using cocaine

i use cocaine when i am at me lowest point; can anyone suggest a way forward....   plrase help me...

[IBKleen]

Hi JS and welcome to the community!

Just the way you said you "use" cocaine tells me that you know it is a problem in your life. I think the first thing you will need to do is stop. From there it would be a good idea to find out why you are using it?? What is it in your life that you feel you are missing or what is it that you are trying to hide?

What do you think?

[gizzy32]

I just got back on here and saw you posted another thread just under this. Try to keep it to one post if possible so we can help better.

My DOC is cocaine, but I am addicted to all drugs. How long have you been using? You made a big step here asking for help. For me to quit coke, I needed a near death experience, I had to change my lifestyle, needed to get support and be honest about my drug use. What are you willing to do to stay off this? Glad you found this forum, it's a great support group. Do you have any more info about your drug use, so we can help better.

[JohnSutherland]

Giz

i have been doing this for the best part of 30 years...  its taken a terrible toll.

Already divorced from previous marriage for things that i am not proud of. Infidelity on a grand scale of things. All because of coke. Peer pressure etc...

Coke was rife in the industry I worked in. (IT Sales).so couldn't avoid it.

Still being pressurised by associates to take this stuff and I dont want to.

Where I live, its just too easy to get. 1 phone call does it.

I would do anything to stop but I cant. Too many things around me to keep me going.

JS

[FassFeat]

If you want it bad enough, nothing can stop you. No one here will judge you, as we are all in the same boat. But we are all professionals at BSing ourselves. For me, it got to a point that I didnt care what I lost (job, marriage,etc) I had to get clean, I will deal with fall out later. If you stay in current industry, you have to assume that there are others that are sick and tired, you might start a movement. It certainly wouldn't be inappropriate to let the regulars know what you are doing so they won't tempt you. Take care of yourself.. at this point everyone else can care for theirselves
I am glad you are at least contemplating sobriety. There are people dying everyday, don't take the chance of being a statistic. We support you.

[mentalmary]

i hear ya on the ability to get it....i am currently dealing with an addiction of my own i was in a realationship for 10 years from 15 to 25  we sold everything i could just walk to the next room and take my pick...i left him met my husband and guess what started on my own and have a bigger prob than ever..so my point here is you can ALWAYS find away to get it...but do ya REALLY want it (telling myself this too)...my father OD on shooting cocaine and sniffing oxycotin 6years ago ..sometimes i wonder if we get used to the chase the pain etc and it becomes an addiction too

[loveJwhite]

I went so far as quitting my very good job-the drugs were too accessible, I knew as long as I worked there I would never quit. That's how bad I wanted to get away from it....in the meantime, my husband and I opened up a screenprinting business/clothing boutique and we are doing something we love.

[gizzy32]

Like I asked you above, what are you willing to do to get off this roller coaster? You said your willing to do anything to stop, but you can't. YES you can if you want it bad enough and get some help. I know how awful those coke cravings are, but they get better with time, honest. You asked for help here, but it sounds like your not ready to quit. I wish you the best and hope you get clean, life is so much better without drugs. Take care and be safe man

[JohnSutherland]

Giz

Thanks again for replying.  YES I DO WANT TO GET OFF THIS STUFF.

I have not been entirely honest with everyone. I am also addicted to codiene/paracetamol 30/500.

When using the coke I cant sleep and to get down I take codeine. Normally 6 at a time.

It a vicious circle that I cant break.

Thants why I need help.  Fast.

JS

[shadow740]

Opiates are harder to get off of than blow.  I used to be an addict and I tried every drug under the sun.  You could have put a bag of blow in front of me and I'd still pick the opiate--even shrooms.  It's just not my drug of preference.  That said, i'd try the cleanse method of juicing out.  it doesn't take the same toll on the body as a painkiller so thank God that coke is your drug of choice.

Get someone willing to help you detox and do it in a long weekend.  Prior to  i want to you to go and ask everyone what you're like on blow.  Write it down.  Remember it when you think of picking the stuff up again.

