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1285097 tn?1323780241

tramadol - i'm dying :(

I have been addicted to Tramal for the past 2,5 years and I have decided to once and for all stop these horror pills. I took up to 400mg in one dose and later in the day I would take another 200-300mg..
Yesterday I took 350 and now I decided to stop these pills from hell. Instead I took some gabapentin and valerian root but I am not doing good at all.. The worst is a massive anxiety and tension I feel inside myself and I feel tempted to blow it out with valium but I don't want to swap addictions.. The tension is so bad that I feel like loosing my mind.. I can't afford going to a doctor so I guess I have to go through this on my own. As long as there's no pill supply around in my house.. I work in the medical field and have very easy access to trams without anybody even suspecting that i'm dealing with an addiction.
Please god help me!!!
47 Responses
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Avatar universal
Can you explain the benfits of valerian root please? I hope you are still doing well. I haven't started to attempt quitting dihydrocodeine, but have set a date and I'm trying to sort out the fine detials of quitting etc

I have also abused tramadol, as have family members, and I have witnessed first hand how hard it is to come off this pill, possibly even worse than my own dcodeine addiciton WDs.

well done again.

your an inspiration.
Helpful - 0
1416133 tn?1351123217
As strange as this might sound, anger is going to help you right now summer.  STAY angry at the trams - poison and a "bucking bronco from hell" is right - stuff should be taken off the market as far as I'm concerned.

You're making it summer - to the other side.  And the view is MUCH better here isn't it?  :)
Helpful - 0
1285097 tn?1323780241
oh yeah.. been on the efexor but when i got off it i short term was switched to another SSRI which made it bearable coming off it..

Tramadol is the ultimate drug from hell. During the first 5 days i felt a constant chest tightness and a desperate feeling i will leave my skin like an alien within the next minute. just horrible, i cant really describe this feeling.

Girl, we are on day 10 (me) and 11 (you) which means we are probably out of the worst?

I feel a lot better and don't need the valerian root anymore to this extend.. anxiety and tension have decreased a lot. The best thing of it all is.. i have no cravings!! I hate tramal so much and i know that soon i wont have access to it for a while. when i feel depressed i blame the breakup.. any bad feeling i dont blame the tramal for it (even though im sure it makes 80% of the depression) .. in a way to re-focus my brain.

There are moments when the WDs return.. and every time they do i blame something else than the tramal, so my brain wont even start getting the idea to return to this bucking bronco from hell.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i remember one time being on effexor for a year when i started having panic attacks.  i took it like a good lil girl then was ready to come off and BAM, hell started.  i had to open up the capsules and was physically counting the little spheres of medicine that was inside.  made me feel like a druggie from hell.  the w/d was very bad.  suicidal thoughts, brain zaps, crying all the time etc.  i made my doc put me on xanax til i was all the way off of the effexor.  this was years ago and i don't remember how it went but i don't remember having really bad w/d when i took that small amount of xanax.  i have taken and come of percocets as well.  

this is why it's so hard to get off of the tram.  the anti depressant properties and whats funny, i never knew it had that in it til i came here.  these drug companies should be held accountable for this crap. seriously.  

Why this drug???  why are we having so much trouble with this drug?  we don't quit because of how it makes us feel when we do.  it's hell.  it's not our fault.  i wasn't getting high from the tram.  it had a legitimate purpose ya know?  pain management.  now look at me........big ol' blob of nothing. i even yell at the dam cats.  

"I just want to hit somebody til they feel as bad as I do. I want to hit something. I wanna hit  it hard!!" ~ *Steel Magnolias (M'Lynn)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I too am coming off Tramadol. Taken for years for spinal injury after surgery. NOT told about dependance .However ran out of pills after i had been in hospital to have pacemaker fitted.They  forgot to give me all my medication back when discharged.Could not get any for 4 days.I wasnt bothered at that point.However i then got the most awful withdrawal symptoms  what a nightmare i almost wanted to die!
I have got down to 1x50mg  at night and 1x 50mg morning.Still feel a bit edgy though. How do i get lower than 1 pill. every 12 hours.?
I must say reading your posts make me feel .. that i am not alone in this so i do pray for all of you every night at 9 pm.
Keep up the good work all of you.Together we can all be stronger.
I live in UK.Thanks  Kate
Helpful - 0
1416133 tn?1351123217
No is right.  Trams SUCK.  No other way around it.  They just SUCK.  I'm sure I got bleeped here by the "moderators" and I couldn't care less.  Enough said.
Helpful - 0
1285097 tn?1323780241
Hell yeah!! F*CK that $HIT!!!!! :D

