use of cocaine

[suehome]

I have been using cocaine on a recreational basis for several years now.  I am not addicted I could quit if I wanted to, however I feel like it has not caused me any harm but my fiance seems to think it is causing me damage.  I am a little high strunk at times but its just my personality, I do smoke, and a few years ago I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and started taking medication methot... just started a new type of medicine.  I think the cocaine helps me deal with the pain and I don't see why I need to stop using. Can you tell me more facts about using only sometimes but not addicted. His family is trying to make him think that I am psychotic because I use.

[vikequeen]

I have a question anyone know if Librax is addictive? It had librium in it and something else, I take it for my IBS, it gives me no high so in my definition any drug that gives me no high is not addictive lol just kidding sorry to hang on the above post but this darn thing never lets me post thks Baddgirl

[Thomas03]

Hi Sue,

The web is full of sites documenting cocaine's effect on the brain. Let me just say this: cocaine causes physiological changes in the brain that cause you to crave cocaine whether you had a great experience with it or a terrible one. How crazy is that? The more you use it, the more you will crave it. That goes for casual as well as chronic use.

Chronic use of cocaine over time damages your ability to experience pleasure, sometimes permanently. How crazy is that?

You owe it to yourself to go to a couple of Cocaine Anonymous (CA) meetings - not necessarily to speak or commit yourself to anything, just to see the human devastation that cocaine leaves in its wake. I am a veteran of many, many AA/NA and CA meetings. I have never - never - seen so many broken people in AA or NA as I have in Cocaine Anonymous.

Like most people on this forum, I had my affair with cocaine. I know why you like it. But cocaine destroys people and none of us are immune.

You don't use cocaine because you're psychotic. You use it because you're human. You can also stop using it for the same reason.

Thomas

[suehome]

I know I could quit, I just don't think I  should quit doing the things I enjoy because my boyfriends family is pressuring him.  He is 40 years old and still letting his mother try and tell him what to do.  I don't think he can expect me to quit cocaine when he smokes marajuana on occassions and he has even done coke with me.  His family started accusing him of a coke problem because he lost a lot of weight when we started dating.found out it was his thyroid, we are getting married and I will quit my cocaine use before we try to conceive, however Thomas can you tell me how long it was before you quit, and knew that you were over your cravings for cocaine.

[Thomas03]

sue, I used sporadically over a two-year period. I only used when I was gifted some coke by a friend who dealt. Thank god I couldn't afford the stuff on my own. But even a weekend fling with coke left me craving the **** out of it. I eventually used it less and less often. For me, the craving only lasted a couple weeks. I think it depends on how often and how much you use.

If you don't mind, since you posted them, I must say that your reasons for using are pure, USDA choice bullshit, which is to say they're similar to the ones I had for using. 'Fact is, all reasons for using cocaine are bullshit. Cocaine is a drug with only one purpose: to addict people and turn them into customers.

You deserve better than that, sue.

Thomas

[suehome]

Thanks Thomas for your input.  Two weeks I can do that I was under the impression that kicking my habit would take longer.  I have on occassions stopped using for months at a time, so I guess I really don't have a problem, because if it only takes 2 weeks for the cravings to subside than I am ahead of the game.  Thanks again.

[rodewc]

Sue, that is complete and utter BS. I call a spade a spade. Thomas is dead on. There is no excuse for an excuse. Unreal. I feel like I have read/watched an episode of SNL, or at minimum listened to one of my kids' lies (x-cuses) for myriads of things. Are you 4 real? I think not. Wake up. You are in for major misery. If this is harsh, so be it.~

[oxic]

I certainly am not going to beat you up for using; but just for calibration purposes.........you are my mother-in-law, twenty five years ago.
Now at 51, she doesn't even have a pot to **** in, and virtually everyone has cut her out of their lives, but she could stop anytime.
She's had to go thru the worst detox and follow-up, cause her "casual" cocaine use led perpetual coke use to vikes and a lot of other goodies, but she could stop anytime.
Her family wouldn't even take her in, from staying in the equivalent of a crack house, but she could stop anytime.
She's lied and hurt abolutely everyone she has come into contact with to feed that vorascious appetite for coke, but she could stop anytime.

