still a litttle shaky

[margo505]

I have been off oxy about 17 days. Overall I feel really good most of the time. Amazing the difference...however I am still feeling kinda weird/squirelly sometimes. It just comes on for a little while then fades away. My question is how long will that go on? I am doing a cleansing regimen right now and think that may be part of it. Any thoughts out there?

[chico1969]

Hi, I just wanted to comment on your description of the wd symptoms you were having and they were bang on - most people haven't mentioned the food smells and skin sensitivity - but I have definately felt those too!  Not to mention the fact that I wanted to jump right out of my own skin.  What a terrible feeling that was.  Wow, I can't belive how I could ever consider going back to this crappy drug ever again - but I know that I may be tempted.  because every demon has that ability.  and this stuff is pure evil.

chris, good luch with your detox.  For me the first two days/nights were the hardest.  I was actually able to leave the house for a short walk with my boyfriend on the third day.  It's getting better day by day - of course it's different for everyone, but just remember it DOES GET BETTER and you will come back to the land of the living once again.

Best of luck to you All
\
chico

[margo505]

Hey good luck on your journeh to hell. The good news is you get a ticket back. There is freedom on the other side. Did anyone tell you to check out the amino acid protocol and thomas recipe on this site? I used parts of both of them and tylenol pm along with clonidine prescribed by my dr for withdrawals. Its a blood pressure medicine thats used for wd. I think you have to be careful with it because it does affect bp. I think the aminos helped some with anxiety and the clonidine helped a little to take some of the edge off. It was hit and miss with calcium/magnesium and tylenol pm at night. Again though, it will peak and then get better...it's not forever. Are you tapering up till the 20th or going cold turkey?

[chris011369]

thx for pre warning me what i get to look forward to. it seems like im trying to come up with reasons to postpone it. i decided to have a quit date. im going to detox sept 20. that gives me a bit of time to go get sleeping aids gatorade, vitamins and whatever i need to get through this. very excited about starting the first day of the rest of my life but terrified. i guess there is no reason to keep postponing it im going to have to w/d sooner or later. thx for the suport and please wish me good luck on my journey to hell

[margo505]

Won't regret it.  As far as what to expect physically I had diarrhea, insomnia, shakes chills, no appetite and couldn't stand food, smells, or cigs (good thing), my skin was so sensitive I wanted to climb out of it, I had no energy and I couldn't work for 3 days and had to go back slow. I also had nausea and headaches and just a freaky weird feeling. However, it didn't last forever. It DID end even though I thought it wouldn't. Oh yeah, sneezing in threes and runny nose, too. The runnny nose continues on and off and I have occasional waves of weirdness but I promis it has been worh it. I really didn't know what a mess I was until the drugs wre mostly out of me and I could think, feel, laugh, smile again. So let me know what you decide to do. I am excited for you to break free....

[margo505]

Hey chris. I know how terrifying detox is. I felt the same way but withdrawing is part of the reason I decidd to detox in the first place. I was running out of my supply and had to cut way back on what I had been taking and I started to withdraw...at that point I decided I didnt want to be a slave to the drugs anymore...i figured it would be better to just get off completely so I wouldnt havee to worry about getting more and what would happen if I couldn't. I just had hax enough. Not to mention how my life was beginning to fall apart. So that said I went to the dr and told him the truth about how much I was really taking and how I was supplementing between appts. Luckily he bad mercy on me and put me on a wening off program. I took 30 mg oxycodone 5 for three days, then 4 for three days, then 3 for 3 ;d on down. I was supposed to go all the way down to 1 for three days but by the time I was down to 2 the wd were getting bad in between doses so I bumped up a little and only had one 15 mg dose a day for the last two days. At that point is where it got hard and it stayed hard for a good 4 days then started easing up after that. I didn feel like my arms were attached to my body until about day 8 but I could function by about day 5. So now on day 20 I feel so much incredibly better. And every day after day 5 it kept getting better. I have heard detox is different for everyone...some worse or better than others. I weaned off but it was still hard. But please know that as hard as it has been it is TOTALLY worh it. 8 am SO glad I have broken free of that evil drug. I am finally getting my life back. So don't b afraid. Suck it up and DO it. My dr said withdrawals wont kill you. It really does suck and it is hard but if you really want to you CAN do it. Keep posting here. There is amazing support and really good advice. I have to say this website really helped and continues to help me get through this. Write me anytime I will be happy to answer any questions I can and if I cant I can at least cheer you on. I promise you wo

