ultram addiction

[PAPERMAN]

I HAVE BEEN ADDICTED TO TRAMAL (100mg retard) for the past three years.I TRIED BEFORE TO KICK THIS BUT THE WITHDRAWAL ALMOST KILLED ME..I TRIED TO TAKE MY LIFE. MY QUESTION IS ...  IS THERE A MED THAT I COULD TAKE TO EASE THE WITHDRAWAL OR DO I TRY TO CUT DOWN GRADUALLY??  THANKS  TOM  PS  TIME IS GROWING SHORT

[puma]

Hello all,

I agree with (Bodymechanic) about the Ultram. It is an anti-depressant as well as pain killer and it also causes constipation, therefore when one quits it, the runs prevail, and the depression and pain return.

I don't think all of that is necessarily withdrawal, only returning one to the same frame of condition they were in before starting it.

I have been on and off of it with no problem except depression. I am back on now and take four pills a day for the pain. I plan to keep it up so long as I don't start to feel the need to increase the dosage.

I wish all of you luck on your various stages of recovery and congrats to you (Starraven) on day 33 and to you (Twindad) on day 8.

Chatahan........wildcat

[Waking up]

I'm sorry i cannot answer your question, but i'm in the same boat. Friday night was my last methadone, saturday wasnt; too bad until around 8:00 pm, then it hit i have the shakes so bad i can't really do anythin with them, i cant stop crying, if it dosen't let up i do not know what i will do. I threw away my dealer phone number, so i just spent the last 6 hours pulling my house apart to find another copy, but none was uncovered.

[gia]

I can feel your pain. I was addicted to Ultram too and the withdrawal is worse than hydrocodone. The best thing to do is gradually taper off, that is if you have the control. I used benadryl and lots of sleep to get past the withdrawal. I wish you the best.

[taeme]

Hang in there, we're all rooting for you.  You and everyone else whos taken that giant step is giving us strength to either quit or two stay quit. Don't give up. I know it feels like if this doesn't kill ya, that you'll do it yourself.  All I can say is in reference to withdrawing from coke, talk about depression, that it does get better and sure felt a hell of a lot better about myself when I quit which is now 4 yrs.  I haven't gotten rid of all my demons but I working towards that goal.  I too think a taper would be more benificial however do you have someone to help you so you don't go overboard.  I know this just pissed me off, but they are helping even though you don't or won't want it.  Make sure its someone understanding cause you probably won't be nice. Also, make sure they can hide things well, I'll tell you what if it was anywhere I could physically get to I would find it.  I am a very good hidder, I guess you learn that with continued drug use. Keep it up. God bless you. taeme

[athena]

Hang in there,we will all be pulling for you.You are not alone.Have you seen the thomas recipe posted?If you can get it,it will help a lot with the w/d.lots and lots of hot baths make it bearable.The worst will be over in a few days.you are almost past the worst of it so stay strong,you can do this.i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

pixi

[Starraven]

Wow, now you all have me worried.  My elderly father is on ultram for his back as well as  his arthritis. He says it does wonders for the pain in his knees and hands,  I even have a bottle of a hundred left over from my various back problems still in my medicine cabinet and never even had the urge to touch them during my HELL going cold turkey off of the narcotics. (now I am wondering if they would have helped me during my withdrawals)  Should I worry about my father and HIM getting addicted and eventually going through the hell I did from the lortab and percs.  I do not wish that on my father!  Although his doctor has had him on it for many years and doesn't plan on taking him off of it anytime soon.
I hated the stuff,  hated the way they made me feel..just refused to take them.  Thank goodness I didn't fall for those demons.  Good luck to those getting off of them!  
Hugs
Suze

[taeme]

Do you know anything about toradol? Is it addictive.  I know its supposed to be some sort of NSAID.  Can you tell me about it, have you tried it.

[twindad]

Paperman, it will be one of the toughest things you have probably done, but the reward is worth the price of admission!!! I am on day 8 of sobriety from Perksand I am feeling better and stronger each day. I nearly lost my wife/children and my job, but I was able stop (thank god) in enough time that I will be able to repair the damage. What I did, was go into another doctor (who wasn't perscribing me the Perks) and laid it on the line with some real honesty. It was hard to swallow my pride and admit I was an addict, than the possibility of losing my family. The doctor helped me wean during a 3 month period, so my withdrawls were not as bad. I still felt like **** for the first few days, but it took a couple years of abusing to get me where I was, and I knew it would take a little feeling like **** to get clean. I have to tell you folks, it is a better day!!! Peace, TD.

[Bodymechanic]

Bupenorphine will get you off in 5 days.  Clonidine works wonders for most people during withdrawal. I would gradually taper.  I am addicted to ultram at 6 pills per day and I don't care.  It works wonders for me. I will deal with the withdrawal when the time comes. Hopefully I will be dead by then.

Toradol is not addicting but it is very hard on the liver and kidneys. It was almost taken off the market for that reason. Have you tried Vioox.

