quick question

I'm currently 48 hours Into my detox.  So far its been pretty mild (ill get into specifics later) but after a 5-6 month relapse how long should I expect the "rebound" pain to last?  I kno typically the worst is over after 72 hours, but this lower back pain is driving me crazy.  I have no real back problems (aside from poor sitting posture) and I took the pills recreationally. Any input will help. And ill come back with all the details when I feel I can actually move a bit.

Thanks for taking time to read/answer me.

[reallyneedhelp76]

I read a doctor online saying that rebound pain can be quite intense but it's because the body will react in a way that will percieve pain more.  From what people have said here, the pain lasts for a couple days like up to 6 or 7.  ALot of people say taking a hot bath/shower will help alot!  I wish you the best of luck, your doing great, I'm only on day 1 and it stinks.

[wherestheresetbutton]

Thanks for your response :)  I tried the hot bath/shower/sauna yesterday but it seemed to just make all of the cold sweats and overall jitteryness worse.  So I'm kinda reluctant to try again.  Been taking 800mg of ibuprophen regularly, but it seems to have no effect.  

In comparison to typical withdrawal symptoms, sweats, chills, headaches.  The only real problem I've had so far is this unbearable back pain and mild rls, which is treated for a short time by hylands leg cramps with quinine(sp?).  I might try some yoga here in a bit if I can muster some energy to get up, as yoga helped me immensly last time I went through detox.

[wherestheresetbutton]

Also I've been on a heating pad steady for the last 48 hours, from time to time pulling out a cheapo "shiatsu massager". And a few back rubs from my awesomly supportive girlfriend.  At the moment funds are too low to buy anything otc to help, any other home remidies that I could try?

Thanks again,
S.

[wherestheresetbutton]

Ugh rls is the WORST!  Just dozed off to be awoken by legs that feel like they need to run a mile...how much melatonin Is ok to use? I got 3mg pills, I only used one about 1h 30 min ago, would another help this late?  Too bad I dont have any bananas around, I'd eat ten if it would help lol.

[gnarly_1]

HI  theres  a lot of 24hr walmarts ans walgreens open ....i would go pick up some highlands restful legs,,,,,it is hopathic you can take 2 or 3 every hr and it should help wityh the legs .....also if you take a blanket and rape it tighly around your legs...kinda like swaddling a baby it often helps also other then that a good hot soak will brring some releaf hang in there it will pass but untill it does it will drive youy nuts good luck and God bless......Gnarly

[wherestheresetbutton]

Thanks for the response so late gnarly, still stuck awake... I have hyla ds restful legs, and hylands leg cramps with quinine. Neither has helped so far, but what can I doo besides keeping positive and keep trying. Hopefully some rest is on the way :/

[readytohavemyLIFEback]

Hope your pain is better and you got some rest.  Hang in there. You and I are just about in the same time frame.  I'm on day 3 and feeling alittle restless.  Hopefully by tomorrow the worse will be over.  Good Luck!

[wherestheresetbutton]

Well, this morning my pain seems to have subsided.  But man oh man where the RLS in control last night.  Got almost no sleep, but I'm off work till satarday so if I have a chance during the day I'm gonna nap ny heart out.   Thanks for checkin in on me :) ill be back to post more later.

S.

[sudie58]

i am glad you are hanging in there, eat some bananas, sounds daft but can help resstless legs, its the potassium in them, also drink tonic water, best wishes.

[readytohavemyLIFEback]

I really think the bananas work because I do not have RLS. I think the L-Tyrosine(amino acid) and vitamins are helping as well.

@Wherestherestbutton maybe it will help to know that you are not alone.  As I said earlier we are into this for about the same amount of hours. (hope that makes since, brain not really working)  It helps me to know that others are in the same boat.  Hopefully we are at least half way there.

[constantbeauty]

Stay strong, you're getting your life back!

I'm really glad to hear that you're able to be off from work until Saturday. This will give you time to be alone, get things together and adapt to the changes that you're about to embark on. There are a lot of members here that are proud of you, myself included.

Like the above poster mentioned, bananas really help with RLS if the other stuff you've tried isn't helping. Just know that you're still in the begining process of all of this, so it might take a few days. It's normal to feel the way you are right now -- WD is always different from one person to the next, but in the end, they all stink to no end! You're doing good so far, so keep your head up about all of this and post, post, post!

