what can we do to get good feelings without drugs.

[hippy]

hi everyone, i post this question for all of us,
as we get and stay clean, finding healthy things
to get our endorphins  to bring us those feelings of
well being , happiness, joy , excitment etc.

now i know some , but i was wondering what other s
experence are.
feeling good is an art, for those of us who have used
drugs to get this desirable effect.

im looking for all the ideas in this area i can get.
for me , reading is a big one. playing sports.

watching a good movie. .  working hard some times does it.
making money used to do it , but not anymore.
making love is always , like tops on the list.

so  what can we do to feel better and get the endorphins
going,

peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hippy

[terter]

I have a question about empty nest, I dont have a complete empty nest but 2 of 4 kids are gone, during this time I was useing hydro and am just in day 2 of w/d what I'm afraid of is being able to confront this being clean. I have no desire to go back to drugs, My husband says he cant wait to get the old me back but to tell you the truth I can't remember who I was I feel like I am starting a new life is this normal????? Thanks any comments from anyone would be great.  terter

[RCG]

I am new to this forum and I have only gone 1 day without Vicodin which  I have been on for 2 years now taking 5-8 a day. I have tried many times to quit but the restleness is what breaks me, I hate not being able to sleep. I try working out to make myself tired but it doesnt work. I get very crabby and since my family does not know about it sometimes i find it easier on them to just take more vic. so i am in a good mood and not rude to them. I want to get off of this stuff and get my life back. I try all of the things the can give you a "natural high" in life. It works-for the moment- then at night i am laying in bed and i can not stop thinking about taking a vicodin. I have gone to extreme lengths to get this medicine. I am ready to stop all it is doing is depressing me! I need to tell you because I need support from someone- i feel i cannot tell my boyfriend for fear he will think I am weak! He is a Marine and they(for the most part) dont think medicine is necessary and his strict training has made him think that if you are addicted to something you are weak, I hate hearing him say that b/c i am thinking well then I am weak!Please help in any way you can think of! Thank you so much!

[MethMan]

Hello Peaz!  Long time no hear from!
What you said about finding the right drug is sound advice.  Since I've accidentally found my way to over 6 months clean time from over a decade of methadone use, my mind is finally clear enough to find a drug that really makes me feel better.  Sex.  And I plan on using for the rest of my life.  Sure.. there are ups and downs, but hey.. I can blame the downs on an ugly girlfriend.
Anyway.. hopefully I'll use sex tonight.

All the best,
Methman


P.S.  Shout out to my buddies oxic, oxic's CLOSE friend percs :),  that little wood nymph pixi and the ugly Alabama hillbilly bmac.  Word up dawgs!

[peaz]

Well, I have a college degree and a few other accolades, but I am embarrassed to report that it took me the better part of the entire morning (on and off) to figure out what SFOS meant......!!!!!!  But I GOT 'ER!!!  LOL  It's a very useful expression that many of us will use in our posts, I am sure...
    If any bit of my posts is helpful to you then you are entirely welcome; everyone's situation is different yet so very much the same....(quite the enigma)  that it's hard to know just what advice to give at times.  I know you are coming to terms w/ the tapering  quandry, but you will get it figured out and when that happens it will happen. DAMN!!! I AM AWESOME!!!  You owe me fifty bucks for all that FINE wisdom.....LOL  But you know what I am saying---when you are READY, and ONLY then, will your recovery get off the ground.  Before then it's more or less practice for Game Day.

