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vicoprofen/hyrdocodone withdrawal
by lanas, Jan 31, 2002 12:00AM
I came upon this cite this morning as I sit here waiting for a call from my doctor about refilling a vicoprofen prescription. I've never done anything like this before (a bulletin board). But I too want to get off this stuff but seem incapable. I have a job I love but that is very stressful. I get up at 4:45 am to work out of my home so that when I pick my daughter up from preschool at noon, I can have the day with her, unencumbered my other things (mainly my job). She is 4 and the joy of my life. Her father takes her to her preschool. I am currently taking about 4-5 per day for migraines; it really helps, but I also recognize that I am taking it now because I need it to exist well. I, like others, have taken Ultram. It certainly will keep the withdrawal symptoms of hydrocodone away, but only causes its own. I am just curious for any responses; I want to quit this, but I know if my doctor calls back and I have a prescription, I'll be at the pharmacy within 30 minutes... I guess this is a cry for help, so Help!
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Welcome to the forum, and to a place where you may be able to start to find the thread to getting your life back.
I too was addicted to vicoprofen, and with the help of this board, got clean. I was taking a lot, due to pain from surgery, but it got out of control.
I have to say, I question them giving you vicoprofen for migraines. Hydrocodone *causes* rebound headaches. I had tons of headaches while on it, and used that as a reason to justify staying off it. Vicoprofen is not a good first line med for headaches. If you have real bonafide vascular headaches, try imitrex or maxalt..they work very well and are not narcotic.
If you are having rebound headaches from painkillers, the only way to solve that is to get off the painkillers. It sounds like you know you have an addiction, and I know all too well that familiar place of wanting to be free , but deep inside not really knowing if you are ready to stop using. It took me months of posting here before I finally was ready to stop, and once I made up my mind, I did it.
So...keep posting, know that it *can* be done. If you are ready, I'd suggest trying to taper down rather than go cold turkey. I could not taper..did not have the discipline...so it was cold turkey for me. It is hard, no doubt about it, but it won't kill you, and it will give you your life back.
love,
WW
If you've already made it more than 24 hours, you were able to sleep last night and you're generally feeling OK, you may be alright. 20-25 MG/Day is not that high a dosage relatively speaking, so if I were you I'd forget about the taper and keep going to see what happens. If you make it through tonight OK then I don't think you've necessarily developed a strong physical dependance on the drug--psychologically is another matter.
Resist the cravings and keep yourself busy doing other things in order to avoid thinking about the pills.
If you do start experiencing flu-like symptoms and are unable to sleep, don't panic. Just post your questions and a lot of folks who've been through this can share their experiences with you and help you get through it.
Caveat Emptor: I am not a professional and am speaking only from personal experience and from reading the experiences of many others. If this really seems like it is out of control I'd take the advice Dr. Steve will eventually give you and seek the help of a qualified treatment facility.
But having read a zillion posts, I think you can do this. Keep a journal of your thoughts and write like a maniac whenever you get a craving...remind yourself why you're quitting...remind yourself how much you love your family and how you're doing this for them.
We are with you and are here for you!
You made the first step. You spoke those taboo words. "I am an addict" or "I have a drug problem". If you believe it you have a spark deep inside that will grow. At times it will flicker, at times it will shine. The spark will turn into a fire, a bright guiding light that will eventually give you the illumination you need to slay the dragon of hydrocodone. Be easy on yourself. Think of the spark as a new friend each mornig that is becoming stronger. Be completely honest with yourself. Whatever you really want you can have. It won't be easy but there is support here and in person and on other boards. You are not alone. We all suffer, some with drug addiction. Keep on the path.
Peace,
Jackfrost
Korg
1. If I had an endless supply I don't think I could ever stop
2. If #1 were true I be dead sooner rather than later
3. I don't want to die sooner, but the way I feel now sometimes I wonder. The depression and mental confussion are playing havic with my well being. I'm in a hole.
Right now I'm scared to death. I have tapperred all the way off for 3-4 weeks clean only to fall and fall harder than the last time. Right now 10-15 7.5's a day somethimes more. I have a great wife, 2 young kids, good job and its slowly starting to suffer. I started 2 years ago for legit reasons and still need them for legit reasons but I have come to abuse them drastically.
Tomorrow, yes another tomorrow, I start a tapper again. The schedule I set takes about 3 weeks. I slip here and there but am able to stick with it fairly well. Thomas recipe helps very much. The real problem is the reason I'm tapperring is because my next refill isn't for 3 weeks and I'll run out by then. I know I need to do it to save myself instead of running my life by when the next refill is. I'm so tied of living like this. I'm so angry at the doc's who hurt me in the first place and then put me on hydro to help me deal with it.
Bottom line is I am an addict and I want to get well. I want to live, I want the confussion to stop. I want my life back. I
am scared. Tomorrow starts a new end which will hopefully be a new begining. Sorry for the long post, thanks for listening.
This board has got me this far, and I thank all of you, my fellow addicts. I think it will help me get thru. Thanks and God Bless. NOD
It's now been 331/2 hours and still no hydrocodone. My mind is feeling clearer then it has in a long time. I don't even feel a craving. My prayers to Jesus are working miricles. Thank you God. This is can be done. This can be done. This can be done. Peace be with you all. Hang in there all. This can be done. Love to all. Korg
Good luck on you plan friend, I will be thinking of you,
JackFrost
Pancake--I had read some of your other postings and thought your life sounds awfully similar to mine. Don't you feel so guilty about your kids some times? I mean, mine is my life and yet I am doing this to myself that affects my life with her. Well, anyway, how are you doing?
It's now 36 hours and counting. It feels good to be this far along. But I know I've got a long way to go. But minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Beating additiction is a journey. Many of the pitfalls seem to be in the ways we kid ourselves. What a long strange trip it's been. But it's also one about learning. About sucess and failure. While I've had many failures, the worst failure would be to give up, and stop trying. I'm feeling good today. The withdraw isn't bad at all right now. So I do feel the weaning has helped, when done correctly. But I know how it can also be a trap. Keep on keeping on. It is doable.
Love to all
Korg
May God Bless and keep all of you safe, and deliver you from evil. Much love.
Korg
Keep up the good work. The hard part, as you know, is still ahead of you. Take good care, Not Nodding tonght, NOD
Korg
I got clean with a mostly cold turkey week from hell, five months ago, with the support of this board. I still get cravings, but I manage them one at a time, and celebrate my freedom from slavery to a pill with gratitude every day.
I would be interested in what your taper schedule was. I never was able to stick with a taper, but many do, and many on this board ask what a good taper plan is. Perhaps you could share exactly what your taper schedule was, for those who are trying to set up a taper schedule that lets them continue to work etc.
keep reaching for freedom!!
love,
WW
I'm writing as the 48 hour mark passes. It feels so great!! Surprizingly, my physical cravings aren't there this time. I don't know why, except to give the credit to God for answering my prayers. It's the only thing that can truely explain how well I'm doing right now. I don't want another pill. I don't feel the need for a pill. It's so so wonderful.
WW - I'll try as time goes on to explain my "formula" as it were, but It's difficult to explain all the day in day out sucesses and failures. The big thing I feel is to not give up. To give you some history as referance, I've been on Vicoden for over 3 years now. In that time I did not "abuse", I feel until around september or october of 2001. How I started abusing, I'm not completely sure. It's like I woke up one day, and found I was taking 10 to 12 10/500's aday. My script is for 4 10/500's a day. I'm on them for chronic pain, due to a back injury.
