the weekend is here and im worried

[jayeye]

not so much that im going to break down and use cuz honestly even if i wanted to i cant drive on weekends and wouldnt be able to go get anything....im more worried about the boredom....i dont know what to do with myself.

my plan was to see what happens if i stop the low dose of subs after five days....but part of me wants to go out hang out with CLEAN friends the few i have left....but i know if i dont take the subs i wount feel like doing that....should i not be pushing the being social thing....i mean i know its good for me mentally and you know what they say about ideal hands.

[vicki595]

John: YOU NEED TO THROW OUT THAT SUB!  I mean it...You need to do the work here and that's part of it. No more pills or anything else! It's over, right?

[Jenny9906]

I can relate and sympathize with the anxiety....I've always kinda had anxiety issues and it was severe through the detox....and 3 months clean I'm still battling with it. Anxiety blows....glad to hear you are hanging in there.

[IBKleen]

I just have to jump in here. All I hear is that you are still self-medicating. That behavior is very dangerous. I wish I heard you say that you were going to meetings or something. I don't hear you talking about any aftercare. This disease is cunning, baffling and powerful and will sneak up behind you and hit you in the head when you least expect it. Get some help honey. Get some tools in your box like coping skills..relapse prevention skills..etc. Learn to STAY clean. You already know how to GET clean. Now what?

[jayeye]

but I haven't taken it yet lol

[jayeye]

my aunt is aunt is a pyrmasist she the one that gave them to me kinda trust her judgment

[dirtydirk]

sry i must have misread the comment....... i agree its not a smart thing to be takin other ppls scripts 100% cant argue that, im just glad its not more opiates and its someting to help his wds.

[jayeye]

unfortunately we have all lost friends in this game mine was like my brother we were together everyday.....and instead of learning from it I flew off the deep end...I had to be picked up off the floor and slapped back to reality myself  can't but my family through that

[jayeye]

hey everybody thanks again for the support.....like I said took a small dose of the sub yesterday .15.....didn't feel great come midnight but nothing bad managed to fall asleep around 4-5 and slept till 11 can't complain there...haven't taken any subs today at ALL.....overall not to shabby right now I know I still have a lil of the sub floating around me so I'm sure that's helping just getting the hot and cold feeling anxiety and can't site still very antsy but over all not bad at all...sneezing attacks and watery eyes are here lol....and its time for some imodium......took some vit b this morning....not gonna be able to get the rest of the supplies till later tonight hope for the best prepare for the worst....I do know I'm feeling a lil worst as the day goes by but metal is half the battle so can't think that way.....hate when the mind starts racing

[gnarly_1]

Hi the desire to get or stay clean must exseed      the desire to get high....dont give yourself a reason to use... you never have to pick up again............................Gnarly

[dominosarah]

I am talking about the addict behavior, not healthcare.

jayeye, how are you today?

[jugglin]

You have been given the list of things you need.  I highly recommend those Epsom salt baths as hot as you can stand and as many as you want...they are good for relaxing those rls as well as relaxing the mind. Crank the music, watch funny movies, distract that brain of yours. No time like the present my friend...no time like the present. Trust me, if we can all get through this so can you.  We come from all walks of life, all ages, all with work and family obligations.  We aren't any more special..we aren't any more resilient.  We just did it cuz we knew in our minds and hearts there was no other option that came with positive results. You know this...you know the routine...want it bad enough as we want it for you! Sending you prayers for strength, healing, courage!  You got this!

[Jenny9906]

I hope you find a positive way to get yourself through the weekend! :) even if it's just lounging on the couch zoning out on old movies :) hang in there!

[dirtydirk]

if we all had ins. to go 2 the dr we could easily get the things we really do NEED .....clonidine helps  for opiate withdrawls, one cant deny that truth....... .......maybe with OBAMA care things will be different !!!! only good thing about obama care is ppl cant  go the dr once every three months get 3 papers to fill they scripts  so ppl are having to pay outta pockets every month now  which is makin lots n lots of ppl having troubles gettin there opiates......way to go obama its the only success story about your presidency  

[dominosarah]

I dont agree with the clonidine as it wasnt prescribed to you by the doctor but that is just my opinion.  Getting it from someone else is still addict behavior.

You mention about not feeling well for work on Monday.  Here is how i see it, be glad you are still able to feel~

[dirtydirk]

i dont think hating was what he was thinkin tough love is a good thing .....on a different note i know all 2 well about friends dying and ppl comin up 2 me saying i was guna be the next one 2 die ....there was a cpl months i actually was in some way shape r form kinda dabbling in death by overdose and for what ever reason god had a different plan for me yah i woke up on the floor a handful of times and wondered how long id been there but i didnt die and im a stronger person because of those times in paticular ..... if someone overdosed in my area the first thing i said was who did he get that from and i go get some for myself,  looking back im lucky to be alive !!!!!

[kuku4kokopuffs]

"kuku yes I did get high onvpce this week but I realized what a mistake that was I'm not gonna let that happen again...or I will continue this circle and I refuse."

If I had a dollar for every time I've said that over the past 30 years I'd be sitting in the Playboy Mansion with Megan Fox feeding me grapes with her teeth.

It took me 30 years to see the light and as bad as it got, it never got bad enough till my 2 best friends died from drugs to see if I didn't quit I was probably next in line to die.

You can wise up now or keep playing games and end up suffering for years. It's your decision.

"yeah dirt kuku is funny he's believes in that tough love can't hate sometimes u need it thanks for believing in me."

You think that was hating on you? Because I called you out on your BS? Get serious. I could have had you scooting across the carpet like a wormy dog.

[jayeye]

yeah dirt kuku is funny he's believes in that tough love can't hate sometimes u need it thanks for believing in me

[jayeye]

my heating heating pad was left at the xs as part of the break up lol kidding just NVR went back to get it I live for it with my bad back I would use it almost every night

[dirtydirk]

haha cant blame ya there

[vicki595]

I'm STILL very much attached to my heating pad..haha...and I don't plan on giving it up...

[vicki595]

I was thinking if you had bad chills, cold feet etc...it feels wonderful to get in to some very warm clothes and wrap up in a warm blanket...but you don't have a dryer nearby.  Definitely get a heating pad though. You can put it on your legs when they feel "jiggly" and it helps..

[dirtydirk]

heating pad ... omg  i would use the one i had like i was linus from charlie brown   that was amazing until i wanted to get away from it and i couldnt..... it became my new warm body feeling esp when the chills went to the bone.....least i thought they did , it coiulda be 90 degress outside and id stil have the chills i always said i gotta quiti in the summer b4 it get uber cold then the winter would come then id say i gotta wait till the summer cause i cant do this in the winter....low and behold i finally got clean and it wasnt in the summer  it was 1-25-14 the worst winter ive experienced in over 15 years  go fig!!!!

[dirtydirk]

ohhh  snap  thatswhat up   someone is bringing up old sheeeet  holding ya accountable feel like you drunk txted my sister and now were showin u the evidence  way to go kuku  if things would have kept up like this next week i was guna have a seroius sitdown with jayeye but weve been talkin about his short term use with the subs and i beleive sun was his shutdown date that doesnt make it right 2 be using cpl time in the week by n e means  i can only listen to so many reasons why 2 ....good for u   sry buddy

[jayeye]

kuku yes I did get high onvpce this week but I realized what a mistake that was I'm not gonna let that happen again...or I will continue this circle and I refuse....

thanks Vick no my I have a laundry room that I have to walk to the next building to use but I have my mom lol I can have her make a dryer run y what r u thinking