Peace

[taeme]

ya I tried vioxx and several other nsaids, problem is cause of the bulimia my GI tract is all screwed up so I really should avoid them since I do have ulcers and varicese.  You sound awfully down right now. I know the feeling of wanting to be dead then nothing would matter any more, the pain, the addiction, the struggle with yourself, and the self hate.  But this seems to be quite a change from the way you've been sounding in the last couple of days. Are you doing all right? Are you having a hard day? S!@# if anyone can know how it feels this message board does.  Let it out it may make you feel better.  Are you still using or are you on the mend? I don't mean to pry I just thought I or someone could help, if you want it.

[Bodymechanic]

I never have a bad day except what is in my head. My life would be perfect if I did not have a screwed up brain. I am fine if I use ultram every day. When I stop within 3 days the fatique, depression, sleeplessness and pain start all over again. These symptoms are not related to withdrawal.  They are my natural state if not medicated. There are many, many others who are worse off than me. Thank you for your concern.

Peace

[emmy22]

A comment on the Torodol- I had kidney stones about six years ago, and they gave me Torodol, which made my right kidney shut down for a day and a half. I was a normal, active healthy teenager with no history of drug abuse, and in the past few years I have heard a lot about Torodol's effects on the kidneys.

[gia]

You better be glad you didn't take the Ultram for withdrawal, since you already have a history of addiction it is almost certain you would of been trading one addiction for the other. That was the stupid mistake I made, and boy did I pay. Not everybody gets addicted to Ultram so there is a chance that your father will be alright, but I would make sure he tapers off just to be on the safe side. My Ultram withdrawel was worse than Hydro and I would hate for anybody to go through that. I used to belong to a form for ultram addiction and you should of heard the horror stories, worse than hydro or perc.

[jule1]

I wrote in another thread about Valerian root but it looks like it was during some problems here and it got erased.  Anyway I used to come to this forum quite often and have just started coming around again.  I have suffered with alternate Ultram and hydro addiction.  I stupidly started taking hydro to get off the Ultram.  I agree that the Ultram is the hardest to come off of.  However, for the restless nights and legs a combination of Benadryl and Valerian root really help.  I truly care about all of you  and am so happy to see some old names here.  Heres to a good night sleep!

[jule1]

WW - I am so thrilled to see that you are still around to offer your help and support.  I am so proud of you.  You are truly my inspiration because we have shared the Vicoprofen addiction.  You should share your story again to inspire the new people here.  You are proof positive that there is life after addiction and it can be conquered.  Your friend, Jules

Little Guy, I miss you!  Are you OK?  I would love to get an email from you!  You know the addy.

[Starraven]

GIA, Thanks so much for your post.  I am glad that I didn't know that much about ultram.  If I did, boy I would have taken a handful just to ease the hell of my withdrawals. ( I think I am at day 33, I'm starting to lose count and that might be a good thing. LOL)

Bodymechanic, In my endless search on narcotic withdrawal, opaites ect, I did come across a few statements from patients that their doctors actually prescribed Ultram as an antidepressant.  Maybe there is something to that.  If it works for you and you aren't abusing them by taking handfuls then I see no harm in doing what is right for you, enables you to function and helps you with your pain.  I just don't see a thing wrong with that.
  
When I was taking the lortab for pain, I took eight a day, 10/500 and that was all I needed to be pain free and to be more energized and I just had a feeling of "well being". (and until I found this forum I thought eight was an astronomical amount! when my pain was a TEN, I did take TEN pills in one day and I thought that was me taking my meds irresponsibly)  When I said I was labeled with a depressive disorder..it wasn't me sitting around crying all the time..It was fatigue, lack of motivation and just being in a blah mood as I was in pain all the time ect. (Who wouldn't get depressed being on restricted bedrest for four months) I wanted to quit to see if I could live life without that little pick me up.  The pain without the pills is horrific at times,  but I also didn't want to rely on lortab to live life.  I didn't want it to control me, I had something to prove to myself, that I was in control, not the pills.  I did it, once again..third time this year.  Yeah, I want that energy again, I want to be pain free again, but I don't want to go back to the point that my doctor might cut me off eventually and I will find myself searching for pills everywhere. I have the whispers every now and then since withdrawing, but I haven't given in and gotten my refill.  I can't imagine having these whispers and not knowing that the pills are there if I need them when the pain reaches a point in which I cannot tolerate it alone.

Well I am sorry I am rambled to you all.  LIke I said before, its all good therapy for me.  I thank all of you.
Hugs
Suze

[gia]

i am having the hardest time today with cravings, and I almost came close to getting some, but some how I made it past the craving but it has come back. I am just so tired of these thoughts that its driving me crazy. I have two exams tommarrow that I have not studied for because I am too busy thinking about getting high, what the hell is wrong with me? My drug of choice was Vicoprofren and i curse the day I ever took one, now I feel like I am going to be fighting a losing battle for the rest of my life. The funny thing is that I spent two months in jail last year and it was the best I have ever felt. After my withdrawals I felt great and had a whole new outlook on life. I was just so sure that I was never going to use again, and now I am back in the same boat. This is my third day clean becasuse I slipped Friday or it would of been my 5th. I just feel so hopeless this time. Maybe it is because I have a lot of stress in my life like college, I just moved out from my boyfriends into my own place, and I am almost broke. I truly believe that if I had some money I wouldn't be craving and id been fine, or am I just kidding myself?

