trying to come off methadone - again!

[kiylen]

I'm new here also and I really need a support system.  I don't really have any friends right now because I'm trying to get away from anyone who uses anything.  I've started going to church for inspiration, guidance and strength but I still would like some friends who can relate to this.  About two years ago I was taken off 240mg methadone cold turkey in the hospital.  Needless to say, I had seizures, vomited for 7 days, didn't eat for 14 days, had hallucinations, and thought my bones were going to rip out of my skin.  I also didn't sleep for a very long time.  Anyway, after leaving the hospital, it had been maybe two months and I guess it was just the mental thing and having no energy (I know it's gross but there times I would go days without taking a bath or leaving the house), and I ended up right back at the clinic.  I've been there six months and only have went up to 70mg and have started tapering now.  It's $400/month plus the $150/month I spend getting there.  I've been clean off other drugs.  But they are taking me off 5mg per week until I hit 20mg and then going down 1mg/week from there.  I've started taking magnesium, zinc, b vitamins and drinking water.  I've heard it will all help but you hear so much you don't know what to believe.  Just reading all of these posts really makes me feel like I'm not so alone because no one knows I'm on the methadone.  I started it originally in pill form because I have lupus and have had 2 back surgeries.  I also have epilepsy but I have other medication for that which isn't addictive.  Anyway, the doctor closed down and I started the clinic.  I want my children to have an unmedicated mother, their "real mother" and I just really need guidance.  I'm just starting but I will keep you guys up to date if you want to hear from me.  Any advice is appreciated so much.  You guys have already motivated me.

[kiylen]

I know what you mean about I could have probably stayed around 40 and been okay.  But the addict in me wanted something more.  And like you said, I just slept.  My kids didn't know I was around.  I didn't even want to get up and cook or do anything.  My first round with methadone before I went cold turkey for 4 months I had gotten up to 240mg!!  Talk about spaced out.  After the four months I was still in agony and went back to the clinic and never got above 70mg.  That's why I fully believe in tapering off of this the right way.  Your body definitely has to adjust.  You sound like you are really dedicated to this and your heart is in the right place.  Great job.

[Lisa034]

I am glad you are doing better.  Wow I have never had night terrors but I have heard storys of other people having them. But everyone that I know that has had them was still on all kinds of meds.  I have never heard of having them while detoxing but with everything we are putting our mind and body thru I would not doubt it at all. I am going to go down on Wednesday. I was at 80mg, I went to 70mg yesterday (sunday)  I am going to go down 5mg every 3-5 days as long as my body will allow me to. I am feeling fine, I can not belive I was on 110mg of this stuff.  I was thinking back to the begenning, I could have stayed at 40mg and been just fine.  I do not know why I let myself get on this much methadone.  I guess that was the addict in me trying to replace one for the other. I never got high on this stuff though.  It did make me sleep a lot though.  When I was at 110mg all I ever did was sleep.  My kids never seen me.  That is why I decided to get off this as well.  Sleeping away my life was no quality of life at all. Well anyway let me know how you do on Thursday or if you need anything before then just let me know.  I am thinking about you always
Your friend
Lisa
Jacksonville,FL

[kiylen]

I seem to be doing okay so far on the tapering.  I'll go down 10 more mgs on Thursday.  I'm okay except in the morning I used to not feel so bad but now, until I take that dose of methadone I feel awful.  I'm also starting to get some of the leg pains.  Has anyone had night terrors coming off this stuff?  I have never had one and did for the first time last night.  It literally made me cry.  I really thought there was a man in my room standing over me with a gun.  It was so real.  When I woke up I still didn't know if it had even been a dream.  I was shaking sooo hard.  I slowly went through the house and rechecked the alarm.  Luckily, I was able to go back to sleep but like it's called, it's terrifying.