[wherestheresetbutton]

After all the response I've recievied, it really does do wonders to my seld esteem, and my drive to push through this.  Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement. A little background on me, I'm a 24 year old male,  Ive been an addict since 2009.  It all started with taking a few pills here and there (maybe once a month) for fun.  Later on I did strain my back working an odd job, which I never started self medicating.  The real fun began when I discovered MMORPGs(online games like world of Warcraft).  I would spend endless hors hunched over a computer playing these games, And we all know how badly poor posture can affect us.  Being I havent had health insurance since I lived at home(moved out at 17), I would ask those older and wiser than me what they thought it could be, almost every single response was the same...kidney stones.. Seriously? Kidney stones at 19? At that point.I began getting maybe 5 7.5/700 for the week when the pain would be bad.  I never really thought anything of it. My intake slowly rose to a 10/500/650 once to twice a day.  At that point I still wasnt abusing the illegal mess I was acquiring from the street.  Around the summer of 2009, my previous boss (RIP ol Ben) and I developed quite the father/son relationship, one that I had truly desired my whole life(both parents are recovering addicts so no love there) well in January 2010 my boss had been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer (so bad they couldn't even attempt to remove it) and within a couple weeks the man closest to me passed away.  After that I just couldn't hold it together anymore.  I found the more pills I took the less the loss of the closest father figure I'd ever had hurt me.  So from that point I went from 1 10mg loricet a day slowly up to around 15 a day.  If it wasn't for my absolutley amazing girlfriend I probably never would have noticed how bad I really was.  So I decided it was time, and that is when I originally found medhelp, I scoured this site, I looked up waterer techniques I could find, and decided tapering was what I would do.  So with the careful watch of my girlfriend I was able to drop from 15+ a day slowly down to a half a pill in the morning.  After two days on the 1/2 pill, I said F this, I'm done!! Flushed that last half and was sober for 6 months.  And to be com

[wherestheresetbutton]

Oops posted that too soon.. Typing on my iPod. But to be completely honest, the amount I used during my relapse has clouded my mind, I can't remember much of the last 6 months, just that at the end I was taking almost 20 or more a day just to feel normal.  This time, I hid this from my girlfriend, I was so ashamed, I had done so well and now feel like I've thrown it all not only down the drain, that she will never be able to trust me again. My whole relapse from her,she actually  had to find out by me leaving a pill on the counter when I left for work, which actually turned out to be a godsend.  After some time she forgave me, and as long as I stick to my guns, she will stay by my side every step of the way. We have been together for 6 years now, and I cannot let this happen again, as I know in my heart, that she is my true soulmate, and she deserves better than an addict.  Which is why this HAS TO BE THE LAST TIME.  I have so much to lose, I never really have hit a "rock bottom". I just tend to think about my future, and if I don't stop this before it gets too late, I'll end up a junkie just like my parents were at my age.

But, it's day three, just past 60 hours, aside from sleeping like absolute crap last night I feel much better today.  K rant over. Comments?

[NoOC123]

That's not a rant! Thank you for telling everyone that. It's heartbreaking really to see all the pain and loss people have suffered through, and the way addiction comes through their lives and tears things to shreds. You should feel fortunate to have such a wonderful girlfriend, and I can just tell you absolutely deserve someone like her. I will say you've got to want to get off these pills for yourself. OF course it helps to have other motivating sources but deep down you have to really want it for yourself. I understand that feeling of like you haven't really "hit a bottom" but don't think of it in terms of that, just make yourself a little list or something of all the reasons you want to stop. Whatever they are write them down and keep them in your wallet and re-read them whenever you need. Do it now while the pain of your addiction is fresh in your mind. Because it may help when cravings hit. Also, it is good to do motivate yourself to stop for the reason of salvaging your future but don't think too far forward and don't put to much pressure on yourself. Just think about today. I know thats cliche, but it's true. Thinking about the future can get you down on yourself and cause you to beat yourself up and what not for all the time you "wasted" as a "addict" (I dont think theres such a thing because every situation you can learn from) but I do know how we can get in our heads when we're beating ourselves up. Plus it can add additional worries and stress.

So, basically just worry about today. You're sober, you're moving farther away from drugs and closer to feeling better. You didn't have to lie to anyone today. You didn't have to steal anything or sneak around your girlfriend or feel the guilt of knowing you are high with her. You can be honest today, and just appreciate the small things you are accomplishing today. Congrats on three days. DOn't beat yourself up over the relapse, I have relapsed many times and it is so hard to pick yourself back up I know I have beat myself up so bad mentally that I didn't think i'd ever stop using, but I am trying again as well. I know how good sobriety can be, I have experienced it , and you will too. Keep going forward, and maybe check out AA or NA meetings if you felt like it.

[wherestheresetbutton]

Thank you for your post, Its hard to not beat ourselves up right now.  I just read this entire thread to my girlfriend, and she told me the exact same thing, I'm doing great, I'm almost over the physical hump.  I just can't keep the thoughts of my parents out of my head.  I fought so hard goring up to stay away from all drugs/alcohol knowing my families addictive history, but somewhere down the road that all changed.  But I know there is an end to this, although it will be a fight for the rest of my life, at least I'm giving myself a chance at life by getting this behind me before a decade has passed and I've wondered where it all went.  This website is Amazing, you guys lift my spirits so much.  Kinda sad how I've always been the tough guy that NEVER cries, ever,  that's almost all I've been doing the last three days.  Gonna get out of the house for a bit, grab some food, and try to encourage my girlfriend to do her best as she has a major final exam tomorrow.
I'll post back in a little while.
Thank you, all of you
S.

