relapsed and disappointed

[kea_P]

hey medhelp family...ive been suffering from codiene addiction for the last 3 years...april the 21st i started my road to recovery. ive been clean for almost 25 days until last friday out of the blue i went and bought the pills.its been 4 days now since taking them.i feel terrible n very mad at my self.i have been going for N/A meetings but right now i just feel like a complete failure.please help me.i dont want to go back to that vicious cycle again.will i have withdrawals even if i only took them for 4 days?

[pillguy]

I don't want to belabor this point but most of those 8mg OTC codiene tablets have 325 mg of acetaminophen.  Twenty of those is 6,500mg.  30 pills is near 10,000mg.  The maximum daily dose id 4,000mg.  That max should probably be cut in half due to the risk of liver damage.  Taking 20 - 30 of these in one day is extremely dangerous.  

[tramuser99]

I know your pain all too well, I originally got clean in Jan from codiene/DHC through the help of a detox center. Unfortunately I relapsed dozens of times, usually no more than 3 or 4 days straight but even if it was only one day the regret and guilt the next day was so bad I couldn't leave the house. I worried about more physical withdrawals or if I just screwed up the healing my brain was going through. What kinda helped was to use the term slip instead of relapse because I still never intended to go back to my old ways, I was still in active recovery regardless of the mishap. Just be happy you got clean and don't tread too much on your slip, just remember that guilt it causes every time you have a weak moment.

[gnarly_1]

Hi.... well dont beat yourself up relapse can happen   we dont shoot our wounded  just pick your self up dust your self off and start over  just be glad it dident kill you or last for months or years...you seam to know what to do ...your going to meetings get a sponcer and work the steps with time you will loose the very desire to use...recovery is a process it does not happen over night just know you can do this keep posting here for support we all want to see you make it....Gnarly

[helplessangel]

I had a slip up on the same day as you and I got rid of them. It was hard hard hard. But keep posting because if I didn't, I wouldn't have had these wonderful people holding me accountable. I can't even imagine getting codeine otc. I'm glad that's not available in the U.S. How is it going for you today?

[pillguy]

Aren't these 8mg tablets full of Tylenol?

[kea_P]

i have recently opened a sexual harassment case against my boss n im very anxious about whats going to happen when i get bk to work i think thats the reason for my relapse. i have a therapist that is there 24/7 n a phycologist that im working with to deal with my other personal issues. i really want to get better im tired of this.im very emotional today i hope tomorrow il feel a bit better. thank u guys for responding

[kea_P]

i have recently opened a sexual harassment case against my boss n im very anxious about whats going to happen when i get bk to work i think thats the reason for my relapse. i have a therapist that is there 24/7 n a phycologist that im working with to deal with my other personal issues. i really want to get better im tired of this.im very emotional today i hope tomorrow il feel a bit better. thank u guys for responding

[kea_P]

i have been sleeping most of the day.i am buying over the counter n i would take 20-30 a day

[Pjtwenty]

Good on you for posting and being honest. We all have messed up and relapsed. Dont beat yourself up too much, just a little. ;)

Seriously though. Think about what triggered it. Did you have a fight with someone. Money troubles. Maybe just a certain feeling in the air that reminded you if using???  These are things that trigger me. Use this slip up to grow!  You'll be fine!  
I wouldn't think you'd have much WD. But like we always say everyone is different.

[spider6]

Hey friend....I had a serious codeine problem.  Are you still here?  How much you taking?

[Krissy_123]

Are you going in and buying the 8mg codiene ones that are behind the counter? That's a tough one because you don't need a script,or a contact. There is a chance you'll have w/d's,but really that's the least of the issue. Like jifmoc said you need a sponser. This site is great,but it's not the real world. You need someone out there you can count on ASAP when you feel the need to use. Don't be so hard on yourself,most of us relapse the first even second third fourth time around. DONT quit going to meetings because you feel ashamed,that's the worst thing you can do right now. They WILL understand!! You need to figure out why you went and bought the pills,something,some feeling must have triggered you to want to use after 25 days. What are your thoughts on this? How are feeling mentally? Or how were you feeling before the slip up,were having a really hard time with the detox?

[jifmoc]

Hi, Kea. Sorry bout your relapse. But psyched to hear you are going to meetings. A few things: we HAVE to cut all our contacts (dr, street etc.) if we don',t this is what happens. Block/delete phone #s.

Also, do you have a sponsor? Are you doing 90 mtgs in 90 days? Are you sharing in meetings? I know it all sounds barfy but I don't think I would have made it w/o doing the work. We have to be accountable to others and make ourselves known in the rooms. Addicts isolate. And we can even isolate in meetings.

As someone who is way more wise than me on here always says, don't worry about whether you'll have withdrawls now. This is a lifetime effort. Detox is a blip. We have to be concerned w/ our addict brains which are still alive and kicking when we remove the drugs.