Once I realized what I was doing, I tried to just stop for a while, which I had done at times I wasn't abusing, just to give my system a rest. I'd have additional pain to deal with, but I think it was needed. But I couldn't stop like I had done. I tried various combinations to stop. I'll just take one, I thought. But that wasn't enough. So I'd still end up taking 4 or 5 at a time. The one at a time thing only seemed to make the cravings worse. Then I went to taking just 2 at a time. That seemed to work for a while, and I got down fairly quickly to 6 a day. I also started keeping a log of how many I took and what the day and time were.
After about a month or so, I was able to get down to 4 a day, but still 2 at a time. All during this weaning process I still felt like **** all the time. For some of this period I would have moments of feeling "fair", but never felt "good" or like "Myself". There were times I would get tired of feeling like **** and would take more then my plan was. Just to get a break. But as time moved on and I adjusted to less and less. It would take less to get me to a semi-normal condition. But I've never given up. I've given in, but never given up.
After one of my receint "giving in" to the cravings, I ended up taking 5 within an hours time, and shortly thereafter had a fall in my home. It was a very strange thing. It seemed to take minutes to just fall down. Like some sort of strange slow motion effect. But it's lingering effect on me has been profound.
As I lay there on the floor I looked up to God and asked for His help in beating this addiction once and for all. I went to bed that night determined not to take any at all the next day. Even if I had to sleep the whole day. Which is pretty much what I did. I hurt, I was restless, I made sure to eat, but would go right back to bed. Then I came to the point where I made it past the first 24 hours. Praise God!! I made It!
So then came the next day. I'd keep saying. I can do this, I made it 24 hours, lets go for 36 ect. It's now past 48 hours and I'm feeling really great.
I'm the first to admit, whatever the "secret" is, didn't come from me. I give God all the credit, and thank Him for it all.
I hope this helps. May God show you how to get to where I am now. All my love.
korg
8-8-7-7-7-6-6-6-6-5-5-5-5-5-4-4-4-4-4-3-3-3-3-3-3-2-2-2-2-2-2-2...... The key is the LOWER THE SLOWER. As you drop 1 pill increase the number of days by 1. KEY - lower the slower and making sure you have enough to do this. The challenge is not tripping up. Generally I slip up once or twice and do a massive blast (10 or so...) then feel guilty and go back on schedule.
Once I get down to my last day, I have a little trouble sleeping but then it gets easier day 2 and so on. After that the hard part starts with the cravings. I never make it to when these end o rat least stop from occurring every 30+ minutes. Someday I will, that or I'll die trying. God knows, I don't want to die.
Have 2 kids, beautiful wife and everything I could ask for... I'm such an idiot. But this addiction fight is so hard, harder than anything in my life i have ever faced. I started ANOTHER tapper today and by God, I'm more determined than ever to win.
God Bless and take good care,
The Nod.
to all of you- whether clean for years, months, days, hours or even just contemplating making the big step- my highest praise to you- you have earned and deserve my respect- remember no matter how hard the road seems- the end result is more than worth it- and also remember- and i mean this as honestly as i can put it- belief in a higher power does help so much-
good luck to all and God bless
vic
Korg
The hard part for me is staying off, I haven't been able to stay off for more that 60 days once clean. Why? Do you think its because I "get around" the bad withdrawal by tappering? Sometimes I think if I did the cold turkey like WitchWoman did that mentally I would never want to go thru that again. Any
feedback on that WW? Do you think this makes sense and helped you stay clean? (I have read your posts for a long time, you certainly have been a help to me) Appreciate any feedback.
Take good care, NOD
(Korg - keep it going!)
I'm starting to feel a slight "cold like" feeling. Sniffles and a few sneezes. But not too bad this time.
Im dealing with more pain, but I'm using my hating pad and will take a nice hot bath and watch a movie while I soak. <I have a TV w/dvd/vcr in my master bath> LOL.
My energy level is improving alot. My mood is generally good.
Nod congradulations to making it to 60 days in the past. That's given me a good long term goal to reach. My list of reasons "not" to take these things grows by the hour. It only shows your smart enough to ask about the "reason"="trick" that gets you back on them. My Prayers and love are with you. And God knows and loves you. He will help. You can do it. YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Lanas Don't be too hard on yourself. And tapering is hard. It has many lil tricks to fowl you up. At least it was for me. The schedule that Nod has I think would have been too fast for me. So if you don't meet that schedule, keep trying till you settle on your own schedule. Even if you reduce by half a pill a week. Celebrate the little victories. But do make a list of WHEN you do take them so you have a visual record of WHAT your doing. Some how looking at the truth in black and white helped me to see the truth about myself. Each one counts. My tapering was not as quick. The important thing for me was to make a step in the right direction. No matter how small, or how long it took I had many failures, but I tried to learn from each of those failures, and to "try, try again". Also know that with the more you do, Being "Super Mom" is a job of tremendous demands "may" make the process take longer, depending of course on many factors. Don't be too too hard on yourself. Post often. Please. And thankyou for your encouragement. Let me know how else I may help you. My prayers and love are with you. God Knows and loves you. He will help. You can do it. YOU CAN DO IT!!!
WW - much love always.
May God show us all, our correct path.
Korg
During the half year I was taking the oxy my neurosurgeon had me on a diet to lose weight prior to surgery. I lost almost 80 pounds and 2 of the three sources of pain went away. I still get pain squarly in C-6, C-7. The neuro will make a surgical decision on that next month.
In the meantime, I am now taking one Lortab 10mg, every 8 hours. While it takes the edge of the neck pain, I still hurt and can't turn left or right very far, making driving difficult. Does anyone know if the hydrocodone will ever recoup it's pain relieving strength, or has a half-year of oxycontin ruined those receptors for me?
Lou
Does anyone know how long it takes for "all" of this drug to leave the body?
Determinded
Korg
Staying tough
Korg
Time for bed. I'll wake up with many more hour of victory. What a wonderful way to start the day. Till then, good night, and may God bless.
Korg
There's alot of evil wrapped up in these things.
On a personal note: I'm at 82 hours clean!!!
korg
I'm writing you with a glad heart as I pass the 84 hour mark!
That's 3 1/2 days without ANY Hydrocodone!!!
Best of all is, I FEEL GREAT!!!
I feel beter then I have in months, maybe years. My mind is clear, my pain is tolerable, my mood is great. What's not to like? I haven't had any physical cravings sence last night.
Gosh, as good as I feel now, If I took a pill or 2, I know I would only feel worse. That's what's so wonderful. I have no desire to take a pill because it wouldn't make me feel this good.
LOL... I'm starting to feel like "ME" again!!!
I pray all of you can feel the freedom, that I'm feeling at this moment.
much love
Korg
I happened upon this board today. I am addicted to Perc, hydrocodone. Last week, for about four days, I was taking 20 mg per day (previously 30, previous to that up to 60, for about 1 1/2 years). I went about 31 hours without anything. Then i took 5 mg. i was climbing the walls, sweating, rocking, and unable to sleep. i was wondering if anyone can tell me how long the acute symptoms last. i am at about 43 hours, but only 12 from the time i took the 5 mg.
will taking the 5 mg make me start all over, or is some of the worst behind me???
any help is greatly appreciated. i want to do this!!!!
klc
http://pub37.ezboard.com/fthenewaddictionmedicineforumfrm10
If it is used just to get clean in between scripts, I believe it can be counter productive and traumatic on the body - just my humble opinion. I hope it can be used as a tool to say goodbye to the dragon of addiction forever. There are good things involved in the recipe that can help. I would add exercise and going to the movies (I know but it is worked for me).