Mental addictions are easy to get over if you obsess on something else...exercise, food, love...

I still say go see a doctor to anyone trying to get off anything.

[gizzy32]

You said thank God your drug of choice is blow? Are you kidding me? Ya coke you don't have to withdrawl (withdrawal) from like opiates, but the mental addiction to blow is way worse and coming down is hell. Ive come off a large amount of oxy's and withdrawls were so painful, but I would take that any day rather than getting off coke in a heartbeat.

For any addict, the mental part is way worse than the physical by far, the physical don't last. I'd take coke over any pill when I was using, we are all different.  

John, keep posting, you can beat this and we will give you support along the way:) Cheers.

[shadow740]

Yep.  I realize that sounds cold, but...Not to scare anyone on here or make them feel defeated, but opiates can change your body in such a way that you sometimes can't go back.  

I've dealt with cocaine users in my job, had friends who were coke users, and they need to thank their lucky stars that their bodies won't try to kill them rather than let them go.  When you are on cocaine your body wants you to stop.  Your heart wants it, your cells want it, your nose wants it.

John can absolutely get off.  Like any of the rest of us he needs to give himself reasons every day to not do drugs.  I had my family and the memory of my mother passing out as she saw me in the hospital after an OD.  I can still hear the sound she makes in my head.

Another thing that may help you, John, is the fact that if you can score blow you are getting your drugs from a dealer that has a lot of money, IE, a dealer that is being watched most likely by the cops.  Going down with cocaine is going to get you more than a handslap by the judge.

Mending relationships with family and friends--drugs turn you into an *******.  Getting off drugs allows you to be the person they all deserve you to be with them.

I probably sound cold today, but I don't mean to be cold to you.  Drugs make me angry at them and sometimes I turn it the wrong way.  I just had two calls this morning where I had to talk to addicts.

You can get off of them physically without too bad of withdrawals.  You can stay off by having a whole new support group around you--this is important.  You need the right people i your life and the right motivations.

i do wish you luck and many blessings.

[gizzy32]

I agree opiates change the body, no doubt about that. I am not disagreeing with you, just a few things in your last post. Cocaine detroys the body and mind too and fast. Although cocaine overdoses are rare, they do happen and my last overdose, paremedics had to scrape me off the floor and I almost died.  Cocaine kills. Some people hate cocaine and it didn't make them feel good, but I needed it. I am glad to hear your helping others:) Keep posting.

[shadow740]

Ohhhh, yeah.  I never said now that cocaine ODs were rare.  i can shoot a lot of stats on people who OD on blow.  Like I said your body isn't expecting it, doesn't want it, and your heart REALLY doesn't like it.  There are people who are long time users that will just...die accidentally of a heart attack.  

What I meant is that his body will actually thank him for withdrawing.

The mental game...you are right, and I didn't mean to make light of it.  Too many people think that they need blow to be creative, funny, study (my case), or operate.  

You will lose some energy but TRUST me...no one around you liked you better on blow.  You were that guy/girl who didn't stop talking.  You were the annoying jerk,

There are other ways of having fun and existing.  You just have to let yourself find them and that's not easy, I know.

Try this...get a new CD, invite some friends to just go driving.  Roll all the windows down (its still warm) and drive around listening to music and going through drive throughs.  Good free fun.

[hellc@mst]

While i was an opiate addict first and foremost, no drug took me down faster than coke. I didnt even really like it but i couldnt stop myself from doing it until it was either all gone or the money had run out. The only way i knew off knocking the intense cravings on the head was to use heroin. It was a viscious cycle.

The physical withdrawals of Coke may not be comparable to opioids but the mental, psychological cravings are fierce and virtually unmatched by any other drug i have ever encountered with the exception of Crystal Meth. I think people who underestimate and minimise  the hold cocaine and methamphetamines have on their lives do so at their peril.

[JohnSutherland]

Day 1 away from this mess.

I told my wife and asked for her help. So lets see what happens.  Thanks to all;

[gizzy32]

Congrats on 1 day, that is a start. Proud of you man. Stick around here, we will keep you in line and support you along the way. We also give out a ss kickings if your not good, so beware, lol. Hope your wife is being supportive?

