what do you do when someone question your sobriety

today was a great day I was out the weather was great feeling like me which  i haven't felt in along time and just a little while ago i was talking to my mom and I was kinda of quite had a headache plus mom and I dont get on to well she asked what was wrong I told her i had a headache then she just comes out and says so did you take pills are you at it again now yes im a addict im doing N.A and i never lied to her I would admit when I stole pills from her or i would keep pushing until she gave them to me when i couldnt get any from scripts anyway I have always been a honest person with my family but this just p***** me off!!! how have others of you delt with such things. btw I told her i didnt owe her an explanation it was my buisness

[confused456]

You are right, you do not owe her any explanation. It brings us down, and hurts, and angers us if someone questions our sobriety. It really does suck, but you know the truth, and that is what counts!! I have had to tell myself the same thing, and it is hard because I know how it makes your heart hurt. Hang in there. You are doing great at day 11!!! I am super proud of you!!!!!!

HUGS

[rosebud66]

how about just telling her no i have not started using but thanks for caring......why the need to tell her it is none of her business.  that makes you sound like you have something to hide.  addicts are the greatest at avoiding the truth so maybe if you just told her no mom i haven't then she would be satisfied.  good luck!!

[confused456]

Geri-rose,

I wanted to tell you what a wonderful person you are. I am very happy for you and you should know that 11 days is really great!! Keep looking forward. There comes a point where our friends and family DO notice a difference in us, and that will be an amazing day for you when your Mom realizes that you are free from that old life and are truly happy to be clean!! You are doing really great and you have all of our support!!!

Big hugs,

Confused456

[newgirl2708]

Chef
First let me say how sorry I am that your mother did this. It's just a sad part about people like that..I'll bet this isn't the only thing she's like this about..I am sorry. You should be comended on how well your doing. You're wonderful.

Anyhow, as I've stated before, this is EXACTLY why NO one knows about my problem. I would get treated this way from everyone everywhere. Work, church, family. This site is best for me for the anonymity (sp?) aspect. No one knows and won't if I can help it. This is the only support I will get for a while. Med Help and my little family I have here are it. This isn't about being being honest with myself or accountability, this is my reality. I have seen the best people I know turn on people like us. Not so much the best people I know anymore...but you know what I mean...
My two cents..maybe even three cents this time.
Sometimes distance ain't so bad..
Take Care,
Newgirl

[newmanagment]

ok, so why did mom question ya?!? im guessing because, like me, you have put your family thru hell with your addiction?!so let me put it too ya like this..... if you have hurt you family like i hurt mine, they are gonna be real leary of your "so called"cleaning up... i type it like that because that is how they see it, just another chance to be let down when you run back to your addiction. see , we see it as we are gonna get clean, we are not gonna relapse, etc.....
but they are constantly holding their breathes , wondering when the day is coming that we will let them down, and hurt them again. i deal with this from my family, and i understand it is because of where I have PUT them!! so , i agree with rosebud, tell her no, and thanx for caring. then go on to tell her that today will NOT be the day you let her down. thats all we can promise, one day at a time.... but you can tell her that you are serious, and that this time you are gonna try with all your fight. i hope this doesnt upset ya, just my take on the same problem.. good luck on your journey, and much love....

[worried878]

My mom always asks how i am feeling like she is worrried about me...i told her after all was said and done..I think I told her so she would keep me accountable as I have no one else and did not want to tell my kids...maybe it wasnt a good idea...but she never accuses me of taking them again...that would tick me off...I am sorry as I know that was not the type of support that you needed from her..perhaps you could tell her that...anyway, tis great to have come so far...dont let her rain on your party

[road2recovery]

newmanagement, i totally agree with your post!!!!

[kim715]

First let me say you're doing great. Next sometimes we have to show our families that we are really cleaning up this time,because most of us promised over and over again we were going to do it and we never did.We are not the victims. I know now I wasn't,I chose to take the drugs and caused alot of pain for my loved ones.The thing is they have been in alot of pain for a long time and I wasn't feeling anything at all because of the drugs,and the moment I started to feel I'de just take a few more.Just like we are in recovery,so are the people that stuck it out with us,and we're really fortunate to have them alot of peoples friends and families turn their backs.It is going to take you time to heal,but your family needs time to heal too. That gives you one more reason to get clean. Lots of Love!!!!!!!!!!!  YOU CAN DO IT .          

[Mikeinthesouth]

11 days is great. I believe ya. smile!!

[nulife]

day 7 just happend  to me tonite i was research on coloinpin i read it helps with w/ds it  was found on my cpu.s history they acused me like im trying to get high again ...im just curious and it did **** me off

[chef4u]

thanks for all the support as far as letting down my family well not all of us come from familys that have not let them down!! my mom is a lot of my life long addiction eating disorder which I beat, shopping addiction , now drugs I know I was the one who chose to be a addict I guess i get mad at here because she is never accountable for her actions she is what is called a dry drunk came from that kind of back ground so i guess that is why she angers me with her questions cause if someone was to ask i probably not get angry in N.A i am learning about accountabiltiy but to only those we have harmed any one else is not are responsibilty

[confused456]

Good for you!!! Keep trucking!! You are doing a great job!!!

[kim715]

I'm so sorry.I didn,t realize when I wrote to you before that you had such a rough childhood.My father was a mean nasty full blown alchoholic who used to come home late and hit on my mother when I was growing up. My mom passed away 15 years ago and my father lives one block from me and I never speak to him. He too is a dry drunk,of course if you ask him today he would tell you he treated my mother wonderful and that my sister and I had a wonderful child life. He's in deep denial,but he'll be the first one to tell you what you're not doing right.So the old saying is not true,these days you can pick your family at least pick the ones you want to associate with. Lots of Love.

[10356]

As long as you know the truth of it it's like water on a ducks back, just let it slide and move on. We can not convince every-body so concentrate on your-self. Time will prove you out Congratulations I'm happy and proud of you Limbo