[NoOC123]

Don't beat yourself up for becoming addicted like your parents. This disease discriminates against nobody. It affects every kind of person, and when you have addiction in your family, in your genes, it only makes it that much more possible that you will become addicted. I don't know the story of your parents, (if they're still using, if they're in recovery, etc.) but don't use this to pull you down. Use it to motivate you. Going through something like this and making it through gives you such a bigger perspective on the world, it allows you much deeper compassion when viewing others. It makes you stronger, better person. If you can put the work in and get through this, then addiction is not something to be ashamed of. It is something you can be proud of. Everyone in life has problems, whether it be financial, mental, physical, health, other forms of addiction, anger, loss, whatever it is, everyone's got something to face. The ones that own up and face it and come through the other side should be admired and proud of thtemselves. In our case, it is addiction. You can get past this, don't give up.

[wherestheresetbutton]

I always try to use my parents situation to help me out, they are both in recovery, my dad from alcohol/heroin, and my mom alcohol/crystal meth.  My dad has a long time of sobriety under his belt, something like 18 years since his last relapse.  But to this day I still harbor ill feelings against both of them for not being there for me growing up. At age 6 they deserted me, for their drugs, and didn't even attempt to contact me until I was 13, and until high school I used that to keep me away from all the bad influences kids are exposed to.  But the freedom of highschool changed all that.  Regardless of what HAS happened, this is my life, and I need to man up so when I have kids I can give them the life they deserve.  I can, will, and know I will beat this. I'm three days in, the nasty feelings have mostly left me, and the only cravings I've had are cravings to destroy the facilities that make these highly addictive drugs, that destroy lives.

Time to eat, post later
Stayin possitive :)

[wherestheresetbutton]

Well, after getting some food in my stomach, helping a neighboor with a network problem, I got really sleepy.  Picked up some bananas on my way home and ate two once I got home.  Now, why does it seem like my body doesn't want me to rest?  I was dozing off, and theb BAM, legs start freakin out. After 2 hours of sleep last night i'd figure I could get at least an hour nap in...I litterally have almost no symptoms, sweats, chills, nausea, headache...jut these horrible RLS.  I almost feel as though I would rather the other symptoms.  What should I do? I'm so exhausted, I just want some rest and my irritability is interfering with my girlfriends studying, and this test is the most important of her college career so far.  I would say that after almost 3 days (66 3/4 hours) this is my first real freak out.  I feel my GF is going to suffer because she I worrying about me....when she needs to stay focused on herself.


Sigh...what should I do?
S.

[finann]

Have you tried tylenol pm? It used to help me when I would w/d. Now I take flexeril it's a non narcotic muscle relaxer. I'm 6hrs in and going to quit for good this time. I too have a lot to lose. Good luck!

[wherestheresetbutton]

Ya, I've tried all the otc sleep aids.  Most just contain bebedryl and for me that makes it worse.  Just got up and went to the grocery store, got some epsom salt.  The thing is, ever since I was little I have been such a baby about hot water lol. How embarrasing! But its true. Besides my little flip out earlier I'm doin great now, just gave up on sleep for now, it will come when it comes.  I'm in houston, and I'm sitting outside watching our first "rain" in like 2 months, attempting to enjoy life without opiates.  2 1/2 hours away from 72 hours!!!  Quite proud of myself as I've not only not had any cravings,  but the longer I feel crappy the more I hate those evil little pills.  Now, I'm actually in a "hot" epsom salt bath.

Thank again everyone, all encouragement is always welcome. :)

[criminy1]

Sleep was my worst part and I gave up on it too. Actually, giving into the fact that sleep was a no go helped me deal with it better. Less frustration.

[TryingItAgain]

you are doing awesome! i am 32 and been through it before.  if you can find it at a health food store try L5HT.  It is the amino acid found in turkey meat, potatoes and other natural wonders that makes you sleepy.  It works pretty well. one keeps you calm, two helps to sleep.  KEEP UP THE GOOD FIGHT!!!

[like_mom]

Wherestheresetbutton. I'm proud of you. As a mother of 3, your courage insides me. I have children from 4 to 19 in age. They inspire me daily and are the reason to kick this habit! I too had addict parents and my mother lost her life to her vicodin addiction Xmas day 2007. You'd think I'd know better. But here I am fighting a battle I will win! Thanks for your posts. Thank you all!!! Everything from this site helps tremendously!

[like_mom]

Darn autocorrect!

[NoOC123]

The restless legs will last the longest and they are horrible i know. There are things you can do. Taking a walk and getting some movement helps to tire them. You can take a hot shower or bath. The thing that worked the best for me was i'd sit for about half an hour watching TV with my legs wrapped in heating pads. After about thirty minutes if I took them out I swear i'd get the best relief. You can also get stuff specifically for restless legs from vitamin stores. Advil may help too.

That restless, crawling out of your skin, freak out feeling is normal. It's the mental and physical part of WD combined. The drugs will do anything to try to make you think you need them. But don't give into it. It helps if you can find something to distract yourself. This inability to sleep wears on you, I know. You feel like you're at your breaking point. You can't sleep at night, but you are so tired. You toss and turn. The next day you're like a walking zombie and you still can't even get in a nap. I get it, been there, felt it all. I can tell you though, one night you will crash and just pass out and finally get that good night sleep. And when you wake up you will feel rejuvenated rather than dope sick. Just keep moving forward, these are just obstacles. You'll get over them. You can do it.