[Sundown]

You are almost through the worst. The third day is really difficult but it WILL start to get better in another few days. Congradulations on ont giving in to your cravings. You may be finding it harder this time because it seems like each time you go through withdrawl, it's worse than the last time. You are still looking at some tough times, but it WILL get better. Know that everyone here is pulling for you.

Sundown

[Wardman]

It does get better Gia,  I am qutting tommorrow. I rememebr teh days of going months without narcotics and I always was much better and felt soooo much better. I cant wait till I have some clean time behind me again.  I know I will suffer the next few days and I know that it appears that there is no light at the end of the tunnel, but there is!  My worst symtptom is teh severe depression I get for a few weeks. I knwo that will pass.  I also get restless... no sleep whatsoever.... and massive diarrhea where I am scared to even leave my aprtment.  I am sick of waking up every day in a state of panic, all due to the drugs.  I give hope to people because you CAN be happy without drugs.  I kwno we are all different, but when I see the posts saying that it doesn't get better, I whole heartedly disagree.  Good luck to you all

[Sundown]

I tried to post a new thread/question this AM, but the site daid we've hit the limits on new questions here. Kind of strange, but I guess every web site has it's slightly funky limitations (actually, not so slighly :) ). So I'm sorry about breaking the topic of this thread.

This morning I'm getting ready to go on my first out of town business meeting since getting clean. While I feel goof about traveling, I'm aworried about sitting in my hotel room tonight alone and in a strange bed without being able to take anything to "relax and sleep well" (one of my excuses I used to use to justify knocking myself out with vikes before). I've tried to develop a plan of exercise, reading, and ordering some movies on pay per view (hey, I'll try anything). My laptop is being serviced, so I won't have regular interent access from my room, and that is unfortunate, because I'll probably have to get through the next three days without the support I have found here. I will be back Friday, but right now at 5:15 AM tuesday mornining it feels pretty far away.

I hope everyone does well over the next few days, and know I will be thinking of everyone here.

Take care,
Sundown

[hippy]

thanks sundown, you be safe

peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sundown]

Thanks, and you be safe too.

Take care,
Sundown

[kornie]

Damn....I went to my doctor yesterday.  Told him that I was cutting back from the 3 vics and 1 soma a day I was taking.  He gave me a prescription for Ultram and said it was non-narcotic.  Damn damn damn.....As a recovering addict I was hoping this would help.

Now I'm pissed...and in pain.....but I'll get over it.

But this past week the pain has been really bad......Every day I wrestle mentally with the small amount of pills I'm taking.  As I said last week, I stay close to my support group and meetings, but I still wish I didn't have to take the stuff.  I have tried all the non narcs - vioxx, bextra, neurontin, celebrex etc.  Nothing like that helps.  I was hoping Ultram would help.  IN fact I just filled the prescription.  

I'm glad I checked in today to see how everyone is.  

[hippy]

watch your self with the ultram. they are very hard to get off of.
take as little as possible.try everything else while your taking them,
ice, heat, extra strength t, streching, MSM, L-tyrosine

[puma]

(Kornie),

The Ultram works well for me. In times of severe pain I choose an anti-inflamatory such as Advil or Motrin in-between dosings. Tylenol is non-anti-inflamatory and has never done anything for me at all. Not only that it can ruin your liver like booze so you might as well drink, at least that would kill your pain.LOL

Actually, I am not supporting drinking by any means, (it really sucks) and the (w/d's from it suck even worse than any narc I've taken and last much longer). Of course I have not had the experience of the hard narcs except Dilaudid which knocked me out after post-op surgery, and percs which did nothing almost like the Tylenol. I flushed those. I think I am allergic to Tylenol as I always felt like **** after taking it. Even the Tylenol-3's made me feel like ****. The straight Codiene was great however.

I suggest the Advil or generic Ibuprofen over the counter, an in-expensive in-between instead of upping the dosee of Ultram. I was tempted to up it to 100 mg's four time a day instead of 50 mg,s but then thought I was playing with fire.

Take care, and good luck.


(Sundown), we'll miss your inspiring posts while you're away, take care and God Bless.

Chatahan......wildcat

[gia]

don't even get started on the Ultram if you can avoid it. I would rather take a chance on Darvon compound-65. I dont know, its just something about those damn Ultram that makes the withdrawal worse than Hydro. Actually what it does is reduces the uptake of seretonin in the brain.

[DrowndWorld]

Hey all...this is my first time writing in here. I've been taking pain killers for a little over a year now...and have recently realized I have a problem. So...I am stopping for good...however over the past month my Mother has been giving me Ultram everyday...up to 8 a day. I tried to quit cold turkey and physically felt like I had the flu:  sever joint and back pain, fever, chills, lethargy. I read online how Ultram has had the same withdrawal symptoms for people. I have not had this sever symptoms after stopping 10 vicodin a day...that w/d was just emotional...but this Ultram it is physical. My back hurts so much that it hurts to even lay down.