She'd like to tell you this first hand, but she has just made a 22 hour bus trip back to her hometown, to try and make amends with her parents, that want absolutely nothing to do with her, and finish filing her bankruptcy(sp?), but she could have stopped anytime.....

Scaring you will never prevent you from doing what you gotta do, but, holy **** are you in for a destructive future with that ****!!!

percs
(I've also watched first hand, as coke swallowed up a couple of my close buddies: one serving 5 years for selling;; and another former power-lifter/athelete, who never leaves his bedroom, to be with his blow, bigscreen TV, and beer)

[Chezz2]

Percs,

What a compelling story you tell. Of course those of us that have been here and "there", know the situation you went through first hand.
What a way to describe what a "hell" of a life someone can lead through "but...I can stop anytime".

I hope she gets the point before she becomes yet another MIL, battling the same issues as yours 20 years from now. Statistics and human intuition tell us it is inevitable, unless she gets the message now. And what a message you portrayed.

I hope she gets the point and realizes that is the route she will chose if she continues down the road she is on...

Chezz

PS Nice to hear that you and the wife will be able to have some "alone" time in the coming weeks/months ect.
I hope your MIL continues on the recovery path she is going down and that life treats her well. We all know she has led a pretty hard life with the addictions she has.

[peaz]

Powerful post,  guy.  It's these types of "real-life" anecdotes that bring it on home ......I was shaking my head in disbelief throughout the entire post; not that I didn't believe your account.  Rather, because I knew damn well it was true. We addicts are a ******-up lot.......but it doesn't HAVE to be that way. Lots of us are living proof.
   Good luck to your MIL , and you and the Mrs. take care.  Love, Peazy

P.S.  Does this mean we won't be having the Reunion in the next couple weeks at your house???

[Erika_Ann]

I have to say something because I have had Rhematoid arthritis now for 20 years. Im 31 and have been through multiple surgeries and therapies trust me on this one. Any harsh drug such as that will eventually deteriate your joints. and the arthritis is already doing that so why would you want to make it worse? I'm not trying to tell you what to do I just have had it so long that i hate to see others suffer with it and do things to make it worse. I am here for you if you need to talk. I understand.
Please take yourself and be gentle.
Erika

[theGolden1]

If you and your fiance are planning to start a family, you will both want to be in the best possible health. Any drug use would be counter productive.(no pun intended) Take the good advice you find here and get out while the gettin'is good ... your life is waiting for you .... Goldie

[finkboy]

IMHO, Coke is worse than any other pill or substance that is mentioned on this board.

I know of no other substance that made me smoke my own toenail clippings.

I know of no other substance that would make you want to sell off a family member, or any other earthly possesion for one more fix.

It is a lethal lolita that will tell you everything you want to hear, and drown out the voice of reason.

RUN, do not walk away from this hiddeous substance.  It damn near cost me my life as well as my freedom.  I was one of the lucky ones, and only got away by moving from California to Texas and joining the military.

As an addict (and we all are, or we wouldn't be here) there is nothing I screwed around with that had a hold on me like Coke.  You can tell yourself different, but you would be lying.

Play any tape out to the end with cocaine and let me know how it turns out.....

[Duragesic idiot]

I just have to ask, "smoke your own toenail clippings"?? Is that a joke or slang or something or do people do it for some reason? Defintaely not judging here, had my run ins with whitey, got down to 82lbs(my mom said I should stop doing so much aerobics! Ha!) I went for a commercial for an angency that had used me several times in the past, they took one look and sent me home.
That's not even a bad "life wrecking" coke story, but it's mine.
Opps, got off on a tangent, so what about those toenail things?  I'm really curious
The idiot

[finkboy]

When I started to Freebase, we ran out.  I then combed the carpet on my hands and knees and found something that looked reasonably like a piece of crack.  It was not.  Nuff said....