i never felt this intensely about trams in past withdrawals. The last time i had cravings all the time. Now NOOOOO
Helpful - 0
1416133 tn?1351123217
That's exactly how I felt.  I was SO ready to say goodbye to the trams that I never looked back.  It's a good feeling isn't it?  FUC* that shi* - it's over and good riddens.  Life DESERVES to be felt.  Period.  :)
Helpful - 0
1285097 tn?1323780241
i am surprised how the time went by without huge cravings. I was always well able to see the trams in front of me without wanting to touch them. this is how much i HATE them. Today while packing I found 3 tram pills, took them out of the blister pack and threw them into the toilet. I didn't feel any regret doing this. Still taking neurontin in moderate doses to keep my mood levels up. they are definetly less toxic than the trams and I must say I feel ok. Spoke with my bf over skype and things may not be over.. i don't know what will happen though.. so i'm still taking 1000mg valerian root twice-three times a day against the anxiety. i have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder before i ever started the trams so i guess i need to learn from scratch again how to deal with it as the tramal made me forget about it for a long time.

Never mind.. tramal is in the toilet and i feel good about it.

I feel a little more normal today. Managed to pack 8 boxes for the move since yesterday i didn't get anything accomplished for my move back home.

Yesterday I was invited for dinner with some good friends. We spoke for an hour about my relationship issue and they helped me so much. After that we had a huge arabic dinner.. I was a little concerned how my stomach would take it as for 4 days I didn't eat anything. But it went fine. I ate slowly and even had some appetite.

I don't mean to sound arrogant here, but I am really proud of myself to have gotten a week over withdrawals plus a breakup plus two 12/13 hour shifts..

I feel so ready to have the trams finished forever.
Helpful - 0
1416133 tn?1351123217
OMG summer - you mentioned your near week clean as if in "passing" - don't "by the way" that girl!  That is HUGE!!!!

Feel proud of yourself - because you deserve to.  :)
Helpful - 0
1285097 tn?1323780241
Congrats to your new job. that is good news. and even better.. you can work from home.

i'm in agony relationshipwise so i don't really know whether these intense depressions are w/d related or due to the issues with my bf.. its probably a mix..

oh by the way.. i flushed the trams i had in the toilet.. i've been clean for nearly a week now...
Helpful - 0
1416133 tn?1351123217
The sam-E worked GREAT for me - hope it does the same for you.  :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
you are awesome girl.  i know all too well about the crying.  been doing it off and on for a couple days now. not sure if it's pms or the w/d/depression.  i am very independent, always have been but for some reason the past couple days, i have been lonely.  my friend came over today with her kid and our kids played but right after she left, the loneliness set in almost immediately.  not sure what is up with that. i am sad.  i did manage to get a job also and start training on monday. i will be booking reservations for a hotel from home. but can't seem to even get excited about that right now.  not like me.  so many little joys in my life and i can't muster up one ounce of gratitude.  sad.  i am too not your typical "junkie" person either.  noone would know by looking at me.  same as you. but what does one really look like??  not sure.  maybe, ME!!  

i have begun taking SAM-E which is for well being and mood.  hope it works soon.  i think it's pms mostly.  i have pmdd, not pms. my electric is going to be shut off after the weekend if i can't find someone to pay it.  i am a mess.  too much stress and thinking that maybe now wasn't the right time to quit.  i don't know.

so glad for you that you are still keepin along. that is soooo great. you are a trooper.  hope you have a great nite.  i shall too cry again i am sure.  feels good.  

t~
Helpful - 0
1416133 tn?1351123217
And there is no reason in the world you need to think about that now summer - no reason at all.  She's here NOW and that's all that matters right?  So relish these times - you will always have these times to look back on.  And they actually help me now - thinking about all the fun my Mom and I used to have.  I know I was her best friend too - and that makes me smile today.

So enjoy your present - no need to think about stuff like that today.  And thank you for your kind words.  They mean a lot to me.  :)
Helpful - 0
1285097 tn?1323780241
i was crying when reading your words about your mother.. she surely was a special person and close to your heart..
i'm horrified of the day i loose my mom. shes also my best friend
Helpful - 0
1285097 tn?1323780241
oh that is a very tough situation on you.. i can imagine this creates a lot of anxieties. you are a trooper surviiving through an addiction and withdrawals while facing these problems. God be with you!