Korg, you have done an amazing thing and I think everyone in this thread is proud, envious and happy for you. I just want you to know that usually after a week or a few weeks a depression can set in. Many folks say the hard part is not the detox (right) but the psychological adjustment that comes after it. So, caring for you as I have come to, I am wishing you well and wanting you to be prepared should the dragon find another way to come tempt you again.
Eventually however, drug abuse is a habit. And once you get a lot of time away from a habit, the less tempting it is to go back.
May we all be there, if we wish, one day.
Peace,
JF
Nod: How's the first day of your taper going. Let us know. Post something so we can root you on. My prayers are with you.
Lanas: why not cut back just half a pill today. count every small victory. I'm praying you'll find a weaning schedule that will work for you. It took me many trys. I'm rooting for you!
KLC: Tapering is hard to do. But nothing about beating this seems to be easy. It seems your abuse was less then mine, but what I found when I would take only one pill was that it made the cravings worse, not better. So after many fits and starts, I started taking 2 at a time as part of my weaning process. But much of it depends on how much your use to, and many other factors. The point I'm trying to make is Yes, you can taper to make it easier. But it also seems to strech out the precess. Any time you can make it a full day without, is a good job. But never give up. If you fail, move on. And Try, try again. I'm adding you to my prayers. I pray you find your way.
Love to all
Korg
Synthetic Opiates: ~~STRAIGHT FROM THE DEVIL HIMSELF!!
Wish me luck!
klc- there is no doubt in my mind that tapering is the easiest and best way to beat the dragon- dont forget that you can use the supplements while tapering just like while going cold turkey- tapering does require self discipline-
nod-- as you stated- WW found that cold turkey was what worked for her- and she has stated many times the memory of that own individual slice of hell has helped keep her clean- and no doubt that is true- but you know tapering works - you have done it before- if you are prone to relapse- you will probably do it- taper or cold turkey- some folks swear by support groups like NA/AA- others have had less success- but dont forget- that forums like this one- and others also can serve as strong support and can help you keep clean- its just like any successful program- you gotta work it to make it work-
good luck to all- and God bless
vic
Well gang, I'm happy, glad, amazed and proud to annouce to you that it is now past the 96 hour mark for me. That equals 4 days. Wow! All I can say is God made it happen. Reading your posts and posting myself has got me here. I get a double bonus to celebrate in just 4 more hours. Then it will be 100 hours clean. I humbly admit my awareness that this is just the beginning. It was really hard to get to the beginning of the beginning. But Now, I can look in the mirror and say, "Today, I start my life with out this drug." or "This drug does not make me happy, it hurts me, so I'll not do something that is going to hurt me." The truth of these words are settling in nicely to the logic centers of my mind. To those areas where we keep the things we know to be true. It becomes a fact. This drug has no place in my life. And I'm glad to see it go. Don't whisper in my ear any more, because I don't want to hear it.
My Mood is generally good. I find myself whistling and doing things more like my ole self. I've even cleaned the kitchen, done laundry, put dishes away, took out trash. Made the beds. Put towels in the bath rooms, ect,ect.
I've had only minor physical cravings today. And in shorter duration then those from yesterday.
My mind is far clearer then it has been in some time.
I'm feeling fortunate to have seemingly escaped, at least so far, some of the more severe symptoms that I experianced previously. And those I've heard others have had.
Sleep is generally good, but not great. Even with 2 trazadone. But I really can't complain. I do sleep.
my appitite is good, and the only pills on the table are vitamins.
I'm hoping that the rest of you are having sucessful days and are on the path to salvation.
Please post and let us know how you are.
Peace, love, and freedom for narcotics, Amen
Korg
At 1:00 am last night, I passed throu the 100 hour mark. It's now 106 hours clean and continuing. It's easier this morning getting out of bed. And the morning cloud isn't as thick as it has been in days past. I do have some chills and cold like symptoms this morning, but I'm praying that they will pass as they did yesterday. I have a slight physical craving this morning, but again, it's not bad. And I'm saying, NO!
The morning pains are there, but only moderate.
As I sip my morning coffee, and look outside, I see it's a lovely day to be alive, and even better to be living drug free.
Love to all, Korg
Why freak yourself out by going to fast? I tried doing it fast at first, and couldn't do it. So my well meaning desire only led to failure. Then a binge.
So I took baby steps when I could do that. I'm sure you just want it to be over with. Don't we all. But don't overwhelm yourself. Do it at a pace you CAN do, and do easily. Why make yourself suffer if you don't have too. If your only taking 4 pills a day, I'd imagine you'll have an easier time then some of us that like me, would take 4 at a time or worse. Thats not to belittle your situation. I'm praying for your sucess. I have faith in you that you'll find a taper that will work for you. And if you fail, Try, try again.
But now that I've been "off" of them now for over 100 hours, I feel that my baby steps and the slowness that I tapered are the reason I've recovered so quickly. Once I finally got to zero, my withdraw pains have been very minimal. So slow but sure, for me at least, is the way to go.
Most importantly, Pray. Ask God to help and guide you. He did, and is still guiding my steps.
much love, Korg
I read your post....You are exactly right. I went to the ER last Fri.: huge chest pains, ears ringing, heart racing I was scared to death. I may my peace with those who were with me and I knew I was going to die. I have NEVER EVER felt anything like that before. Well they rushed me back treated me as a heart attack patient but my heart seemed fine to them except for the racing 200 beat per min. Well, they gave me 1.5 of ativan "push" nitro, and a SHITLOAD of morphine out of a suringe into my iv hookup. I calmed down a little (very little) but the morphine did nothing but make me feel I weighed twice my weight. A few minutes with me still proclaiming my death and my chest being crushed (i was in a total panic)they gave me half a
big suringe full of morphine again. I still knew I was going to die but after that shot I did not give a rats' ass. I was not high...just melancholy. They got the heart stabalized and send me to the coronary icu. They came by every little bit with another 20mg of morphine iv and nitro. I asked the nurse why all the dope? She said chest pain and the headache I will have because of all the nitro. Well I did not sleep and later Sat morning they switched me to Oxycontin and some heart meds etc...Yes, my head was popping open!!! but I had none of my ultrams.....first 24hours then 36, then 48 wow...Was I done?
All I felt was the little zaps! (from ultram withdrawal) Then I was able to go home last night. Still not sure what happened to my heart but the stress test did not show any damage. So, I now have doc appts out the ass. But guess what happened in the middle of last night I woke up on a full ultran withrdawal!!! Sweats, chills, depressed, getting zapped (shocked) every few seconds. So, I woke up, got up, out of bed took a couple ultrams and have no staved off the wd's for a bit. I am now out on the pharmacy search I have a few scripts somewhere that have partials etc (I HOPE).
SO, 2 years ago that much morphine would make me get up off an operating table and go find a Pink Floyd renunion concert and a bag of weed. BUT NOW WITH THAT NICE LITTLE ULTRAM RECEPTOR BINDING, ANTAGONIST PROPERTY EVEN THE JERRY GARCIA WING OF MY HOSPITALS" DRUG GIVING WING COULD NOT GIVE ME A SMILE WITH SOME GOOD DOPE!!! Hell, they were giving oxys and other pills in a little cup handing them to me and walking away, so you know I just had to chew them up oxy,zocor, potassium, digi something? all chewed at once before they webt down the hatch. Two hours later more drugs....later, a big fat oxy that by itself in my cup that I put my teeth into. The nurse saw me and said I thought you had trouble swallowing you should have told us and I could just give you an injection!!!! DAMN, I said to her...You all seem to be very easy going here? She said well, this is a cardiac unit and we have to keep it very smooth and quiet here.
Well I cutting back my ultram but I am still on course to detox....
The little cravings get smaller and smaller and the voices are quieter and mostly silent.
