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running out of pills-------SCARED!!!!!!!!!

scared to death right now... well some of you know that I am going to quit hydros after december, because i will have three months off. after october 31st, im off work till thanksgiving, money low so my pill supply is getting smaller everyday, and now im starting to panic... im not sure if i have enough to taper. its just my mind is crazy right now , im worried that im going to run out. what should i do... i can't think straight right now.. any advise.. plz don't be mean anyone i really can't handle it today.. good advise would be very helpful....
25 Responses
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672939 tn?1227297507
The less you think about withdraw, the easier it will be.  You did the right thing.  I had to give my pills over to the swirling waters of the toilet.  I felt much better though.  The withdraws aren't too bad.  I just made myself get up and do useful activities.  I have had a very bad addiction and used to take a LOT of pills.  I've gone through withdraw plenty of times.  You can do this.  Try praying and asking for strength and courage and ask for the Lords help to get you through this.  You'd be amazed of what the power of prayer and faith can do for you.  It does a lot for me....I struggle every day, but I don't give in.

your in my prayers.  God Bless you!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
When I said to do a task - it has to be reasonable task. For example you had a dream of doing something... like losing 10 lbs - concentrate on it and do it every day. Or collecting money for a trip - start right now. Something that would distract you of being depressed. Do it every day.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Seriously.... Did you try going to church? I am not being sarcastic in any way. You may find a relief from your depression. Maybe you already belong to a church, but if not - try old fashioned Catholic or Orthodox Christian, one of those gothic style beautiful buildings.... Go to a chapel, listen to the relaxing music, lighten a candle, sit down somewhere in a corner and cry for a while. You will feel sooooo much lighter and better! It works, just ask for relief. Depression is temporary; you just need some strength to wait until it goes away.
If you are lucky you can even find a good priest to talk to without being brainwashed.

Another thing on depression - I read that it happens when your brain is "lost", kind of does not know what to do. One of the remedies is to do a repetitive task at the same time every day. For example go around neighborhood the same way, around 2 miles. Force yourself every day...
Don't be scared - nothing worse will happen without the pills, try to stop thinking about it.
Helpful - 0
325131 tn?1227184781
I didn't read everyone posts so excuse me if I repeat. You say you have from Oct 31 off for some time. My advice is to stop now. Why not go thru the first two weeks now and enjoy some of your vacation. You will have a much better vacation with some time away from the pills. If you read post of people with even more than 4-5 days they really start talking like they are feeling somewhat better. Don't build the wds up to way more than what they are. Of course you will suffer quite a bit of discomfort the first few days but think of it as you are sick with the flu. I did wds from 6 years of vics it was chilly for a few days and body ache but with the help of the people on here I got threw it and got my life back.
Helpful - 0
617347 tn?1331293081
yeah, definitively you sound different...much better with yourself..and don't be afraid, lisa, the most scareful moment you had ahead ...it is already past.  :)


nothing is worse than the fear of jumping and leaving the pills behind . Once, twice or whatever the number of attempts if we keep jumping,  at least, we are conquering this fear and recovering a certain faith in ourselves , you see ?  


it is easy now  ( winking a petite )  telling you what  lays  ahead of you ....mmm, maybe  work & patience &  be determined & be positive and finally.. extra work on you  :)  ....  easier said than done and  blah, blah ?  ok, right, maybe it will not be easy because nothing is easier  ( a life of addiction is anything but easy, eh )  but it is better much better than living like before and depending of  some stupid and destructive substance, yeah..

and you can be prouddd.

good luck & stay here , ok? :
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You are sounding really good here today!!! And I am so happy for you....attitude is definitely a part of this whole process.....Nobody will mind you leaning a bit on this forum....its actually why its around .... and you wont find anybody here that doesnt relate to your problem .... you are not alone in this ....Keep posting with any fears or questions and you will find someone that can help you ----  and best of luck to you .....
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Good for you! You are lucky your husband is supportive. When I stopped Hydors I went into W/D in about 6 hours so if you dont have any yet than that is great. I took 7-9 10mg a day. Be proud of yourself for stopping and giving the pills to your husband that is a huge step.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
this morning i woke up, i feel better, after i posted yesterday i did not take any pills, when my husband got home i gave him the rest of the pills i had, i was crying and told him to get rid of them, i have to say it made me feel so good, when he gave me a big hug, and said not to worry he is here for me and very proud.  but before i posted yesterday i was thinking of how to get more, but you guys changed my mind.. i guess this is the first step right. its werid sitting here with no pills to take, i can say i am ready for this. so i will probley be leaning on you guys a lot for support. thank you so much for your input...so far no w/d's. when should i expect them to hit hard?
GOD BLESS..

love, lisa
Helpful - 0
401095 tn?1351391770
45 mg a day is 9 4 mg pills...not really much...may be easier to flushem and cold turkey it...this is the time to do it and 3 weeks is more than enuf time for that habit...i went back to work day 5 from a 100 mg habit..u r lucky to have this time off...think positive and use what is handed to u to help...2-3 weeks off to quit is a luxury most do not have..stock up on the aminos..exercsie daily...flush ur pills left over..and get started on it..of taper til u r out and then it may be close to time to go back to work and u may freak....now u have so much time to work with...lots of support here...but u have to believe in urself first...think of the reasons why u CAN do this and not all the resons why u CAN NOT
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I keep my Norco for a legitimate script for broken spine and seperated shoulders in a combo locked case and my wife hands them out to me daily.  There have been times when I used up scripts too soon and it is terrifying.  If you do decide to taper and have that option, I suggest you do the math and have someone control them for you...counting them if necessary.  You may think the withdrawl from tapering is bad but it is NOTHING compared to going full strength usage into cold-turkey.  