Anne, I'm not a chronic pain pt but I can still put myself in your place and realize what a difficult decision  it is concerning whether or not to medicate .  Well, actually, no, I can't.......Because to me it is cut and dried:  a life of pain just to be able to say you are drug free seems like such a waste to me.....You WON'T get a better seat in Heaven for having endured a whopping shitload of pain down here......Just something to think about.... Wouldn't you agree that the key here is finding the proper med that adequately takes care of your pain so you aren't tempted to ABUSE, allows you to function coherently, and  doesn't cause a lot of overall damage to your health/body.  So, what's the problem????!!!!  LOL   Why is THAT so hard???!!  I think a pain mgmt person CAN help you w/ these things and give you good suggestions. You may have to try various things before you come upon the one that suits you best.  I congratulated you the other day on not calling them soley for narcs, and I still say that.  But, it might still be good to get their input.
     Okay, okay--I'll shut up now. Hope everyone is doin' well.  Gracie---how're ya doin' sweets?  You need to check in......How many TIMES do I have to TELL you to CALL if you're going to be LATE????!?!?   :-)  PEazy

[lisabet]

Hey Peazy - are you drinking or something....smile??? (You HAVE to be to compare me to Mother Theresa)....heh-heh....You are such a hoot; I swear to God, I love your posts.  You are SFOS (another acronynms)....OK--OK, so maybe I just made it up...you can figure it out....heh-heh.  Actually, I'm admitting to my ignornance here - I never figured out what BTW OR ROTF meant in internet terms (duh!!!!), so I really appreciate your post!  Hope you're not abusing your little parakeet because "he" happens to be a "she"....smile.  Us gals need love too (even if we're not as pretty or can't communicate as effectively)....ha. Thanks for the update on Percs (oxic) - have noticed his absence on the board, and I miss the little squirt.  Thank you-Thank you-Thank you for your encouragement...I think of your posts and words often when I'm feeling weak.  You mean more to me than you could ever imagine, and THAT'S not SFOS!!!...smile   Keep spreading your sunshine, I love ya, Lisabet

[lisabet]

Hey, Anne.  Whenever I see your posts, I always think of that beautiful '80's song "New Orleans Lady", but I can't for the life of me think of who the artist was.  Sweetie, as for your appointment with a pain specialist, I feel maybe you should at least talk to him.  Over 2 weeks----I'm so proud of you, but you know, no one should have to be in pain.  I can understand your fear, and I know it's a "CATCH-22", but IMO, no one should have to suffer.  If you have legitimate pain, which I feel you do, just TALK to the pain doc and see what he/she has to say.  I understand about the advil (ibuprofen) tearing up your stomach; it also does a number on mine; also, I haven't been able to take vioxx or celebrex for the same reason.  Which, sadly,is why I fell into such a "love affair" with the vicodins...it helped the pain without upsetting my stomach, and plus, you get such a "lovely" buzz with it....smile.  I like and appreciate your nickname "The Beast" for the little devils (sorry I wasn't following, but did you take the vics or oxy's or what?)  You are doing so good, and I'm so-so proud of ya, but the pain issue needs to be addressed.  You obviously need something to help with your pain; the question is...can you take them responsibly?  Just reading your posts, my gut feeling is "YES YOU CAN" ....your strength just shines through your posts.  You CAN take control of your pain, and your life...I BELIEVE IN YOU!  Love/Peace, Lisabet

[pammy0690]

No I can talk at work.  Everyone does it all the time.  I can't call out long distance so that is the only problem.  My boss goes to lunch everyday at 12:30PM eastern time so I can always transfer the call to her office and shut the door.  I am in a cube with a room full of other poeple but the boss lady is really cool if I want to make a personal call in her office. Please call me sometime!!! I loved talking to you friend!  PAmmy

[peaz]

Hey Girl!!  I suppose I should untie percs but he'll just get away again...LOL  Did you get in trouble w/  the personal phone calls at work?   Hope not.  I sent you an email, Lulu. Love, peazy

[pammy0690]

Hi Girls!

No LAdy congrats on 17 days!  Keep on going!  That is awesome!  
Lisabet - Your are a sweetie!  Keep strong with the tapering you can do it!  