[JohnSutherland]

Bad day today..  watching football with friends and offered some gear. back to square 1.

[gizzy32]

Ahhh glad I just got back on here. Ill be blunt and please know this is cause I care ok. If your gonna keep hanging around those that use, your chances are slim to nil that you gonna stay clean. Not trying to be discouraging John, but to this day if I even saw coke, my nose would twitch, no joke, I can smell it and I am just not strong enough to put myself in that situation. Coke cravings are crazy.

You need to stay away from those using, I am not preaching, I just want to see you build some clean time and know you can beat this my friend. Relapses happen, I was the king of them, but please make some changes to stay clean. Glad you posted.

[JohnSutherland]

giz

thanks for being blunt. it helped. I restarted the stopping (if that makes sense) I cant cut it out completely but have downed it to around 8 or 10 a day at the mo. I will see what happens. Thanks for your support. JS

[chico1969]

I'm getting pretty sick of shadow talking the doctor s**t and throwing stats etc. at us here.  This guy JS has come here looking for advice - not to hear that he is LUCKY that his drug of choice is cocaine!!!  That is absolutely crazy talk and it is making me angry to hear it.

Some of us here besides you shadow work in the health field also - BUT if we wanted clinical or theraputical talk we would go to a clinic!

JS - I too was using cocaine and that went onto crack and let me tell you it was not EASY to get off of.  It took a lot of strength and willpower and removing myself from anyone I knew in that circle of friends.  That meant getting rid of phone numbers, address books and even moving.  Crack was the hardest thing I ever had to quit - up until the oxy's - and I still am weak to the blow - and that was over 7 years ago.  

[gizzy32]

Dude, I know shawdow's comment was ridiculous and it bothered me too along with many others, so just ignore it and focus on you. In fact just laugh cause it shows how clueless they are. Focus on you and winning this battle. Take the good with the bad and leave the rest out. Best of luck chico, one day at a time:)

[chico1969]

Yeah, it made me angry - but I'm not letting it take my focus off my recovery.  Just thought I might offer a bit of personal advivce to JS as to how difficult it REALLY is to get off cocaine and/or crack.  Still, I Don't want to hear anyone spewing statistics here on this forum - if we wanted to hear that crap I think we'd go to a clinic instead.

Deep breaths and I'm fine - just had to get it out ya know!! :)

[JohnSutherland]

Guys....  I know where all of you are coming from. You have been where I am. I need all the help I can get and cant turn on anyone right now. Shadow meant well but I can get that type of advice anywhere, I need ENCOURAGEMENT from people who know what its like to get off this cra*. Not lectures. A kick in the rear sometimes, maybe.

Thank to ALL for your help.

Now on to day 3
JS

[chico1969]

How goes the battle today JS?  Just try to stay focused on WHY you need to stop this crap and things will come together.  Remember - with crack and/or cocaine alot of the tempations and triggers have to do with association - that means getting new friends who dont' use, throwing away phone numbers, addresses of dealers or friends who would supply and sometimes even moving out of the area - if at all possible.

Get rid of clothing you would wear cause it was comfortable when high, any paraphenalia and ANYTHING that reminds you of using.  THis goes for us opiate users too ya know - association - a BIG DEAL.

[JohnSutherland]

chic

lost it today.. same old story.. went to lunch and ended up chipping in for gear. g*d help me I cannot get away from the people who are feeding me...........  i work with the for chr*st sake, how can avoid them?????  there jujst treating me as if I am one of them and I DONT WANT TO BE.!

I am in HELL. If I leave my friends to get away from coke then .... I am the weak one.   I cant just leave my job,,, it aint that easy these days...

I am totally fkud,,,,  no matter what i do,,  if i tell my friend to fk off then I am isloated, if I try not to do charlie then I am a weakking...  I cant win here,,

forget about the doc, the company regularly have access to medical reports.. because I am high profile they wnt to know about what my problems are,,,,

guys,,,, please please please advise my on what i do next....

i dont want this cr*p but if I dont do it I will be seen as out of the circle.....

i really dont know what to do...