[Lisa034]

I am also on methadone.  I know a lot of people do not like it but I do belive it has saved my life.  I am also comming off too.  When I first started methadone six mths ago I got up to 110mgs I am now down to 70mgs.  I just went to 70mg today.  I was at 80mg but the other day when I went to the clinic I requested a dose reduction.  I got it today.  I feel fine but we will see. You guys have been a true insperiation to me.  I dont know if I could get thru everday life without the people on this site.  Thank you to everyone     Even though methadone saved my life I still want to be drug free.  I do not want to be a prisioner to anything anynore. Before I found this site I was kinda deppressed and I did not really know if there was life after pills.  Now after reading all of yalls posts and hearing everything that yall have to say, I know there is life after pills and it is going to be a wounderful life

thanks so much
LIsa
jacksonville   florida

[kiylen]

Right now I think I'm going to keep trying coming down 10mg per week and then (I just went to 60mg yesterday) when I get to 30mg I'm going to go down 2mg per week and then if I hit a dose where it makes me start feeling really rough I may try to stay there more than one week to adjust.  At 20mg I hope to go down 1mg per week and then go an extra week on 1mg going maybe every other day.  We'll just have to see how it goes.  You guys I am so amazed at how much just talking to others is helping me get through this.  I have a counselor and everything but you guys are really encouraging.  Thanks to everyone.

[gnarly_1]

hi welcome to the post.....I to am a methadone addict ive been doing an 8 1/2mo taper
im down to 2mg now at first i was going at 5mg a week till i hit 40 then i started to
go 10%every 72hr or when ever my body would adjust to the lower dose..my body
bucked at 20mg for 6 weeks but finely I got past that and went to 10mg on the 72hr
program now ive had to slow down to 1mg a week ive been getting withdrawals
since i hit 10mg and every time i drop a mg i feel like he11 for 3 to 4 days but in the
long run it will be so worth it to be methadone free.....9 days from now...
good luck with your taper and if you need advise there are plenty of people
here to help that have been thew or are going threw it best wishes Gnarly  

[avisg]

We are here for you If you want off then you do that .Do whatever you need to to get the support system into plz with people that give you positive support .You can do this and like you know it can be really hard but it is doable I believe you cam.
avis

[whitie]

not true for me, I could feel 10mgs when I was going through wd's. that was the white pills,not liquid. maybe theres a difference. never did the liquid.

IMO, that a taper is amust on strong replacement opioids like 'done and sub.

my bro Gnarly_1 is doing a taper right now. check him out in my profile under notes.

[kiylen]

Thank everyone for the responses.  The clinic isn't forcing me off, I've just decided that I want to be free.  I went down again and today it was to 60mg today and I haven't noticed anything in the past couple of weeks except I'm starting to feel a little achy and bad when I wake up.  I get up, start moving around, take my dose and I'm okay.  But like I said, I've been through this before, I just dread hitting rock bottom.  I've heard it doesn't matter if you come off 200mg or 1mg when you hit that "bottom", you hit just as hard either way but I just find that really hard to believe.  But I think maybe the difference this time is that I am mentally prepared to fight this thing 110% where last time, I just kind of thought, okay let's see what happens if I come off.  To everyone else out there going through this, you're in my prayers and let's all stay strong.

[whitie]

sounds like the clinic is doing the right thing in forcing you to taper down, right?

but man, what a story. there are quite a few here lately going through methadone wd's. and I have been clean for 4 months now,off the stuff.

the 'done is a tough one, but it can be done.

[Mememe79]

I feel your pain. In the last 11 years I went from vicodin / norcos, to percocets, and in the last couple years it was MS Contin. I was taking 4 x 100 mg pills daily. My pain once again was not being helped with the meds so my docs suggestion was to double it to the 200 mg pills. At that point, I couldn't stand the meds anymore so I tried to quit, it wasn't working so my brother suggested I go to the methadone clinic. I spent most of the time arguing with them and trying to keep my dose down. I managed to keep it at 160 mg and I'm finally at day 9 with no methadone. I'm finally at the point where I'm down to just having a severely upset stomach, the shakes and the restless legs, and not being able to sleep. Its not exactly great but its way better than it was a week ago. I was told to take B vitamins and also supposedly pottassium is supposed to help with the restless legs supposedly so I just got both of them. I'm hoping I will know in the next short while if these things help at all. Anyways, I know methadone is the worst thing I have ever tried to come off of, I'm just hoping this is getting close to being done with. Keep your head up.

[kiylen]

Thank you so much and I will pray for you also.  Please let me know how things go for you and you are welcome just to send me a message when you're having a really tough day.

[Memory222]

I'm new here also...this is day 3 for me, went cold turkey from a 5 year Vicodin addiction. It's hell, I know. I don't have all the good advise like the veterans from this site but they saved me yesterday when the pain and anxiety became unbearable. This site is my salvation at this point. Reading entries from other addicts helps so much. I want you to know, from one Mom to another that all my prayers and hopes go out to you honey.