Anyways...for the past week i've been tapering off...and I'm down to 2 a day now. For 8 hours after I take it I feel better, sorta...and then the symptoms return around 6 at night and then I can't sleep and / or wake up feeling like I can't lift up my legs. I just have never felt so awful in all my life...and I urge anyone out there to not abuse Ultram...it seriously is harder to quit than regular opiates. It's sheer hell.

At any rate...I'm looking for any help that anyone can provide for what to do here or how to relieve these sypmtoms...I've taken Tyrosine for the past 2 days...and it hasn't helped all that much.

A Dr told me to cleanse my body eating only fruit, lettuce and vegies, rice, and tons of water. I was up peeing all night but I swear it helped a hell of a lot getting toxins out of my body. My Mom has been buying Ultram online for months now and yesterday said that this was the last order...and I'm afraid for her because she's going to stop cold turkey next week...and she doesn't believe me about the w/d that it has...she's like "Oh I'll be fine"...and she takes twice as much as me. So...if anyone can help with any other kind of advice...it would be greatly appreciated.
Thanx

[puma]

Drownedworld,

I took Ultram before for over one year and quit with only return symptoms of pain and runs because it causes constipation so when you stop so does the opposite of that side effect. I had no serious side effects. I did not abuse it however, only took four 50 mg's pills a day.

I am now back on it and my doc gave me a problem yesterday because I relapsed on the booze, but I have a script waiting. I am so irritated I feel like leaving it there and not picking it up and just taking Advil to prove they are full of it. I do hard physical labor and can barely walk at the end of the day, that's the only reason I take it. The booze also is a pain killer but  the toxic effects are bad.

Well, I gotta run, hope you hang in there and your mom is okay with stopping it. You may suggest a taper instead of c/t. Take care and good luck.

Chatahan........wildcat

[1st24]

Thanks for the info on Ultram. I am experiencing tendinitis of my left arm.  Which is one of the reason I upped my narco and oxycontin doses.  I was originally taking pain meds for knee replacement surgeries - 2 in the past year.  But now I know I'm addicted to them, and didn't realize Ultram could be so bad.  I'll get the valerian and benadryl.  Also, do you know if the recipe calls for Vtamin B-5 (panathinic acid} or Vitamin B-6?  I've seen both in different areas of the forum.  Also where can I find L-pyroglutamate?  Good luck to you.  I'm starting hour 42 ct.

[Starraven]

This is not my recipe, I just have it in word and post it whenever someone needs it.  This is Thomas's recipe.


"Thomas Detox Recipe

PLEASE NOTE: I am not a doctor, simply a long-time Rx opiate junkie who has had many opportunities to develop a way to detox. This is a recipe for at-home self-detox from opiates based on my experience as well as that of many other addicts. It is not intended as professional medical advice. It is always wise to make sure none of the recipe ingredients or procedures conflict with medications you may be taking. Likewise, if you have any medical condition, disease, allergy or any other health issue, consult your doctor before using the recipe. Thanks, Thomas

This recipe is designed for cold turkey opiate detox. It assumes that you can get about 5 to 7 days away from your job or household responsibilities during which you can sleep, veg and act as miserable as you feel. Opiate WD mimics the symptoms of the common flu, so, if you need a smokescreen, hide behind a bad case of the flu.

If you can't take time off to detox, I recommend you follow a taper regimen using your drug of choice or suitable alternate -- the slower the taper, the better.

For the Recipe, You'll need:

1. Valium (or another benzodiazepine such as Klonopin, Librium, Ativan or Xanax). Of these, Valium and Klonopin are best suited for tapering since they come in tablet form. Librium is also an excellent detox benzo, but comes in capsules, making it hard to taper the dose. Ativan or Xanax should only be used if you can't get one of the others.

2. Imodium (immodium) (over the counter, any drug or grocery store).

3. L-Tyrosine (500 mg caps) from the health food store & 5http from the health store as an antidepressant/relaxant.

4. Strong wide-spectrum mineral supplement with at least 100% RDA of Zinc, Phosphorus, Copper and Magnesium.

5. Vitamin B6 caps.

6. Access to hot baths or a Jacuzzi (or hot showers if that's all that's available).

How to use the recipe:

Begin your detox with regular doses of Valium (or alternate benzo). Start with a dose high enough to produce sleep. Before you use any benzo, make sure you're aware of how often it can be safely taken. Different benzos have different dosing schedules. Taper your Valium dosage down after each day. The goal is to get through day 4, after which the worst WD symptoms will subside. You shouldn't need the Valium after day 4 or 5.

During detox, hit the hot bath or Jacuzzi as often as you need to for muscle aches. Don't underestimate the effectiveness of hot soaks. Spend the entire time, if necessary, in a hot bath. This simple method will alleviate what is for many the worst opiate WD symptom.