I am pleading for some sort of way out of this,,,

JS

[cheesystick]

maybe you should go on a vacation. do you have vacation time from work? like a week... go somewhere nice... and get away from the stuff and clear your head. you wont be around the people that use, and provoke your addiction. ive never done coke so im definitely not speaking from experience, my drug of choice has always been oxy. if the physical withdrawls arent too horrible, and its the mental thing that is getting you to relapse, maybe some good time away from everything would help you a lot.
im no expert by any means though.

[chico1969]

Yes, vacation is a great idea if you can swing it.  Otherwise, have you mentioned to your "friends" that you would like to stop using??  If they don't understand that then they really are not your friends afterall - don't you agree?

You are not fkcd - YOU have the power to make the choice of whether or not to use.  Try to stay strong and maybe try to find an NA meeting out there - if you surround yourself with positivity, than things will become clearer as to what you really want to do with your future.  Cause there ain't no future in blow - it ALL ends up going up your nose and that's the truth - I lost everything I had to crack few years back.  You never think it will happen to you, but that is the only thing I could tell you that is certain - if you stay on that sh**.

Good luck and stay strong.  It may not be easy to change your surroundings, than stay above it all and just stay strong.  Nobody can blame you for wanting to stay clean - what is wrong with that?  They are the ones that are wrong, not you - remember that.

Luv Chico

[IBKleen]

If you go on vacation you are taking YOU with YOU. And I don't know about you but I could find drugs on a deserted island. That is a short term fix to a long term problem.

John, to be honest, you seem more concerned about your image then you do about getting clean. Sorry if that sounded rude it surely is not meant to be. I want to see you make it but all I am hearing is you complaining about what you CAN'T do. What is it you are willing to do?

It is hard and it is simple. You have to stay away from the drugs and you have to stay away from the people who do drugs. Are you willing to do that to get your life back? Because there is no magic cure here and you are asking us to give you something we can't.

Ask anyone here how they got clean and I will bet they will tell you that they did it by not using the drugs. I really hope you can do that.

[don1234]

addict to addict john ya gotta want it there aint no sugar coating pretty flowers if ya want it tell yer "friends" to lay low ya needta clean up 4 you yer not feelin it no more if they dont understand they arent your friends i can tell you that from experience.the coke i cant say much about was only casual in the 70's and 80's but the pills knocked my dink in the dirt vacation 2 weeks would be good if ya can and start fresh You can do it I guarantee it im livin proof after you suffer for a few days from withdrawl (withdrawal)  you just keep thinkin about the feeling happening over and over then you might clue in and i for 1 hope you do.friends are easy to find and jobs can come and go you only get 1 life do your best you'll be ok in a couple weeks you'll see make a plan and stand your ground.I pray for your strength

[keith600]

Just my opinion but disagreeing with which drug is harder to come off of or which creates the larger cravings is like arguing about which causes more pain,,a blown disc or a broken ankle. Everyone is differant in pain tolerance,craving, etc. A person stubbing their toe may bring that person more pain then you or I blowing a disc. Same thing with cravings,,a person struggling with obesity may crave chocolate cake more then I do another pill,snort,drink,whatever. Just my opinion though but like all addicts I absolutly am never wrong,LMAO ,,let me say that again LMAO. Its great to see good convos like this,,gl to all

[JohnSutherland]

Guys

2 week vacation... and NOTHING adverse... it will be painfull but I will succeed.  Thank you all

[IBKleen]

Good for you that you are going away and putting down the drugs. Do you have any plans after that or are you thinking that vacation is enough? I hope it works for you but just remember that your best thinking got you here. I have to suggest that you now start relying on people who have a recovery program to share their experience with you and help you to get on the right track.

Either way, good luck.

[loveJwhite]

It was super hard, like I said before....we couldn't even afford to do it, but I quit my job because drugs were handed to me. That is how bad I wanted to quit. I am now having to start over...I turned off the cable and got rid of all luxuries. Yeah, so I'm almost at poverty level now....but I'm clean. I don't regret quitting my job a bit.

