wow, it is quiet tonight

i hope everyone is getting to sleep tonight, sleepless for me, but other symptoms getting better. god bless all on here.

[1911]

I am so happy for your son and you have every right to be proud of him.  I can see he is going to grow up and be a success.

One of my sons is a nurse in charge of an ICU and teaches at a school of nursing.  He came over tonight to ask a little advice.  Right now he has patients with multiple problems and more student nurses than he can handle.  He was feeling overwhelmed.

I explained that his great grandfather would walk 5 miles home from a day's work while carrying two logs on his shoulders for the family kitchen stove.  Despite a day of work and 10 miles round trip walk with logs, great grandfather had a beautiful large vegetable garden he tenned in the evening.  As a boy he taught me how he was able to maintain such a large garden.  He said, "I come home, change my clothes, then work on just a small section of the garden.  I don't worry about the whole garden...just what I can work on tonight."  

In our modern world of multi-tasking and being everything to everyone, we have lost the old world wisdom of focusing on a small success.  In stead, we chose to visualize all that we are responsible yet cannot control simultaneously.

I hope this helps a little.  The story helped my son.  And, it is how I got through w/d, i.e. focusing only on that small part I could control right then.

~George~
Day 17

[betterthanthis]

i am sorry for your health issues. i know what you mean about the kids. i used to coach mine in football and basketball.now with the hip, knee,and back i feel like i let them down.we are down to wind chill of 7 below outside. just adds to the w/d bullshit.

[amythist2779]

PEEK A BOO. Did I scare you? LOL I am going to have another sleepless night too. Today has been by far the worst for me regarding my back pain. I swear its been a constant 8.5 to 9 on the pain scale today. I mean my pain meds arent even touching the pain today, its that bad.

On top of that I feel like such a piece of sh*t. I feel like such a bad mother. Over the past 3 years my chronic pain issues have spiraled out of control. NO matter what I try nothing seems to be helping. I dont know if I even told you all of what was wrong with me or not. If not then I will, If I have, sorry you have to read this again...ok first of all
1. I have fibromyalgia
2. myofascial pain
3. arnold chiari malformation
4. a pituitary tumor
5. cushings disease
6. bipolar/ and anxiety disorder
7. restless leg syndrome
8. I also have some OCD habits but hell that is nothing compared to everything else.
Hmm I think thats about it for the time being...well and of course the back thing I am dealing with now, that I have no idea what the hell is causing so much pain.

So the reason I feel like such a bad mother is because I have 2 little boys that love sports. I physically can not participate in them with them anymore, there is just no way. Well my oldest son had his bowling party today for leagues. Hes 11. I could not make it, which I know broke his heart because he is mommas boy. I feel like **** and so guilty, I cried for so long. He came home with 2 trophies and 3 patches though. One of the trophies was because he had the higest improved average out of everyone else. The other one was for perfect attendance. Im so proud of him!!! I wish I could have gone, but right now I can hardly make it to the rest room. Thank god for my laptop or else I would not be able to communicate with everyone here.

Well enough about my crappy day. I hope you had a decent one. I will probably be up for awhile, I will check in every so often to see if there are any new posts, or any action going on. It was real quiet in here last night. I was bored out of my mind. Oh well, I spend too much time on this damn thing anyways.

Well take care and maybe I will see ya in here later,
Aurora

[amythist2779]

Oh hey I know what you mean about the coldness. It was so cold here this morning they couldnt get the school buses to start, so school was delayed 2 hours. Its supposed to get down to like 20 below tonight I think...that is just crazy. I am just thankful that we did not get the snowfall that hit New York. I could not imagine having to deal with something like that. I mean they were showing people on the roof tops shoveling snow for heavens sake. Can you imagine what kinds of sloppy wet muddy messes they are going to have after awhile? Hope it doesnt warm up too quick and melt it all too fast either though, thats all they need is a damn flood in the middle of winter.

The weather this year has just been crazy. It just seems like nothing is normal anymore. There are so many days I wish I could go back in time and not have to worry about the stresses of adulthood.

I may only be 28 but if I knew then what I do now, I would have done a few things different. I was a pretty good kid/teenager anyways. We always lived out in the country so I had no way to go anywhere to get into any serious trouble. Just the basic sibling bickering trouble. I was never spanked, or grounded...not because I was spoiled because trust me we were poor, but because I had/have respect for my parents. Something I am trying to teach my children, but its just not sinking into their little heads yet. I suppose they are good for the most part, but I made the mistake of spoiling them and giving them what they wanted when I was able to work and had money. I did it because I always said I wanted my kids to have what I never did. Well now that mommy is sick and does not make that kind of money they are having a hard time coping with the fact that I can not get them whatever they want anymore. Wow I have no idea how I got on that subject but I guess I needed a little vent even if it was pointless.

Anyways I think its because I am so sleep deprived...lol. Seriously. I feel like my brain is mush or stuck on idle and has no gears to go forward. I need to take a break from the computer screen, but I have nothing else to keep me busy or to pass the time. So here I am...**sigh** story of my life...lol.

Well I really do need to take atleast a 5 min break, need to get something to drink, and I need to stretch a little bit. Leg is starting to get pretty damn stiff.
If you are still on and get this tonight, I will see ya in a few. If not...and you got lucky enough to sleep, see ya in the morning.

aurora

[minnie11]

Just wanted to say I loved that story about your grandfather, what great advice. Actually I have noticed that you give good advice too. And congratulations on your 17 days.
Minnie