Use the Imodium (immodium) aggressively to stop the runs. Take as much as you need, as often as you need it. Don't take it, however, if you don't need it.

At the end of the fourth day, you should be waking up from the Valium and experiencing the beginnings of the opiate WD malaise. Upon rising (empty stomach), take the L-Tyrosine. Try 2000 mgs, and scale up or down, depending on how you feel. You can take up to 4,000 mgs. Take the L-Tyrosine with B6 to help absorption. Wait about one hour before eating breakfast. The L-Tyrosine will give you a surge of physical and mental energy that will help counteract the malaise. You may continue to take it each morning for as long as it helps. If you find it gives you the "coffee jitters," consider lowering the dosage or discontinuing it altogether. Occasionally, L-Tyrosine can cause the runs. Unlike the runs from opiate WD, however, this effect of L-Tyrosine is mild and normally does not return after the first hour. Lowering the dosage may help.

With breakfast, take the mineral supplement.

As soon as you can force yourself to, get some mild exercise such as walking, cycling, swimming, etc. This will be hard at first, but will make you feel considerably better.

PLEASE NOTE: If you have any medical complications, first check with your doctor before detoxing to verify that this regimen is safe for you. "
End

P.S..I myself used Melatonin for sleep and Kava kava root also helped me with the skin crawling I had. Both of these are available at GNC or any other health food store.
GOOD LUCK!
Suze

[1st24]

Thank you for the information.  I am doing the recipe as closely as possible, although don't have access to any valium, etc.  So I'm using valerian root extract.

[turd]

I have been a addict since I was born. I suffer from low-self esteem. I have detoxed so many times in my life I couldn't tell you how maney times I have withdrawn.  I cleaned up and I have fibromyalgia and hurt most of the time. I started taking Ultram about 2 years ago because my doctor told me that they were none addictive. At first I didn't care for them but continued taking them since they seemed to be working better than advil. Narcotics have been my drug of choice usually scipts. After the Ultram was in my system for a week or so I noticed how good I felt. I started out with 3 a day and worked my way up to 20-30. This was just 4 days ago. I be came obsessed with them and the high I got as much as any other opoid that I have taken. These were better though because they were easier to get and that didn't screw up my head nearly as much. It's a total miracle that I am still here. I have been in and out of recovery for a long time and it just hasn't worked for me. I had a book laying around the house and knew that I neede God's help in this but was bound and determined to get off the Ultram. I sarted reading this book and there is only one thing you do a day. It has litteraly given me hope in my life in these four days. The withdrawl has been hard but I can handle it. I needed this change in my life. I was swallowing as many pills as I could (usually 4 at a time) and I was still miserable. That is one hell of a place to be. I needed help - not in a pill - something more powerful than me although I do have the power to change my life if I so desire. The mental masturbation isn't near as bad when I do what this book suggests. The name of the book is The Greatest Miracle In The World by Og Mandino. It's truley a wonderful plan to help us addicts that have suffered for so long and are hopeless and feel powerless to change our lives FOREVER. Good luck to everyone who is suffering with this illness of addiction and low self worth. I gaurantee this book is litteraly saving my life.

[turd]

I have been a addict since I was born. I suffer from low-self esteem. I have detoxed so many times in my life I couldn't tell you how maney times I have withdrawn.  I cleaned up and I have fibromyalgia and hurt most of the time. I started taking Ultram about 2 years ago because my doctor told me that they were none addictive. At first I didn't care for them but continued taking them since they seemed to be working better than advil. Narcotics have been my drug of choice usually scipts. After the Ultram was in my system for a week or so I noticed how good I felt. I started out with 3 a day and worked my way up to 20-30. This was just 4 days ago. I be came obsessed with them and the high I got as much as any other opoid that I have taken. These were better though because they were easier to get and that didn't screw up my head nearly as much. It's a total miracle that I am still here. I have been in and out of recovery for a long time and it just hasn't worked for me. I had a book laying around the house and knew that I neede God's help in this but was bound and determined to get off the Ultram. I sarted reading this book and there is only one thing you do a day. It has litteraly given me hope in my life in these four days. The withdrawl has been hard but I can handle it. I needed this change in my life. I was swallowing as many pills as I could (usually 4 at a time) and I was still miserable. That is one hell of a place to be. I needed help - not in a pill - something more powerful than me although I do have the power to change my life if I so desire. The mental masturbation isn't near as bad when I do what this book suggests. The name of the book is The Greatest Miracle In The World by Og Mandino. It's truley a wonderful plan to help us addicts that have suffered for so long and are hopeless and feel powerless to change our lives FOREVER. Good luck to everyone who is suffering with this illness of addiction and low self worth. I gaurantee this book is litteraly saving my life.

[JULES9648]

I have been addicted to Percoset for 2 years now. I have the same story as everyone else so I won't go in to it. I have been medicaly detoxing for 9 days now. I still feel very weak and have energy. The pain was so bad last night that I called the Addictionologist and he called in 4 ultram. They really did work. I want to get another script today when I see him. I just don't want to jump from one addiction to another. Any suggestions on that and on the lack of energy:?

