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withdrawls

Hello,
I will try and make this short.  I am not a herione addict..I hate needles in fact.  I recently got married and I have fibromyalgia. so I am in a lot of pain.. My husband lied to me and told me he was taking valium but i found out he had been taking methadone for 9 yrs.  I ask him to quit. instead he started giving me small doses of his meth for my pain..next thing i know I am taking his nightly dose of 40 mgs every day for 5 months. I have to get off this..I am going to divorce him at some point in time. He likes the drug and I have made the worst decision of my life getting addicted to a drug like this. I did take lorecet for quite a long time for my fibromyalgia . I am taking 35 mgs this week and plan on decreasing 5 mgs per week until i get down to 5.I have some xanax and valium i can use if needed.. thn..but i was wondering if you could tell me how bad it may be>? I refuse to go to a clinic to detox..I know I can do this on my own within 2 months.I believe very strongly in God and he will be there to help me.
God Bless
CARE
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Avatar universal
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!
HOW DO YOU POST AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE?
HAVE NOW CLUE!
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Avatar universal
GOD
Hello!

Yes, LOTS of people come here every day, but If you want some answers, please post your questions near the TOP of the page... Most people just skim the lastcouple of days, so ONce again, post near the top!

As for a good schedule to taper down, the SLOWER the BETTER..
Also take LOTS of Immodium, and I find that Benadryl, and KavaKava help greatly for getting some needed sleep!

If you have any other qustions, please re-post them on one of the first couple of strings near the top of the page..

Good Luck,
Jess
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Avatar universal
Any one come in here?  I really need help!!!
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Avatar universal
Hello
Im lookin for some advice.. Im trying to detox at home from perocet. been taking it for 2yrs due to a bad back. I have been abusing them. this is scary, sometimes about 40 a day.
My mom know, and is helping me.
I need to find a schdule to get me off slowy.
I have foryt left,that my mom has...Ihave been through this before, and i know the 2nd day is the worst. Im scared, because i have to go to work. I cant call out, I have been on vac all this week.  So i go back on Monday, and im scared as ****.
I know about taking alot of vitiams espically vit C.
but i need help on how to ween my self down.
thank you
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Avatar universal
I am posting in this forum as well as others to ask for advice on WD's. I have Neurontin 300mg, Ben Gay, Ensure Plus and some Xanax. I am taking close to 15 10/500 plus 12 Soma's per day. his time it has been a year of use. Last time it was 3 years and I hurt and felt like I had the flu for 3 day. The JIMMIE LEGS, as I call them, lasted for weeks. Hot bath and BEN GAY. This difference this time is I have GOD on my side. I have been tappering off looking to stop on July 4th. Today I cut my intake doen to 11 from 16 to 18. I feel fine.

Anyway, I am new at posting but please help me stand tall so that I can pass the test and go the distance.

Sturgil
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Avatar universal
I do hope you will seek rehab if you really want off the methadone.  It is the hardest thing to kick.  I know the stomach ills and cold sweats and jerking.  I am lucky to have both a clinic and doctor who helped me last time I detoxed.  
This time I have to detox really slowly because I'm working full time.  The clinic will allow me to do that, and I can afford it this time.  Last time, I dropped too quickly.  Hang in there.  You are not a failure, just an addict like me.  We come from all walks of life.
The last rehab I was in had many medical personnel, including about 13 doctors.  I was a nurse, so I had to attend the professional meetings also.  You are not alone.  Keep posting and let us know how you are.  Hold up you head, because many good people have walked the road you are on.    Ava
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Avatar universal

Please don't beat yourself up. As far as hitting bottom, you choose how far down the elevator goes. IT will only get worse if you continue to use. That is as much a tenet of truth as the golden rule.