That being said, sometimes having no way to get it is the only way to do it.  Rational thinking almost never prevails in that situation.  I wish you the very best..
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I know what you are facing is a horrible thought, but you can do it. You have lots of support here and the W/D will go away. I wish I would have found this site when I was W/D but it helps me now on not going back to the pills. Counting pills is a endless cycle so be strong and break it. Best of luck.
Helpful - 0
230262 tn?1316645934
you can do this. I would honestly just try to go CT instead of prolonging things by tapering. All youre doing is dragging out the DREAD and PANIC of running out of your pills, and delaying the WD process. Youre gonna WD sooner or later no matter what, so why not get started asap and get it over with? I know alot of people think tapering is better but Im one of the few that think CT is best..  btw how old is your baby now? do you have more than one child? use them as your motivation and strength to quit. It can be very powerful. I remember one of the times I was detoxing off vics and almost slipped up and tried to get more pills. I even drove to the guys house but ended up making myself drive past it instead. I parked in a lot down the road from his house and just started crying and sobbing. I was shaking and so upset and in so much pain and kept thinking how just a few vics would make it all better for a little while. But then i made myself think of my little boys at home - what kind of mother was I?? out trying to score drugs while they were at home innocent as can be. I made myself turn my car around and go straight back home and kept going past the guys house who had the pills. It was a defining moment in my recovery being able to do that...
good luck to you and I hope you try your hardest to quit!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I know how hard it is.  I was just thinking that I had relapsed around the last election.  Id like to think that, whether or not we were sober we were doing the best we could and Im sure that you are now.  If you are running out of pills and are ready for this then now is the right time to quite.  WHy waste an0ther day on this filthy disease? I know its hard but you sound stronger than you give yourself credit for.  Also, I have also suffered from depression.  Im begininng to think you would be hard pressed to find even one person who didnt have depression towards the climax of their addiction.  I dont think there is ANYTHING wrong with take anti depressants and you should use those to get you through.  I wish you the best!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi Lisa -  Eagle is right --- If you cut down now and do some suffering, you will be so much better off when you do start into the real W/D process.  You sound like you may really be ready to do this --- it will not be painless -so prepare yourself ---- You can do it - -many others have.  If you begin to cut back now you will make it -- the best way to taper is to get someone to dole out the pills to you on a set schedule and by all means, make a specific 'quit date' and stick to it.  Everyone here wishes you the best -- Please keep posting no matter what you go through - there is real strength here.  
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Avatar universal
thankyou so much for your advise, im not crying now...thats a good thing...right
GOD BLESS every one of you....

love,
lisa
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Avatar universal
Hi Lisa,
I cant imagine anyone would be mean to you, addiction is a serious disease and my heart goes out to you right now.  How many do you take per day and how many do you have left?  Even if you lower the dosage to just one per day it may help the w/d symptoms a little.  Try to find some zanex (maybe spelled wrong) or muscle relaxers.  I know your panic, Ive been there.. it's terrible.  I have been so desperate Ive paid $5 to $7 per pill.  Just stay strong and tell your job you have a terrible flu if you cant get through the day.  God Bless.
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Avatar universal
right now 9 pills a day, three pills, 3 times a day, 5/500 i used to take 20 a day, but for the past to months i have been taking 9 pills
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Avatar universal
I have really bad depression too! I was diagnosed as clinicly depressed during my pregnancy. It was terrible and i thought i would never overcome it. I take an anti depressent as well. It's saved my life.......literally!!!!
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Avatar universal
*taking?
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Avatar universal
Check out the amino's to combat depression.....I agree that today may well be the day to quit....always easy to project it down the road .... and eay to rationalize and put it off .........Stop the madness .............
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I know, the depression is the absolute worse part!!!! I cried for day's. Crying is good for the soul though... It's weird because rght now it seems like the depression will last forever, but it doesn't! Everything get's better!
How many mg were you raking?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
one more thing, i also take cymbolta and klonpin one time a day for severe depression and anxiety. the last time i quit i lasted 26 days, but my depression was full force, so bad i thought about really bad things... i don't know if three weeks is long enough for me.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
it is soooo depressing to know, that my life is this way right now...how can you beat the depression and guilt. i was just thinking the last presidental race i was clean, not addicted to nothing. and now hydros run my life i don't. crying like crazy, because of the failure i have become
Helpful - 0
228936 tn?1249094248
Most addicts are going to quit towmorrow or next month. I've done it more than a hundred times. Maybe the time is now.
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