These feelings will go away but in the meantime have you tried going to a meeting or anything? Listening to other people's stories was always helpful to me. Plus it passes the time and you're around people who understand what you're going through.

[wherestheresetbutton]

Thank you all for your kind words.  I found the epsom salt bath worked wonders, while I was in it, once I got out it brought back the cold sweats.  Probably because my body temp rose, but that's fine i'd rather sweat than need to run a marathon.  

Although I harbor ill feelings towards my parents, I love them dearly.  Both in recovery, mom does church counseling in cali, and my dad is the leader of an aa group right across town.  I want to seek help, but I do not believe the 12 step program is for me.  Once my dad came into my life again, when I was youner, I would visit him, but it was always at a halfway house, or aa meetings.  Don't get me wrong, they're great programs, but when you are forced to go when you are young it kind of sticks with you.  

I'm also afraid of revealing my problem to my parents.  I am so very proud that they both fight for a good life, and I just don't know if I could let them down by telling them.  I'm also afraid if it could possibly be a trigger for either of them. And that is the last thing in the world I want.  

Anyways, I'm going to go read harry potter, up to book 6....wat a nerd I am lol
Thank you all again for your Inspiration, and I'm glad my words may be helping some in this terrible struggle.
Ill keep checking in, thanks everyone you are all amazing
S.

[wherestheresetbutton]

OOHH, only 15 minutes from 72 hours!!  3 days into a fresh new life :)
I lurked these forums since early 2010, and never got the nerve to post.  Don't know how I could be shy on an annonymous website, but honestly its the best thing I've done for myself since I got into this mess.
Whatever religion everyone is, you are all saints in my eyes (if that makes sense)

[LeaAnn807]

Hey, I just wanted to say congrats, and you're doing great!  72 hours is by far the worst, and you're THERE!  I used a heating pad for a while too with the Hyland's Leg Cramps.  It helped me so much.  I still keep some around!

What I would recommend about sleep is exactly what you're doing.  Just get up and don't even force yourself to stay in bed.  Try to trick your mind.  Act like you WANT to stay up.  Just get comfortable, if you can, and hang out!!! : )  And DO NOT take Benadryl!  It made my restlessness 10x worse.  I'd rather just be awake than feel that way!

Congrats again!

[NoOC123]

Ooh I love harry potter.

Anyways, I don't think you will be a trigger to your parents. I actually highly highly doubt that. If anything they will understand your struggles more than anything you can imagine. They've been through it, they know the battle, and the pain you must be in, but also, being active members of AA they know they can't control you. They can only support and be there as help if you ask. They will not be let down, the same pride you feel towards them they will feel back at you as you are owning up to your problems and trying to face them.

I could be wrong, but I also wouldn't be surprised if they have their own guilt around your current addiction. Seeing as they struggled with addiction all throughout your childhood and role modeled those behaviors to you.

I understand how AA can be annoying when forced upon you. If you ever do come to terms with it and want to try the program, I think you'd receive a lot of support and a lot of help with the resentments you have towards your parents. But all in due time.

If not AA maybe a counselor? It probably would help you to work out those resentments towards your parents and let them go. You'll feel better. Forgiveness often benefits the forgiver even more then it benefits the one being forgiven.

[wherestheresetbutton]

I've considered counseling also, but unfortunatly when I was 18 I got busted with a couple joints of pot.  Well I ended up with a year of probation that I didn't even complete a month of(what a moron, right?)  Well...being raised in middle-upper class by my grandparents, I am terrified of jail, and have prolonged that problem.  I have since found a local higher end lawyer that will cut me some slack financially, and I plan on finally taking care of that, so I can begin taking care of me.

There are far too many things that I missed as a teen and early 20's and I want that opportunity to do something with myself, I mean there is no way its too late...I'm only 24.  And I know this cannot be done without some sort of outside professional help to guide me in the proper direction.

Thank you guys, I need these different outlooks of experienced people, I'm young and with some guidance I can take my life back.  
Ill keep checkin in, thank you guys :)

[NoOC123]

That probation incident shouldn't stop you from being able to get counseling though right? You shouldn't let that get in your way. If you're willing to get help there will always be a way. I have faith in that. I am young like you as well, im 21, but ive been through a lot with addiction. Im here for you if you need anything. Keep checking in like you've said, there is always help available if one is willing to reach for it :)

[wherestheresetbutton]

Man, am I having the worst night ever...I keep dozing off to wake up 10 minutes later covered in sweat.  I don't know what to do, I'm so exhausted

[LeaAnn807]

Unfortunately that's totally normal!  It may even happen on and off for a couple of weeks.  The normal sleep pattern is by far the last thing to return.  In fact, it took me a couple of weeks to sleep more than about an hour or two at a time.  I remember one day last April, I was so exhausted and I dozed off for like 30 minutes in a row, and I was SO excited!!  Now that's pretty desperate!

