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Avatar universal

what can i do.

I am 26/f from nc and have been on Methadone 6yrs to kick a herion addiction. I have never relasped on herion etc the whole 6 yrs had all take home etc . I was on 103 mg, then when my mom passed away i started taking more and more on the side buying them for like a $1....got up to 333mg and stopped cold turkey went to er 3 times which all 3 never had detox beds open , went to my doctor she says to go back on but I am in my 3 week. Been up 3 days stright pretty much my arms hurt so bad and i am jus phyically beat i really need to be at work but my hushand has been great we own a resturant together. He really wants me off of it to start a family etc... But I am to the breaking point where I jus hate life no doctor have no clue how to help look at u like a peice of **** and one says one thing the other says another thing I am ready to say the hell with it and go back life jus ***** both ways right now please if anyone knows anything that helps????thank u.....
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Avatar universal
Well thanks everyone for your imput, right know its hard bc i know that I feel so bad and all I would have to do is make a call and pay 1.50 for 10mg methadone and start feeling right again, and this person is a person I know belive is the reason my mom is dead from giving her so much ****,i was on 110mg had been on that steady dose for 4yrs no ups or downs tthen without warning my mother got really ill. her heart stopped and it took a hr to get it back then stopped again by then it was to late she was brain dead, drove 18hrs to make before they pulled the plug my mom was my life line I always thought I would go before her bc God knows it would kill me if she did,well her friends picked me up and from there started wanting me to buy 10mg methadone for a dollor, so after  2 wk there i was on 200mg then up upup that was  this past auguest. now what i am worried about it i have been to the er 4 time and 2 to my doc.my doc said go back on the methadone. first er visit was bad thought i was dying...took 6 nursers to hold me donw to put iv they didnt have any detox beds for me to stay so i was sent home with klindine and phinigain if thats home u spell them. i had 6 take home does i said i threw them away when i used them already. i would get 6 bottle of 103mg from clinic and by from some to make it through the week, so pick up wed. out by thur feel bad friday but i would always get my order  in from the dealer in arkansa by saturday morning over niight delivery. well this time the ***** missed the cut off for over nite, so it would be monday i knew i was screwed but its all most like i was thankfull almost....by saturday night i was rushed into er my husband only knows about the 103 mg from the clinic know nothing else. He is the best man i could ever as for bc he really held me up and has been here keeping me stong, after the er they said go to the clinic and try and get her dosed. i pretty much told my husband i just wanted to kick it and wanted him to be supprised,bc when we met he didnt know i snorted herion he found out right as got our first place together and hes turkish so he didnt really understand it but he gave me 2 choose get help or get out. I was recomend to the meth clinic. And now after 6 yrs hes been pushing me to detox we own a resturant together and i was so scared of withdraw and by now we both knew how methadone could do jus as much damange as good. he didnt want to have kids on it we seen first hand how scary it was w my neice was born and had bad seizers and had to be winged and no child deservers that ever. So getting back to Sunday I went to the clinic i was so messed i couldnt stand my husband told the nurse i got threw my take homes away wed. and tried to quiet. well i knew what she would say she cant dose me tell wed but i have takehomes till then and it aganist the law. she said come back the and the would either start me at 50 and go up or 30 and go down. but until then go bk to er bc my blood preasure was bottoming out bc of the klindine,went back they didnt have no beds for detox again sent me home w adavin and phinigan again and it was pretty much see ya. went back to er last night i aint slept in 5 days now cant work etc, the doctor was cool i didnt keep nothin back told him that  2 wk ago i had bought some 10 mg perks but in body who knows methadone knows that was like talking otc pain reliver. but he wants me to try .05 mg zanxs he gave me 10 almost though the 3 week he said that would help with anixity which i cant speak right hands shake and i swear i cry 500 times a day. but reading the post from hilarysmom i am freaked but i jus want to sleep do u like i could get hooked that easy on 10 of a low does. all i can really say methadone helped me get my life together but they dont tell u just how much it hurts u i would give anything if i kicked the dope 6 yrs ago i meam i now have this built up in me for 6 yrs they should have better plans for people it should never be used long term and there tons of new clinic opening. i think now with suboxone they should kick meth.. i just felt like before when i was a junky i could go get a pill from a doc or hospital no problem but u want to kick a habbit like that it screw u.n-e way i need to try n work alittle thank u to all it really did help.....
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Avatar universal
HI.......well you got the new forum record for highest jumper 333 WOW I cant even begin to feel how bad you must feel right now CUDOS to making it 3 weeks like this .....I wish I could say its going to get better soon but Im not so sure it will usually the higher the dose x the longer your on = the length of your withdrawal so far it dosent sound like you even made it out of the acute stages of withdrawal mabe another week???im not sure you jump at such a high dose its going to take a wile to get that out of your system as for recovery I was on 150mg for 6 1/2 yr and it took me a good 90 days to start to come around its not so much the withdrawal that makes methadone so bad but all the post withdrawal symptoms I felt dope sick for a month thenl layed in limbo for the second month the 3rd mo I started to get some sleep and the energy crash started to let up recovery was slow drom there but at least I was recovering ...its important to exorcize even if you have to force yourself my wife and I would walk we started with walks around the block and worked up from there I also drank whey protein shakes there full of amino acids as wel as vitamins and the protein all of witvh the brain needs to heal you can pick up a 2 lb can at wallmsrt for 15 bucks the chocolate flavor is good you just mix it with milk I can not stress enough how much these help again its not a quick cure but rather building blocks to get healthy again I wish you lock check out N/A it will really help you deal with this will be here for support so post often good luck and God bless.......Gnarly    
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Avatar universal
I'm new here but I'm also from NC, eastern NC, and I felt I had to comment. I wasn't on methadone, so I can't say how it is for that. I do have a month and a half cold turkey from 5-6 10/650mg Lorcet and quick taper 5-6mgs of xanax a day for a good part of 12 years. If you have 3 days under your belt, I'd keep going! You can do it!! Quitting the Lorcet was easy, hurt like h*ll, but I did it. And, I loved some Lorcet's. I'm still having withdrawals from the xanax and they are 10 x's worse then the opiate. I never want to see another benzo in my life. Quitting those gave me panic attacks at first so bad I thought I was having a heart attack and was surely going to die (I have high blood presure so that freaked me out even more), but that is getting better and they are much milder. I have headaches, had hallucinations, paranoid still, and I have the shakes sometimes and still at times want to stay in my room. I have quitting xanax was the hardest thing I've ever done.