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. I reeeeaaaalllyyy appreciate and need them.
In any case dear friend, hang in there and get yourself a pill cutter. They work.
Keep God in your heart, and talk with him often. My prayers are with you also.
We can agree in prayer and make many wonderful things happen.
If you get a chance you might look at the treads below on "Addicted to Vicoprophine" . You can still see some of my earlier posts from December and January there. You might be able to see just how bad off I "WAS".
Doing great things now!! Just passed the 110 Hour Mark!!
May God see you thru, Love Korg
Sorry for all the typos in the prior post. My musings were done in a rush. I am taking 1/2 the amount of ultram i usually take and feel kind of sick. i am staying the course though.
because friday nights near death experience only verified and amplified my reasons to quit.
I hope you all are right with God All Mighty and have a peace with your family because when the time comes to depart this place (and it will) regrets are not what you want on your mind.
We addicts are open to sudden death at any time. Ao, there is even more a reason to quit. First make peace. Then cope with life with God's help because ultimatley that is all we will have. I do not say this being preachy...Not at all. I was just on deaths doorstep and happened to not enter and I share it with you all. Sorry for all the explicatives earlier and poor grammar but that is a junkies story...horrible but all true.
God Bless
Still a Sunny 1
Lanas: You go girl!! Thanks for the "addaboy". Let me know how your doing and how good your getting with the pill cutter. I'll be watching for your posts with anticipation. Keep a prayer on your lips.
Love to all, Korg
Read your post, and man, do I ever sympathize. I had to go back on a low dose (for me) 50mgs every 8 hours to stop the WDs. I just don't know when this will ever end. at least, like we both said, we probably won't have any problems with morphine or OXYs since they just don't work anymore on our poor ruined brains!
Korg-
You are definately an inspiration to us all! Keep it going - you have gotten through the toughest part with amazing strength (a lot of credit goes to the man above too!) but I'm *sure* you already know that.....
Three cheers for Lanas!!!
Your buddy, Korg
KORG HANG IN THERE!!! U-D-MAN!!!
I WILL KEEP YOU POSTED ON THIS BIZARRE EVENT. I HAVE GONE FROM BANK VICE PRESIDENT LOUNGING AT COUNTRY CLUB TO DRAWING UNEMPLOYMENT AND SCAMING PILLS AT A RELATIVES HOUSE. DOPE DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE. I AM NOW MAKING GOOD CASH AGAIN BUT ALL I WANT IS CLARITY AND NOT CRAVE AND CHASE THIS JUNK SO I CAN BE WITH MY WIFE AND KIDS AND GIVE THEM A BETTER SHOT AT THE GAME OF LIFE THAN I WAS DEALT (NOT FINANCIAL BUT EMOTIONAL...PEACE) I WANT TO LOVE ON THOSE RASCALS WITHOUT FEELING LIKE **** BECAUSE I AM RUNNING OUT OF PILLS ETC...THE WINDOW DRESSSINGS ARE STRIPPED AWAY. I JUST WANT OUT!!! YOUR POSTINGS HERE INSPIRE ME!!!
110 HOOURS WOW!!! I HAVE NOT SEEN THAT SOBRIETY SINCE THE ICE AGE!!! BUT IF YOU CAN DO IT I CAN TOO. I AM NOT CUTTING ANYMORE DEALS WITH GOD. YOU KNOW THOSE (IF YOU LET ME LIVE I WILL STOP ETC...PRAYERS). GOD DOES NOT DEAL LIKE THAT BUT HE IS THERE WAITING WITH ME AND GIVING ME MORE AND MORE CHANCES TO GET IT RIGHT. ONE OF THESE DAYS HE WILL WANT ME HOME. I JUST HOPE HE CAN LOOK AT ME AND SAY "GOOD TRY THY GOOD AND FAITFUL SERVANT, COME ON IN AND REST NOW IT IS OKAY..."
JESS
LANAS
KORG
YOU ALL ARE GREAT
THANKS-
Sunny hang in there. I'm rooting for you. You can do it. minute, by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Whatever it takes dear friend. Get here. Where I'm at is great, even with a few nags from the "Queen ***** Codone". I know, as FACT that taking a pill won't make me feel better. I know, as FACT that taking a pill will give me a short break and then kick me square in the teeth. Well F*#k That!!!
As some of you might be able to tell, I've been at the Board for sometime these days. It's helping. I'm flattered that my trip on the road may help you also. That is an added benifet. Your encouragement is such a blessing and I thank you all so, so much.
Sunny1: About making deals with God. I've learned that doesn't work. I'm sure you've figured that out by now too. But if you come to him with a sincere heart, I know in my heart that he will act on your behalf. There's a great prayer and verses on a lower thread that I replyed to today. Ilayk or Lkayk was the one that posted it. Please find it, I'm sure it will bless you as it has blessed me. That goes for anyone else too that feels the need of a blessing in this time. When you read them I recommend you read them aloud so as to give the words their full force. God's word does not return void. If you don't find it let me know and I'll mail it to you if you like.
Lanas: I'm pulling for you. I'm saying new prayers too. I'm proud of every step you make. May God's Grace, be with you, and keep you safe.
Love to all, Korg
Hello to all fellow addicts struggling with the demon of addiction. I too have struggled back and forth for the last 10 years with all drugs. The most vicious and recently being vicodin or any related opiate. I have two days since taking them. I have got off then on then off then on. I am no longer get the warm feeling of contentment I used to feel. I have dreams about having mass amounts of pills and using them. I am glad that I found this forum. I felt like I was the only one going through the madness. I wish the best to you all, I pray everyday for me and for u. God Bless
one note- and this is so very important- to think otherwise is to set one up for a big, unexpected fall- contrary to what some say with good intentions, or what some might think- going through the hell of w/d's and detox is NOT the hardest part- in fact- if you havent had the experience of getting clean, AND staying clean, then it might be hard to understand the struggle is just beginning- the hard part really starts after you get clean- the whispers of the dragon can be so enticing- so alluring, and so deceptive- please believe me on this, and stay ever vigilant- and ultimate success can be yours.
vic
Korg
No I don't mind the question. The answer is what is perhaps the tough part. No I don't have AA, or NA or any of the normal support systems. That might not be a bad idea. But I'm the cautious type, so I'd need some encouragement in that area.
I've relyed on this board ALOT. Checking it all the time, re reading other posts. And I even found my old posts on here today from December and January on the Vicoprophn thread below.
I'm starting life a new, in many, many ways. The bluntest part of it is because all of my family is dead now. My mom was my last living reletive and she died in June of 2001. I was living in Washington DC at the time of 9/11 and was in town. I could see the Pentigon from where I worked. The day was memerable for me on that day, was the people. I worked in retail there and everyone was rushing to get out of town, but had to stop for this or that in the flood that was leaving town that day. But everyone made such an extra effort to be nice to one another. Everyone I came in contact with was greatly affected. The kindness of it touched me to my soul.
I had grown tired of the hustle and bustle of DC life, and decided sence I had no roots left there. That I would pull up stakes and start somewhere else a new. A new adventure as it were.
So I live in a new area, and only know a very few people here. But I have my Dogs, that are my constant companions, and my Angels here on earth. The people that I do know here and in general to the area, are nice and it's a far slower pace of life. Which for someone with a chronic pain condition, is very welcome.
I have a comfortable home, car and I don't have to work for some time if I choose. But I do work some on some musical projects, and I have a gig in NYC coming up this week end. <yes i'm a musicain>
I stay in touch with those friends I hold dear back in DC on a regular basis. I am single, and have no children.
I like having control over my life, and doing those things that make me happy.
