when doesit get btter than this?

Im on day 17. Feels like Ive been stuck in limbo. Everyday, I wake up with anxiety. Force myself out of the house, come home, make dinner, cry, cause Im feeling no better for over a week now.Its like Im stuck in a rut. Bad anxieties, aches and pains, crying cause nothings changed, and then in the evening, everything subsides. When does it getter than this I wonder? At night in bed, Im fine, just cant sleep, until i take some antural aids, then sleep for 2 hour clips, but this has been going on with no change for over a week. Am I stuck in this nightmarish hell forever now?

[rizboy]

From my own experience and reading others the mental part seems the worse part of staying drug free.This may be the hardest part to put a timescale on,just hang in there! Someone once said to me" you dont become an addict over night,so therefore you dont get better over night".BUT the fog will pass just keep on doing what you are doing.Seriously youve done very well.chris

[rizboy]

hi,stick in there it will get better day by day eat plenty of fruit and veg and drink plenty of water.It wont last forever promise.Watch some films, listen to music and keep busy.Just hang in there.chris

[ricart70]

No you are not stuck in hell.You are getting better day by day and in a couple of days you will turn the corner on sleep and on mood.Just hang in there and it is a 100% chance you will get better soon.

[sandra5353]

thankyou for words of encouragement. I was getting scared. Seems that the nighmarish hell of withdrawals got better after day 8 but this agonizing, detatched feeling from my brain, ( fog) is lingering and Im still numb all over. I needed to know, this too shall pass, cause I am literaly going out of my mind right now. Ive been eating real good everyday, drink lots of water, I even take vitamins and homeopathic drops, but, still in this dang fog. I thought by day 17, I would feel so much better. grrrrrrr

[rizboy]

From my own experience and reading others the mental part seems the worse part of staying drug free.This may be the hardest part to put a timescale on,just hang in there! Someone once said to me" you dont become an addict over night,so therefore you dont get better over night".BUT the fog will pass just keep on doing what you are doing.Seriously youve done very well.chris

[sandra5353]

thanks again! what ***** is that my physical pain, 5 herniated disks lower back & neck, is what put me here in the first place. seems like GOD's cruel joke, to give people pain, help them with pain meds, only to have to stop the pain meds due to depression, to only be now in more pain. My back is in excrutiating pain. Takes all my energy to go to my chiropractor 3 times a week, for little to no relief anyways. Cant imagine being in this pain for the rest of my life. My skin still burns from time to time, guess im still getting rid of the left over toxins from my muscles and tissues as well.

[rizboy]

i cant imagine what your going through as far as the back pains concerned.i kind of feel pathetic next to people like yourself,because you never asked for the accident(im guessing??) where as it my fault i got on drugs.so to give words of encouragement to someone like you is very humbeling!! What are going to do about your back?will it get better?.Chris

[dominosarah]

Our brain plays some pretty mean games with us at this point.  Most of us experience rebound pain but this should subside here soon.  Many of us found our pain actually got better the longer we were clean.  Hopefully that will be the case for you.  The "fog" will lift soon too.  All of what you are going thru is normal.  I know it suks but it does get better.  Hang tight and just know you are doing great!!!      sara

[endthecyclenow2029]

Hello,  I wanted to let you know that I am 31 days today.  I’m still not 100% - maybe not ever 75% - but we are clean.  There was a time in the beginning when I had to go to the store and I would be thinking on the inside “I probably look normal on the outside, but NONE of these people could even imagine the hell that’s going on inside of me.”  
Day 31 I’m still dealing with anxiety.  I still have sweats.  And I still haven’t had a solid BM..  But I just keep chugging along.  There’s no turning back.  And I am believing everyone’s words that it WILL get better.  
Hang in there.  Don’t expect too much to happen at once.  2 weeks from now I’m sure you will be able to look back and say “hey, I DO feel better than I did 2 weeks ago…”
Good Luck!

[sandra5353]

Im crying right now for all your beautiful words. I know I anot alone, I see that, but it feels so lonely all the same, doesn't it? My back pain is for life. Ive had it for 30 years.I also have fobromyalgia and costochondritis ( inflammation of the rib/sternum), excrutiating pain, but the depression I started to get from the pills, and getting off of them, is a GODsend. I will deal with the pain, just cant do what I use to ( going shopping with my daughters, walking outside for a brief walk, ect., ect. but like Sara said, it might just be exasperated by the withdrawals. I feel for you cycle now, all Ive had was BM's!! lol non  stop. Feels good to get the toxins out every day. Wish the sleep would come naturally instead of using calcium, meletonin and other natural aids. The aniety hurts my sternum so bad, but when it lifts for a bit during the day, it is some relife. Thankyou all for such encouraging words. I needed it bad today! xo P.S. and yes about people on the outside. I just told another friend on here yesterday, how I watch people go about life shopping and all, and cant imagine how they do it without drugs. When I was on oxy's even cleaning the toilet bowl was fun, now everything is just grey to me.