Try to keep your days as normal, with as little time on the couch or bed as possible.  That will help return your body and brain to normal.  I know....easy for me to say?  Sorry!

[wherestheresetbutton]

Well, somewhere around 5 or 6 I dozed off, almost got 5 hours.  Beggining day four now, so for now I just gotta keep my head up.  Ill come back in a while when I feel better.  Thank you tram,  knowing its going to end in time does help.

S.

[LeaAnn807]

Around day 4 I had to start making myself get up and get in the shower FIRST thing.  I mean, I couldn't stand to sit still, and taking a hot shower got me moving.  I also found ten minute-tasks to keep me busy but not wear me out.  My energy was shot and so was my sleep, and that's NOT a good combo for feeling well! : )  But....the busier I stayed, the better I felt.  

[wherestheresetbutton]

Ya, I totally get that.  I was laying in bed feeling bad for myself... how effing selfish that is on my part.  My girlfriend tanked through all night studying for her statistics exam today.  But I gave up on feeling bad for myself, she needs me.  I am her rock and this whole week I've been nothing but a huge train wreck.  I feel terrible about it, but at least for once like somebody mentioned to me earlier, I didn't have to lie to her, cheat, or hide being high, all week.  Regardless of how much of a train wreck I might be, it still feels absolutly amazing knowing that I'm finally going to really be there for her again.  6 years....she has dealt with so much of my crap, must be true love :).  I'm ready to have all of me back, the clarity in my head now after 84 hours really let's me see what I've been doing these last 6 months.  Its my time now, and I plan on following through with my real dreams now, if I haven't already screwed that up.  But for now, I must focus on now.  I can work on getting my future together after these stupid physical symptoms stop.  I deserve to feel this way, after everything I've done.  But I can make it, and hopefully rebuild bridges I myself tore down.

This website is a lifesaver.
From the bottom of my heart I thank all of you

[LeaAnn807]

Yes, at least you are real now.  Even though you may be a "real" trainwreck! LOL

Just concentrate on today.  Or...like I did, concentrate on 5 minutes at a time if you have to.  It tickles me now to see how we ALL, me included, count the hours that we have been clean.  I never knew if it was night or day when I was using, but for the first 6 months I was clean I knew the time down to the millisecond!!!!!!  Cracks me up.  But most everything does now.  I am happy and laugh constantly, mostly at myself.  You will be too, and you will be there for your GF and not just physically present.  Nobody wants that do they?  Our families want us back, and it's the greatest gift you can give them!

You're doing great.  Congrats on 84 hours! : D

[wherestheresetbutton]

I still remember how great it felt to get sober before my relapse.  But I took my sobriety too lightly, and of course fell into the whole "oh, just 1 will be ok".  It seems almost as I lost track of my sober time, I lost track of the importance of staying mentally strong.  At this point, I have a huge decision to make.  I'm either going to join the millitary, and help this country that I have helped with all the frug searching and other illegal things I've done.  I have so much potential, I'm just going to have to work twice as hard to get where I want due to my recovery.  But these are big decisions, and I'm not really clean yet, so I must just ponder on them now and not make any decisions untill my head is really clear.

Thank you tramahater, u really help keep my mind thinking of positive things.  

[wherestheresetbutton]

Been sitting outside, enjoying the calm before a hopeful storm, maybe ill walk to the other side of the complex and buy a water from a vending machine.  Amazing how much daylight makes life easier.

By the way, my name is steven, and I AM an addict.  Without all of your posts, and guidance, I wouldn't be in the mindset I am now.  I thank god for all of you, recovering, detoxing, active, all of you.

[wherestheresetbutton]

Had a sslight change of heart, I'm walking to a little store about a mile away.  Halfway there. :)

[LeaAnn807]

That's great!  Keep that walking up.  The sunshine and exercise will help a lot!  

The thing with making big decisions....I'd put that one off.  I think it's very noble of you to want to help out like that, but making too big of a decision right now could be a big mistake.  You might end up doing or not doing something that you regret!  Just my two cents!

[wherestheresetbutton]

Gah, keep typing out posts and they dissapear before I can post them...but anyways, I totally understand the big decision making.  I'm just kinda leaning towards it because I come from a mostly navy family (aside from my dad and I).  But these decions must come at a later date.  As I may feel like I'm level headed, but I know I am still not there yet.  But a plan must be found, as I have wasted too much of my life screwing around, and the time for change is now.  I can always make new plans, but I cannot undo decisions, so I will wait.

Steven

[NoOC123]

Hey,
congrats on making it through the night. I agree with Tram, it's best not to make any big decisions while detoxing or in early sobriety for that matter. You sound like you're getting better, and in my experiences after day 4 or early day 5, things always began to feel better for me. Not sleeping is the worst though. I can't  sit still in the daytime how the he ll am I supposed to sit still at night and actually sleep lol. But you can get melatonin or valerian root or ADvil PM or things like that to try to help you get to bed.