[chris011369]

my above question is actualy for anybody that can let me know how long and what im in for

[chris011369]

sry didnt mean to repeat ive never commented on these forums before

[chris011369]

margo im trying to get the guts to go to detox. i am terrified of the w/ds. i have tryed quitting on my own but by day 2 i thought i was going to snap from the w/ds. so ive decided to try detox maybe a bit easier. how many days did it take you before the worst of the w/ds stopped

[chris011369]

margo im trying to get the guts to go to detox. i am terrified of the w/ds. i have tryed quitting on my own but by day 2 i thought i was going to snap from the w/ds. so ive decided to try detox maybe a bit easier. how many days did it take you before the worst of the w/ds stopped

[margo505]

Mental part is the worst. I dont think about it constantly but I do think about it. I will hope it gets bettter. Congratulations for making it this far.

[margo505]

Ok shadow I will look for those little reasons to stay clean. I have 3 living right here with me. And I will keep changing...to sickofit...thank you so much, I didnt know it was such a big deal to make it such a short way but it actually already feels like a lifwtime ago.  I do laugh now all the time. I didnt know I had stopped until a couple days ago when I was laughing with some clients/friends. I am gonna find someone to hug every day...and to bucksfan, I was looking for you, too, thanks for showing up. I am glad you have made it this far. Congratulations. I was like you I did everything high, too. I still have to do verything now not high but the good news is I can do things now I couldnt do before because I had no motivation. I feel like I am coming out of a blinding fog. I still have a few wd symptoms but the ments

[bucksfan]

I found that day 19-20 has been the turning point for the mentals. I have felt great each day with very few bad mental/motivation waves and they only last for a just a portion of the time they did on days 7-19. I on day 23 and I did everything on pills, I mean everything! I found that I can do about 75% of those things now and have interest in them. There are still a few things that I dont want to do sober & know they would be huge triggers but I am sure that will pass  since I enjoyed doing it before pills...if not, then I just wont do it! Keep going strong Margo, I have actually been looking for a post from you to see how you were doing!

[sickofit586]

WE ARE SO HAPPY TO HEAR SOMEONE THAT GOT 17 DAYS We don't know how you are going to feel but you should feel a hell of alot better and I hope someone gives you a hug everyday. Keep up the great work and keep yourself on the cleanside of the street    Best think I have heard,you go girl or boy or whatever you are LOL,LOL and LOL because you can Laugh out loud

[shadow740]

Thank you, thank you.  I congratulate myself each morning, actually.  It's weird.  I refuse to call myself an addict anymore because I am not and I think that's defeatist.  I do still think of myself thou as someone who has to watch herself tho.  I am not "normal" in the sense that even after all this time I still can get that ...feeling...when I hear a song or see a movie.

You just have to change everything and that is not always easy or affordable.

My biggest test that I passed was dating someone who I later found out had an oxy problem.  I was twelve years clean and I did have those moments where I just wanted to use to spite him--and realized...I just want to use again.  Catching myself in that was awesome and since then...I haven't had the desire.  I look at how its destroying him and its the best deterrent.  Little ways every day.  You need to find little reasons every day and most of all remember...the first high is the best high.  If you go back it won't be like it was and you won't get that high every again, but you will get lower...and lower.

Hugs to you and best of luck!

