son addited relaspts

my son 22 years of age about 1 year ago today my son had a alcohol problem and drugs i tired everything to help him i would not let him live at home i have a16 year old there and i couldnt tolerate that well i received aphone call my son crying out for help THANK GOD FOR THAT he also was suicidal well i took him to the hospital they kept him there was no where for him to go he ended up at the hope house after that he went to a half way house in which he started to work he also has a son 2years old he was paying his childsupport doing good i would gice him money and tried to help him in which i dint mind because he was straight 8months clean i was happy to have my son back well not long after that he lost his job layed off at the half way hous he wasnt able to pay rent i did not have the money or i would of helped him i couldnt so one thing after another i felt it he relaspsed he wouldnt tell me he told his mother he quit paying child support i told him he needs to take care of his child evne if he had to work at mcdnalds and give him 20 dollars or something well any how i dint know how bad my son got but he dont live at home he called his mother on mothers day and told her he is now doing herior no injecting it  this broke my heart but he told his mother dont tell dad well when i found out i called him and said i will help him but he haves to want it he saids hes too far gone one of his friends just died from herion  he was 24 i told him im there just call me as aparent all i want to do is cry this braks my heart but i thought when he was on crack and cok it was bad but herion is worst he depend on it i know there not much i can do he dont live at home and people tell you tough love ive done that he has no insurance and im trying to find him help i even thought of having him locekd up but that might even kill him i dont know all iknow i dont want my son to die and im afraid that im going to have that if he dont get help i hope maybe someone has an aswer here  i hope i can save my son god help me;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

[Ella789]

Hang on here awhile, others will come who have been where your son is now.  
All I know to tell you is that he will have to want help first of all.  No one can do it for him,  he knows the dangers, from the loss of his friend.  Sometimes, there is nothing we can do but give it time and see if he gets to the bottom, which is nowhere to turn and no way out.  He will need to see this and sometimes it is a long time comming.   He is a grown man, your hands are tied as to how much you can help him.   You sound loaded down with grief and pain, I feel it in your post.  You can not blame yourselves for your sons' condition so please don't do that!
Hugs and prayers

Ella

[refusingbondage]

I am sorry you have such troubles.  Man there is another post from a parent on here Ive been commenting on today and it makes me feel so bad for the misery we as addicts might have put our loved ones through.  All you can do is keep offering help.  He needs to know its never to late and anyone, no matter how far gone they are can do this if they want it bad enough.  I can only send prayers to you and hope that he hits his own bottom and seeks help.  He did it once, he can do it again.  Try try try try.  

[help534]

TAHNK YOU SO MUCH its means alot alot of people told me the same thing ive talked to acouple of people recovered  they said he has to want it i know that he has to help him self i will never give up keep me in your prayers iwill keep you all posted god bless

[LateAugust]

Hi hon,  I am the mom of a 22 yr old hard core oxy addict.  I have read your post a few times,  are you his step-mother?  not that you love him any less,  I am just trying to really follow what you wrote, and I am obviously a bit confused.

The most important decision you can make for yourself, your family and your sanity is what are you willing to do to help your son?   I have attended Al-Anon for almost 2 yrs now   and we all have different approaches in how to help those we love.  The mantra of "let them hit bottom"   is misleading....  what is considered "bottom" for your son may be different than my daughter's "bottom"   we are all individuals  and no one is the same,  nor can "sayings" mean the same for everyone.

I made the decision,  and this was MY decision, that I would do everything in my being to save my daughter's life and would not lose her to drugs.    It has been two years of hell,  I will be honest with you,  I had no clue of the true destruction of drug addiction  and how it would impact every aspect of my daughter's life  and mine as well.   For every stranger that has told  me I was an enabler  or co-dependent,  I could not  have cared less .......  all I wanted was my daughter to be whole and healthy  and only I truly knew what I was doing to help her into sobriety.   And in my gut,  as her mother, I knew she was at rock bottom.  Most parents say they will give their life for their child.  Not hollow words  I would have given mine for hers in a nano second......  therefore I would not   to the best of my ability, lose her life to drugs.    She is into 4 months clean now......  I have hope  and no regrets of what my role was in her sobriety.

Your son is not thinking rationally right now....  and it sounds as tho monies is a problem....  you can help him by checking into any and all county, city and state programs avaiable..    your local AA/NA  groups      for you Al-Anon   is a great resource  you will be amazed at the unconditional support you will receive from them.

Keep loving him........it is absolutely okay and natural to   hate the addiction.    I hate my daughter's addiction more than I thought I was capable of feeling such a horid emotion,  and her actions when she was active in addiction....  but forever and always I love her.  She was not and is not her addiction, and it's disgusting behaviour,   that is not my real daughter.  

Good luck, dear,   if I can help you in anyway please let me know.  I am so sorry for the pain you and your son are going thru now.......   but with help there is hope.