It's sweet how you want to be the rock for your girlfriend, but don't put so much pressure on yourself. The true meaning of a relationship is two people that unconditionally love andwant to be there for eachother. Thus, you take turns. Youve been together for six yrs and youve been her rock, now you're having a tough few weeks and trying to overcome something huge so maybe cut yourself some slack, and even let her be "your rock" for a little bit.

I am so happy you're getting through the detox. I know what you mean with the relapse, thinking, "Oh i can just take one" i've done that so many times before and ending up back in the depths of my addiction, dope sick, and hopeless. Yet it's insane that I still somehow keep doing that same thing thinking "this time will be different." Of course it won't but be careful of your own mind, it can play some crazy tricks on you. Thats why I think it's so key to have some supportive poeple that you can bounce your thoughts off of. And they can either support it or tell you youre crazy and keep you in check and sober :)

This website is good, but its always helpful to have face to face support to. What surprise me (in my case) is after a few weeks when the WD's have subsided and i'm starting to feel good again, I so easily forget all the pain of detox and the damage of my addiction and start to wonder, hmm maybe I can have just one. And slowly but surely the addiction takes over my mind again. I'm not saying this will happen to you, im only sharing my experiences but I do think it is so important to have support. To have people that have gone through the same thing you are and can notice things in yourself that you may not even be able to see for yourself!

Anyways, congrats on staying sober and getting through another day. Just worry about today, don't let your mind start worrying about your future all that matters is staying clean today.

[wherestheresetbutton]

I've decided I'm going to talk to both of my parents about my problem, when? I don't know yet, gotta get some more cojones before I can do that.  My dad lives 2 minutes away, so once I do confide in him help will be right around the corner.

Wanted to go for another walk, but a thunderstorm is on the way :( so, I think ill do some exersize inside, and maybe watch a movie.  Daytime is getting easier and easier, the sleep just freaks me out lol.

Thanks for your post, keepin me in the right thought processes

[wherestheresetbutton]

Just sat through all of the book of Eli, great movie. Just ate, and going to try another movie.

Staying calm today, 3 hours from 4 days

[constantbeauty]

Sitting out in the sunshine does wonders, I know it did for me when I was going through my mess! Keep going -- we're all so proud of you and what you've already accomplished!

[wherestheresetbutton]

The getting out of the house, and walking, music and movies really got me through today.  Walked over 2 miles so my legs were nice and exhausted.  Got a nap earlier, so I know sleep will be rough tonight, but since the nap, my restlessness is almost gone.  So, ill call it a movie night, and see how it goes.

To anybody reading my story, and posting with your awesome advice, I thank you.  My mindset was good pre-detox, but after getting over my shyness of posting, I now know what I really have to do to beat this.  And that wouldn't have happened without everybodies help here.  
Thank you all
Steven

[wherestheresetbutton]

Well, movie night lasted all of 30 minutes, and I passed out!  Got almost 8 hours of sleep, and man does that make a huge difference In how I feel.  Doing great today, already made my walk to the store, and will probably go again today, make it a 4 mile day.  

Life is looking better, I can actually enjoy things again now that I'm not constantly high. Now the research can begin on aftercare, as I don't intend on effing this up again, this is my life, and I deserve better than I have been putting myself through, and I know I will need help in hard times.  

Anyways, great day today, day 5 starting.  Kinda worried about work on the heat tomorrow, but I think ill be ok.
Thank you all
Steven

[mellie4]

Sleep is so underrated in our society and it's a great healer.  Glad you're feeling better and I'm sure every day will be better than the day before.

[wherestheresetbutton]

ZWe never really realize how important sleep is till we're deprived of it lol.  But with the sleep I got I've been able to double my exersise from yesterday already, and its only noon for me.  I plan on really pushing myself today.  Its sad really, I used to be able to run 5 miles, bench 200+ lbs etc. Etc., now I can't even do 15 pushups in a row.  Its amazing how I've let my mental and physical health go over the years.  Gotta get at least some of it back!

Great day today, haven't laid down since I woke, walked 4 miles and done as much exersise I can in the time I've been awake.  Really starting to see how bad I have f'ed my life up with the life I've been living.  Its going to take a lot of work to get back to before, but with outside help, I'm going to take my life back.

Steven

[TryingItAgain]

you are doing great. i am at 25 1/2 hrs.  I was taking around 15+ a day til Sunday and decided to end it.  I didn't take anything on on Mon., took 2 on Tue, and 1 each of the past two days. (had to work, no choice)  I hope this eases the w/d's.  Just into day two and feel ok really.... just no sleep.
  The support from the people I meet on here is awesome.  I, like you, creeped on sites like this before but never posted til now.  It helps to do that.  I am glad that I'm out and told my Dr. NO MORE!!  The moments of clarity are so great!