[notanymoreever]

Everyone has a different body and we all go through different 'spots' with this process. I'm not sure what/how much you were taking, but it does take your body a little time to readjust to such a major change. Try to place your focus on what you have already accomplished so far- Seventeen days is awesome! Look at every day as a victory and a little bit of distance from where you were. I promise it will get better.

I am on day 30 today. I noticed the poster before was on 31! Guess you started on the Sunday before my Monday. I know I feel a lot better and my focus is on staying away from this stuff because it's bad news.

You'll get out of this rut soon, Sandra. It's just how your body is healing and you need to use it as a positive in knowing that that's what is going on. Hang in there- you have accomplished so very much! Tomorrow is 18 and it's going to be a little better than today.

[saddy6]

Those first weeks are always the toughest and lord knows I've battled through so many week 1's and 2's that I've lost count. If it's not physical symptoms it's mental symptoms and each are so challenging to overcome. I found once I got past feeling like death that I would give in to the mental game as I felt good and the mind tricks began as I would convince myself that using again was okay and I forgot all about the misery I went through to get to that point. My problem was I failed to plan my entire recovery, take it one day at a time and get through. I'm at Day 24 and I'm will never see a Day 1 again. I sought aftercare for the first time and for the first time turned down the offer from my friend for more pills. This time I wrote out my goals and plans and I knew how I would react to his call or text while in the past I never did and just did what I always had done which was get more pills. I read my goals over and over every day and now I know that it's just not me to take pills or buy more because that isn't part of my plans and goals in life. It's not joke when they say do what you've always done and you'll get the same results as you had in the past. You need to change everything up to get better and stay strong. Everyone is here to help and support you in your battle and we know you can do it!

[littlebit010101]

Let me tell u it was almost to the hour of 90 days before I could say aaaahhhh.....u know that really all the way through ur body stretch aahhhhh...lol....but it happened...woooo hooo...I don't really know how to describe it but that moment when u know hey I got this??..., well it happened...so hang in there I promise (and ask my kids I don't make promises I can't keep)....but oh it really does get better...everyday gets so much better.....U So Got This......

[sandra5353]

all these posts are so empowering. today was  a big day for crying, feeling its never going to be over, but reading all of your posts are making my tears of sadness, tears of joy. I can't wait for my " ahhhhh" day!

[dominosarah]

Maybe this is your ahaaa day!!  You are feeling better and tears are healthy~~

[sandra5353]

Is it normal, after the main withdrawals, to get on and off burning sensations in the skin ( a little bit every now and then during the daytime) and how come anxieties are so bad in morning only to die down at night??

[littlebit010101]

LOL Sandra.....Sara may be right today may be the day....keep going girl... U really do got this.....good luck friend...

[GA_need_help]

Hi Sandra,
I am not where you are yet.  I am tapering right now.  But like you I get anxiety super bad some mornings. My best advice on dealing with it is setting a time, and leaving the house.  I just get my computer and go write some days.  My other way of handling anxiety is by listening to on-the-phone recovery meetings.  During the mornings there are lots of UA (under earners anonymous) meetings (just google it).  I dial in, and listen to the meeting.  I also listen to Debtors Anonymous, Al-Anon and Overeaters Anonymous.  They definitely help me from feeling alone, and help me get through the anxiety.  My anxiety went up when I started tapering.  I think I am about to make another decrease, so I need to buckle in for a bumpy road!  But with the support the this forum, I believe I can make it.  I know you can make it.  You are almost there.  
Big Hug, Marie

[sandra5353]

All you guys are so wonderful. Big hugs to everyone replieing to my questions. I donnot feel alone today. On the phone meetings? OMG I will def... try that.

[rizboy]

The anxiety in the morning is very natural,its natures way of getting us out of bed and preparing us for the day ahead,but because of the drugs clouding our minds we dont feel it till they are not there!!And the anxiety dies down at night to prepare us for bed!is the burning sensation like a hot flush??How you feeling today sandra??chris

[hollytabor]

Day 95 here - 4 (pretty much) non-existant discs as well.

And I'm .... GREAT.  :)

I want to bring up a couple of things - one, every single moment brings you closer to being healed.  St. John's Wort (I believe) helped/helps tremendously.  It takes a while to work though - you need to give it 4-6 wks to see if it will work for you.

