why recovering addicts lose intrest in sex

Question

My bf is a recovering addict/alocholic and every since he started his recovery he has no intrest in sex. I don't understan why and he can't really explain it, all he said was they talked about it in his group and its called "the wall" and its normal. But what is "the wall" how long does it last, will it ever get better??

Kanela · Answer

maybe because when they attended those many sessions they learn how to control themselves, learned how to respect themselves. And realizes the values of giving yourself to someone.

dominosarah · Answer

Just give it some time bratty.......getting clean is a big change in our bodies and our minds.  The sex drive will come back..........sara

bratty5 · Answer

Well I'm pretty sure he is not having sex with himself and I have given him plenty of chances to get out because that's what I thought too that since we were together in his addiction that maybe now that he is sober he did'nt love me. But he swears that's not it and he doen't know why he doesn't have any desire to be intimate.

day5 · Answer

Maybe sober, he is just not that into you. I know sexual anxiety and being a recovering Catholic, I had all kinds of phobias and fears about sex that made drugs a sexual lubricant if you will. Addicts are risk takers. I know first hand that getting sober does not mean that everything returns to status quo. Sometimes getting sober has been such a reality check that I end up using again. If you were w/ him in his addiction, maybe he realizes he is not into you? If he is having sex w/ himself and not you, there is a problem. That is, he is not into you. I personally have every reason in the world to be intamate w/ the healthiest woman I could ever imagine, but she just does not turn me on. I met her when I stopped using and she is a bit of a caretaker, very attractive, totally into me and a great career, but I am a recovering addict. I know that it takes a loong time for me to really love someone in a healthy way and now if it isn't real, I can't fake it. This may cause severe anger, but I am guy and you asked.

dominosarah · Answer

His sex drive will come back.....and when it does i hope you have some vacation time...you will need it!!!!!!!!!!!!

newgirl286 · Answer

Once I made it past 2 months, my sex drive has gone through the roof... I feel like I missed out on the last 4 years of possible sexual encounters. I had no idea how much of my sex drive I had lost due to my addiction... But I am grateful and ready to have sex for the first time in 4 years without an opiate!!! I am looking forward to that natural high!!! yeah...

jt808 · Answer

well when i was deel in my addiction i could care less bout sex not even think bout it but every time i get more than 5 days clean i cant stop thinking about it im like in high school again so im not sure maybe some people just act differently like one person said that when her husband was in addiction he was a horball and i wasnt now i am and he isnt it coukld b the DOC mine was norcos...so tht mite be a possibllity

firefish · Answer

My interest went up once I got past the physical w/d.  Still is. No problem here.  Clean for 3 months now.  Oh, and I'm a guy.

Ella789 · Answer

I guess I think it that cause I want the guys point of view? hummm 
I don't have that problem personaly, when my hub's ready then so am I.   I can kinda read him after all these years.

Ella

minim · Answer

so my boyfriend and I both are recovering addicts- i got clean a week after him. Now he is the horn ball and I am the one not interested- can't be just a 'guy' thing... curious to hear others thoughts...

outotown · Answer

Ok with me i went into depression cuz i saw all the hurt i did to my family and thought there is no way my wife loves me like she did before addiction. So with that on my mind I found it very hard to shoot pool with a rope if you get what im saying. But its not as often now than it was but there is alot more passion than there has been in a long time, give him love and time