[wherestheresetbutton]

Yeah, the clarity I feel now is awesome, short lived, but awesome none the less.  I saw this period of detox described as like I'm on a cloud, everything is awesome, since I haven't really felt anything real in 6 months.  I know that these happy go lucky feelings aren't permanent, which is why I must find some aftercare, as I am really ready to start my life, and god willing a family.  One step at a time :) thanks for your post

Steven

[gnarly_1]

Hey good to see you feeling better its great to find clarity in life now fro the hard part .....staying clean....you need to get plugged in somewhere to treat your addiction it wont just go away because you quit using the pills .....it is the very way we think as addicts that needs to be addressed both N/A and A/A are free and good programs theres also conslors and therapist that specialize in this but dont skip this critical part of your recovery otherwise you'll be back here again in 6 mo this is a very treatable deseise but you gto to treat it good luck on your recovery become pro active in it and you will be successful .......Gnarly    

[wherestheresetbutton]

Well, today has been good, stayed busy, worked out a little, walked 4 miles today.

But I'm stressing about tomorrow.  Tomorrow is day 6, and its back to work, no more days off.  I manage a paintball field, and we're expecting over 150 people.  That's 150 people who know nothing of saftey, walking around with guns that could blind or even kill somebody.  Anybody have any advice as to how I should try to handle tomorrow?

Other than worrying about that, all is still well

Steven

[ImDONENoMore]

SLOWLY.  That's how I would handle tomorrow!

And tell some of your co-workers you're just not feeling well (you don't need to give them details) so they won't be expecting the world from you.  And if you have to - ask for some extra help tomorrow if you think you need it - you would do that for one of your co-workers if they asked you so why shouldn't you expect the same right?  You're not going to be feeling like this forever so needing any extra assistance at work will only be temporary!!  Good luck!!  I'm sure you'll be fine.  :)

[wherestheresetbutton]

Inside my head I know I'm going to be ok, I have great support at work, my girlfriend is the cashier.  She has finished her testing and has been backing me up 100%, just can't help but worry about it.  But, I got myself into this mess, so I earned this slow crawl back out of my hole. Thanks for your post, helps when I have access to other peoples perspectives.

[LeaAnn807]

Hey, work can actually be a good thing on day 6.  You have some energy, because you're exercising, so that will help a BUNCH!  Just get up and go do it tomorrow!  It will keep your mind and body busy.  You won't believe how much it will help. So......there's no need to dread! : )

You got this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[wherestheresetbutton]

Oh man,

I'm so nervous about today... got some sleep last night and woke freakin out.  I'm going to be trapped there till 6pm, so if anybody wants to leave me a confidence booster, ill be able to check posts from time to time, but not be able to really post till maybe lunch, if we have time for a break today.

Wish me luck, I'm gonna need it

[struggling_college_student]

Good luck man!  From your posts you have a great frame of mind.......Believe me getting clean is hard and staying clean is harder but don't let it scare you.....take it day by day and pretty soon the days turn into weeks, weeks into months, etc.  I can hardly believe its been 140 days since I last used any opiates, I still get cravings from time to time but they are short lived.  I really wish you the best and remember people are on this forum 24/7 to offer encouragement and advice.  Have fun at work today!

Jeff

[ImDONENoMore]

Jeff is right - your frame of mind has been really good through all of this and do take it day by day.  You'll get through the day and will feel really good about that tonight.  And you'll be even stronger to handle the next day ahead of you.  Trust that okay?  :)

[wherestheresetbutton]

Thanks a lot guys, a real mood booster to have others help.  I'm on the way there right now, no turning back, and no calling in sick.  Ill try to post today, but will probably lust check this thread a few times so please, all the encouragment I can get is welcomed, as it does wonders for me.  Thank you guys for posting so early :)

[ImDONENoMore]

You can DO this!!  It's going to be 6 p.m. before you know and I'm sure the activity will help you sleep easier as well.  And you are going to feel SO proud of yourself tonight!!

[wherestheresetbutton]

Well aside from being kinda grumpy, and really drained of energy I'm makin it so far...crazy people with paintball guns lol..

Thanks for the ispiration guys/gals

[ImDONENoMore]

Well look at it this way - at least you get to be around "crazy" people having fun.  It beats the hell out of having to be around a bunch of stuffed shirts during all of this right?  LOL  Keep going - you are doing GREAT!!  And it's after 1 already and it's going to be 6 before you know it!!  Think how GREAT you're going to feel when you get home tonight.  That thought alone will keep you going.  :)

[LeaAnn807]

Hey, kinda grumpy is better than being in jail for threatening to kill one of them, right?  When I was detoxing, I'm pretty sure that would have been me!!!!! : )  You're doing great!  Hang in there!

[wherestheresetbutton]

lol your guys are awesome, thank you so much!

