when will it end!!!!

I have read all the posts on here, and in on day 3, im loosing my mind! I have been taking 15 vics,10 norco,8 tramadol,6 soma and 2 to3 ambian a day. I have been doing this for 15 years after a bad car accident.My husband had no idea, but 2 weeks ago i had a DR. appt. Because my regular Dr of 15yrs retired, and my new DR. 25yr old F'N doogie houser said he thinks i need to get off all the pills and take zoloft. So i freaked out and started to panic and yell at him advising him i am in alot of pain (not that bad anymore). and at that time he proceded to call me a feind, and say im showing sings of an addict. and all of this in front of my husband, who is very protective and told him he was out of line. And at this time he said well im cutting all your pills and you will be getting 7.5 norco at 120 a month,no more no less. Start the zoloft and call me in 3wks.So after finishing what i had and what i get from friends a family every month (lasts me about 2wks) im out and so now im 3 days into the w/ds bad my brain is going crazy,and not to mention I have checked every drawer,couch cushion,closet, under bed, knook,cranny,crevis,and even both vehicles for just one piull i may have dropped or misplaces to no avail! So now i had to explain to the husband that the DR. was right =(.   And he said its ok we will get thru this and your strong. so he is here to help. but I still cant get the feelings and cravings to stop, i have no idea how to stop this craving, everything else is not that bad. i have the benadryl and immodiume, I JUST NEED THE CRAVINGS GONE HELLLPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!PLEASE does anyone know?

[TonyRedgrave]

Hi there goincrzyincali .

Seems you and i are in a similar situation, this too is my 3rd day going cold turkey from vicodans. and let me tell you it is complete torture.
My body feels weak to the point that i don't want to move. haven't eaten much since then too, everything seem to go through me.
And a few hours ago, in a fit of desperation i looked through every crease and cranny in hopes of finding a misplaced pill. heck, i even considered licking the inside of the bottles just to make these feeling stop.
Yeah its been a hellish couple of days, but you now what ? I WILL PREVAIL!
for my sakes and my family sakes i will endure this and what ever comes. and so will you. know why? because we refuse to be bested by a chemical. So grit your teeth, clench your fist and do what ever it takes to get through this. We Will Prevail.

[selfinduced]

HOT BATHS all day if you need to. Day 3 was hard for me, so was day 4. After that your symptoms start quieting. Think of the symptom you can least tolerate and nail that on first. Hot teas seemed to help me for overall comfort. Wanting to be with my teenage boys their last years at home motivated me. the shame of the Dr. appt. ,,knowing that you just want the script and be on your way.Soon , you will both be able to help others so take notes. This will keep you focused. If all else fails , get some ativan or similar to take for a few days. One more thing...WALK, WALK WALK and listen to music, Also allow your self to cry. This emotion seems unstoppable now. Good to let it flow. Keep posting , it will be worth it!

[newlifeahead]

this is really a HARD thing and it takes a lot of determination and for my relieance on God... U were taking a lot of pills vic's and norco are the same thing so u were taking ALOT of them and alot of tylenol too because they both have tylenol in them. And for a lot of years. It is gonna be a little rougher because it sounds like ur  quiting because the dr cut u off? or do u have a desire to be done? for me i had to be soooo sick of the pills i had to get REALLY mad at them and who they had made me become and look at my life then i started to get excited at the thought of living normal jsut like everyone else not being changed to a pill bottle and that fired me up even more. Then i was thinking of my family and that is what made my ultimate decision.  u have to remember for 15 yrs ur brain has not been producing endorhins it has all been false from the pills so u will have to go through that and it will be rough until ur body realizes adn starts producing on their own again it is going to be hard and it takes a while. The physical w/d's will last prob another 4-5 days for u then u will start to have some good days but they may be followed by a bad one:( it DOES get better tho and it is AMAZING when u start really feeling again and laughing again best feeling ever... lean on ur husband he is willing to help u and i dont know if u believe in God but i am many others have done it by His grace alone. I only got through it 1 prayer at a time. take lots of baths u can also look up the thomas recipe and try some vitamins but the one thing u need to do is check urself and make sure this is what U want or it is gonna make it alot harder and also make chances of relapse go way up... i am rooting for u it really is the best thing ever to stop this vicious cycle i cant imagine after such long use those pills were even doing anything for u anymore.praying for u

[littlebit667]

Day three *****, but it is in the middle of your feeling better.  Here is my newby post that I hope helps some.  

I kept telling myself...YOU HAVE the FLU!  It will be over and I will feel so much better.  My brain seemed to get that and settled down a little.  It is hard, but doable!  The Thomas Recipe (bottom of the page under Health Pages will help.  I did not to the tranquilizers and had to cut back on the Ltryosine, but the rest really helped.  Imodium (immodium), Imodium (immodium), Imodium (immodium) (liquid or pills if the liquid can't be found or you can't swallow it) will help.  I took double the dosage for a few days (personal choice) and it helped so much..even with the withdrawals in general and the opiate trots which sucked.  