What caused me to get straight? My little girl is starting kindergarten this year and I had to take something to just make it out of the house. I decided I'd had enough. As my brain begins to wake up I get depressed bc I can't remember a lot of my kids first 5 years. I decide not to miss the rest. She is way more important then counting my pills and figuring out when I can get some more. I do however take Wellbutrin, which I believe helped with the withdrawals, maybe that's why the Lorcet was pretty easy to kick, and that is opposed to kicking the xanax. I'm not kidding the xanax was soooo bad at first. I'm very bipolar so I have to take the Wellbutrin and a mood stabilizer. And, after all this, with the xanny withdrawals still there some, I still have to s better and happier. After awhile the pills quit working and what I thought made me happy and more outgoing did exactly the opposite.

Anyways, I could go on and on about how awful Xanax was to quit. But the message is the same "You can do this!" Your almost thru the absolute worst of it. I'm not gonna say it's still not gonna be hard on the mind but a good majority of the physical pain is over. Think they say about 7 days are horrible then you have start convincing your brain you don't need it. I wish you the best of luck and success.

43 days and counting
  
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Avatar universal
Hello,

I detoxed from Methadone after three years on it.  Those three years were a fog, seriously I don't remember anything from those three years b/c of that junk.  Anyways, coming off it is hard, harder than heroin, but if you have been off just keep going.  You will have two or three weeks of physical withdraw (I could lie to you, but you should know what you are in for) and about a month after that of mental depression.  It helps to have people around who have been through it.  Get yourself the magnesium/zinc supplements and take two--breakfast, lunch and dinner. If you don't feel a little better in a couple of days add another zinc/magnesium supplement.   Also take B-6, a multi-vitamin, and get some milk thisle.  Drink lots of water.  Get up and excercise even if you don't feel like it and buy lots of soup.  Benedryl can help you sleep sometimes.....it was a load of crap when I went through it, but it helped towards the end.  Also, lots of hot showers and baths.  Get yourself to some NA meetings so you can talk to people while you are going through this and let your husband know that you aren't going to be able to do much for about two months.  If he really wants to help you get off, he will allow you this time.

You can do this.  Heroin you might be able to take one day at a time.  Kicking methadone requires one second at a time.  
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