i've had a day curled up in bed crying filled with depression and cried so much.. but it felt good.. worked for 12 hours yesterday with my usual crying breaks in the restroom.. now i'm proud of myself that i survived through it.. it's day 6 now. took some gabapentin when i was close to loosing my mind.. had an onset of restless legs today for the first time in my life.. and a few panic attacks. managed not to touch valium but settled it with valerian root..
i'm shocked when reading the past lines i just typed.. i sound like a desperate junkie. maybe this is what i have become.. an anonymous junkie.. nobody would ever suspect that of me.. people think i'm a stable and self confident person.. who has become a little introverted..
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
you are doing great summer. keep it up.  i have some major issues right now myself. mostly financial but very bad ones.  been unemployed for 2 yrs has finally taken it's toll on me.  floating bills and such is finally caught up with me.  about having the tram around.  when i quit vics awhile back, i had some left.  up in the cabinet and never took them after i made the decision to do so.  actually, gave them to a friend of mine eventually who needed them.  same with cigs. i quit for a yr and a half and had the same half pack on top of the microwave forever.  never turned to them.  if you have the will power then they are just there ya know?  if you don't want them and are serious, you won't take them.  depends on the person i think.  

i have been feeling really good the past couple days.  not sure if it's a trick though.  i would like to think it's that easy.  we shall see.  

hope you are doing good today.  talk to you soon.

t~
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Ohhhhhhhhh, you're doing great to stay clean with all that has happened PLUS being around the tramadol.  I would have never made it through that one when I was WDing.  I'm proud of you, if that helps any.  It will get better soon and definitely won't get worse than right now.  You're right in the middle of the worst part.  Just hang in there!!! :)
Helpful - 0
1416133 tn?1351123217
Oh gosh summer I know exactly what you're saying.  Treasure the friendship you have with your Mom as I know you will - my relationship with my Mom was the most important relationship of my life and since she's been gone, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her, miss her, and SO miss our talks.  She truly was my best friend in the whole world - so enjoy that while you're able to.

It will get better - just hang on for a little longer - I promise you, it will get better.  And keep talking, posting, whatever you need to do to get your feelings out.  Keeping them bottled up during withdrawal will drive you crazy and possibly drive you to use.  And you KNOW you don't want either of those things.

You will get through this - slowly - one day at a time - one hour or second at a time - trust that okay?
Helpful - 0
1285097 tn?1323780241
Mission: Surviving day 4 CT Tramal and CT Lovebreakup :(

it is too late.. my lovely boyfriend ended things.. it doesn't have much to do with my withdrawals.. it is because of other issues.. we were going to get married this summer..

today i had the worst day at work ever.. worked 12.5 hours, ever now and then i disappeared in the restroom to cry. My breaks i spent lying on the backseat of my car crying my eyes out..

took valerian root - my best friend and helper over the past rough days... and returned to the hospital ward at least trying to make some human interaction without breaking out ion tears and i did a good job. Nobody who wasnt supposed to see a tear didn't get to see one.

survived day 4.. working always close to the medication press filled with boxes of tramal.. in my heartbroken state i didnt even bother craving them.. Still get those anxieties and tension but it's well controlled with valerian as long as i take it regularly.

had a wonderful 2 hour phonecall with my mom who is the most wonderful friend i could ever have imagined ..
Thanks god for giving me such good parents
Helpful - 0
1416133 tn?1351123217
I get it.  Tramadol withdrawal does feel like you're dying.  And add relationship problems to the mix and it can be a real mess.

DON'T try to resolve any issues relationship-wise right now.  Your mind isn't clear yet and you're too overwhelmed by the tramadol withdrawal to focus on that right now.  Believe me, I remember - I wanted to LOSE it on someone when I was detoxing from the trams.  Course I would never do that, but the anger was palpable.  You need to give yourself some time here to heal - and sadly, that won't happen overnight.  I may be considered a "slow" healer because it took me over a month to realize I didn't hate the world or the people in it.  And it was still months after that before I was ready to accept myself for who I was and how I needed to live "drug-free".  So don't try to rush the process.  It takes as long as it takes - and that's different for everyone.

I know how frustrated you feel right now - so if you can, try to take the frustrations out on something constructive - getting housework done, paying bills, whatever.  And tomorrow will be a new day (I know, sounds cliche but it really is true).  ONE day at a time here summer - that's all you can do.  :)
Helpful - 0
1285097 tn?1323780241
i wont actively hurt myself and will never do no matter how bad things are.. because i have a family who loves me and i also have a god..
but if my heart stopped beating i'd happily welcome it.
i feel miserable and depressed.. this is not a relationship forum so i wont write about this here.. but i can say my heart just got shattered to pieces in the worst way someone can imagine
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Ok, so if you're saying, "I am dying!" like as in you're miserable, then that's one thing.  If you truly think that your life is ending, get off here and go to the hospital!  Seriously!
Helpful - 0
271792 tn?1334979657
If you really feel that you are dying, get yourself to the ER. this is nothing to fool around with.
Helpful - 0
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