[mikchez]

Hello Mr JS
I'm a recovering cocaine addict, The one thing that I heard a thousand times, was Its one day at a time, after I payed my dues relapsing over and over I finely got in my brain,soul,body that I can stay clean one day at a time and I remember that its allot easier staying clean than getting clean. Have a great vacation, one day at a time. Peace/Love    

[JohnSutherland]

I cant do it guys....

I am in Jamaica.... the stuffs really hot here...

Why am I doing this...  I cant stopp... even when i want to.

NOBODY understands what i am going through,,,,,  I chech here from time to time and there is not enough support... not enogh peple care..

This is serious,,,  i am thinking aboyt ending thos pain

I cant go on likethis  ,,, it s now 1 am and I have another 5 hours to bed awake unlless i do a downeer.....  

this could be my last

[gizzy32]

DUDE, calm down and stop snorting. Your high right now. Don't say nobody understands cause I do. I have done more coke than imanginable and should be dead, but it is possible to stop if you really want to and I don't think you do yet.

Yes it's serious and I fear for you. We have asked you what your willing to do to quit and get help and you have done nutting about it. Coke cravings are crazy and once you start, you can't stop. You need help man. We can support you and cheer for you, but the bottom line is you have to do the work. PLEASE get some help for your coke habit, chose life, and you will see all the positive changes to come. Send me a message if you want to talk man, I am on here for a bit again and hate to see you suffering like this. CHOSE LIFE!!!

[gizzy32]

P.S. If your coming down right now or have been using most of the day, you know how bad those thoughts can get, we are not in our right mind at that time. Try to get some rest, if that's possible. Hang in there ok. We are here for you.

[j34]

You know part of the solution is reaching out but ,that is pyhsically. sitting in my head for yrs knowing  i had a problem didnt do me any good  and never for one minute thinking there was a way out!!
Today i am clean 2 half yrs minus 8 hrs,,,, ME a back alley ,crack smoking ,pill popping ,meth addict drunk ...who would of thunk..I had to go to a drug and alcohol counceller and they put me in a place where i could get help,wish i could say i stayed but i did not well not for long ,then i went out again and came back and went to another place ...then again and agian the part is the I KEPT on trying ,I started a 12 step program and cleanned out all the garbage I was carring around, guilt,shame, hatred,restentment and ppl held me when I thought I couldnt do it!!!! they walked with me and loved me untill i couild love myself, A rocky road but it is  worth it .today i am employable, I have my son back in my life who i abondoned on a door step 14 yrs ago ,I am honest ,I love myself, I am trustworthy, I have moments of peace so deep ,I wish I could spread it around the world ,,,,,now i dont know about you but I wonder if this is what you would want instead of .lonliness,paranoia.panic,hatred,control,hopelessnes...Humm what are YOU going do today for YOUR recovery... choose life I PROMISE you that the hard parts are hard but damn the GOOD PARTS ARE GOOD, blessings and hugs j34

[JohnSutherland]

Sorry....  I have been very bad here by worrying a lot of my friends. I have managed to get a hold of what I am doing wrong and am trying once again to stop this. Problem is that its just too fkn easy to get. I ma seriously back in the dfriving set now so lets see what happens. Thanks to gizzy32 and j34

[j34]

Just for today brother,just for today and you are never bad you are sick with a disease of addiction ,and any day clean is a success,never forget that you are a child of this earth and you have a right to be here even when YOU dont think so .breath in and out and remember to pray like you have never prayed before, to who ever ,what ever it doesnt matter i used to say ``who ever you are help lift this obsession from me `` also when i would get a day clean i would thank it as well and in the morn again and it seemed to work ..and then i would call somebody in recovery and set up times to meet them so i wouldnt be alone in my head there is a saying  who was the last person you used with ...YOU so dont be alone hugs for today j34......

[JohnSutherland]

Doing brilliantly. been really good and stayed away fromthe influences.  Thanks to all.