[Roxy30mg]

Wow, cocaine now this is a drug I've had way too much experience with.Whe I first started using coke it was back in the eighties. I started sniffing it. This seemed harmless enough at first. There seemed to be no problem controlling how much I used. Then as time went on and my casual sniffing graduated to cooking it up and smoking it, everything changed. The pipe was in control from that time on. While there was no physical addiction, there was a overwhelming psychological addiction. It was almost like the pipe was God and you just had to obey it's call.
I was also selling coke at the time so I always had all the quantity I needed to keep useing and keep useing I did. I would average useing at least three days in a row without stopping. Then the only reason I stopped was because of exhaustion and sleep. Then when I woke up it started all over again. It was a never ending cycle. I really didn't even start to enjoy it till I hit the second day of bingeing each time. The first day you are too wired to enjoy it. You can actually here your heart wanting to blow out of your chest from beating so fast. Anyway when I got to that point there seemed to be no way out.
I actually saw cops dressed as garbage men taking my garbage from in front of my house and leaving all the other garbage on the street. I still would not stop. Two weeks later I was raided and arrested and forced to quit on their terms. I guess I can actually say that the police rescued me. God knows if I kept up that life style I would have probably be dead right now.
Well, let me shut up I could go on forever there are so many things to say. The point is that you may think that you can quit at anytime but, sooner or later you'll find yourelf just like I was. Totally out of control with the pipe controlling your every move. I was lucky that I had enough coke on hand to keep me happy, otherwise there is no telling to what extent I would have gone through to keep up my supply. I had a lot of desperate people buying from me at that time. I'm very sorry for being that person to supply them but, I admit I was actually sicker than all of them. The only difference was I had all I could ever want. But in the end nothing lasts forever. I'm asking anyone with a Coke problem to quit while they can. It's really not that hard. There is no physical withdrawals just  psychological. If you can stop for a couple of months or so and keep your mind off it you can do it. Watch out for those dream too. It seems so real at times. Sorry I'm just starting to remember things. Good Luck and I know you can give it up if you want but, you have to want to.

[lilele12345]

I just found out my husband is addicted to cocaine. Please help  I am ready to put him out.

[Kevlar1212]

Hey sweetheart - sorry to hear about your plight.  Right now you're obviously ticked and the easy "knee jerk" reaction would be to just kick him to the curb as you've mentioned.  
I personally do not have a history with cocaine, so I'm no expert.  But if you read the posts above, you will see that there are plenty of people to talk to (however, and I mean no offense to those I'm about to rub wrong, I'd steer clear of those who state "I can quit anytime I want to").  I have an addiction to pain medication, and my wife and I are also going through a similar situation.  She found out I was addicted, and she was going to kick me to the curb.  But she's staying with me, and that is just what I need.  I wouldn't even bother quitting or trying to quit if she just left (with the kids no doubt).  That would pretty much "seal the deal" for me and I'd most likely continue to use just to keep myself from having to deal with the fact that my marriage broke apart.  

What I'm getting at is that I think you should try to be supportive, and work through this with your husband.  He'll be dealing with plenty as it is, trying to fight this monkey on his back.  Any added stress would probably do more harm than good.  It's obviously not fair for you to have to deal with this, but these are the cards and now it's time to play the game.  Give him a chance to make things right before you put him out.  Smile at him, hug him, and show him that the love you share is above all this ****.  

Those are my thoughts on the matter.  I wish you and your husband the best of luck.  Please keep in touch, let everybody know how its going, and please ask for help/advice.
my thoughts and prayers - kev

[tts41]

the worst possible thing you can do is kick him out, remember your highs are high and your lows are sooo low that you need or think you need a pick me up, i am a coke addict of six months and the only remedy i have found is that i finally told my girlfriend on the 17 of oct.  and i want to stop sooo bad because i really did find something i love more than coke,  some of us just learn the hard way.  once he has kicked it i promise you will be treatrd like a queen because it really shows what extent you will go for him, and he will never forget the hell he put you through BUT YOUR STILL RIGHT BY HIS SIDE, leaving is weak and nobody wants to be an addict,  it will be hard but you both willbe so proud of your accompishment !!!!

