Aa
powerlesness/ and the higher power thing
the 12 step programs , say we are powerlss over our reactions
to people ,places and things, we are not pwerless over people
places and things, for instance they say we are powerless over addiction, where is addiction ? it is inside of us, thus we are powerless over our reactions.
ir a peron called you an ******* very loudly at the acme
and there we a lot of people around, our instant reaction
is probley anger or we are hurt by it.
but we are not poweless to the point of not being able to do
any thing about it, this happened to me many years ago and i
was stunned and embarrassed, those feelings i had no controll over,
but i looked around to see how many people heard him say it,
and then i went over to him and punched him right in the mouth and knocked him out.so i was not powerless over him. just my reaction inside. and that is where addiction is inside me.
when my kids were small they would do things that would get me upset, i was powerless over those feeling , but i was not powerless over my children, the got punished and learned not to do those things that upset me.
if i drink coffee at night i am powerless over my reaction to it
because it will keep me up all night, but i am not powerless over coffee , i just stoped drinking it at night.
as far as the higher power thing. we should set aside our differences in this area . and just deal with addiction.
allow people there beleifs, what ever they are.
albert einstine said ther are 2 ways to lok at the universe
either everything is a miricle, or nothing is a miricle
to people ,places and things, we are not pwerless over people
places and things, for instance they say we are powerless over addiction, where is addiction ? it is inside of us, thus we are powerless over our reactions.
ir a peron called you an ******* very loudly at the acme
and there we a lot of people around, our instant reaction
is probley anger or we are hurt by it.
but we are not poweless to the point of not being able to do
any thing about it, this happened to me many years ago and i
was stunned and embarrassed, those feelings i had no controll over,
but i looked around to see how many people heard him say it,
and then i went over to him and punched him right in the mouth and knocked him out.so i was not powerless over him. just my reaction inside. and that is where addiction is inside me.
when my kids were small they would do things that would get me upset, i was powerless over those feeling , but i was not powerless over my children, the got punished and learned not to do those things that upset me.
if i drink coffee at night i am powerless over my reaction to it
because it will keep me up all night, but i am not powerless over coffee , i just stoped drinking it at night.
as far as the higher power thing. we should set aside our differences in this area . and just deal with addiction.
allow people there beleifs, what ever they are.
albert einstine said ther are 2 ways to lok at the universe
either everything is a miricle, or nothing is a miricle
Can you get a password for your screename that the kids dont have?man db,those hydro never really made me high,just normal.lol Or what I thought was normal.
pixi
pixi
I need to hide my posts I think that one of my kids is snooping around, I read how on here somewhere can someone help me find it thank you for the kind words again pixie I am pretty good today but I a little high you know
Good morning to ya db,
I hope you are feeling good this morning.I am still hanging in there.Still want hydro.lol Will it ever go away?You know,i was thinking last night that I lived my whole life without those pills and was pretty happy.Now I am always afraid that life just wont be fun without them.What kind of thinking is that?I do know that it gets better though.I hope things will get easier for you too.I know that you want to quit,but it is a real scary thing.It's like giving up your best friend.We will all be here to support you in whatever decisions you make about using.When I first found this place,I had NO intention of giving up the hydro,but felt inspired by the stories from others.I ran out one day and decided to just GO FOR IT! Your day will come when your ready to do the same so hang in there and keep posting to us.I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
pixi
I hope you are feeling good this morning.I am still hanging in there.Still want hydro.lol Will it ever go away?You know,i was thinking last night that I lived my whole life without those pills and was pretty happy.Now I am always afraid that life just wont be fun without them.What kind of thinking is that?I do know that it gets better though.I hope things will get easier for you too.I know that you want to quit,but it is a real scary thing.It's like giving up your best friend.We will all be here to support you in whatever decisions you make about using.When I first found this place,I had NO intention of giving up the hydro,but felt inspired by the stories from others.I ran out one day and decided to just GO FOR IT! Your day will come when your ready to do the same so hang in there and keep posting to us.I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
pixi
I keep finding your posts at the bottom.lol Yeah,the cigarrettes are the hardest things to quit.my dad died at 59 from emphysema and my mom is in bad shape from the same.i dont know why i continue to deny that it could happen to me.i guess im not being too bright.lol i cant drink because of the hepatitis,alcohol literally makes me very sick.Thank God or that would be my new addiction!As I said earlier,you will know when your ready to quit using.Your off to a good start just finding this place and talking about quitting.my thoughts are with you.