WORD UP: Hear Yee, Hear yee, I just passed the 120 hour mark!!!
That's 5 whole days!!
Thanks for the kind words, and encouragement. Your responces are greatly appreciated. Your praise is too kind, the real credit belongs to God. For without him I'd be dead by now.
Much love,
Korg
As I re-read your last post it looks like yoe efectivly have 180 vicoden ES, either on hand, or awaiting refills. That seems like it would be a good number to detox with. Wean down so to speak. I'm not going to kid you, weaning is hard to do. But it's easier then the horror of cold turkey.
Why not sit down, and figure by your present level of abuse, a way to wean yourself down, so that by the time you reach zero, or before, you can come off of the damn things completely, and with as little of the system shock that oft times happens.
I feel very fortunate once I finally got a taper that I could do, and worked it. That once I finally started the clock, 24 hours, 48 hour, 72 hours, 96 hours, and now 120 f*&king Hours!! 5 F*&king Days!!! WWOOOO HOOOO!!! And It's been a very plesent time for the most part. A few tugs at the sleave yes, But I was able to say "NO" so easily this way. After tapering that long I was able to realize that it would only make me want more, and then I'd have those Crashes that happen. My appitite is good. I've got most of my energy back. And I've got my ole spring in my step again.
Anyway, That's just a loving suggestion, from someone that wants you to be where I am now. Think about it and let me know what you think.
Any others care to chime in on my suggestion to Patty, please do.
Hang in there Patty, I'm rooting for you
Love Korg
Korg
I hope this helps,
Love Korg
Congradulations on your progress. Sounds like your on you way!!
Hey great Idea about starting now. If your already sick so to speak. Why not stay in bed and drain as much of the poisin out of you as you can. The whole point is to go as far as you can, when and while you can.
I'm feeling so good that I'm about to take off for NYC for some club dates there. So I won't be on line for a few days. But keep posting so have lots to read when I get back. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to borrow someone's puter to check in.
Much love to all, Korg
Korg--Have fabulous trip--be good and write when you get back and let us know how you're doing. I have to say though, I will miss you!
LOL.
Keep up the good work. As I say, do what you can, when and how you can. Sounds like your doing great.
Korg
KORG-WAY TO GO!!! U-R-DA-MAN!!!
WELL, I JUST GOT BACK FROM THE MD AFTER GIVING HIM THE STORY OF HOW I NEEDED MORE PILLS. WHAT A JOB! (I SWEAR IF WE TURNED THIS CREATIVITY WE HAVE TO SELL A STORY INTO CAPITOLISM. WE COULD CONVINCE A SENATE SUB-COMITTEE TO RE-DIRECT THEIR RETIREMENT ACCOUNTS TO CONSIST ONLY OF K-MART AND ENRON STOCK...TODAY!) BUT THE DOC MAY BE RUNNING THE SCAM ON ME BY HELPING KEEP ME HOOKED. WHO IS CONING WHOM??? SO, IS THE DOPE LIFE.
HOWEVER, AFTER I SPRINTED TO A PHARMACY AND WAS BROW BEATEN ABOUT MY USE OF THE MEDS BY AN CONCERNED PHARMACIST WHO WAS FLEXING HIS DISDANE FOR THE ADDICT IN FRONT OF HIM. BUT HE FILLED IT AND TOOK MY CASH ANYWAY (THANKS PUSHER MAN). WHILE I
WAS THERE I LOOKED THROUGH A BOOK FOR SALE THAT HAD A SECTION ON ULTRAM AND SUCH AND DESCRIBED HOW IT AFFECTED SEROTONIN AND NOREPINEPHERINE (OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT) AND I BEGAN TO REALIZE MORE AND MORE HOW THIS DRUG HAS AFFECTED MY BRAIN. THESE DRUGS ARE NOT ASPIRINS WE ARE PLAYING WITH...THEY CAUSES SERIOUS CHANGES.
ANYWAY, INSTEAD OF CUTTING OUT OF THE DRUG STORE WITH A "SEE YA WOULD NOT WANT TO BE YOU" EXIT, ONLY TO GET TO THE CAR SO I COULD EAT WHAT SEEMED LIKE A HEAPING HANDFUL OF LITTLE WHITE FOOTBALLS...I STOPPED AND PACED MYSELF. I HAD THOUGHT ABOUT IT BEFORE I EVEN GOT THE RX FILLED. I COUNTED OUT 1/2 THE AMOUNT I HAD BEEN PREVIOUSLY TAKEN (WHICH IS STILL WAY WAY TOO MUCH!!!) BUT IT IS A START.
IT IS NOW 3 HOURS LATER AND I AM NOT BUZZED BUT I AM NOT IN WITHDRAWALS. I ARE TRYING TO FIND THE STRIDE OF WHERE NORMALCY ENDS AND WITHDRAWALS BEGIN AND TAKE ENOUGH TO KEEP ME FROM GETTING SICK. I WILL SLOWLY BACK OFF THIS AMOUNT. I DO NOT CARE IF I HAVE TO SHAVE 0.000001 MG OFF OF A PILL PER EVERY DAY OR SO. BUT I AM GOING TO DO IT.
THIS IS THE 4TH QUARTER AND THE GAME IS TIED I HAVE THE BALL
AND A COUPLE OF DOWNS TO GET GET IT IN. I HAVE GOT TO KEEP GOING AND I CAN ILL AFFORD A LOSS. IT IS NOT ABOUT ME BEING HAPPY OR BEING HAPPY WITH THE FAMILY SITUATION. IT IS ABOUT ME STAYING OFF A MEDICAL EXAMINERS TABLE WITH HIM TRYING TO FIGURE WHY THIS YOUNG PERSON IS DEAD...THIS IS SERIOUS **** GANG. AS ANYONE OF YOU KNOW WHO HAVE FINALLY REALIZED YOU ARE HOOKED AND WANT OUT. AS A YOUNG PARTY TIME KIND OF GUY THERE WAS NO END TO THE FUN. ONLY MOVIE STARS AND ROCK STARS DIED OFF THIS STUFF. WELL, I HAVE A LISTING OF PRESCRIPITIONS DISPINSED TO ME THAT WOULD HAVE MADE ELVIS BLUSH AND WANT TO GO WITH ME TO THE DOCTOR.
SO, I AM TAKING IT MINUTE BY MINUTE NOW. NO PLANS FOR THIS LATER TODAY (JUST WORKING THROUGH THE HOUR) GIVE ME YOUR PRAYERS AND TO MAKE SUNNY1 A REAL SUNNY ONE (PERSON WITH A NEW DAY...OPTIMISMTIC, A NEW LEASE ON THE DAY) I KNOW IT IS OUT THERE.