[tts41]

the worst possible thing you can do is kick him out, remember your highs are high and your lows are sooo low that you need or think you need a pick me up, i am a coke addict of six months and the only remedy i have found is that i finally told my girlfriend on the 17 of oct.  and i want to stop sooo bad because i really did find something i love more than coke,  some of us just learn the hard way.  once he has kicked it i promise you will be treatrd like a queen because it really shows what extent you will go for him, and he will never forget the hell he put you through BUT YOUR STILL RIGHT BY HIS SIDE, leaving is weak and nobody wants to be an addict,  it will be hard but you both willbe so proud of your accompishment !!!!

[tts41]

ooops sorry for the double post, i just got back from the basement and did about 4 large lines of whitey,  so if you really want to be as stupid as me and lose all that you worked for, just keep telling yourself that you are a recreational user,I was to, now here I am up all nite trying to stop people like you from going any further, 6 months ago i was happy, i was a self made millionaire at 25, went threw a nasty divorce that weed helped create, bounced on my feet again and now after my divorce at 27yrs, i bought into realestate again and made a comeback from the maniac, my options were sit and cry about it or work smart buy property, and show up at the ex's house in my new cadillac with my hot girlfriend, now really what hurts the ex more, not only that but i have 2 little boys and i am their only male role model and they will be strong and independent and respect everything they work so hard for,  sounds not so bad so far hey.  But also with money comes fun, you can choose what kind of fun you have but all I now is that i am the worlds biggest hipacrit because, thanks to this **** I have a dime size hole in my nose, dont stick to plans, accuse the love off my life of things she would never do and shut the world out, yes i still have my property but as of today I found out i have 300.00 dollars in my account, i owe almost 4000.00 dollars in child support which i never faulted on before, at risk of losing my job which pays very well thanks to my past hard work, my girl is by my side but  only for so long before she is gone im sure, i am so close to my to 2 boys and their mother has kept them from me for 2 months(she doesnt even know about this ****) and it hurts so bad, so i go get more junk and i dont fight for the kids like i normally would, why THEY DESERVE A HEALTHY FATHER AND I AM A DISGRACE under this evil spell.  I dont care to collect rent, I took my love to San Antonio just to get away and within 6 hours i found the shyt and left her at the hotel by herself, I am such a man HEY, to hurt someone, anyone, just to party, I am now a self proclaimed loser that is wanting his life back and needs everybody out theirs help!!  please do not sugarcoat anything i am strait forward and i know I F@#KED up so tell it like it is PLEASE!!!  so if anyone else wants to be a so called recreational user this is the life you have to look forward to!!  Like I told my girlfriend i have never lost a fight before and I WILL NOT LOSE this battle!!!!  I Will write regularaly now that I found the site for me and I promise to be honest to you all, I gave my girlfriend my password and nickname so she can check up on me,  maybe she will write once in a while, i m tellin ya when you find something you love more than coke YOU WILL STOP TOO, all the best to the fighters out their we will succeed and maybe one day meet and celebrate the biggest victory ever!!!!
,
O YA, THIS ALL HAPPENED WITHIN A 6MONTH BINGE and i am now up to a 200.00 dollar a day disease, not including the plastic surgeory needed to fix my F%!KING nose,  and dont ever feel sorry for me i made my bed now its time to get clean so i dont die in it!!!!

THANKS FOR LETTING ME VENT EVERYONE AND PLEASE RESPOND WITH ANYTHING !!!!

[Needhelp59]

My heart breaks for you!  I am watching my sister go thru what you are describing, but she is in total denial.  My problem was xanax, and my husband was wonderful.  I don't think I could have gotten thru without him.  He actually was the one who called my doctor to start the withdrawal process.  He had mentioned it to me before and every time I denied it.  When my doctor confronted me, he told me how concerned my husband was and how much he loved me.  That made me determined to succeed - that and my beautiful daughter.  Anyone going thru this needs support.  That is what I want for my sister but she keeps pushing me away.  If I can help you in any way, please let me know, and if you have any advice on how to deal with my sister, I would appreciate hearing from someone who has been there.  God bless.