And two .... I am in far less pain now off the drugs than I was on.  I really feel our bodies crave the drugs so they create more pain - thus creating a vicious circle.  Yesterday I was grocery shopping - by the bell peppers, just in case you wanted to know - and I stopped cold.  I had absolutely no pain at all.  None.  Nada.  Zip.  It was the first time in a LONG time that I felt that way - no back pain, no hip pain, no leg pain ... nothing.  So it's completely, totally and utterly possible.

(I also take numerous other supplements - including a green soy shake, osteo bi-flex and MSM.)

[sandra5353]

rizboy...When I was going thru the hard withdrawals, I got like a badsunburn feeling thruout my body. Now it happens only once in a while thruout the day. Same feeling, just small doses. Was wondering if that's the rest squeezing out of my muscles/tissues, or are my nerves damaged? holly--- Great news to hear about your pain. I was on the pills due to back pain, but now it's worse while getting off. I take holistic drops from a wellness center, and vitamins B , C, and now trying 5HTP. In one of the wellness drops there is DOPAMINE for mood. I take that drop 3x's a day. I go to a chiropractor 3x's a week. Another friend on here said as well, like you did, that as the healing goes on, the body will learn to deal with the pain without the drugs and for now, the pain is unbearable due to the fact the body hasn't catched up yet. She heard this last night at a NA meeting. Im going to try to keep my emotions in tact today. Still no " ahhhh" feeling yet.

[rizboy]

hi sandra not had that sensation myself,i think it maybe your body detoxing not sure,maybe give it a few more days then see a doctor if your worried.Do you find the vitamins etc help??

[sandra5353]

It seems no matter what I take, I get that sunburn feeling and as long as I abstain from anything, my body is more at peace, but, being that sai, I still take the vitamins knowing it will benefit me. The calium/magnesium, gives me that burn feeling big time. So i am now staying away from that. I took the 5HTP this morning, and brain fog lifted quite a bit. Not usre if it would have anyways, Ill see tomorrow without taking it. More at peace today after my long cry yesterday. Ive read about others with that sunburn feeling and or, bumble bee zaps thruout the body during withdrawals, just was wondering why I still get it  long after the main withdrawals are gone. hmmmmm

[sandra5353]

day 36, come a loooong way feeling better with withdrawals but the rebound pain is awful. started juicing yesterday hope it helps.

[Silk2197]

Are u sleeping ? And if so do u have help?

[lulu747]

sandra....I just wanted to say that I understand how you are feeling.  At 27 days I am still experiencing that burning sensation that you mentioned as well as sweating, and of course not sleeping more than a few hours at a time.  I woke up (after average 3 hrs sleep) with hardcore anxiety this morning thinking-am I ever going to sleep again?  How am I going to function?  So it was great that I read your post because it made me realize that I am not alone in this.  Mentally/emotionally I'm feeling pretty good and my pain levels are mainly manageable...The joints (I have RA) are the worst because of the cold and my sleep deprivation.  I'm going to try the juicing as well...I've done it in the past but it seems like so much work right now...(:  Let me know how you are doing a week ahead of me...Happy 2012...Lu

[sandra5353]

Im sleeping on and off all night. I get about an hourand a half when I first hit the pillow, then all night and hour heren there. I take melatonin, and a health food sleeping aid, and calcium to relax me. Not all at once, but different intervales during the night. My anxiety is at a all time low for the past week and a half, finally, but it still there a little bit. Hardly notice it anymore. The juicing is alot of work, but its easier than running to the doctor or moaning and goaning on the couch. I make enough juice for 2 days and put the juice in 32 quart mason jars and split the drinks up. Its beeter to juice greens than fruits cause I read one has to watch out for blood sugar levels, but since juicing, my inflammation has gone down considerably so Im keeping this up. well worth the time n effort for some releif. xo

[novics]

I guess everyone is different? I am on day 16 now, and I have been sleeping fine since day 10 without any sleep aids; You could maybe ask your doctor for a very short term sleep aid?

[Amanda270]

I am hoping soon!! I am still weening myself off of percocert and vic's but have made my mind up to do it once and for all. This is the 1st day I am only taking 1 pill and am already experiencing some withdrwel symptoms. I forgot what it was like to be normal. High was/is my normal. I just want to get back to the place I once was where I had confidence and self-esteem. You are doing great. I wish I was at your point already. Keep up the good work.

[sandra5353]

must be nice to be able to sleep. im so tired during the day, i cant even take a dang nap! Eyes alwasy burning as well. jeesh