ADDICTION: SUBSTANCE ABUSE COMMUNITY
same old ****

same old ****

I just joined this forum.  My name is Tom, I really have nothing to hide.  I am a father of 6.  I just went in for surgery about a month ago.  Unfortunatly, I have become quite the percocet addict.   I go through 180 10/325 every 10 days and have been doing this for a couple of months.  I have another surgery this coming Monday for my left shoulder and the Doc gave me another script yesterday @ my pre-op( I haven't filled it).  To be honest, I'm sick of taking these fu--ing things, I have been strung out on many differrent things in my life time, I am 40.  I have been clean for 6 years until I jacked up my shoulder.  I am a ex pro bodybuilder, but I still compete in a lot of local shows.  I am an engineer, but off from work until May.  (time for the shoulders to heel up).  The Doc wanted to give me 40mg oxy's.  I am scared of those, but I guess the 5 10/325 I take @ once isn't any different?  So, does anyone know if kicking these things is anything like kicking Xanax?  I kicked those 6 years ago.  I am pretty disapointed with myself, why I thought I could take pain pills and get away with it is beyond me.  On the outside I look good, my wife has no idea nor my precious children (they are my life)  Well, starting tomorrow, I'm going to start slowing down.  I will have my wife take the pills to work and leave me with 6 for the day, and just cut it down 1 pill a day every day.  Anyone with suggestions, I could use the help.  I am pretty scared of how ****** and strange I'm going to feel.....I have never been through pain pills..
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992117_tn?1281209655
It's very commendable that you want to quit despite your pain management issues. Congratulations for making the decision!  I started taking 10/325 norco for 2 ankle surgeries, but the ankle had healed and been painless for a long time while I kept on truckin with the pills.  I know there are many on here who currently have pain issues that they manage without narcotics, and I'm sure they will be on here an post soon.

I think the plan for your wife to hold your pills is good, but I think you should tell her about the extent of your addiction.  If I read that right, you are planning to take only 6 each day, so you will be dropping from 18 pills to 6 right away?  If that's your plan, I think it's setting you up for failure.  Be honest with yourself: how many pills can you take to stave off withdrawals WITHOUT getting high?  Start with that number and ride it out for a few days (3 days is usually recommended, but listen to your body).  Then, drop one pill.  Stay on that dose for about 3 days until your body adjusts, and so on.  In order to taper successfully, you need to maintain your new dose for a few days while your body adjusts, or you might as well go cold turkey.  However, I would not recommend cold turkey at your dose and pain issues.  Tapering is hard, but if you can have your wife dole out your pills and you are committed to sticking to it, you can be successful.

Also, do you have multiple scripts from different doctors or how are you getting so many pills?  If you are serious about quitting, I would tell your doctor and he/she can help you get off of them after your post-surgery pain is gone.  The level of tylenol in the amount of pills you are taking is very toxic to your liver.  

You say you kicked xanax 6 years ago, and I'm not sure what your dose/length of use was, but most will tell you that they are MUCH harder to kick than opiates.  Unlike xanax, the symptoms of opiate withdrawal are not life-threatening- they just $uck.  If you kicked benzos, YOU CAN DO THIS.  You just need to be committed and honest with those around you.

Like you, no one knew about my addiction.  I have a successful professional life and my dear, loving husband had no idea because I hid it from him.  Part of my healing process was coming clean with him and letting go of the guilt and shame I harbored towards myself.  So, what I'm trying to say: don't be disappointed in yourself.  You are human and you made a mistake.  You ARE a strong person by confronting your problem and dealing with it.

Many will be here to help you through this.  Check out the Thomas Recipe on the health pages (upper right) for tips and supplements to help you through withdrawals, but if you choose to taper slowly enough, your withdrawals will be minimal.  Good luck, and keep posting :)

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I would try cutting a pill every few days instead of everyday.  Since youve only been using a few months its shouldnt be THAT bad.  Stop now before this it drags on for years.

Good Luck!
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Avatar_m_tn
YEAH.. don't let it drag on for years and years... quit now! I tapered from 20+ by dropping on a day and it was pretty hard.
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Avatar_m_tn
If i had a legit prescript or the money... I would have removed one a day every three or five days... that's the way to go.

