should i just cold turkey now?

[Mandapanda17]

i'm lost. I think I may just want to do it tomorrow. I already feel like I'm done, and honestly I feel pretty bad already. I know it'll get worse if I cold turkey. I have sat and sun and mon off and then I work tues wed thurs and then I have 10 days off after that. am I crazy for thinking I could be able to go to work on days 4,5,6??? I just don't want to live like this anymore. I've taken 6 norcos today. 60 mgs of hydro.. do you think I should just do it?! My plan was to go cold turkey on august 24th, but this anticipation is killing me!!! talk to you all soon and thanks for listening.

[Niceguy21]

yea I got about 2months until 30.....but i've heard thats still young! LOL I keep telling myself that anyway. Anyway i guess different people have different rock bottoms, to me rock bottom is just being sick of living this way. not even that bad of a lifestyle,full time job, I even hang out with friends once in a while still, have some small hobbies, etc. not too bad of a life I guess.. I mean it could be a lot worse! but it just seems like it could be so much better too. especially socially. I dont realy enjoy doing anything with anybody like I used to, unless the stars are all aligned and it just so happens that I have a full stomach and slept perfect 8 hours and most importantly havnt had my daily quota of pills yet and can take my next dose and it kicks in right at the exact time I'm hanging out with whomever. LOL it is such a remote chance anymore because I have a mental block on taking 4.5 pills or more in a day. I just wont go over that amount not in a million years.. So if I've already had my quota for the day, I wont take any more, which means there aint not way I'm doing ANYTHING unless i can take a few just prior! so, THAT *****!!!!! And I dont know how I can ever gather that back becase i've neve been much of a social person anyway. but i'm not social now either so WTF am I doing?? LOL

[Mandapanda17]

I'm almost 30 also. 6 months away! yipee :) Day 3 is going ok for me. A little worried about work tomorrow, but I'll do it. I have to. Don't feel like you wasted your 20s. shoot, I guess I wasted about 1/2 of mine :) We'll be ok, I'm so glad you're tapering and going for it! did you ever get my message I sent you? Look in your inbox on your page. This things confusing at first, but gets easier!! I'm glad you still have all the personal stuff in place while deciding to quit. for some people it takes losing it all to get them to stop. thankfully all my stuff is still in place too. :) hope you have a good evening, hope to hear from you soon! I'll keep you posted, I may go to sleep early this evening. ttys!!

[Niceguy21]

hey there!!! Just wanted to check back in and say good job!! I'm feeling pretty good today.....but I havnt CT yet only a barely taper.....but you have inspired me to do this. I am planning some time off work and I want to do this. I wish you good luck with day 3 now late! and you said your typing is a little off, thats another thing that i've noticed like when I get to 24 hours is like my coordination is slightly off...like my nerves are all working  a little bit too good or something....almost can be described as shakey hands but not really shaking. I dont know, its weird. Jumpieness maybe? Well I am super happy that another person (you) have been at my same amount, 4-6 Norco per day and have been able to get off it. Only thing is that I have been at it a few years longer, like 7 years but you said like 5 years right? So I'm thinking thats about the same....if I can ask how old you are, I am almost 30....are you anywhere near my age? you dont have to say . another thing that is kinda depressing is that I pretty much feel that I have killed near a whole decade "20s" of my life.....but then I try to dismiss those thoughts because it hasnt been a total waste, I mean I have kept a good job, still have good family and friends, no enemies, no debts, a decent vehicle, etc. I just still sometimes feel like i've wasted so much time of my life!! Sometimes cant help but to think that, then I inevitably go try and numb myself you know how and for a brief few minutes I dont feel the guilt!! Oh gosh what a viscous cycle.

[Mandapanda17]

thank you!! I think my mindset has saved my life :) no joke... I'll keep you posted for sure!!!

[broknbck]

good job panda!
you have a great mindset!
keep us posted and have a great day.