Hydrate and eat!  Even if it is just a little every hour or so.  You have to eat something to keep your energy up as much as possible.  

If you have Restless legs..it is hit or miss what works.  Walking seemed to help me some.  Hot bath with epsom salts..a little.  I finally had to get my doctor to refill my restless legs meds (non addictive) to get some sleep.  If nothing works,your doctor might help.  

One hour at a time is all anyone can ask.  After 2 weeks it gets a little better and I started to say, One day at a time!  Your brain will do all sorts of things to get you to take a pill.  I found if I was hungry..the cravings got worse.  I would try to eat a banana, a few grapes or a few crackers to get that under control.

Good for you.  I hope all goes well.  You have made a good start coming here....this site has helped me so much!!!  Keep posting!!!!!

Keep posting.  you were on a lot of meds..and as you said the pain was not like it was.  I am hoping that by week one you will be doing better.  

I am 60 and 2 months clean and it is a great world.  My brain is no longer a foggy mess.

[gnarly_1]

THE  best thing I found for cravings was to keep bizzy findd something to get your mind off it go out with a G/F for a coke go to the movies go for a hike and enjoy the fall colors look up a N/A meeting in your area and go it will help they will uderstend what your going threw the main thing is to distract yourself you must get out of your own head your obsessing on the pills
try a few of the things I sugjested it should help cravings only last 1/2hr or so if you dont obsess on them keep posting for support AND DONT USE
good luck and God bless.......Gnarly  

[Ann2497]

Can you ask doogy houser for some Clonidine?  it is a blood pressure medication that helps with opiate withdrawals.

[lonelygirl369]

Day four for me and it is sooo hard to get through the waves. Seems like today is worse for me, I went to the grocery store and had to leave my full cart and get out. felt like I was having a panic attack. I am glad that I flushed my pills because I don't no if I could have the strength  not to take one right now. If you can get rid of the pills, do it. why risk it, It won't be worth it, it just starts the cycle all over again.  

[lonelygirl369]

Sorry I thought I was responding to another post about having pills near by. My brain is still very fuzzy

[goincrzyincali]

On day 4, and your right its good to keep myself busy. I actually got up and did some laundry, one still in the wash,and one in the dryer. But i tried. And today has been the worst for cravings. It *****, my refills are all due tomorrow all i have to do is call. But i wont and plus it costs me 300 for all my scrips. Can you believe i paid that? Anyways Hot tea,hot showers,and alot of juice and water.I just want to feel normal. My husband tries,but he leaves for work at 3pm to 1 am. An officer.(i know right) and i cry when he is gettin ready, cuz i know ill be allone,and stuck to just think about all the crap i did to myself. The worst is we leave to vegas thursday. I havent left the house in four days and i have not been outside sober in 15 yrs. and i start to stress on that. I dont know what to do?

[dominosarah]

Call and cancel those scripts.  They will call your name till you do.  Force yourself to get up and move around.  Get some fresh air, that will help.  Make sure you are drinking plenty of fluids.  Go to Vegas and have a good time.  Once the wd's are over you will feel better.  Do you have any plans for recovery care?

[goincrzyincali]

I have no plans for any recovery care. I have been battling with my brain and tellin myself to call my dr and just let him know in the morning to stop all my scrips. He will because he wants me off everything and wants me to have surgery for the disc that is blown, but if i do then where does that put me back on pain pills to recover, so i have denied the surgery. I can handle the pain i have stopped during my 15 yrs of pills only for 9 mons at a time to have my children healthy now 10 and 8, but i also have a 20 yr old who is in collage to be a dr of all things, with an addict mother, she does not know. and also my 17yr old and 15 yr old all home thinkin i have a bad flu, I have been in my room for days and they have been amazing but i feel so bad i dont have the energy i did with the pills, we use to do so much i feel without the pills i wont do those things again, I just want me back. I have been takin benadryl,immodum(alot) and lots of juice water,and started protein shakes,also i been taking cold meds to not hurt and night cold meds to sleep. I feel alot better right now, just batteling the cravings. I have 5 ambian and 4 soma but I wont touch them. I just feel good knowin they are there, plus they dont help with the pain.I have a bottle of biofreeze thats helped so much with my legs its like ben gay but better,so i smell like my granny now. I also have been goin out on my patio and i walk around and get fresh air it helps too.I have taken about 50 showers so that has been a lifesaver.I just want this to be over.Its gonna get better i know and my husband has been amazing. I honestly dont think i could have even tried to do this if he wasnt around. I just dont know what will stop the cravings yet. Will that ever end?