pixi
pixi
That was the nicest thing that any one has ever said to me since I've posted thanks, I'm sorry about your parents health isn't weird how you can know someone and see them so sick from smoking drinking drugs and still no relate that it could be you. I've always wondered why my health doen'st really seem to matter to me and I do all these terribe things to my body and it just keeps on going. I guess its the old life isn't fair deal See Ya
Hi everyone. I am a grateful recovering alcoholic/addict with over 10 years of sobriety. My suggestion to everyone here is to "KEEP IT SIMPLE" and try not to complicate things. There are thousands of us who have, one day at a time, maintained a drug-free and alcohol free life. There is hope. You have to want it.
hey lots of attention, sounds like your
near the end of thr road,
1st get clean
start by thinkg about it.
then taper, if you can.
you know the drill.
you can't make any decesion untill you let go of the pills
we can really screw up a life, us counter culture ,rebels
waht happened to the love.
we need to get better so we can love, because that is the answer
peace
near the end of thr road,
1st get clean
start by thinkg about it.
then taper, if you can.
you know the drill.
you can't make any decesion untill you let go of the pills
we can really screw up a life, us counter culture ,rebels
waht happened to the love.
we need to get better so we can love, because that is the answer
peace
Hey if anyone out here believes in a higher power and it is God and his son Jesus Christ today is the day to put Chezz at the top of your prayer requests, Dear God thank you for your son and I know that you are awesome and all knowing please bless our friend Chezz and watch over his surgery and let the recovery be swift and the pain minimal, he is trying Lord protect him. If you don't pray yourself read this and use it Chezz needs prayer now and our positive posts to keep going
I want to quit everything, I quit smoking last year and I lasted six weeks and quit drinking and quit using and I fell into this huge suicidal depression and started back to smoking then drinking then using and now i do all three. Be careful baby steps are so important. How long have you been clean? I love my marlboros too. I getting alot of wrinkles now though, I'm thinking about botox. what a dork huh? I should probably be worried about my liver not looking good in a casket!
Just hang around here and you'll probably realize that if we can get clean,you can too.You will have to truly want it though.Everyone knows when they are ready,and if your not ready yet,thats ok.I kinda want to quit smoking,but Im not quite ready for that yet.I love to smoke more than I loved hydros and just dont want to stop yet.Were all here for ya,using or not.Take care.
pixi
pixi
You sound nice and you sound clean. I'm sorry if I sound mean, I am fighting such a battle and I keep making excuses to myself and putting it off another day another week, I'm sure you know the drill. I just want a magic pill or a magic personality change. Your right about setting boundaries and the guilt, its awful, my life is so painful and such a secret and I play my part oh so well. My marriage of 20 years is failing right in front of me and I can't stop using or talk to my husband about anything and if he knew he would kick me out anyway he hates me clean and he hates me using he is so stupid he doesn't know the difference. It's so complicated, I can't tell sometimes if its me that makes it that way. Are you a hippy, I used to be. Thank you for the post, I need alot of attention.
religion is a good thing, but like you said get clean 1st.
it was suggested to me when i 1st got clean to put my religion on the back burner, and i try not to bring it up when dealing with addicts because i don't want to seperate my self from them.
i do mention prayer , because i have seen it work. and if something works im all for it.
a lot of new people getting clean jump right back into there
religion, but that is like getting into a boxing ring with no training ,you wind up getting beat up.
we beat ourselves up because we don't live up to our own
unrealistic expectations.
so many people of religion ,are performance orienated,
there beleif is based on thier performance, and when they do good they pat themselves on the back. and when they do bad they beat them selves up, and suffer the guilt trip that goes with it.
guilt is the gasoline that fuels addiction, and a lot of our guolt come's from us stepping outside our own boundry lines.
we need to learn what those boundry lines are.
working the 12 steps is learning to live a life based on the awaking of the spirit.
there is evil in the world, and most addicts have seen it up close, i have read where ever there is an out pouring of the spirit the is a double effort put forth by the diabolic.
this fourm is for addicts and people in cronic pain,
and we have to keep it on that , we have to keep it simple.
by learning about getting a day free from abusing drugs and
learning to avoid guilt trips,and how to deal with our pian
in a resposable way.