[kcrock1]

Okay..I met this guy about a week ago and we get along intellectually very well.  WE are also attracted to one another...we spent the entire night/overnight 'talking' and he disclosed to me that he is a recovered cocaine addict.  He also disclosed to me that he has spent 3 years in the penitentiary for drug charges.  He told me he had hit his 'bottom'.  Okay,I was happy he was honest and in turn-I ran a background check on him to be 'sure' he was saying all that was true and it was!!!  Okay, so he is interested in 'dating me'.  He has 'goals/aspirations'.  Okay.now remember here I am a divorcee mother of 4 wonderful awesome blessings(sons) and 33yo.  This man is also my age.  I told him I had to 'think about it and digest all this information'.  I also told him that I am a critical(non-judgmental) person and that IF I would decide to 'date him'-he'd be under a microscope with me, for a long time to come and that I could NOT bring him around my children - at least for a LONG time!  He was kewl with that.  He also told me though, which bothers me some and I told him that too, that he does still 'use' 1-3 times/yearly but is NOT addicted.  That's what he 'says'.  So, I'd like any insight anyone could give me on this?  I have never been an addict to any drug or alcohol other than cigarettes!  I do believe in people recovering completely and making a turnaround in their lives.  I am an optimistic person, just not sure on this!

Thx in advance,
Karen

[hillary5]

Hi there and welcome .. you may want to post this as a new post ... sometimes they get overlooked since this one started 4yrs ago ... you'll be able to get more responses from others that way .... just click on the back to forum button on the bottom and post a new thread ... copy and paste your question and you'll be all set ... good luck .. .peace!

[Pyramaze]

Wow. Where do I begin with my story? Let me begin fast forwarding the little things and tell you about the results of my 2 year use of crack. I ended up losing 2 of the best jobs I ever dreamed of, losing 2 cars and getting my 2nd DUI which costed me 10,000 dollars. The crack costed me alittle bit over 10,000 dollars as well over a 2 year time. Let me just say that I thought I would never sell my car or my trade in my 2,000.00 dollar keyboard piano for crack. Nor did I never thought I would smoke this stuff in my mothers' house and start smoking it alone. It never started out this way until the last month of the 2 year time.These are the results and now I know that crack does not care! I am a Christain and to think blowing such evil smoke in my mothers' house?, the disrespect and disgust I feel for blowing the smoke, not caring if she would find out. Crack makes you NOT CARE and eventually, you will do something stupid like me, selling your valued possessions. It's like getting away driving drunk or driving on a revoked license, you will get away with it for awhile until the cops get you, unlike crack, you think you are a recreational user only to find out that now you are selling your car for it. Boy, this was a awakening for me. What I put my mother through, when I was trading my keyboard, she was crying and there I am telling myself I'll deal with the hurt later. I think I 'm done grieving, I can't cry anymore and I'm starting to get my "fun" interest back. Also, the dealer I was getting crack from was starting to rip me off and poisoned me. The last stuff I got was cut with something I don't know about that put a big strain and pain on my heart. After the first hit, I knew it was cut but I still smoked it all. I am still feeling the sore and pain on my heart. I think it was rat posion. In the end,maybe it all turned out for the good, who knows if he didn't posioned me, I would still be giving him business.

[Eliza93]

I'm completely heartbroken.. I'm so on the verge of giving my boyfriend of 1.5 years and whom I plan to marry an ultimatum (sp.).  I've been with him through his highs and lows (I don't use, don't want to see it and definitely don't want to see him on it) - we live and work together.  I understand from some of the people that have posted that addicts need support.. he started going to group counseling, but bc he owns his own business he says he couldn't make the 3 days/wk for 3 hour meetings.  He takes breaks from using and he just started again.  I'm totally at a loss of what to say.. he needs to go to counseling and I need some committment to getting clean or I can't go through this again.  His lows are sooooo low.  What do I do?

[john229]

I am 22 years old and last week I ended up in the emergency room after having a heart attack. Thank to my friend that drove me there fast I'm still alive. All the tests showed that it was due to cocaine. I was a chronic user the past year and I was doing cocaine almost every week 2-3 lines each time to stay up and study. I never thought it would be so dangerous cause I have always been strong and healthy and I'm only 22. All I wanna say is stay away from the drug, you never know when it will be your turn. It is not a matter of if but a matter of when. Do not underestimate cocaine.