Peaz tell Percs hi I wondered where he was.  Pammy

[peaz]

Yo, Anne, Lisabet, and Gracie---I am heretofore referring to you as "DA GIRLS" because it's so much easier--- I know you won't mind..LOL   WHICH MEANS: LOTS OF LAUGHS!!!  Let's just take a minute here to brush up on our acronymns....BTW--by the way, WTF---What the ****?, BRB--Be right back, ROTFLMAO---Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off (can be shortened to simply LMAO) and one I made up: IASFF -----I am SO ******* funny!!  So there you have it.  Now get w/ the program. JK  (you know that one..)
    Gracie I have a parakeet--have always had one at various times during my life.  Thought I was getting a male, and damned if the cere didn't change from blue to tan as "it" got older...so now I'm ******.  I have never had a female that talked......Anyway, we bird people must stick together.
      Anne, you're on day 16 or 17??  You sound a little down, and you will have days like that.  Even a coupole in a ROW....But just keep tryin' to kick ass and take names....When you find yourself getting depressed, you KNOW  that it's the imbalance of seretonin, so put your head down, and plow through the **** until you get through another day.  Then, repeat as necessary!! LOL  Do WHATEVER it takes.  Call someone, write in a journal, or the BEST thing: exercise.  I kept a journal for awhile (i have my entire life) but I found it was making me DWELL on the shitty thoughts and feelings; I was writing the SAME depressing things, OVER AND OVER, and I finally put it down.  I think it was fostering misery instead of being cathartic.  So that may be the case for you as well.....
       Lisabet, I have been reading your sweet, supportive posts to others and you're like Mothere Teresa of medhelp.....LOL  I mean that in a GOOD way, babe.  I know you go up and down w/ motivation and courage, but the rest of us do, too, so just don't give up and you will MAKE IT.  You're too good a person to NOT succeed.
     I love all a ya, so just shut up about it!!!!  Take it easy today and be kind to yourselves.  Peazy

[mystere]

Good morning my Guardian Angel--You always have the right thing to say at the right time!--17 days and standing stronger--I am doing much better today--I actually recognized that yesterday the "beast" was doing its damdest to rear its ugly head--I was going back and forth as to whether or not to cancel the appointmnet with the pain doc and the end result is that I am going to cancel---then I won't have to worry about it anymore!  You sound GREAT--I hope things are going well--I'll post from the office and check in on all my "buds"--lisabet/Percs (where are you?)--Amber you sound great too--Gotta run-Oh thanks for the acronym lesson! Now I can understand what I'm reading.
Peace/Prayers-Mystere-AKA N.O. Lady

Gracie97--You're doing Great!  Hang in there

Anne

[peaz]

Yo, wench!! Good call on the pain clinic app't.  If it will be too much temptation, then you did  the RIGHT THANG!!! KICK THE BEAST IN THE GROIN!!! LOL  Or WHEREVER....Pecs can't post from work anymore, and as oxic, has been too busy at home, but I talked to him yesterday and he's okie-dokie.  He'll be around...I've tried to get rid of him for a year, now, at can't manage to do it.......:-)  (you know I'm kidding, Doll.....)
    DAY 17 is unbelievable!!  You'll have a month in before ya know it, and that's when you really start  yutning corners and you'll begin to level out a bit. It's a process. You'll MAKE IT.  Have a good one, sweets---Love, Di

[lisabet]

Good for you!!!  You're doing great.  I'm so-so proud of ya.  Just curious - what is the "rational recovery" book?  I ordered J. Frey's book yesterday off the internet "A million little pills, or pieces or something like that"...looking forward to getting that. He doesn't subsribe to the 12-steps or anything similiar; says you either decide to do it or ya don't.  Personally, I think there's pluses to both sides, but I'm really looking forward to reading this book.  Just wondering...anyone here read this book?  Would like your opinions.  Thanks/Love, Lisabet  Gracie---hang in there, honey...you're doing it!!!

[gracie97]

Hey guys, OK made it thru day 13 (I think , I have lost track of "true" days", absolutely no tabs) we really tapered low, down to 1/2 a pill on the 2 last days, I felt like that was ZERO. Anyway, today was much better, guess I am starting to see the light I keep asking about. Work seems to be going much better, FASTER, I am starting to get sooo much more done, even with the interruptions! (Yeah, we all know the real reason I could not keep up) I quit all the extra vitamins (thomas diet) and take ONE valuim at night to sleep. Everything that has been "missing" is starting to come back, some of it maybe not so positive, but I am OK with the fact that I used to be a "clean freak" and the energy to keep that up again is there too (at least today) . I do not have "children" but my babies and 2 of them are EXTREMELEY messy (parrots) so I am back to keeping them "clean" daily. I am happy for that. Thank you everyone for being here. I will try to post soon to the chat place, but am having a little trouble. Congrats to everyone today, we made it thru another day! I bought the Rational Recovery book tonight, going to go read it now. Love all of you, thanks so much for your help!