Whatever your decision regarding your husband, you will be much better equipped to deal with it after getting some clean time and talking to healthy people. Your sobriety is not about him, it's about you. Save yourself.
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Avatar universal
i really, REALLY hope you stick with this...you've made the step, you've suffered, don't go back.  do you have parents in the area or a friend's house you could go to?

you are doing the best thing for yourself and child - i have a child too, so i know what guilt you are going thru.

you must be so achingly disappointed in your husband, but he has to reach his own "rock bottom" - you can't let him drag you down with him.  just remember, you will have to go thru this at some point - every addict does.  you've already started, so you don't want to turn back now.

even if you don't have anywhere else to go, let your husband take care of you and your child.  make paramount decisions when you are well again.  don't think into the future right now, just try to get thru each moment.

let your husband's unwillingness to get clean make you stronger - you will be the "rock" for your child - you will be the one who's got it together....YOU CAN DO THIS!

keep writing - you'll get tons of support here.  i'm praying for you...
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Avatar universal
i DO NOT hate you - i have relapsed many times.  if you go inpatient, you can ask what they will give you.  i had buprenex where i went...not all give the same thing.  some give clonodine and other stuff to treat your symptoms.  most that i know of will give you something for the runs. like i said it is your right to ask what their method of treatment is.  the length of stay is different everywhere, and it may also depend on how you are doing while you are there - ask that question too.

one of my main concerns would be your child.  do you have someone you can trust to leave her/him with?  Or, is your husband willing to try and be responsible for her/him while you are in the hospital?  if you are worrying about your kid while doing this, it will make it all the more difficult.  i am lucky to have my husband and some great family and friends to talk with.  one of my friends (the one with the pot problem) even offered to help pay for my trip to fl to go to the clinic that eventually was the place that helped me the most. we didn't need the money, but the fact that he was willing was so incredible sweet...that in itself helped me just knowing he was that supportive.

i'm not going to be around much until tomorrow (sun) night.  i would call (at the minimum) three inpatient places, and then make your decision about which one to pick.  ask ALL your questions...it is your right to know.  

let us know how you make out...i'm and praying for you.
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Avatar universal
Hi,
  Your words are beautiful and I thank you..but I already messed up.  I failed.  But I am going to call and find out about rehab.  I have to be strong and I need to get out of here to do that.  I know and understand what you said to me about me being the strong one and doing this for my child.  But I can't stay here watching him(husband) freak out because he is running out. I would be ok if it he would just let this go...god why can't he let this go. You talk about rock bottom...well, I have hit my emotional rock bottom...not a physical one but I just am tired of it..does that count?  I know he won't hit rock bottom until he has it taken away from him..I am scared for his work, our home, our way of life, God...He saw that I was so serious and it's like it makes him feel better or justified to have me there...I hate myself for not being strong.  I am hoping you are not going to hate me..I really want to do this, that hasn't changed that only thing that has changed is, i have 34 pills in my drawer...yup that's right...I was wondering if someone might know about rehad stuff..what do I need to ask...I will call and talk to someone today..a bit nervous but figured I don't have any other choice at this point.  The length of stay..ect??let me know if you can think of anything important....do they ussually do a taper?  Will they give my imodium?? I will die without my imodium:)  what goes on...scary when you have no idea...and I won't get in trouble for calling?? Right?? bring it on...
thank you again for everything and I am still here..I am still here.
Missy
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Avatar universal
you will not get in trouble for calling rehabs.  you may eventually get in trouble if you keep going on like you are tho...
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Avatar universal
well you were right!! He got home and the first thing he started doing was calling for refills...I guess he's not on the same page. I am not that strong, god what am I going to do...??I have a young child and a husband that I love very much and I feel so stuck.  I haven't done anything bad yet but I can't help hearing what you said over and over....I have to leave..Missy
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Avatar universal
Hi,
  I am doing ok..I am freezing yet sweating through t-shirt after t-shirt.  My hubby is coming back today.  I asked him to.  I forgot how bad the stomack hurts...yuk..this is painful..but I keep telling myself it will be over soon..by monday i will be better(at least a lot better than I feel now) my legs are twitching and I ache, It is hurting to type these letters. I am going to try to post as much as I can. I am being strong..but this SUCKS>  It's worth this I know..I know that..I really do.
it still sucks.
Missy
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Avatar universal
Hi there Missy,
I'm sorry your hubbie left. I don't know what is best for your situation, but if it were me, I'd have wanted hubbie to take care of the little one for me while I was going through it.

Be careful of your emotions during this. WD makes you cry at the drop of a hat, and makes you review your entire history. Don't be too hard on yourself. Look at your 'stuff' without condeming yourself. If you remember nothing else that I say remember this one sentence: "Compassion is the foundation of change".