KEEP POSTING AS I GET POWER KNOWING I AM NOT ALONE. I USED TO THIHNK NO-ONE IN THE USA IS SCAMING PILLS LIKE THIS AND TAKING AS MUCH AS ME ETC...NOT RIGHT, I FOUND A BUNCH AT ONE WEBSITE. AND THERE ARE MANY SITES OUT THERE AND I WOULD THINK ALOT OF ADDICTS DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO SURF THE NET. WHO KNOWS, WE MAY BE THE SILENT MAJORITY. MANY TOO ASHAMED (LIKE ME) TO RAISE THEIR HAND AND FESS' UP. HELL, I EVEN HAVE TO ERASE THE HISTORY EACH TIME I POST SO I WANT BE "FOUND OUT". SEE, I HAVE ALREADY GOTTEN "CLEAN" MONTHS AGO AND NO-ONE HERE HAS KNOWLEDGE
(I THINK) THE MONKEY IS BACK AND NEVER REALLY LEFT. BUT THINGS HAVE CHANGED. I HAVE SHARED MY PLIGHT WITH SOME BUT NOT MANY. BUT I CAN OPEN THE TRUTH GATE HERE. AND THAT IS A GOOD THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOD BLESS ALL, FOREVER
Sunny1--ah yes, erasing the history; I do it constantly. I also realized that you have to be careful b/c you can erase the history but if you use the browse buttons, you can see where someone has been (if you don't exit off each time). But I totally understand. I, too, have had the concerned pharmacist... would not refill a script for 30 vicoprofen after having filled it 6 days previously. Called my doctor--who in turn called me. But he was pretty good, though I think I have been given a subtle "warning" that it will not be refilled at the current rate I'm taking it. So I'm going to try to limit my intake and really get off this stuff in the next two weeks. I am fortunate in that I have not gotten into taking as many as some, but the addiction is just as strong--I think it is simply that I was hooked on lortabs after three knee surgeries; then would get occasional vicodin for migraines. Then my old doc (I moved recently) wouldn't give me a script for vicodin (except on rare occasions) but would give me 120 ultram at a pop. So for two years, I've eaten ultram with an occasional vicodin supplement. In the past three months, I've gone back on the hydrocodone (and am not taking any ultram now). But I'm doing okay so far and I've only had one today (and it is almost 4 pm). I'm going to take one more and maybe a third but that WILL be all today. I'll probably binge tomorrow (I hate that and I hate to admit how weak I am), but I really think I can go back to 3 the following day without much pain. The problem with the weaning is that you don't get any of the "good" feeling, you just keep withdrawal symptoms away. And I mean "problem" in that for me, that's the hardest thing to give up... Sunny--stick it out; you can make it. And I understand well many of your feelings. I asked this previously, but anybody else out there have major guilt problems from stealing drugs from friends and family?
A freindly suggestion. Choose your words with caution, so as not to predestine the things you will do. Such as. "I'll probably binge tomorrow". Maybe you won't also. Leave the door open to tomorrow's posiblities. Words have great power, so much so that people don't fully understand. Remember, "And God Said...." And with His "Word" created the world.
I'm praying you won't binge tomorrow. And If you don't, then I'll be extreamly proud of you. If you do, I'm still your buddy and will love you anyway. But I'm choosing to use my faith that you won't binge tomorrow, and you'll emerge, even stronger then before.
Hang in there.
Love Korg.
P.S. As of 6 pm tonight, It will be 6 days clean
LANAS: I USED TO DO CONSTRUCTION WHILE IN COLLEGE 15 YEARS AGO AND I WAS PAINTING FOR AN OLDER LADY. I FOUND OUT THROUGH OUR CONVERSATIONS SHE HAD TERMINAL BREAST CANCER. I NEVER REALLY KNEW IT BUT I HAD ONLY WORKED FOR HER ABOUT 3 HOURS A DAY EVERY AFTERNOON FOR A WEEK. SHE KEPT FINDING ODD JOBS FOR ME TO DOAND THE DAYS TURNED INTO WEEKS. I REALIZED SHE WAS JUST "BUYING" MY COMPANY. (AS A RULE MOST ADDICTS I KNOW HAVE A REALLY GOOD HEART AND WILL LISTEN TO AND HELP SOMEONE IN NEED . I SEE MORE COMPASSION OUT IN SOME ADDICTS THAN I DO IN MANY PEOPLE WITHOUT SUBSTANCE ADDICTION PROBLEMS...ESPECIALLY WHEN OUR DRUG SUPPLY IS OKAY AND WE ARE WORRIED ABOUT RUNNING OUT ETC...) SO, I WAS PAID FOR ONLY WHAT WAS FAIR AND REFUSED MORE MONEY. I ACTUALLY WANTED TO HELP HER DO ANYTHING I COULD. WELL, SHE HAD TO DRIVE TO GET CHEMOTHERAPY AND TO THE DOCTOR AND DRUGIST ONCE A WEEK. HER LITTLE CAR HAD NO WORKING A/C (IT IS HOT HERE). WELL UBENOUNCED TO ME SHE TOOK THIS 15 YEAR OLD CAR TO THE NEW CAR DEALER AND THEY RIPPED HER FOR $350 AND STILL DID NOT FIX IT. WHEN I FOUND OUT I WENT TO THE DEALER AND RAISED HELL. THEY WOULD NOT BUDGE. SO, I WENT AHEAD AND FIXED IT ON MY OWN AND TOOK IT TO HER. I TOLD HER THE DEALER MADE IT RIGHT. OTHERWISE SHE WOULD HAVE PAID ME MONEY SHE DID NOT HAVE.
DURING THIS WHOLE TIME I WAS PINCHING HER PAIN PILLS. WHAT A GUY I AM. I JUSTIFIED IT THINKING "WELL, SHE CAN MORE (AND SHE DID) AT ANYTIME" AND MENTALLY MT GOOD DEEDS BALANCED OUT MY THEFT.
IN THE END SHE DIED AND I PRAYED SHE DID NOT HAVE TO SUFFER ANY MORE THAN SHE NEEDED TO BECAUSE OF ME AND MY STICKY FINGERS. I HAD TO STOMACH THAT. I REGRET IT BUT I HAVE LEARNED TO LET THINGS LIKE THAT GO. REGRETSY KEEP YOU IN PAIN IF YOU CANNOT DROP THEM AND GO ON. I STILL LOOK BACK AT SOME THINGS AND AM DISGUSTED BUT AS QUICK AS THOSE THOUGHTS COME I HAVE TO MOVE THEM OUT OF MY HEAD. OTHERWISE, I WOULD GO AFTER A HIGH WHERE THE PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE ARE NO BIGGIE...BUT THEY ARE BIGGIES AND SUCH IS LIFE. THAT IS WHY I RELY ON GOD. I GIVE THOSE BURDENS TO HIM.
SO, LANAS DO NOT KICK YOURSELF. IT ONLY CAUSES MORE GRIEF. YOU ARE TRYING AND THAT IS ALL YOU CAN DO. THERE IS NO MAGIC PILL. BUT TALKING ABOUT THIS THIS KIND OF STUFF AND REALIZING WE HAVE ALL PRETTY MUCH BLAZED THE SAME TRAIL MAKES LIFE A LITTLE EASIER. WE ARE NOT JUST A LITTLE SNEAKY JUNKIES HIDING OUR BULLSHIT BEHIND A MASK. WE ARE JUST ONE OF MANY WHOM GOD MADE WHO ARE TRYING TO GET BACK ON THE RIGHT OR BETTER HER PATH.
I HAVE TON OF "HITTING OTHERS' MED CABINET STORIES" ONCE OR TWICE I HIT THE JACKPOT. HELL, IF I HAD FRIENDS OR CO-WORKERS WHO BROKE A BONE OR HAD SURGERY I WOULD VISIT THEM PROMPTLY AND WITHOUT ANT GUFF ASK THEM WHAT THEY WERE TAKING, PROCLAIM MY HEADACHE, GET SOME PILLS AND SOME FOR THE ROAD. IF THEY WERE IN THE BATHROOM...WELL, I WOULD HELP MYSELF. ALL STORIES SAD BUT TRUE. IT USED TO BE FUN AND FUNNY, LIKE A TREASURE HUNT OR SPY MISSION. ALL OF THEM EXCEPT FOR THE DEAR LADY THAT DIED OF CANCER.