we need to take the focous off our selves and start to be aware of others and how we can be of support, by sharing positve experences ,with each other.
most of us have grown up with some kind of religion, but that
never stopped us from useing and abuseing ourselves,
i have a lot of jewish, and moslem , and hindu freinds in recovery and they don't beleive what i beleive what we beleive.
so i set that aside, and consntrate on our simalarities
regarding pain, and addiction , and recovery and prayer and how to help each other and all the things we have in common.
that what the awaking of the spirit is , setting aside our difference, and coming together as equal's
it was suggested to me when i 1st got clean to put my religion on the back burner, and i try not to bring it up when dealing with addicts because i don't want to seperate my self from them.
i do mention prayer , because i have seen it work. and if something works im all for it.
a lot of new people getting clean jump right back into there
religion, but that is like getting into a boxing ring with no training ,you wind up getting beat up.
we beat ourselves up because we don't live up to our own
unrealistic expectations.
so many people of religion ,are performance orienated,
there beleif is based on thier performance, and when they do good they pat themselves on the back. and when they do bad they beat them selves up, and suffer the guilt trip that goes with it.
guilt is the gasoline that fuels addiction, and a lot of our guolt come's from us stepping outside our own boundry lines.
we need to learn what those boundry lines are.
working the 12 steps is learning to live a life based on the awaking of the spirit.
there is evil in the world, and most addicts have seen it up close, i have read where ever there is an out pouring of the spirit the is a double effort put forth by the diabolic.
this fourm is for addicts and people in cronic pain,
and we have to keep it on that , we have to keep it simple.
by learning about getting a day free from abusing drugs and
learning to avoid guilt trips,and how to deal with our pian
in a resposable way.
we need to take the focous off our selves and start to be aware of others and how we can be of support, by sharing positve experences ,with each other.
most of us have grown up with some kind of religion, but that
never stopped us from useing and abuseing ourselves,
i have a lot of jewish, and moslem , and hindu freinds in recovery and they don't beleive what i beleive what we beleive.
so i set that aside, and consntrate on our simalarities
regarding pain, and addiction , and recovery and prayer and how to help each other and all the things we have in common.
that what the awaking of the spirit is , setting aside our difference, and coming together as equal's
Know what I think, I think God is it, I know so many people who have made it on Jesus Christ, I'm not kidding, Knowing Jesus is just like a drug but better, but you've got to really get down on your knees and pray it will work but I'm only able to pray so much and then my higher power turns into dope again but people do really get healed with Christ, when I'm done using that is where I'm going.
Tell him about your pain and what has worked in the past,med wise.Don't go into detail about addiction.A pain doc doesn't have to check your medical records.By the time most people are referred to them it is to control narcotic used anyway.Just tell him about your pain and what you would like to do about it.
bmac
bmac
na has a chapter in there basic text called recovery and relapse
when i got clean it was the only thing i could relate to /
you might want to read it, i read it every day for months]
when i got clean.
check it out
peace!!!!!!!!!
when i got clean it was the only thing i could relate to /
you might want to read it, i read it every day for months]
when i got clean.
check it out
peace!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for the info. I have no insurance so I haven't been using any. I basically just went to the ER when I had pain or a problem. That's what confused me so much when the Dr. came back with even my gynecologists name. I feel that is pretty intrusive. I wasn't aware that going to different ER's was a crime til the emergency room doc told me I was goin to jail. You know what they say though.
It'll take you further than you wanna go
Keep you longer than you wanna stay
And cost you more than you could ever pay!!!
It'll take you further than you wanna go
Keep you longer than you wanna stay
And cost you more than you could ever pay!!!
Bill and all, thank you for your greeting! I'm glad to be putting more distance between me and those pills. I'm incredibly grateful to be given another opportunity to succeed and that I did not succeed in completely destroying my family, as could have been so possible over ther previous months of drug abuse and prescription forgery. I can't believe it; I feel like Jimmy Stewart at the end of It's A Wonderful Life! Accepting of course, my days are just filled with vacillating emotions all scrambled and intense.
I have this enlivened appreciation and intense longing for my wife and kids. It's like I can't tell them enough that I love them and my heart hurts to give each one a huge dose of attention and affection. And that's hard in my case because they're a pretty big crew already and we're adding another to the mix. But man, I'll die trying.
Today is my last buprenorphine dosage, so I guess I'll see tommorow what the residual of all of this is. I have a feeling that lethary will only increase, but that is better than the alternative by a long shot.