Start the imodium before you think you need it, if you haven't already.  Trust me on that..lol.

And yes, valium 10mg is a good med to help you through WD. If you don't stay on it past 4 or 5 days you'll be ok.  I had 15 of them when I started WD, and only took 7.  It didn't let me sleep, but at least it took a tiny bit of the edge off.  

Hot baths were the key. I spent a ton of time in hot water, but am lucky enough to have a hot tub outside my house. I cried a lot, but I wrapped my arms around myself and apologized for loosing myself, and loved myself back to life, and let others love me back as well. My husband was right there for me, as were a few folks on this forum. Most who were members here when I detoxed are gone now, except for Skip.  

Good luck sweetie. You CAN do this. Just know that the crying is normal, don't condem yourself, you've got to love yourself through this. That is so important. Please remember this!

lots of love,
WW
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Avatar universal
Good morning WitchyW:).....I have had a hard time just turning on the computer.  I didn't really sleep last night and this morning been throwing up and stomach hurts so bad.  I am just so sweaty.  I feel horrible.  I do know this will pass..I do.  I will go take a nice warm shower.  and write later.
thanks..missy
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Avatar universal
Welcome to the forum.  My name is Ava, i am a recovering dilaudid addict on methadone.  You've gotten some great advice.
Usually when you are going through the withdrawals, you also go through the guilt. Realize you are not the only mother who has abused drugs.  My daughter watched me kick dilaudid and methadone before, and she knew I was sick.  After the stomach ills, shakes and chills, then you will hurt for a little while.
It should be over in two weeks or maybe a little longer.  It is doable.  I have done it.  
It is disappointing that you do not have the healthiest home life for detoxing.  If it gets too bad, go to the ER.  They are used to helping addicts make it through the withdrawals.  Good luck.  Keep us posted.
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Avatar universal
Well, just talked to my husband and he might be gone until Sunday...at least that is what he said.  Of course this is good and bad at the same time.  I am glad that I can get through this without my son being here but I am kinda scared about being all alone.  Granted if we were both going down it could get pretty ugly.  He did this one other time...and it was a good thing for a while.  But we went back to using.  The difference is he is quitting when he gets back, he said that I would be better and then he could go down (WD) and I could handle our child without feeling guilty like I already do.  I have to think that he is doing this for all of us and not that he is just putting off the WD himself so he can get more...I need to believe that he is doing this for us.  I will believe that for now..and once I get my head on straight I will handle it if he really isn't being the kind and considerate person I think he is being.  I never noticed how lonely my house can be.  I could go into the backyard and water my plants..or do another load of laundry.  I keep getting these "chills" and then sweats..my stomach is getting a bit upset.. I am sure tonight will be great fun...
  hey quick question...I have valium..and haven't been taking it at all..they are 10 mg ...what would be a good dose to help with the aches and sleeplessness?  Anyone have any idea's?  I will take that tonight..and when my stomach gets really bad I will take the Imodium AD.....OK that's all right now..I need to go get something to drink and change my shirt..sweating through it..yuk...guess I need to think of all the impurities that are coming out of me...right???ok bye for now
Missy
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Avatar universal
Hi,
  Just watching Oprah and crying...the topic was about how some families bond with their children.  And of course I am sitting here thinking about all the things that I have done so wrong and feel so bad about.  I am still feeling OK, in a bit of a panic (not too bad) only searched for 30 seconds for a stray pill.  Then told myself to stop and walk away.  I knew I would do that so yesterday I went to all the usual places and they were empty but I still found myself casually looking.  I feel kinda hot right now, I turned on the AC then got too cold and now I feel like I am getting a bit warmer again... Like I said the wd haven't even started yet and I am emotionally falling a little apart.  I just got my butt off the couch to do a load of laundry and just came in here to post.  I am ok..I am just getting really depressed.  Maybe I will go make something to eat, as it will probably be the last thing I will be able to keep down for a while.  Talk in a little while.
Missy
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Avatar universal
A couple things. First, done' has a long half-life and it may take a day or so before you feel sick. Second, try not to have any expectations about when you will feel better. You can't control when that will be, just make a committment to ride it out no matter what. Expectations are often foiled, and can cause real anxiety problems, as well as the all too common, "aw **** it, what's the use. Let's get some more" scenario.