[lisabet]

Hi Anne - am so proud you are on day 16 and counting!!!  I've read all your posts, and I realize how hard it is for you, but goddamn, you're doing it, girl!  I'm wondering how you're coping; is it getting easier or harder???  So you're a born-bred West Virginian, eh? (It's funny - some people don't even realize West Virginia is really a state; they think it's part of Virginia).  If I remember correctly, Weirton is near the Ohio border of the state; don't think I've ever been there that I can recall.  I live in the Beckley/Charleston region. You're right, it is a small world!!!  Have you been back to WV since your childhood, or were you too small to even remember?  West Virginians get a lot of heckelings about been illiterate, barefoot and pregnant, marrying their cousins, etc.....smile, but you know, you'll never find a better breed of people here; there's a lot of both myth and truth in these here hills...smile.  It's true, there's curosities in the state, actually not far from my region, churches that actually handles snakes (yikes); I think that's probably about the most outlandish thing I can think of right offhand.  Actually, most of us are pretty civilized....smile.  Keep posting, and let us know about your progress.  Sending good thoughts your way, Lisabet  (PS: my given name is Ann also, but without the "e")....Take care, Love ya.

[NEW ORLEANS LADY]

I think I know why I'm sooo restless-#1 My neck and hip are killing me and the Advil is tearing up my stomach--These are all things the "beast" likes to hear--Also a while back my husband encouraged me to make an appointment with a pain manageement specialist and that is coming up this Thurs.--Guess what?--I'm really not sure if I should cancel or not--I am scared he will offer me the demons and if I happen to be hurting particularly bad--I'm not sure I'm far along enough to JUST SAY NO!--So folks I guess that's what has made me so anxious/restless/irritable ect.  Well thanks for listening I'm sure this is all part of the process of healing--Peace and Prayers--All of you are my lifelines! N.O. Lady/AKA Mystere

Anne

[mystere]

I know the emotional rollercoaster that you are on right now--I'm in car in front of you!  It seems we have to "learn" to do things all over again--I'm in my WHAT NOW? mode-- Where and how do I start picking up the pieces of my life without drugs? I think lisabet explained so eloquently--14 days is wonderful--I'm starting day 16 and we just have to stay focused! Another thing I think addicts have a hard time doing--You're both in my prayers--Much Love and Peace--Mystere/AKA N.O. Lady

Anne

lisaet--Have you ever heard of a place called New Cumberland, West Virginia?--it's near Weirton--That's where I was born!-Although I have lived in New Orleans most of my life--Small world isn't it!  Take Care--You too are one of my many inspirations!

[NEW ORLEANS LADY]

Good afternoon my Guardian Angel--I am feeling sooo restless today--I can't seem to figue out why?--I've been having trouble concentrating and it feels like today is the longest damn day--(I thought time only stood still when you're in withdrawal.) Anyway I just wanted to say hi to everyone and 16 days and standing "wobbly" (just Kidding)--I'm going home to read Rational Recovery/Smart Recovery--Love Ya--Peace and Prayers N.O. Lady/AKA Mystere

Anne

Oh May I ask a stupid question?--I am not computer savvy so what does LOLOL mean? Thanks

[peaz]

If we only spent HALF  the time we spend thinking about getting high,  day-dreaming about what it was LIKE when we were high, how to get more PILLS, and thinking of new ways to hide our dirty little secret: If we spent HALF that time on being positive and merely thinking of new ways to occupy our time, we'd have it MADE.  Talk about FOCUS!!! LOL
  My best to all------Love, peazy

[lisabet]

