so scared....

ok...its hard to even write this but i dont know what to do. ive been addicted to painkillers since i was 15 yrs old. im 25 now and relapsed 6 months ago again on vicodoin, dilaudid, & ativan. (i take the ativan for my anxiety attacks when i withdrawal, but take more than i should somedays) im withdrawing now w/ support from my parents & boyfriend. ive let my family down and the guilt is eating away at me. i told them before id rather be dead than have to put them through this over and over again like i have. so thats why im finally trying to get clean. but my biggest problem is i think i may be pregnant even though doctors have diagnosed me with endometriosis in the past. i am so scared right now i cant even give up the courage to tell anyone i may be pregnant. ive already let everyone down by relapsing and now that i think of bring an innocent child into this world like this, it makes me even more scared and upset. im a nervous wreck and i can't sleep. the ativan doesn't even seem to help at times. i never thought i could get pregnant. i cant bring a little baby into this world knowing my addiction could hurt him/her. if i am pregnant its not just about me now. i feel so lost and i dont know where to turn. if i could get any advice at all id really appreciate it. thank you.

[Ann2497]

How many days are you into your detox?  Were you using any birth control?  Why don't you take a pregnancy test to find out if you are pregnant?  Sorry for the questions but I think if you resolve whether you are pregnant or not you will feel much better and you will not be as much of a nervous wreck.

[Ann2497]

by the way, as you know, you can still get pregnant if you have endometriosis.  I have it and have two children.

[jojo10695]

im on my 3rd day now...im going to get a pregnancy test tomorrow to find out and no i havent been on any birth control for a while. ive went all these years not getting pregnant though. i just dont know what to expect. if it comes up positive could the baby be at risk with all the pills ive been taking & the withdrawls? like birth defects?:( thats what im afraid of.............

[tomskat]

Hi there...have you talkd to your docor about this? You're naking the right decision by quitting.Personally,I would discuss your concerns with your doctor.This will give peace of mind and allow you to start your recovery process.

[littlebit667]

If you are pregnant you definitely need to see your Dr. as soon as possible.  They can help you detox in a safe manner that will help you and the baby.  There are many here that have been in the same place and managed to have healthy babies working with the Dr. to ensure a good result.  I hope you can see one soon.  I promise it will work out if you have the courage to tell them.  It may be a good thing in the long run.  If you are pregnant, it will give you a lot of added incentive to get clean this time.  I hope everything goes well hon.  You are in my thoughts.

[Ann2497]

After you  take the test and if you are pregnant the first thing I would do is schedule an appt with an OB/GYN and be honest with them about everything.  They have probably seen/heard it all.  Let us know what happens.  Good luck.

[Kendraerika]

My ob says pain meds are safe. I'm pregant and withdrawing. I'm coming up on 47 hours. I worry as well, but I kno I am doing what is best for my baby. I think it's best to get off as soon as you can, but work with an ob. If anything they can calm your fears. Keep coming back here and do NOT goole this because that doesn't help. I do kno that my neice is almost a year and my sis was on pain med the entire pregnancy. Listen to ann... She has been wonderful in. the week I've been coming here, as have the rest. Good luck and let us kno how it goes, pregnant our not.