vic & oxy ruined my life

Hi,hope all are doing well,these little white monsters have ruined my life and I dont even do them,my wife has aproblem with them and I can not get her to let me help her,I know she has to be addicted she was doing over 300 5/500 vic & 5mg oxy a monthe for around 6 monthes,after that I dont know ? maybe more maybe less but I know she was stii doing them.It has been over a year now,the more I tryed to help the more she pushed me away,she does not think she has a problem ,but I cant see how she couldn't after that many & that long,I am scared for her,she moved out of our house today,I need to get her help but I dont know how If she wont take the help,this is a very long story so I wont bother you all with it,I just need some help to find a way to get her to take the help I want and need to give her. All things she used to love she now could care less about,I take care of her children,clean,cook,laundry,all of it she does very little,I worried about them now that she has gone,Ill be ok Ill get over it but it could kill her,please any ideas would be great.
I am very proud of all of you who are fighting this bear ! I fought the bear a long time ago and Im sure he is much larger and stronger now,if I can help in any way please let me know

[LadySundown]

Welcome,

There are things you can try but there is nothing you can do until she wants the help. She knows she's an addict but that's hard to say. We are or were all addicts here.

I didn't want to give you my answer, but someone else would have if I didn't.

Maybe you could have her come to this site and possibly she will indentify with us. That is one way that has a chance of helping.

Take Care,....LS

[vicaddict]

Tim is that you???

This is Tracy


:)

[blitz6]

Thanks for the reply,I have been told that before,just thought someone may have had something that SLAPPED them in the face!! I have tryed everything I know,her kids even tell her about how she doesn't do the things she used to,(they dont know thank god).I have been coming here for weeks now, just reading to see if something would click,what has made all of you decide to address the problem you have? In my day the monster was called qualude (sp) lemon 714 ,this new stuff must be real hell,well enough for now dont want to bore you fine folks,just feels good to talk with someone who understands
    Thanks to all and hang in there you all have what it takes to whip this,you just have to dig deep to find it.

[blitz6]

yes it is me,how you doing ? finaly got my password

[ArlingtonAddict]

Hi and WELCOMED.

As the above post, you can't help her unless she wants help. There are structured interventions with professionals that simulate a 'bottom' in hopes it will interupt the addiction and get the person into treatment. This should, however, be under the advice of a professional--otherwise, it BACK FIRES and feels like a 'confrontation'.

As someone whojust used for a year, I can tell you also that these drugs just mean EVERYTHING. I had (have) a good life with friends blah, blah, blah. But, over the course of the year, I started to have to use in order to not feel BAD. Our true emotions are gone (not obliterated but NOT accessible).

I STRONGLY suggest that:

1. You write and post as mcuh as you want here. You are WELCOMED.

2. Try an ALANON meeting or at least look into it on-line as you cannot continue to suffer for her. It's not fair to YOU and, frankly, it allows the addict to not have to worry themselves. The basic instinct is born from love I KNOW but it actuallymakes thinngs WORSE.

Hugs, Jessica

[CATUF]

I don't know that I agree that you can't do anything for an addict until they want help.  The Recovery Professionals I know tell me that the success rates for those who want treatment and those who are forced into treatment are EXACTLY THE SAME.

I can tell you that I did not want treatment AT ALL.  I was using hydro at higher levels than your wife (30 to 40 10/500 per day), before I started into crack at record levels.  I was literally very close to death when my family forced me into rehab.

That was my second rehab (in 6 months) and I will never forget my mother saying through her tears as she dropped me off: "Well, I hope you really want it this time."  I immediately said to her: "You don't get it, do you?  I don't want it at all!  I WANT MY CRACK!!!!"  

I was dead serious, too.  Getting into Recovery was the very last thing I wanted.  Yes I was aware it was killing me; but I did not care.  I took death as a given and was concerned only with making sure I didn't come down before death arrived.  During a few "moments of clarity" I was vaugely aware that my ability to reason was warped and I could get to the point of wanting to want to get clean.  But those moments were not too powerful and they were few and far between.

Ask yourself this: "If my wife was on the floor suffering from a fatal heart condition, would I wait until she said 'OK, I'd like some help now'?" I don't know about your wife, but if those who loved me hadn't ignored my protests and snatched me from the jaws of death 601 days ago, we'd now be approaching the 2nd anniversary of my death, not the 2nd anniversary of my Recovery.

602 days ago I was in no condition to decide what I wanted to do, let alone what I should do.  I was at the very bottom of active addiction.  I was mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually BANKRUPT.  The ONLY thing I cared about, or was capable of caring about, was feeding the beast.  I was in no condition to make life or death decisions about myself and in no condition to decide that I didn't matter anyway to my wife, 4 kids, extended family, good friends, etc., all of whom I thought would be better off without me.  

I'm sure grateful that they didn't wait for me to be ready.  I would have died first.

[vicaddict]

Sorry it took so long! I am still adjusting to this new forum!

I am doing ok...glad to see you finally got your pasword!

Post your heart out now my friend! You also have my email if u need.

Huggs
Tracy