[Mandapanda17]

thank you all so much!!!! I can't believe I'm even on this computer at day 3. like I said my typing is a little screwy, but I'm ok! gotta get through 3 days of working and then 10 days off. i'm excited for that, by the time I go back to work after that I'll be at...19 days!!! Hopefully I'll be feeling much better by then. I know this is going to be hard, but i'm sticking with it and you all have helped soooooo much!!!! :) much love and thanks!! :)

[Mandapanda17]

I know you can do this too. i'm on day3 now...still truckin along. really hasn't been as bad as I expected it to be!! My typing seems to have gotten a little worse..LOL.. but proud of you too for tapering so far!!! thats awesome, I know you can do this. you'll feel crappy for at least a few days, but then hopefully you'll start feeling better. the next three days will be a test for me, with the working and all, I can do this, and I have to this for myself and my family. you can also PM anytime. If you go to my page find the spot where it says 'send message' and send me a message anytime you want :) good luck with today and wish me luck too!!! day 3 s*cks sometimes from what I've heard... but I'm still okay :)

[eringobragh]

awesome job! i hope your feeling a little better in the morning!
Good night!

[10356]

Hi Manda I'm so proud of you and so happy for you... You are almost over the worst of the physical part and you did so well.. Your preparation and your attitude with the determination you showed through your taper has brought you far.. Keep your eye on the goal :)) lesa

[Niceguy21]

I'm going to be going to bed soon....just wanted to say goodnight. Hope you are doing ok!! If you are still up and write a message I might see it as I will check it quickly into the night. But as the darkness comes and I am comfortably tucked into bed, I will use my laptop to check in. Then I will be off to bed on a windy night in a calm comfortable room! Ohhh so cozy. Ok I'm looking forward to that because its what I LIKE to do! is goto bed! :-) Update me when you get a chance....no matter what you have to say SAY IT!! I wanna hear it all. the good and the bad. I'm gonna try not to take my dose first thing in the morning tomorrow like I always do.....wait as long as I can!!!!! and then take another tapered dose. So sometime tomorrow I will have only had 1.5 pills in the last 24 hours. LOL every little bit counts.

[SFgirll853]

I have been out of touch for 2 weeks but was THRILLED to read your updates!!!  You can do this and it will get better!  I took care of both of my kids all day every day through detox and you can do this!  My thoughts are with you.  Go NOR CAL!!  xoxo

[Skiddy696]

U can do it girl!!!!!! I started my taper today only took 55mg ;) I'm exited to quit again

[worried878]

i am so happy u r hanging tough...often we are way more afraid than need be...i think u will stick around and help the forum with newbies...gosh ...help is needed...so many come on, get clean and never to be heard from...u will make it and u r an inspiration to the new people here (:

[Jimmy1975]

Did you think about maybe tapering down to about half off what your taking for a few days then you have the 10 days Manda ? Maybe that would make it a little better on you  . But whatever you decide remember we are here for you and im sure someone will be here for you 24/7 to help you threw . I know I will be here whenever im home or at a PC at work . Take care and stay strong   ...... Jim

[Niceguy21]

To Mandapanda17, not sure if you are always posting under this topic, but wanted to check in on you. Its been a few hours. Please write and say how you are doing. I want to try and be consistent and check in on you (actually its so I can ramble on about myself) so anyway hope you are doing ok. I'll be around here tonight but wont be able to check back in until tomorrow after work, > 4pm or later. So post back and i'll reply. No matter what, even if you have something negative to say about the experience. Up to now you've been just full of inspiration  for me though. So yea. Anyway, I took my last pills for the day today at 2pm. Took 4pills total today. Normally would have been 4.5 pills but as I took my last dose I thought about this board and said screw it, I'm gonna taper. So instead of taking two, I took 1.5 at last. Every litle bit counts. If I only taper today, I'm gonna do it! So I did. Then instead of worry about that tiny little last amount that I didnt take, I went to the gym instead. Havnt excercised in any way for like ever. But now somehow I feel better....Been sittin around trying to be as still as possible to enjoy the norco buzz for like 7 years now and gaining weight and eating fast food and not excercising at all, but now if I keep this up for a week or so I could totally be in the olympics, I just know I could!! :-)

[GoingToMakeIt]

I see you are still surviving the storm. Good for you. You will be through this really soon.
Keep posting.

[Mandapanda17]

thanks :) I'm sorry you have to go through this too. it'll all be worth it soon I'm sure :) ttys!