[like_mom]

Hey Steven! Just stopping by following your progress, way to go!  I admire your outlook and maturity at your age. I worked with at risk youth for years, many students are now your age and older. With that being said, I can say you truly are in a league of your own. Which IS a compliment. ;)

[wherestheresetbutton]

Man, what a day today.  First and foremost, I owe everybody that posted today a huge thank you, it started rough, but just like EVERYBODY said, it ended up being a cakewalk, and by the end of the day I was actually having fun, pranking staff members like I used too, setting off firecrackers at the best moments, watching 12 people all jump.  I had a pretty good day, that anxiety this morning was hell.  Ill make sure I don't subject myself to that again tomorrow, as I don't go in till 11, I will probably have a few hours before to do something fun, like disc golf, or workout....I dunno.    
Had a much bigger turnout than expected, 175 people, busiest day in two years, and I'm in day 6.  Around noon I got to leave the job, and go to the grocery store to buy lunch materials to cook up for the staff.  Chose chili dogs, fast, easy, delicious, cheap.  So I took my sweet time at the store (lol everybody was bitching about how hungry they were when I left, but I still took my time and enjoyed it) got back, cooked up 40 hotdogs, and had to cook the chili without a can opener! What a pain in the ***, lucky I didn't wind up with stitches lol.  After I got this accomplished, I really got into the day, and started having fun!  Its been a long time since I felt the way I did at work today, while at work.  During my active using, I started to hate the place, because it took me away from my HIGHding place.  But after some well deserved rain, I could take in all the smells, colors, and overall atmosphere that I have been oblivious to due to the pills.  Just as predicted it turned out great.

Thank you all who posted to help me today, you saved my ***! Any time I felt down, I snuck off and would check for posts, and every time I checked, there was a new message waiting.  How awesome.

Had a good day, actually looking forward to tomorrow, not because of detox symptoms being easier, but because I'm enjoying myself again!  I know this feeling of happiness is short lived, but for the moment I'm going to live in it.

Steven

Today, I realized how much I miss ME, I'm such a silly person, and I've been destroying that with drugs.  As I progress further into my own recovery, I can see that I can not, will not, and refuse to do this without help.  Its not called recovery for no reason right?

[Dhelpme]

Steven, I just wanted you to know that even at this early stage in the game for you that you are a great inspiration for me!  6 days is great!!!  My plan was to ct in 2 weeks, on the holiday weekend, but I got a new job and had talked myself into waiting....but after reading your posts, I'm going to go for it as planned.  I'm scared to death, but I will post the entire time like you have been and I know I will too get thru this with everyone's help.  Please keep posting so I can continue to draw my nerve up from your success.  Congrats to you!  Seriously.  D

[ImDONENoMore]

Well done Steven!!!  SO proud of you - and you couldn't be more right when you talk about feeling like yourself again.  SO true - the smells, sounds, and colors are brighter.  Everything is better clean and you're seeing all of that now.  I'm VERY excited for you!!!  Hang in and keep going.  And remember, everyone will be here if you have another tough moment so you are NOT alone!!!  :)

[wherestheresetbutton]

Good morning folks!

Again, as predicted by you guys, I slept amazing last night, almost 7 hours.  Got up this morning, went for a run, took a shower and watched a little tv.  Now its time for work, and today, I'm not stressing it, I'm kind of looking forward to leaving the house for the day, and I'm getting paid to do it lol!

Dhelpme,
I'm glad my posts/journey through my home detox helped inspire you.  At 9 pm tonight I will be one week off opiates, and I can honestly say, I feel 100% better.  I'm living again, and am working towards my future already, and its great to be "back".  Its worth every ounce of discomfort, I didn't need the pills, they were "recreational", so I really did deserve to feel like crap.  But honestly, the worst part of my whole experience, was the lack of sleep, it plays tricks on your mind.  But after 4 days I got at least 4 hours every night and it was always nice wo wake up and realize that I had been sleeping!  Stick with the plan, you got a new job, a new chance at a new life.  Don't delay it! Yes, it *****, but it IS worth it!

[struggling_college_student]

Hey man sounds like you're doing great, I do want to caution you about feeling to confident tho.  My first time quitting I felt exactly like you do right now, that I was never going back to pills etc.  I was clean for 3 months and thought hey one pill cant hurt, boy was I wrong!  I was back into it harder than I ever was!  Anyways what Im trying to say Is keep up that great attitude and NEVER let your guard down, this addiction only needs that little moment of weakness and it'll snatch you right back into it!  

Well enough of that bad stuff, Im happy that you're feeling good, the exercise is crucial as well as video games lol!!!!

Jeff

[sealgaire]

I just started reading your journey over the last week and tomorrow I will be at day 7 myself.  I was taking up to 8 norco 5/325  a day as well as periods of vicodin and stronger norcs, but never more than about 8.  Been doing so for about 4 yrs.  Started with a lower back problem and constant headaches.  But ended up being an addiction for no reason.  I am feeling bad today, just no energy at all.  Got a headhache that wont go away too.  But in spite of all that I feel like I am over the hump from how I felt at day 2,3,4.  I know I have to beat this ****!  Good luck to you

[wherestheresetbutton]

I defiantly understand the overconfidence thing, as that is exactly how I started my whole relapse to begin with, oh just one won't hurt...

Here I am, 6 months later, getting clean, again.  I'm working on taking steps away from my addiction, I've made too many mistakes with my life, and have a limited set of options open to me, for a successful future.  And I know without a huge change, that won't happen, and I will end right back up where I am now.  

It's going to be a long road, but it's my life I'm fighting for, and I'm worth the fight!

[ImDONENoMore]

Good for you Steven!!!  You are DEFINITELY worth the fight.  :)