Thanks all!
Sean
I have this enlivened appreciation and intense longing for my wife and kids. It's like I can't tell them enough that I love them and my heart hurts to give each one a huge dose of attention and affection. And that's hard in my case because they're a pretty big crew already and we're adding another to the mix. But man, I'll die trying.
Today is my last buprenorphine dosage, so I guess I'll see tommorow what the residual of all of this is. I have a feeling that lethary will only increase, but that is better than the alternative by a long shot.
Thanks all!
Sean
Good morning to you right back.How are you today? I hope things have settled down for you a bit.It must be hard to deal with
others problem when you have problems yourself.I hope today will
be better for you.
bmac
others problem when you have problems yourself.I hope today will
be better for you.
bmac
We went to another meeting (AA), I think it's helped tremendously. She's pretty much stopped talking about finding the meds. At least she wasn't going that way last night. We were talking more about how and why AA works.
I am just not doing well with my own pain. Prednizone is doing nothing for it. My mood is in the basement. I'm telling myself to hold on until my family leaves, because the pain may get better without the stress. If I go onto to meds now... well, I just can't.
I am just not doing well with my own pain. Prednizone is doing nothing for it. My mood is in the basement. I'm telling myself to hold on until my family leaves, because the pain may get better without the stress. If I go onto to meds now... well, I just can't.
So glad to hear your voice! I'm relieved that the chinese fire drill has abated somewhat and even more relieved that you and your sis are getting to meetings. How long, pray tell, does the blessed visitation last?
My brother-in-law was on prednizone for years (I'm assuming) and he got off it a few months ago. I really am not aware of the details of his circumstance but his mom told me that it was a very difficult time for him.
I just want to let you know I'm thinking about you and your circumstances today. Please be very good to yourself.
Sean
My brother-in-law was on prednizone for years (I'm assuming) and he got off it a few months ago. I really am not aware of the details of his circumstance but his mom told me that it was a very difficult time for him.
I just want to let you know I'm thinking about you and your circumstances today. Please be very good to yourself.
Sean
Thanks for your reply.
It lasts until Tuesday morning. One good thing is that my husband came home from a trip late last night. Having him home for the next 3 days will help a lot.
The pred. is only for 5 days, but the very fact that it's not working is discouraging because of what that indicates - that my disc problems may not be inflammatory and are mechanical instead. The only way out of that may be surgery, altho the way I feel right now, i would do surgery in a heartbeat.
Trying to be patient. And enjoy all the children around here. And thank God that my own child is stable at the moment.
Sean, you don't write like a banker.
It lasts until Tuesday morning. One good thing is that my husband came home from a trip late last night. Having him home for the next 3 days will help a lot.
The pred. is only for 5 days, but the very fact that it's not working is discouraging because of what that indicates - that my disc problems may not be inflammatory and are mechanical instead. The only way out of that may be surgery, altho the way I feel right now, i would do surgery in a heartbeat.
Trying to be patient. And enjoy all the children around here. And thank God that my own child is stable at the moment.
Sean, you don't write like a banker.
Jessearpy,
I have noticed many of my posts missing too especially from the initial boards thread headers.
Then while re-reading the entire thread, my comment will be there along with others not listed either. Than later my commment is back on the thread list, only for the next day, it to be gone again. I also do not use profanity. I think it is a computer glitch of some sort due to memory capacity and/or compression of files at the server, especially the longer posts so as to fit more data in. Just my opinion.
Chatahan
Sean, I am so glad to see you doing well with your detox. I am sure it has to be a relief after the preceding 3 weeks of craziness you had. I am also glad to see your family has played an important role in keeping your spirits up. The stories of your kids really made me smile for you.
Cincee, I hope things will ease up for you. I am sure you are right about the stress and your family being there contributing to your pain and stiffness. Hopefully things will get better as the days move forward. Does it take prednizone a few days to catch up and work? That is the way I remember it last time I took it. Also, its only for 5 days? I hope it will at least help some through the weekend.
Chezz
Cincee, I hope things will ease up for you. I am sure you are right about the stress and your family being there contributing to your pain and stiffness. Hopefully things will get better as the days move forward. Does it take prednizone a few days to catch up and work? That is the way I remember it last time I took it. Also, its only for 5 days? I hope it will at least help some through the weekend.
Chezz
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