When I kicked recently, I told myself over and over that I had made my own bed and I would (literally and figuratively), lie in it. All you need to believe is that it will get better, and not worry about when. It's up to your body.

Also, remember that many addicted people say, "**** it" one too many times, and stay out there for the rest of their lives. Don't take for granted your committment. There are many examples of people here who have done it. They will all tell u the same thing: Stay the course.
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Avatar universal
i DO understand your frustration.  bup is fda approved for pain and has been for many years.  it is not approved for use in detox yet...that is what everyone is waiting for.  you should print up some info on it and show it to your doc...maybe that will convince him that it is a great med for chronic pain.
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Avatar universal
Hi groovy,
Yep, I'm in sunny California.  There's got to be a doc here somewhere willing to prescribe buprenex for pain, but I've been to two so far and been offered oxy but not bup. Wierd. One told me that bup was not approved for chronic pain, which meant he was either misinformed or lying to me.  The other said he didn't know much about it, would research it for me, but felt that due to the severity of pain I reported oxy was the best med for me.
Doh.  So..no meds for me 'cept the bup I ordered. I want it legitimately though. My health insurnace company even told me they will pay for it! Can you imagine my frustratino? I don't want oxy! I'm too afraid of re-addiction.

Missy, post all you need to here, any time. Babble away. When I detoxed last August that is what I did. I posted more than anyone that week. Babbled on and on about what I was going through. It totally got me through it. So did email. Feel free to drop me an email at ***@**** if you want some extra support.  You have the green light from us to post as much as you need to. We'll be with ya every step of the way.

love,
WW
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Avatar universal
GOD
Hi!

To answer your question, YES, it really does help out helping others when you are in recovery. THe biggest thing to realize is that by trying to help others, you are paying back all those who did ANYTHING to help you. Look at this as a goal for yourself when you are in recovery. If you can help just ONE PERSON out of 100 that you try to help, it is all worth it!

I wish you the best in your recovery, but just remember, that for some people, it takes several "Tries" to get it right. As long as you have the DESIRE to stop, you are heading in the right direction!

Love ya,
Jess
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Avatar universal
Hi everyone,
  Well I ran out today at 11 am...but I did that on purpose, ( I really did) my husband has gone away for the night so I thought I would get a day start since I would be alone.  I will probably start to feel like **** around late afternoon.  I will be on here as much as I can.  I usually have trouble with my body aching so bad it's hard to get out of bed.  But I will need to post.  Is it ok..if I just keep posting how I am feeling.  Or is that too depressing for all of you.  I am sure I will sound like a blubbering slob in 12-24hrs from now...so..is it OK?  I kinda wanted to get the "OK" from the group.  
  You all seem so close, I think that is great.  Hey, I was thinking that we all go through this **** for some bigger reason than we even know.  I am in school and I couldn't help but wonder if after I get into recovery mode, if I am supposed to help people?  I know it's early to even think about that right now, I have to help myself, but....I was trying to find some good out of all this garbage.  I will know a whole other side to life.  One that I would never have thought I would ever experience.  Do you find that going through this and being in recovery has opened doors of giving back to people like me?  I can see that some of you are so active in posting and helping others, does this help you?  I hope I can be on your side soon.  I am going to go do the dishes and finish up the laundry while I am able to move.  I will post in a little bit.
  I thank you for your support.  God help me. I can do this. I am scared I am so sorry that I have done this to myself and others.  I am sorry.
Missy
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Avatar universal
i can't remember what part of the country you're in...i'm guessing ca, but i'm not sure why.  the clinic in fl also has an office in philly...i thought about going there, but i figured if i had to go somewhere it might as well be a nice, warm place.

bup actually is equal to morphine as far as pain relief goes...i've read that and also that is what my doc has told me.  i finally have gotten my dr. to be willing to prescribe it, but my new health coverage will not cover it.  it is not on there preferred drug list...whatever that means.  addicts can't catch a break anywhere i'm telling ya...

anyway, the sun is shining and it is a beautiful day here in boston...my daughter and i just got back from the park.  i hope you start feeling better soon:) keep singing...
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