-Manda

[Vicotram]

Glad your going for it. I'm there with you. Be Well Steve

[Mandapanda17]

you're not bothering me.. LOL :) We're here to help. You'll know when you're ready, and then you'll do it. no mater what!! I feel like ****, but hopefully it'll be better soon. And honestly I really don't feel as bad as I expected I was going to. I know I'm not out of the woods yet...48-72 can be a b*tc* too...so we'll see how I do. I know I'm not taking pills anymore no matter what. I bet if you took a 30 day vacation, you'd feel well enough to enjoy your vacation after about 7-10 days. do things you like to do, and it would make you feel better. next weekend we're doing some fun stuff, going to a football game, and the beach, hopefully it'll make me feel better and normal again. i'll be..8 days clean when we go to the game next weekend. put your game face on...LOL :) See, at least I'm laughing and I'm not even quite 48 hours into this! I wish you the very best of luck, stay on this forum, it really did finally make me realize I was ready, and make a plan of action!!!! :) ttys.

[Niceguy21]

Congrats Now is a good time to quit!! You know why cuzz you can watch the olympics! And they are also very inspriing. i mea for me its like it makes me want to be better and excercise and stuff...instead of just sitting around looking forward to my next couple ten mg norcos and then relaxing and waiting for the buzz.  but the buzz hardly ever comes anymore anyway...i read that you made it 70days! that is so awesome. this time you dnot even need to count the days! Its just a done deal. Every day is day 1million for you! Here is something that keeps messing me up, like I'll make it almost to a full day, right at about 24hours is like when I give in and take a full dose....I end up not tapering because the way i feel at 24hours is like theres no way taking a tapered amount would help so I always end up right back to my full amount...and then I get about a 10minute or less good feeling, and then its all downhill from there. So just remember that even a small amount aint gonna help you right now...dont let that cause you to relapse. You sound way stronger then me though....I cant even make it past a day. And thats including 8hours of sleeping. gosh this is hard. sometimes I honestly wonder if even if I had 30days off of work if i would even try to quit..cuz I keep just saying "next weekend" or "next month" or "next new years" I even have taken so many vacations over the years and still never quit. I constantly think about qutting but on vacaiton I want to "feel good" so it never ends up happening! I read what you said about laughing too...I know hwo that is...the laughing feels so good, and real!! Music sounds so much better too...like it thesongs that you listen to atually have power to change your mood wherase before when on the pills its like nothing was good. I could go on forever. Hope I'm not bothering you.

[Mandapanda17]

I am so happy to have inspired someone already :) I know you can do this too. I sent you a PM too. I used to take 15-20 a day at some points. little yellow evil pills.. I just got to the point where I really believed they were making me feel worse, not better. I didn't like who I was on the pills anymore at ALL. I'm sick, but I'll make it. the stuff in the Thomas Recipe really helps!! I wish I had a bathtub, thats been the worst part for me, only having a shower. I'll make it though.. I have to work tues-thurs. so that'll be an interesting test for me :) hope you're doing good, and if you don't hear from me for a few hours it bcuz I hopefully fell asleep! :) good luck to you and me!!! we can do it. It already sounds like you really want to quit. the motivation REALLY helps a lot. :)

[Niceguy21]

hello, I think there are multiple places on this site to put messages....so I will write here too. anyway i jsut wanted to say that this is inspiring me. i mean i have been on the same amount as you but for 7 years now...pretty consistent with my amount i take two 10mg norco in the morning and 2 or 2.5 in the evening. it is a relatively small amount but for so many years is why i cant stop....7 years my brain has expected this each day no matter what. taking a couple norco is like water and air for me. sad I hate this. i want to do somethin.. this morning i was at about 15hours and eventually took my stupid norco. stupid little yellow jerks!  :-(

[Mandapanda17]

thanks so much you guys :) I'm still doing okay. better than I expected that I would be, I mean I feel pretty bad. I'm going to go get some bananas today for sure. that was my biggest problem last night! I'm almost at 40 hours, so pretty proud so far!!! thanks so much everyone and I'll try to get back on here later :) couldn't have done this without you all!!!

[GoingToMakeIt]

Manda, you are doing so great. I really am proud of you jumping in head first. You will be so thankful you did this. Take hot baths with lots of Epsom salts. Then wrap you legs in ace bandages. I have heard that helps the rls. Bananas up the potassium and taking magnesium and calcium will help too. Going for brisk walks does wonders for the whole detox, rls thing. Lots of water, too. Flush this junk out of you.