spinning again

i have been on and off of crack for awhile now and right now i am off.  i have a real problem with the idea of sponsorship in the aa/na meetings.  am i in denial?  i just feel that i can bring my life back into control if I do what i feel is necessary for me to maintain sobriety one day at a time.  i have a sponsor now and have had her for about 6 weeks, before that i was really doing the do...going to the meetings and sharing when i felt it necessary, had everything pretty much in focus, job, home, meetings...now i feel pressured to do more and more.  it makes me feel anxious and i really feel that i am giving all i can to the meetings right now, with work and home stuff i am TIRED...and some days i just need to stay home.  am i doing this right?  thanks

[worried878]

i go to meetings but do not have a sponsor...u do not have to have one...the programs were built in a way that you can do the whole nine yards or take and use what u need...if u r into deep and burning urself out then i would cut down some and be comfortable...we have to live life as well and staying clean and aftercare is a part for me but not my life..i also work and spend time with family and friends,, plus like my down time as well...good luck and dont burn urself out or u may quit the program all together

[mtgoat911]

that is not how 12step programs work, sorry to be the one to tell you that worried, i do care about you
crack is one of those drugs that can mentally drive you crazy before you relaspe
working the steps is your biggest defense agaisnt that insanity
idjit, do me a favor
google na basic text online
read a chapter or two
send me a message, and let me know what you think
and please stick around, this site can be a big help
not a substitute for the steps, but helpful
xo

[tammyk_40]

If you take mtgoats suggestion and google na basic text please read How it Works. You have a sponsor now, do everything she tells you. This is your life youre trying to save! Put as much energy into the program as you did when you were chasing that high. I know from experience, youre whole attitude will change as you become spiritually fulfilled. Get involved, it becomes a whole new "high".

[worried878]

mine is a meeting and many there do not work the steps..some do..most do not have sponsors and actually it is an AA group..works for us and we look forward to seeing each other each week...we focus more on how our week went and any obstacles..no one ever asked me if i completed my steps yet..maybe we are weird but it has worked for me for almost a year now

[worried878]

and we never refer to it as "12 step meeting"   just our NA/AA meeting as we are mixed..some both some just one of the 2/alcohol or narcotics..i sware it has rarely been brought up...but we support each other and that is the main thing i think...we could get busted by the AA/NA police i guess for not following the rules!  LOL

[gizzy32]

Crack is a MONSTER to beat and without some type help such as your doing with N/A relapse will almost certainly happen. The short time i was in N/A, there was a lady there that was using crack for years, and was having her 1 year clean party when i came to that group. She had a sponsor, went to meetings non stop and worked her recovery like nobody ive ever seen and she is still clean today. N/A is NOT the only way to get clean though and whatever works for us is the right way. I think you do need this sponsor and as much help  you can get right now, even days u feel burned out, force yourself, you know how strong the mental part of crack and that';s why you need as much support as you can get now.  It's key that as soon as you feel those dumb thoughts enter your head about using to talk about it right away so those cravings that can't be beat don't grow. Congrats on working your recovery and getting clean, please stay that way. Feel free to send me a pm anytime, i battled cocaine for 5 years and am now clean:) it's so tough at first, but i promise it gets so so much better. Best of luck to ya

[gizzy32]

p.s. how long have you been off it now?

[mtgoat911]

a sponsor is someone you trust to guide you through the steps
when i got clean i realized that i needed follow suggestions and work the program like my life depended on it
maybe my deperation pused me forward
i was willing to get a sponsor and work the steps
not just read them
i needed someone to explain to me how the program worked
remember , i pullede my butt out of a homeless shelter.......i do believe that my bottom
had alot to do with how willing i was to follow suggestion
all i can say to the new person is this
goto 90 meetings in 90 days
get a sponsor
work the steps
i would be dead if it wasnt for these 3 suggestion
good luck to you
crack is a monstor, i hate crack but for some reason i still did it
that driving force to feel better, made me do drugs i did not even care for
i also wanted to say thank you to those who have posted on this thread
i have been attending my homegroup once a week, thats it
and i am starting to miss the na fellowship, my area has just started another meeting with childcare, so now i will be going to 2 meetings a week
it truly makes a difference for me
xo