[littlebit667]

the cravings will lessen.  I noticed that if I could stay busy with something for about 20 min. they tended to go away.  Day 5 should be better and by day 7 a lot better.  The hard part is staying off of those little devils.  Aftercare is so important.  This group is great, but the one on one in person really helps.  

Your brain is really trying to get you to take.  Do not let it win.  Those brain connections that it has stopped making have to start working again and it does not want to.  :)  When I was struggling with the same thing..the first answers to my first post here was this:

You have to remember how opiates work, and why you feel depressed etc. when you quit taking them and after you are over the withdrawals.

Opiates bound to the opioid receptors in your brain and body. They release their artificial endorphins to them, and block the bodies natural endorphins. After a while the neurons that produce the body's natural endorphins disappear. There is no need for them so they just don't rejuvenate like they would normally.

When you stop taking the opiates,  they leave your opioid receptors bare, and they are calling out for your body's natural endorphins, but there isn't any there at first. You body has to repopulate the neurons that make them, and this takes time.

Endorphins like dopamine  control your moods, anxiety, sadness, anger, happiness, pain etc.

You will slowly get your "old self" back as these neurons repopulate and begin increasing their endorphins production. After being off the opiates for a month, they should be about 45-50% of normal, and be back to normal within a year.
So hang in there, you will feel better and better as the months roll by.

Try keep busy and keep your mind focused on positive things instead of dwelling on the depression, anxiety, etc. that are only temporary and will disappear as your endorphins return to normal.

It really helped me understand a lot.  

that is why aftercare is so important...it takes a long time for your brain to finally wake up and start doing it's job.  Those cravings are the brain not quite working up to par.

Keep posting...you are doing great!

[blue_violet]

One thing I stumbled upon is that the nausea medication zofran will help with the cravings part of the w/d - couldn't hurt to try it for a few days. It's helped me a lot.

Hope you're feeling better today...

[goincrzyincali]

I made it to day 5, and i actually slept all night last night i took my cold pm meds, and they worker. I slept till 9am! I woke up and I felt like a new person. I did not pick up the scrips. but i did call my dr. and tomorrow ill talk to him and tell him what i have been doing and why. Then ill go from there. but i do feel so much better.The cravings have still popped up now and then, i just tell myself ''you made it past the worst, and you would never want to do that again,so stop'' and i feel a little better.I wont lie but day 2,3,and 4, i prayed god to just let me die.But i knew i needed to get past it, so i took a shower, drank some juice and took 2 advil. and told my husband to talk to me to get my mind off it. Iwas in bed for 3 days straight, but today i went outside and walked around just a little, i did dishes,and finished the laundry i started yesterday, even hung it and put away!and now my son and me are watchen movies together.and i have felt 70 percent better,i still sneeze once in awhile,not eatin much, and yawning, but no more immodium! and my body only feels slightly beaten,not like i was mowed down by a convoy.I so glad i had this site to help me. you guys have been amazing. and just so you know a lil about me. I am 37 with 5 children from 20 to 8 and i was a dispatcher for 12 years and i lost my job cuz of the pills.And took even more. but then i realized im gonna loose my amazing husband and my family.so this is the begining of my new life and im so happy and proud OF ME...AND ALL OF YOU here to start your life over again. Im a tough chick with over 25 tattoos and noone ever seen me as weak...so if i can do this anyone can! Its hard i know trust me i gave birth to five children with no pain meds.and would do it all over again. before i would ever go thru this.but i did it to myself and im gonna get me back....EVERYONE PLEASE STAY STRONG IT WONT LAST THAT LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!pray to whoever you pray too, even if its yourself it gets better,dont ever be a quiter when it comes to YOUR LIFE!!

[gnarly_1]

HEY CONGRATS on day 5 and making it threw to the other side now comes the next step.....aftercare fir you to be successful long term you cant just sit in front of the tv and expect this to go away it wont and the minute you drop your guard it will run right over you again I see it time and time again those that seek out aftercare wind up with long term sobriety those that do nothing are often here 6mo from now doing this again you think it no fun once try it on a few more times groups like N/A are free and will teach you what you need to know to stay clean and sober its worth 1hr a week more is better but my goal is to get people to commit to 1hr a week to there recovery it will be time well spent I wish you all the best in your recovery become pro/active in it good luck and God bless......Gnarly  

[lululuv995]

wow, u should be proud of yourself! After 15years, i think u have done fantastic! you have helped fill up my hope bank lol. Im going into treatment soon (after xmas at the latest) and im excited to be starting my life over, but also nervous as hell. I hope you get some after care or a recovery program, most of them are just healthy ways of living drug free, and would benefit anyone addict or not, infact i know a fair few 'normal' peeps who would be much different if they worked a program in their life.
So i wish you all the best, and your kids have the best xmas present ever, a clean mummy, the same gift i wanna give to mine!