[S.C.Feen]

Remember, you are the only person who thinks in your mind! Your thoughts and beleifs of the past have created this moment, and all the moments up to this. What you are now choosing to believe and think and say will create the next moment and the next day and the next month & year.!  
You are the power in your world! You get to have whatever you choose to think!
*****Cleaning the mental house after a lifetime of indulging in neg. thoughs (or things) is a bit like going on a diet after a lifetime of indulging in junk food. They both can often create healing crises. As you begin to change your physical diet, the body begins to throw off the accumulation of toxic residue, and as this happends, you can feel rather rotten for a day or two. So it is when you make a desision to change the mental thought patter- your circumstances can begin to seem worse for awhile.
Recall for a moment the end of thanksgiving dinner. The pan is all burnt and crusty, so you put in hot water and soap and let it soak for a while. then you begin to scrape the pan. Now you reallly have a mess; it looks worse then ever. but, if you just keep scrubbing away, soon you will have a pan as goos as new.
It's the same thing with cleaning up dried- on crusty mental patterns. when we soak it with new ideas, all the gook comes to the surface to look at. Just keep doing the new affirmations, and soon you will have totally cleared an old limitation!

[lisabet]

Your choice of username intrigues me - either you have extremely low self esteem, or have a wicked sense of humor (or as I suspect, maybe a little of both?)  Actually, I feel like a **** myself a lot of the time...smile.  Congrats on your continuing search of sobriety. I'm not familiar with the book you speak of, but sometimes a single instance, a spoken word from someone, a book, even a movie or a song just shakes something within us that makes us want to do better.  I myself am still a user, although tapering, and find a lot of strength in other's posts in this forum.  If you post on a thread near the top, chances are you'll get more responses on your posts.  There's a lot of good people here---most are here to help and be helped. I know reading the posts every day has really strengthened my resolve to try to do as well as I can everyday.  Keep posting - we care. Love/Peace, Lisabet

[MDSmiley]

I know that I'll probably get nailed for this but I very successfully quit a habit of lortab/vicodin (20 per day) and then Oxycontin (200mg pre day) that lasted for 6 years by using Ultram. I am not recommending this for everyone! Hear me now.  But I noticed that if I took 2 to 2.5 Ultram every 4-5 hours it greatly diminished my withdrawls.  Except for that cold kind of sicky feeling in the mornings when you are even to cold to get out of bed.  I lowered the dose everyday after the 2nd day of taking them until I was down to one every 12 hours. The next step was cold turkey and honestly I have to say that other than being really tired the next day it worked great.  I slept great that night and felt fairly refreshed the next day.  The whole process took me about 8 days total to be free of anything.  Next is the psychology of the matter which I think to be a hell of a lot harder than the actual detox.  Thats my story and I wish all the best.  Thanks for a great forum.

[zinnman]

as ive read some of y'alls posts im beginning to think that I'm a special case. I have a very serious chronic pain problem, 2 compression fractures,severe arthritis,spinal stenosis, and multi level advanced deginerative disk disease. This is in all three major areas in my spine. Iv'e been battling this pain for over 5 years and been on various meds. At one time I was taking 8 ultram, 6 hydro-tens, up to 12 oxy "ir", and 90 mgs of oxycontin per day, not to mention benzos. The " tail was deffinately waggin the dog", if y'all know what I mean. I decided to wean off and this is how I did it. I focused on one med at a time, very slowly. started with the contin, then the "irs", then hydros ,then ultram. I took suppliments to build my strentgh (melatonin, st. johns wort and others) forced myself to get active and surround myself with positive people. The thing I feel that may have helped as much as anything is I would drink a gallon and a half of water each day.
     My point is that it wasn't that bad. The biggest thing was "moderate" depression/restlessness that I knew was apart of the wdrs. I let my wife know the gig and it took me 3-4 months to get totally drug free.
I was off drugs for about 18 months but my spine continued to degenerate and simply to be able to get out of bed and walk I was forced to resume meds. sometimes I wonder whether  I am a prisoner to the drugs or my body. I applaud the work y'all do and will continue to pray for y'all. I guess life would be pretty boring if there wasn't a fight in there somewhere.

God Bless.

[Indy500]

Try neurotin for withdrawal from Ultram.  It works.  600 mg x 3 should eliminate withdrawal symptoms.