GOD BLESS ALL!!!KEEP POSTING
I only took 3 vicoprofen yesterday (I didn't binge!). I went without any ambien and slept 9 hours last night. That floored me. I have no doubt I can kick the ambien now. Korg--thanks for your words--you are the reason I did not binge. How is everyone else doing?
just wanted to say this is a great website discussing a secret killer. Unfortunately that is just part of the bad news. This addiction (20 to 24 10/500 Hydrocodones a day) is terrifying and hummiliating.
I am at the point where i dont even get high very frequently i just keep from w/d. I have tried Dr. induced detox, meaning inbetween prescriptions and I am currently facing such a scene in 3 days. I wont have access to any scripts till the 18th. I am so sick in the morning even just after sleeping, I'll shake till i take about six to get well. It is even getting so bad that i have to take a couple during the middle of the night. My life is a nightmare and i do not want to live anymore sometimes. My drs got me hooked i had no idea until it was to late and i went without and got sick. thanks for listening, i am still unclear about what the cocktail is there were some letters in there i could not identify could someone please explain? thanks
Sammey.
Thank you for being brave enough and honest enough to share your stories with us. My own story is mild by comparison, and evokes a since of relief and sympathy. Relief that I do not face the horror that some of you are facing, and sympathy because I now know what I am going through is mild compared to others. In all my life I have never been able to tolerate any Codeine or Codeine derivative. It took exactly 30 to 40 minutes post dosage for me to begin to vomit. That pretty much kept me from wanting meds. This does not mean that I have not been prescribed the meds in the past due to minor surgeries, but the pain was easier to tolerate than the sick feeling. I recently underwent shoulder surgery and told the doctor that I did not want meds. He insisted that something had to be given because this pain would be difficult to tolerate (he was right). I was given demerol injections every three hours for 24 hours then presrcibed oral demerol every three hours for ten days, and phenegrine for the sick feeling and sent home. Oral demerol is exstensively metabolize during its first pass through the liver, as a result it did not work well at all!!. My family doctor suggested Vicoden ES and phenegrine for the vomiting. It worked!
I took it only as prescribed (4-6 hours four pain) for two weeks. Then I tapered to one at six o'clock and one at ten o'clock to allow me to sleep through the night. This lasted from the date of surgery (dec 18 01) until jan 31 02. About a month and a half. When the pain stopped I stopped the meds. I have had no cravings for pills, but feel like S@#t. My doctor is aware of the problem and is helping. Hearing your stories has helped me realize what I am dealing with is withgrawl. I am a drug rep and I have sold XANAX in the past (legaly sold). I can provide some info as to how the Doc-rep relationship should work, as well as an opinion on docs who are "free prescribers".
Each of you should give yourselves Credit for efforts, and go easy on yourselves for failures. You did not get addicted overnight and won't get clean overnight either. Your posts have answered many questions I was asking. Thank you. I hope in some way I can help you in return.
If you read these posts you will find some of the meds talked about and also the "recipe" which help. Please, pull out the yellow pages and start making some calls, while you can do it on your own, I think going from over 200mg+ hydro a day to nothing is going to be tough. You say your new script comes in on the 18th. Hopefully, once you go thru the hell of withdrawal you think twice about getting that script filled. Its a long battle, don't make it longer. PLEASE, seek some help. I truely feel for you. I have been in your shoes. Pray, pray, pray and take it one hour at a time. Let us know how your doing.
Nod
I'm a newbie to this site, but could really use your support & some information... I'm addicted to Hydrocodone & now I'm trying to get off them. I've read your comments about tapering, but my problem is that I don't have a script to taper with! I'm scared of going cold turkey & giving in when things get tough. Any suggestions on what I might try to help deal with the withdrawal? I have a great job & family, & inpt detox is not an option for me. When I wake up in the morning, I've got nothing to take & I'm scared to death. Any thoughts are appreciated...
Anyway, I was taking 50-80 mg daily for about 3 yrs. Today has been very difficult with work & all, but at least I'm home now. If you or anyone, has any "words of wisdom" I could definetly use them. I've been trying to find out about some detox cocktail? Any info is appreciated...
my w/d was put off as i had to go to the hospital with a medical crisis (Legitimate) my illness. However in the mean time i am having to cut way down. it is so hard to focus and i am so depressed. really i was ready to kill myself when i found this site. when i found out depression was a component of this problem it has made me rethink that. i found an old ultram prescription i wonder if that alone, no hydro after this taper would throw me into hydro w/d. I honestly thought i was so alone and ashamed i had no idea this many people are having this difficulty. sammy
http://pub37.ezboard.com/bthenewaddictionmedicineforum
I hope this helps. I'd really like to know your thoughts on it b/c I'm going down this road myself in the next two weeks. I have no idea what is happening with the posting a question. I haven't posted one since I did about 2 weeks ago. Let me know how you're doing.
Sammey--You are not alone--and I was feeling very much like you up until I found this place too. I mean, I've known there are others out there dealing with this, but I have NO ONE I can talk with here. My family would think very ill of me and would probably judge me the rest of my life if they knew (I've managed to be the black sheep repeatedly in many ways... and it's only b/c I've chosen to be more independent than any of my sibs... sigh). Anyway, I'm glad you're going to be cutting back before you go off, b/c it really should help. WHen I went off this stuff about 8 years ago (and stayed off for about 5), I tapered and about all I dealt with was restless legs. I've been told I won't be so lucky this next time, but I'm still going to try to ease myself to eliminate the nastiest stuff. Like I said, I've started the taper now and have two-three weeks to complete it.(If I do it right and don't binge). Let me know how you're doing.
"participated" in a site like this one. I am, however, at a
point in my life where I clearly need some help and direction
from people who understand. I have been on hydros 7.5 for over
three years now for chronic back pain. My doctor prescribes
40 per month for me, so this means I take approx. 2 per day.
I am miserable unless I have these 2 pills, both because of
my back and because, I think, of my mind. The latter, of course,
is what scares me. Anyway, I have been getting static from the
doctor and have the feeling she might cut me off soon. I have
went to the web several times to try to define what "addiction"
is, and always find that people are saying they use 12, 18, 20
or more a day. So I say, "am I really addicted by only taking
2 per day? (Sounds like an addicts response, doesn't it?)
So anyway, this last refill, I was hurting more than normal
and I think I just wanted to test my "strength", so I occasionally took 3 a day and ran my prescription out early. I
have now been 4 1/2 days without hydro. and feel awful! At first, I thought I had the flu: I hurt, am sick to my stomach,
weak, and dizzy (everything is spinning). Hence, this is the
reason I logged onto this sight. This does sound like a
problem, doesn't it? Here is where I need help the most:
my script probably can be refilled in three days. My body
wants it so bad, but if I have a problem, should I tough
it out and try to fix the problem now? Is 2 a day really a
problem? Maybe I really do have the flu. It's just that
those two pills a day allow me to get my house cleaned, do
my job (I teach), etc.: one in the morning and one in the
afternoon -- I can't imagine stopping. Can someone mail be
back as soon as possible so I can have direction before my
three days are up? Thank you very much.
(Just kidding!) I'm on my 5th full day with no hydrocodone, but
am not seeing the improvement some of you refer to after the 4th
day or so. I told my husband that I am scared I might have a
seizure because of the way my brain is firing: very shaky, dizzy, brain "jolts". He still says that he cannot imagine me
being "addicted" just taking two 7.5 per day. I neglected to say
that I also halted my Paxil 40mg about the same time. (I took
1/2 of one today just to try to combat the weird effects I am
experiencing.) I am going to have to call in sick tomorrow because I am so weak and dizzy. What the heck is going on?
