thanks all but still need help

[beck25752003]

hey all, most of you dont know me to well but just need to leave a note. i came to this site about 15 !!!!  days ago and it was my first day in a long time off the pills. i come on everyday and read post and peoples journals which help so much. i do post to help other folks the most i can. but having some rough days.  my boyfriend (oh wait ex-boyfriend) found me on the site and found out about my addiction that way!!  he didnt  handle it good and i had to move out! i am doing ok with it but man is my heart sad, but i dont want to go to  the pill to fix the pain.  no one in mylife knew but after he found out i have told everyone, so not really a questions just want to help with the mental part. i moved back where my mom is and having a hard time finding a job also which i know would help. just any great words will help just having a rough rough day and dont want to mess up what i have done.  thanks all  and all my wishes and prayers are with all of you and myself.

[addict3]

hang in there it will get better worry about staying clean. someone smarter than I will chime in and offer better advice. Peace!

[CadillacJack]

Reading these posts, and telling your own stories are about the best therapy available, in my opinion. Sorry about your recent break-up. Many of us, including myself, have had similar experiences. You're not alone in any aspect of the consequences of drug abuse. Get yourself in order, get & stay clean. Relationships may come and go, but you've got to be well to keep aone worth having. We did it. We've got to fix it, that means fixing yourself. Best wishes to you.

cj

[worried878]

It is good to get it out and there is no reason to be ashamed...it is a disease and  it can happen to the best of people...he must not have truly loved you or he would have understood..It may have been better to tell him up front...but would he have reacted any differently...it is not unusual for people to not want to shout "I AM AN ADDICT" from the roof tops....hang  in there

[beck25752003]

see that is why i love this site already in about 15 min  on my 15th day i feel better. i hope you know how much we all help each other. may i also ask does anyone go to meetings. my dad who i have just told in the last 15 days is a recover alcoholic says that is the only way to stay clean  true?

[worried878]

I tried a few NA meetings but found an AA meeting for  ladies on monday nights...i feel at home there...everyone is an addict...just different doc..alcohol for them but many are both drugs/alcohol...u may have to jump around meetings afterr u get the schedule to find the one group that is right for u...or u can attend several

[kim715]

Yes Yes Yes go to meetings.Its really important to have a good aftercare program in place and meetings can be a huge asset to your plan.Congratulations on your 15 days.I'll keep you in my prayers. Peace.

[Clamity2]

I got sober from alcohol by going to meetings.  I think this forum is like my meeting for drugs. But I know for certain I would benefit from a NA meeting. Too bad we only have 2 meetings a week within 30 miles. In Albany there were 40 meetings a week to choose from. It was nice to shop around for where I felt comfortable at a meeting.

[enemy48]

I'm sorry that you got kicked to the streets.  My boyfriend would have done the same.  

I was able to detox without him knowing.  He's gone a lot for his job, so that helped.  I later left him b/c I realized I used pills for many reasons, but I felt like it helped me tolerate him also.  Being clean woke me up.

You'll start to rediscover yourself.  It's does take time.  You have to forgive yourself, then start to love the new you.  

Best Wishes.

[flmagi]

15 Days is great, keep up the good work. Yes, get to some meetings and make some new friends while getting support.  
I'm sure you're sad over the break up, but in the long run, you want someone who loves you enough to support your recovery.  I'm happy to hear your with your family. Your dad sounds like he may be a big support system for you.
Good luck and don't fall back. Stay strong.
Magi

[Rose703]

15 days clean is a wonderful accomplishment, congradulations sweetie!! As for the b/f, I'm really sorry that he gave you the boot, but don't you feel better now that the secret is out? That's the positive side to letting the ones we love know about our addiction......most of the time they support us.
Keep posting here and yes I do think that meetings are an excellent choice! You can attend AA or NA meetings to see which one feels more comfortable for you.
I think it's awesome that your father has an understanding of what you're going through and I'm sure he will be more helpful that you might've imagined. Hang in there and keep marking those days off on the calendar, clean days!! Yes!!!!

[beck25752003]

hey everyone    thanks again for all the help,  man does it help was just having a hard day yesterday but doing better today. i am going to check on some meetings but in a very small town in alabama and hard to find.  i know i will just keep working on myself but you are so helful and make us all not feel so crazy and alone.  i cant say enough how much just a few not of encourgment help

thanks.
beck

[GoingToMakeIt]

16 days is great! It does get better and better. be patient with yourself. It didn't take 2 weeks to get where you are. So give your self time to heal, mentally, physically and emotionally. If meetings aren't an option post here every day! Staying connected is part of the success. Look into amino acids and vitamins to rebuild your body.

[desperate1111]

work on yourself for now. 15 days is great. look ahead.

[Mare555]

I understand you're taking the meds to tolerate your boyfriend...My husband has a tendency to be verbally abusive and when I first discovered vic's I realized, too,  that they helped me get through the pain and tolerate certain behavior without going off the chain...It was easier to self medicate and be able to deal with that pain that way, which started a long process of self medicating...Bad, bad, bad...I don't know what will happen once I get clean (and am determined to do so..) as far as staying with him, there won't be that cushion to numb the pain...and he is aware of my problem and only calls me names - yet he drinks and smokes pot and occasionally does coke, but that's not near as bad as he tells me being a pill head...(he thinks quitting is mind over matter..his name calling is worse when I am without and feeling wtd's...) It's terrible..But, I don't want to focus on that, I want to focus on being strong and smart and surviving this...I've lost myself in these stupid pills and the thought that I have gotten to this point where I couldn't survive without them makes me even more determined to beat them as it is not "me"...My prayers are with everyone here...

[desperate1111]

i just said the other day i don't think i can tolerate my husband without the pills so he may get kicked to the curb. focus on you right now. best of luck to you!

[Mare555]

Same to you....We deserve better and if not, then at least peaceful and happy!...