[essentia]

This is my first post EVER!!! (I usually dont partake in these bulletin boards though I find them quite helpful.) Anyway... after reading post from those that have/had an addiction I find myself wondering where I fit in in all of this. I take Ultram. I LOVE ULTRAM!!! I have no desire to stop taking it. I was on it purely for the fun of it for about 1 1/2 to 2 years ago (no more then 2 tablets a day 100mg). My "supplies" ran out and I could no longer take it... no big deal I stopped as quick as i started. Now I have discoverd that I can order Ultram (and other stuff) online from international pharmacys. I couldnt believe it- for 50 bucks I get 100 tablets delivered to my door! So now Im taking Ultram again (about 1 year now).... my question is at what point did you realize "you were an addict"? I currently take no more than 3 tablets a day 150mg...... somedays i had to miss taking it.... no biggie.  From what i have been reading.... some of you have taken up to 20- 30 pills a day!!!! I felt guilty taking just 3! Am I a "wanna be addict".... I thought my 3 pills day was alot. Oh- maybe i should mention my average routine..... I take 3 pills in the morning.... and around 7:00pm I smoke a bowl of weed.... and sometimes I'll round out the night with NyQuil to go to sleep. I've always beleived EVERYTHING in moderation.... so I'm curious as to what you all think.

[lisabet]

Hey there and welcome to the forum.  It sounds like at this point you may not have a problem....YET....but since you like it so well, you may well be flirting with diaster. With luck, you may not progress any further with your usage (maybe you don't have an "addictive personality" since you've stopped before and didn't have a problem with it). Worse case scenerio: you keep taking more and more and before you know it you're addicted.  I would be very, very cautious if I were you. It's funny you mentioned Nyquil; it's the first thing I ever took that I actually got dependent on. For at least 5 years - I took two dosages every night before bedtime.  The reason I stopped is because I got pregnant, and after my son was born, I just didn't resume it. After that, the strongest thing I took was darvocet, again for many years, and like you if I didn't have it I really didn't think about it.  Then - about a year ago, I took a hydrocodone 10/325 (vicodin), and no kidding, I think I was addicted within a few weeks.  So please be careful with the ultram - it may be just the one you'll fall completely in love with and can't live without.  Trust me, it happened to me; please be careful.  Love/Peace, Lisabet

[lisabet]

Hi - one more thing: when posting, post on one of the top threads; more people will see it and respond.  Love, Lisabet

[essentia]

Thanks for your response!  You mentioned whether or not I have an "addictive personality" ..... honestly i think I do. See, my saving grace is the fact that I cant get my hands on vicodin, oxy or other stuff all the time...ok, well i can but It takes some leg work ..... i really do love painkillers but I'm very afraid of getting addicted and having them control my life.... i often wondered if thats why my "abuse"  is so controlled..... I'll tell you I dont need them because I have skipped days... not had them etc. without any problems.... (well maybe i get cranky) ... but the thing is I want them! I take just enough to feel comfortable - I dont like being out of my mind. Anyway- you brought up that i might be playing with disaster. I know tis is prob true, but if I have been taking them for so long and STILL havent upped my dosage ... do you think i maybe ok to continue? And is 3 pills a day considered alot?

PS. Umm, this may sound stupid but who do you post at the top?

Thanx
E

[Rex1]

Hi and welcome.

One question that you may want to ask yourself is this:

"what do I need to get high?"

What is it in your life that turns you towards drugs when you have no pain? If it is just the feeling you get, may I say to you that is something more than that.

Answer that question, and you will likely know if you are an addict. Spend some real time thinking about it!

Another way to look at it:

"If I were not doing Ultram, then I would be doing....what?"

Good luck...

Rex

[essentia]

Thanx Rex- To answer your question.... "what do I need to get high?"........ anything. I'm not picky , whatever is readily available.

You asked..
"What is it in your life that turns you towards drugs when you have no pain?"

Answer: I like the feeling of not having to worry... im a worry wart and the pills "make everything easy and laidback".  I'm also in therapy (about 2 years) because i used to have panic attacks (well i had 2 of them) ..... Im still in therapy now because I like it. I like talking and sharing my thoughts & ideas without social persecution.... but anyway, after a year I was prescribed Zoloft... I was so excited!!!!  A precription for pills...yeah! However, there isnt any europhic effects- bummer. They did what they were suppossed to do , but they werent fun- so I stopped.

You asked:
"If I were not doing Ultram, then I would be doing....what?"


Answer:
Well I'll tell you that when I wasnt doing ultram i really didnt do anything except weed. I only do what I can get easily .... On any given day i can and have not taken anything..... the only side effect I can say is.... i get "bummed out" , shrug my shoulders and move on.

thoughts???

Again, rex thanx for the reply, everyone seems so polite here- I dont find that alot!

E

[Rex1]

I also have panic disorder - specifically when doing public speaking, so I know how you feel.  And I am also a worrywart so it seems that we have a lot in common.

So I believe that you have answered my question -- you take drugs to ease the pain brought on by panic disorder, just like I did.  I hope that you will believe me when I say that if you don't stop now things will be worse -- much much worse.  Then you'll have an addiction to deal with before you can continue to deal with the panic.  My advice is to stop now.

Also, the marijuana can't be helping things.

There are plenty of effective methods for dealing with the worry, but if you use narcotic painkillers to deal with it, it is literally like trying to put a fire out by pouring gasoline on it -- trust me, because I know this to be true from firsthand knowledge.

Another seriously scary downside to using painkillers is this -- what happens if you actually get hurt and need painkillers?  Guess what -- your body now needs a lot more of them to do the job, and then you become dependent on them just to feel normal, like pretty much everyone else on this site.  Oh, how I wish I could convince you to stop now...