[margo505]

Hey shadow. Thank yu so much. I get what you are saying about this drug and the brain. Congratulations for staying clean for so long. I am sure it hasn"t always been easy. I am changing the things I can. When I was going through wd I quit smoking which was huge because when I was using I would just go outside and smoke and float away...but its weird like you said just looking at the door I would go out sets me off. Other things like drinking coffee in the afternoon to wash down a cpl pills because the hot liquid would make it more intense (on empty stomach of course) reminds me, too. So I can't take the door out but I can stop making coffee in the afternoon which I pretty much have. It really is crazy. I am seriously considering moving. I get the music thing,too. It can always take you back to whatever was going on at the time. So thank you for letting me know I am not alone. I am looking for some mtgs this week. Have a great day.

[shadow740]

It's the triggers that get you.  In the years that I have been off I have done so much research into this drug.  Your brain absolutely has an associative memory that works against you.  

Change everything.

I've only just started to play Pearl Jam again and it still makes me a little...weird...13 years later.

[margo505]

Didn't mean to repeat myself. Writing this from my phone and I didn't think it all went out....sorry :)

[margo505]

Supplier was my dr and I told him the truth about my use and abuse and I know he wont write me another script. I think I have exhausted my other sources. It makes me mad knowing I will always have to fight this. I have no intentions to pick up again. However I am amazed after all I have suffered through withdrawing and waking up to the damage I have done that I would even think of getting high again. Goes to show how powerful these drugs are.

[margo505]

Hey thanks everyone. I guess I thought that once the really bad part was over I would be home free physically...obviously thats not true. I still sweat at night on and off too. Most of the sneezing and runny nose has stopped. I definitely think exercise helps. I have been going 4 times a week the last two weeks and it feels really good. I am the typical addict even in that and I want to keep going even when I know I shouldn't. But mentally you are right that I do need to stay on guard. There are so maany triggers or things that remind me of using...luckily my main supplier was my dr and I told him the truth about my use and abuse and I know he wont give me a script. I think I have exhausted my other sources....when I was waithdrawing really hard my thoughts of course were that I would never use again but the triggers make me thnk of it and even crave it and it maks me so mad knowing I will always have to fight this. I am not going to pick up no matter what though. I think if I do I will die.

[chronicmistake]

I agree with all of the above!  Try to exercise and sweat out those toxins. Go sit in a sauna when you can.  Eat super healty so you can feed your mind and body the nutrients it needs to repair.  Good job!!!!!

[dominosarah]

Congrats on 17 days!!  You will feel all kinds of things for awhile.  Your body is trying to heal itself from all the abuse.  Thank God it is forgiving.  Be good to yourself~~~~sara

[shadow740]

it will get harder before it gets better.  Give yourself reasons, motivations, throw away your phone with all your contacts in it, start fresh.  Don't hate yourself.  it's just another weakness, no worse than anyone else's so don't let your self-opinion trick you into giving up on yourself and going back on.

You CAN do it.  I am 13 years clean with not one relapse because I worked with a doctor and then gave myself a good strategy.

[FassFeat]

I would say based on what you said that you are doing great. Like Lindsay_T said, 3 weeks is probably a good number. I am close to 2 wks and the last 2 nights I have been sweating at night like the first few days. I feel great, but I am having some weird stuff too. I think our bodies are recalibrating. Give it time. The flush is probably taking alot of minerals and vitamins away, keep that in mind.  Congrats on 17 days.. You are doing great.

[Lindsay_T]

Hi margo, it really depends on many things. how much you were using and how many years. My body got really really used the hydrocodone, so it took a good 3 weeks to get it out of my system, plus i have a very slow metabolism. plus I felt like dookie on a doorknob, so i did not could not would not exercise. keep an eye on your physical symptoms. don't become casual about them. It will keep you sharp to stand firm against ACTING on cravings. Deliberately answer your self when you hear yourself saying, "i am feeling x, y, or z... " Say, yeah, so??? Be strong!