Aa
setting up for failure?
I'm still feeling quite anxious, but at least I am home without any way of getting pills. And yes I thought about it today. But I didn't make any phone calls or search for any. Probably just gonna take a clonidine and call it good. I haven't had to take one in awhile. Is seriously thinking about scoring some oxy normal or am I headed for failure?
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Thank you for the insight and support. I was feeling just so blah yesterday Thank God I didn't make a stupid decision. I am feeling a little better today, more positive. I did journal last nite and thought about all the negative things that happened because of my addiction. I lost the trust of my husband, I had an affair (completely out of character and embarrassing to admit), lost some awesome friends to keep my secret from them, couldn't play with my kids the way I used to, quit working out...... Thank you for suggesting I do that...made a big difference to me!!!
I don't think you are setting yourself up for failure unless you were to try and get some. I have constant thoughts of getting some... Will I? Heck NO!! When I start having those thoughts I snap back to reality and go get my mind busy. I think of why I quit and why my sobriety is so important to me. Write a list of all of the reasons you quit and when you have those thoughts look at the list and remember what they did to you and are doing to you now. You don't ever wan to have to go through all of this again right? You are doing great honey keep your head up it will get better :) great job for posting!!
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Enlist all the support you can get Brandi. You're at a vulnerable spot in your recovery. Aftercare, meetings, whatever you can find for support. And when you feel like scoring, do what you just did...post. You did good posting. If you have an aftercare program, call someone on your call list and talk to them. Take action. By posting just now you got out of the crave and into doing what you need to do to stay clean. You still have that willingness. That's half the battle! Good for you. :-)