I have been taking some Soma (for back spasms), so it shouldn't
be a total disaster, as it is. JUST NOW, MY BRAIN DID THIS VERY
WEIRD KIND OF SHAKE THING WHERE IT FEELS AS IF IT WERE LOOSE AND
GOING TO VIBRATE OUT OF MY HEAD!!!! Would love some more input
as I am totally clueless. I am just a typical middle-class,
mid-western, teacher, housewife sort of type and I'm afraid I'm
going to die!!!! Well, not quite that dramatic -- please respond to the new kid on the block!
Thanks -- blue hawaii
P.S. -- I'm not an Elvis fan, I just couldn't find a password
that was not taken. "Blue Hawaii" was like the 7th one I tried!
Naive--I have been on alot of pain meds the past 3 years because of a seriouse illness. I've been off and on them so at times I have had w/d symptoms. I was on norco for about 2 years & did have the restless leg sensation. I had some klonepin & I took a couple at night & it helped w/the restless legs, not being able to sleep, & anxiety. There are other meds that your dr can give you if you talk to him about what's going on. Hope that helps. Let me know.
Hang in there, Shellbo
Now for me, my first posting and I am a vic addict. I have been taking them for over a year. At fisrt it was the high, I loved it, it was mild and calming and just made me feel wonderful. As time passed, I too raised my intake and am taking (when I can) at least 1 and a half to 2 and a half pills at a time. I was diagnosed last may with fibromyalgia. I now believe that I may have used that as an excuse to keep taking them. When you don't take them, you have pain. I now think it may be just because of the vicodin. I also now wonder if I was wrongly diagnosed because my Dr. had no idea I was taking the vics.
Now that I have admitted to myself that I have an addiction problem, I am ready for the long road to wellness. Just don't know yet how to go about it. I am considering calling my Dr. and coming clean with her and seeing what her recourse would be. By the way, she will not prescribe vics for me, I have found other ways to get them. Or should I try to go cold turkey as my source may be dry? Or do I look up detox centers?
Anyway, I have been reading the posts here now for a few days and they are an inspiration to me, but I have to admit, I still want a pill and will probably succomb... thing is I only have 2 left....
Best wishes to all recovering addicts and those still trying, I will be back
i'm on day 2 so I feel like hell. But I am determined to fight. I take hap ki do so that helps alot. I find that exercise really helps you to flush and sweat the toxins out of your body faster. I was also informed of a natural drug called nux vomica that is really supposed to help with addiction. I think it is similar to valerian root. I suggest that too to help sleeping through the withdrawals, 'cause to me there is nothing worse than the fidgets at night the mental and physical anguish that is withdrawal. I wish only love and light for my fellow addicts. I am glad I have somewhere to go to talk about this. I think there are a many smart and good people here and I want to see you and I enjoy life as sober beings unchained from the grips of a darkness called addiction. A constant inner battle for me. Like two people inside my head constantly battling it out for light for dark. I pray to god for strenght and wisdom in this time of hardship. I would love to talk and respond to anyone who wishes to do so as well. God bless
ash
Ash, what are "hap ki do" and "nux vomica"?
Could you explain what they do?
Thanks.
I'd be happy to:
Nux vomica is an herb that helps with digestive juices, heartburn, basically when you are in detox it can ease the nausea and digestive and/or bowel movement. Also, it apparently is supposed to help suppress physical and mental cravings. It is an herb so it might work better with some and not so good with others. You can find it at most drug stores. It "re-wires" brain chemistries I'm told. About Hap Ki Do. It is a Korean Martial Art. I mentioned it because the last two years I have been taking it, it has helped me to change my life. The disicpline it gives you and confidence as well as physical health is priceless to me. I recommend any kind of routine "something" whether it be boxing,karate,tae bo,fencing,running whatever fits you to your liking. I am tall and slender so Tae Kwon Do and Hap Ki Do seemed like a natural choice for me. Tae Kwon Do is Korean too and is mainly kicking and forms, Hap Ki Do is mainly joint locking, elbow and knee breaks and grappling. I like to do both. Perfect combination. Anyway, If you have any questions or are interested I can give you more information. Me being undisciplined in my life, this has made a tremendous impact in helping me fight addiction. I hope this helps. Good luck. send a message anytime you feel like it, I'll be here for a while!
the ash
Sorry I'm late responding, but thanks so much for all the great information, Ash & Attitude. It's really interesting stuff.
But Ash, I've got to tell you the possibility that I might be able to find the discipline let alone the bare energy within me right now to do what you are doing is just not a great one.
I really admire you, though. And envy you. Really.
I can tell just in the way you post that you're going to do fine. Congratulations, man.
Hey thanks alot for the encouraging words my friend. I have much faith in you as well. I get desperate to try whatever I can to help myself to keep a stable outlook on it all. And congratulations to you too my friend for having the strength and courage to even come to this forum. For me, that is half the job!! talk to ya later man. My best is with you.
the ash
I stand corrected. Nux vomica is a homeopathic. I also researched and found out that when used in certain amounts it actually stimulates the central nervous system kind of like keeping it well oiled!! Apparently they used it alot in the civil war to keep the soldiers clear minded and alert as well as stable!! interesting, no? Anyway, if you know anything else about it please let me know. Anyway take care and my best is with you.
the ash
I will admit to myself...that I am an addict.
This has been going on for years, back and forth.
This last year has been the worst.
I have found myself doing the craziest things to get pain meds, just to feel good about life.
I have even rumaged through other peoples medicine cabinets hoping to score.
You name it...I've done it.
I don't have a supply of med's...so I guess that's a good thing.
But how do I get this monkey off my back.
I think about pills all the time.
If anyone offers you drugs, they are not your friend. Changing people, places, and things is of most importance. Find an NA meeting. Go early, make coffee - stay late, clean up. You will learn to stay clean. Get a sponsor, soon after finding an NA meeting. Good Luck. Post higher up on the forum. Ava
I am taking another drug but there are conversion tables
so I converted to 7.5 mg of Hydrocodone to the drug I am
taking.
I have searched long and hard for a schedule that would
work in a reasonable time and not cause to much pain.
His detox schedule workes fine and is the first one I
could find that gives you how to do it. Other's are for
you to go to a drug treatment center, they never work and
are too expensive !!!
Thanks for your schedule it worked fine. I had very little
trouble and towards the end I got the doctor to give me ambien
for sleep. It works great.
Also taking elivil an anti-depressient really helps with the
jitters. I cut down on benzo's with it and it really helped.
25 mg once during the day really helps. More will make you
really sleeply. It can also be used for sleep at 75 mg at night.
Nod thanks for your help
I am taking another drug but there are conversion tables
so I converted to 7.5 mg of Hydrocodone to the drug I am
taking.
I have searched long and hard for a schedule that would
work in a reasonable time and not cause to much pain.
His detox schedule workes fine and is the first one I
could find that gives you how to do it. Other's are for
you to go to a drug treatment center, they never work and
are too expensive !!!
Thanks for your schedule it worked fine. I had very little
trouble and towards the end I got the doctor to give me ambien
for sleep. It works great.
Also taking elivil an anti-depressient really helps with the
jitters. I cut down on benzo's with it and it really helped.
25 mg once during the day really helps. More will make you
really sleeply. It can also be used for sleep at 75 mg at night.
Nod thanks for your help
convert the drug I was taking to the one you used. It worked and
now I have been drug free for 10 days.
Thanks
Now I just remembered that I was taking the hydrocodone at that time. Does it cause swelling? I don't remember it doing that when I came home from the surgery, but it did keep me knocked out, so how would I remember anything. I really hate that stuff, but still haven't thrown it away. I really don't want to be tempted to use it again , if it does cause swelling.
Thanks for any info you guys might have.
Critterpainter- A lady with painting fever.