Hi Gracie - I think it's something all of us users feel at one time or another; helplessness, scared, pathetic...you name it!...smile.  But for myself, posting my feelings on the forum and also posting in a journal has made that fear a little bit less everyday. It kinda makes you look at yourself from the inside and makes you face and validate your fears, if that makes any sense...I think we all are "damaged" in one way or the other; we carry a lot of emotional baggage with us along the way.  We look at other people and think "why can't I be happy (or) successful (or) content or whatever?"...I remember several years ago, I had dinner with a childhood friend; she seemed to have everything; a successful career, social life, status; everything you would think that would insure happiness. She had just started her career as a physiatrist and had a sucessful practice, and I was telling her how proud I was of her, and (in jest) that she needed to analyze me, as I was such a mess, and she just burst into tears. She said to me "I am such a ******* mess, I have no idea how I'm in this position to try to help other people."  She went on to say how scared she was, and I've always remembered that.  We all have our fears and battles, and maybe down deep we're all scared to death; maybe it's just in the way we deal with it that makes the difference.  Just my reflections; sorry if I'm rambling...smile.  The important thing is, we all need to be there for each other, because we never really know what the other person may be going through.  If I've learned maybe even one thing during my 40-some years, I think we should treat each other with respect and kindness, which is why I'm so drawn to the forum members on this board.  Did I understand correctly you are almost 2 weeks clean??  Good for you; I can't seem to get past the tapering process.  From what I've read from others on the forum, sometimes it takes a couple of months to really feel normal again, whatever normal is....smile.  Hang in there, Gracie, you're doing great.  Love/Peace, Lisabet

[gracie97]

Lisabeth, gosh, you nailed my feelings to a tee. I thought your comments were from me. I wish this self hatred would go away, and that I could feel inside what I show on the outside.

Mystere, hope things are going well for you. Day 13 is over, start day 14 tomorrow, but not back to the old me. How much longer?????

[hippy]

thanks doc for your , answer,
you hit on the core of the problem
relationships,
before the age of 24 and useing all the time.
if you did not have something to do with
money/ sex or drugs
we had no relationship.
i know who betrand russel is,
he wrote the history of western civ,

[lisabet]

Amber - I want to offer my heartfelt condolenses about the loss of your first born.  I can only imagine the loss of a child would be the worse horror that one could ever go through. That you survived at all without losing your mind is a testament in itself of your strength and character. Glad to hear your creative "juices" are flowing again. I wish you happiness and love and peace.  I know I've gained a lot of inner strength through this forum, mainly just by reading others' life experiences. It makes me feel less alone, 'cause even though I have people around me that love me, they would be horrified to learn about my drug and alcohol problems. The ironic thing is I'm viewed as the "strong" one in my family and friend circle. Everyone would be horrified if they only knew how weak I really am.  I feel scared to death every day, but with the help of my friends here on the forum, most days seem to be getting better. Good luck in your recovery.  Love ya, Lisabet

[AmberHunter]

yes lisabet, animals do love us no matter how low we go... that is so true... even when we are not taking the best care of ourselves,let alone them they accept us unconditionally...

exercise, *stretching* (does that count?) i know how good i feel when i exercise. back twenty years ago i gave birth to a full term stillborn baby, my first daughter. i named her melissa susanne and she is buried in bonita springs, fla... i literally thought the pain of that loss would kill me... i really, really did... for whatever reason, i don't even remember, i started working out at the gym... and that saved my life... i was as addicted to working out (didn't know about endorphins then) but it saved my ass...

love to read... sometimes it is hard to read as my mind is just starting to return... my concentration span changes from minute to minute...

i am an artist and i am just starting to feel the creative juices stirring again, hopefully i will paint again or find a wonderful juicy new way to express that part of myself...

and helping people, ah yes...not a damned thing better than being of service to others to get me out of my own ****... the drugs give me such limited sight in my life... finding ways and means to get more... and there just isn't enough time to do or care about anything else... so sad but so true...

love you all! thanks for being on this board! it has added so much to my life as i try to learn how to live straight!

amber