I have used this metaphor so frequently that people here are probably sick of it, but addiction is like quicksand.  You don't see it, then you are in it, then you need someone else to get you out of it. The more you try to get out yourself the harder it gets. Maybe this site is that someone else, but you might also consider NA/AA as an alternative.

Gods grace to you...

Rex

[lisabet]

Good morning! You know, honestly, I don't think taking 3 pills a day is a lot.  But if you think about them constantly and want them badly when you don't have them, you may have a problem. This is the way I started out on the hydros. When I first started them, I only took them 2 or 3 times a day; I loved the feeling they gave me. I didn't really take them to get high, they just seemed to take the edge off the everyday stress and enveloped me with a sense that all was right with the world. However, as my tolerance for them grew, I started taking them 2 at a time 3 times a day, and before I knew it, within a time frame of several months, I was up to 12 a day, plus supplementing them with alcohol at night just to turn the "noise" off and go to sleep. It really hit me one evening I had a bad problem when I missed a function at my son's school that was very important to him when I drove back to my work place where Fed-ex had delivered my pills; ending up having to wait 2 hours on them to get there. By then, my son's concert was over, and I had to make up a lie to cover up why I wasn't there. The thing was, I could have gotten them the next morning, but being out, I felt that I HAD to have them right then. That's when I really realized I had a BAD problem. About this time, I found this forum; believe me I was a mess. I read every one of the posts for weeks before I had the nerve to post. I felt such comtempt for myself. With the support of everyone on this forum, I am slowly tapering (down to 4 beginning today)and am starting to get a sense of my self worth back. Didn't mean to write a book; just wanted to share my experience and let you know those little devils can have a hold on you before you know it. Just be careful. Love, Lisabet

[lisabet]

To answer your question about posting at the top. You usually can't get in to post an original questions, as med.help only takes 1 or 2 a day.  Just pick a top thread and click on it, like the way you did on the one towards the bottom. It doesn't matter if your comment or question doesn't answer or comment on the rest of the thread.  Just go ahead and post. We all do it all the time by "breaking" the thread and get our questions or comments in there.  Lisabet

[essentia]

lisabet:

Wow..... you really are a caring person.... thank you for your honest reply..... your example of  "missing your sons school event"  IS a sign that addiction has set in. I thought and still do .... when my  pills become most important & they disrupt my daily life,  that is the sign that I have become hooked. Thankfully this hasnt happend (yet). if it hasnt happend yet... will it ever I wonder??

BTW- excellent point about if I ever REALLY get hurt and need them. I havent really thought about that.

rex:
And thank you also. regardless if people are tired of hearing your analogy.... its true & I know your right. Perhaps more time on this board will do me good.

I need to mention, I guess, that the main problem now is that I have NO desire to stop. I think mainly because I am an artist & a musician....... the art and creativity that flows from me when im "doped up" is so superior to when I'm not. the "meds" seem to free me of all inhibitions hence I create work that is amazing. Unfortunately I think the pills/weed has become apart of "my creative" process- and this saddens me.

Again thank you both
E

[lisabet]

Hey dear, how you doing?  You mentioned you were an artist; I think that's something most addicts have in common; maybe not an artist by "trade", but I think most of us have that trait in us that may make us a little more creative and sensitive to the outside noise of everyday life. The drugs help "seal in" that creativity and imagination, but sadly, they also "lock out" our ability to interact with real life, thus we actually lose ourselves by isolating ourselves more and more, numbing our true feelings.  Recovering members on this forum post time and time again about getting in touch with their true feelings and emotions again after getting clean, and the unexpected exhilaration of being able to "feel" again.  I know with myself, as I started tapering, I have very vivid dreams - a real mixed up mess; some mornings I just wake up exhausted, but yet at the same time feeling purged. I think what it is, is all the feelings I had numbed with the drugs and alcohol; they're all "fighting" to reimmerge. When I was doing a lot of hydros and drinking, I don't remember dreaming at all.  Guess it's just "rebound" dreaming...smile. The inhibitions you think you're actually "freeing" will end up locking up your emotions tighter than a wound up clock. At least that's what happened to me. I wish you the best, and hope you figure out what to do that is best for you. Have a good weekend, Lisabet

[britboy]

hi i havent been on for a while, last time i was on i was talking about my addiction to over the counter painkillers called solpadeine (paracetamol and codeine) since then i have been prescribed codeine by my doctor, this was about 9 months ago. I was prescribed it to accompany loperamide to control my bad stomachs. Now i am addicted to both drugs and especially the codeine and suprisingly the loperamide, i amd concerned about the damage to my liver, i am only 17, i have to tried to stop, and i hadn;t taken codeine in a week untill tonight, i dont want to take it again but i was wondering if i will be back to square one now that i took that dose tonight! As for the loperamide, i have cut that down but cannot completely stop cos of my supposed IBS, do u think i will have damaged my liver, i was taking aproximatly 16mg of loperamide a day and 60mg of codeine.