Unless you wanna knuckle up and go CT... Good luck bro, you seem to have it under control!
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Avatar_f_tn
Do not take the 40's thyeyll set you up to take
more because it's just one pil. Just cut down slowly. I starred to take more when I got my hands on 30's my tolerance jumped and skyrocketed to wanting more. Listen to me I've been there. At the same time your liver can't take the beating either. You can do it!!
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you for the support, well I told my wife my concerns last night.  I think she is in denial more than me.  She says, "you are in a lot of pain and you just had your shoulder replaced and are going to have the other one replaced on monday"  I told her that it isn't ok to have two different doctors giving me pain medication and that what I am doing is illegal.  Her answer was for me to get through the next surgery and if I felt like going through a detox program then so be it, she doesn't want to see me in pain.  I explained to her that if by 9:00 am I don't pop 3 pills I get bad stomach cramps and just feel over all like ****.  Of course she loves me and dosen't want me to go through anything.  The good thing is I am finacialy blessed and what ever it takes I have the means to cover the cost of anything that I may need to help make this a painless as possible.  I took your advice and had her leave me 16 pills, I cut down to 16 yesterday and went to bed earlier than normal than normal.....does anyone on here see ambian as a problem to help with sleep?  I have a script for that as well......I have had insomnia my entire life and the ambian helps with that.  I feel ok today, more mental than anything.just depressed.....I keep beating myself up.  I know it doesn't help, but I just feel so stupid.  The Xanax I used to take was 14mg a day for 5 years, and let me tell you.......I thought I was going crazy and would at that time preffered to have been dead.  It was very difficult to kick, I was Hospitalized for ten days because of seizures associated with the withdrawals.   I will continue to keep you posted on my prgress.......and I will let you know what my doctor has to say.  I plan to tell him today that I have been doubling up and that now I feel like I have a problem.  He has been my family doctor for 20 years...I need to let my ortho doctor know as well.      Again thank you so much for the input.  I'm so thankfull to have a place like this to get some support.  Tom
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Good on you that you spoke to your wife.. I also had my shoulder replaced 4 months ago.. it was a tremendous help being honest with my surgeon and regular Dr. They were very proud of me that I came forward and worked very closely with me on my intake and quit.. I wish you well with the surgery. lesa
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Avatar_m_tn
No no DO NOT let him get you on Oxy's !!  That battle is gruelling and will affect your loving family.  I was able to get away from the Perc's, Vic's, Loratabs but they typically like all this are just a stepping stone to the life altering OC's.  Work down my friend.  Stay away from Oxy .... makes one's life change for the worse.

Take care
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Avatar_f_tn
I love your name "oxymoron",very clever.
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi, just a response to the ambien, I took it for 3 months as I was getting clean and it did the trick for sleeping,  I found that going through wds you do not sleep well and the ambien did wonders, this can be addicting too, be careful.  I only did a 3 month round and have never taken anymore.  You will get there, it takes time.  There are so many people who can not take narcotics for pain, and you can be one of them.  Good luck to you.
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Avatar_f_tn
I was able to drop to 12 pills on the first day scheduled for 16.  Yesterday I only used 7 1/2 pills, but woke up @ 3:00 am going through it pretty bad.  By 4:00am I just broke down and took 1 pill and was able to go back to sleep around 6 for about an hour.  My plan is to try to stay @ 7 1/2 today and make that work for a couple of days.  Then my plan is to drop to 6 pills on Moday.  Monday is also the day I have my second surgery.  My script is for 15 a day.  I haven't had the opportunity to sit down with my doctors yet.  I plan to do that on tuesday.  I figure if I can get down to 5 pills a day for a week or so after surgery, it should make life easier.  I feel pretty good going from 18 pills a day for 2 months to just 7 1/2 the first week.  Am I wrong for feeling this way?  I know that 7 is still a lot.  I have been loading up on vitamins, and I have been taking a supplement called liver fix by Myogenics.  Liver fix works well to detox the liver, I used to use it when I was on anabolics. Well, I am Thankfull that I have a place like this to just ramble and share my progress....it is good therapy.
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Avatar_f_tn
I made it through yesterday with 8.  Not the 7 1/2 I had hoped for.  The good news is I slept through the night.  I woke as usual about 7am.  Of course when I woke up the withdrawls started in fairly quick.  I haven't began to tackle the first dosage of the day witch used to be 40mg(4 pills).  I have dropped it to 30mg, but find myself taking that fourth pill whithin an hour.  This morning I took the 3 pills shortly after waking, but I'm not going to take the fourth pill until noon.......I am feeling better about this process.  I haven't had anyone give feedback in a couple of days.  I am just wondering what some of you think about the way I am approaching this.  Does it sound reasonable?  I feel like I am making good progress.......but I would like some feedback.    I would like to be able to give others advice, but I don't feel I'm the right person to do so.   Anyhow anyone who does rread this post have a blessed day today......and if anyone needs someone to talk to, feel free to shoot me an e-mail to lastchance@cyber-rights.net.  Take care and God Bless.  Tom
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Avatar_m_tn
Your doing great, I have been on this site for a while and found that the replies come in at first then they stop. Keep making new different posts, I guess people get bored of the same post. Everytime you post you get talked to then it stops, so you got to start alot of new ones to keep replies coming in. Good luck you can make it!
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Avatar_m_tn
Father...

I tapered as well and exercised to get me through my wds.  Tapering also allowed me to work, conduct meetings and take the required business trips.  You're on the right path.  Just be aware of your progress after your surgery.  I also had surgery after 1.5 years of being off meds and used the minimal amount that I needed before I trashed the rest.

Take Care
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Avatar_f_tn
I think that you are doing your best. My cousin and a lot of my friends have been through this (my Drug of choice was actually cocaine). Yes the xanax is harder to get off of than a lot of the pills. OXY is synthetic HEROIN so i would strongly advise against that move and also a lot harder to get off of then the perks. I have to tell you that the fact that you have a family can become your fall back. My boyfriend of 2 years' brother was an oxy addict and getting him self out of the mind set that he wanted to get high and having his family support him is one of the biggest reasons he is still sober. I think that the tappering that you are doing so far is great and you should keep up with the progress altho it will be hard out of surgery. Stay strong and I think your wife loves you very much but may not be well informed of exactly what addiction is you may not want to scare her but you might want to give her information about your drug history and tell her the extent of really what is going on with you and inside your head. Good luck with your surgery and remember pain ***** but keeping your family and getting clean is the goal.
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Avatar_f_tn
Today was surgery.  I am home .  So far today Ihave takin 6 pills.  I think that is all i will need.  Taper, Taper, Taper.  I hope to only carry this on for another 3  weeks tops.  God Bless and thank you!
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