wtf!!!!!!!

Hello,ive responded to post from others hoping i helped im 8 days clean but having a ruff evening,my restless legs are all but gone my back is still tense but managable i slept 7 hours last night.i woke up alittle tense with my normal aches wich my normal morning was hope and skip to the bathroom open my cool little pouch grab a friend swing by the fridge to grab a dr pepper,jump back in bed and wait my 20-30 minutes for my day to start,4.5 years has been long enough ive gone 8 days welcoming every pain and every feeling that i deserve,im not hiding the pain will keep me from coming back. My goal is 14 days i already passed my first of 7 days wich i set because i read here a bunch of people felt better at 7-8 days wich is very true,but i think i just had a slight anxiety attack wich got my heart pumping and i could feel it in my head i came back here to get an answer but since i started writing this it has gone away so i answerd my own question,ive got alot of help here and i hope ive helped in return,in my normal life im a cocky jerk lol but am as human as they come i wish i would have posted daily on my progress as that was what i was looking for when i came here i wanted to know what to expect at daily stages for me setting time goals has been huge i make it to one and aet another,,,,,here is my run down day one,last 10-325 norco at 3 pm withdrawls started within 4 hours as i was taking one every 4-5 hours,i never slept was freezing cold, aching,sweating.i had 4 zanex bars that i got to help me get thru this i took one peace of a 4 bar to try and sleep fyi i hate zanex but i beeded to relax,,after about 2-3 hours i woke up and was up all night wich means i fell asleep at 9 woke up at 12 and was up all night,had to get up at 6 to go to work felt like death coild barley walk yawning every couple minutes and freezing,,fyi keeping a heating pad under your back really helps with the cold a?d aches i would lay on it to get warm and then move it under my but and it helped with my legs aching ,,,for ke my legs and tense upper back has been the worst pain i feel like there is acid flowing under my skin ,,,wich is what makes me want a pill to know that in 20 minutes i could feel fine is what makes me want to take one,this is my second time around the first time i went to my doctor and he gave me gabapintin for the pain and cembalta for my mind ,,i felt great took them when i left his office and never looked back until one day i figured if it was that easy to quit i could have a few and be fine?? Well here im am that is why im not taking anything to help myself i want to feel everything it will keep me clean as i will never ever go thru this **** again,,anyway back to my timeline day 2-3 were the worst freezing hurting all over my mind racing,but i finally had a awesome strech it felt so good i kept trying for another but you cant make yourself stretch unfortunatly,now ive been at work all week thru this and the only thing that got me thru was monster energy drink called rehab ive never drank energy drinks so when i was shopping them i thought rehab was ironic so i went with it ,day 4 was alittle better emotions got me and i was mad,crying, depressed but never thought of taking a pill ,ive made it to day 8 with 8 in my bathroom i figure if i cant quit with them in my house i cant quit ,,its not like there hard to get,,knowing they were there helped in a weird way ,,day 5 was pretty good i wanted to move around a bit,cleaned my apartment even washed my dog,but i was still on 2-3 hours of sleep per night wich i didnt fight i just put in my headphones and listend to music that moved me emotionaly and reved me up ,plus soaking in hot bath really helps by the way,i didnt and dont want to take anything that will dull pain or slow my body and mind from waking up i figure thats my goal so i dont want to drag it out ive taken advil and melitonin for the tense and pain,,,,nothingwith acetamiphin in it as thats a big part of my addiction,,,and im not feeding this thing anything,,,day 6 started pretty good i took my daughter to breakfast and we weny swimming at the gym for 2 hours plus i sat in the hot tub for a while oddly by the time we left i was so tense in my upper back and head i had to take a couple advil along with melitonin and managed a 1 nap maybe i was just really tired from still no sleep ,,it kindof felt like i stepped back to days 3-4 wich hurt mementaly but my end goal is 14 days so i didnt stress to much about it,,,my doctor says after 14 days your mind is not addicted anymore so thats where i set my goal ,,,day 7 was really good i had energy my mind felt good my legs took a big turn for the better and i slept a solid 7 hours wich was huge ,,,,today day 8 i got woke up by my alarm for the first time ,i laid in bed for a bit,got up clear headed went to work ,was in a good mood but around 330 i crashed hard was really tired and just wanted to lay down wich sucked cause i planed on going to the gym all day. Wich is maybe why i worked myself up i thought i was on the down hill side and got reminded where i really was,wich is ok im still not at my goal so im not expecting anything less but it would have been nice to cut this short,,,in the end its 9 pm day 8 heading to day 9 with an open mind. To all that are going thru this we can all make it you just have to want it,just know what you feel is your mind playing tricks on you try not to take it serously i know its hard as hell but thats what it boils down too,we are playing the ultimate game of patience and we are the ones that started it ,,you got to pay to play sadly its time to pay. Take care ill be around,,ill let yall know about day 9

[SmilingBright]

Keep on trucking.  U r doing great!!!
Sorry so short.  Can't sleep and don't want to Wake  myslef up Completly. will be praying for u

[dominosarah]

Congrats on 9 days clean!  That is a great achievement.  Stay in the day, dont worry about tomorrow.  Time will be your friend now as recovery is a slow process.  

[scottscott1973]

Thanks for the support,honestly ive already beat this it still hurts and i want a pill as im awake at 348 am on day 9 this is the hard part for me my first dose of the day was my fav since its the one i felt the most,this is going to turn into my diary im hoping it helps people who happen to come thru here,for me i feel like ive been reborn? Its like somthing youv seen in a movie,i took pills to escape my life i honestly dont believe in god i know most people do but i belive in what i see and all i see is me,i figure if god helps you be a better person then go with it i dont push my view on anyone,but im on day 9 i got me here and youll have to get here for yourself,this has been the hardest thing ive ever done and it has changed alot of the way i think about life,could be the rant of a drug addict but its working for me,im finding myself thru this ive been lost along time maybe fighting what we are going thru should be embracing and learning,,,its working for me. Day 9 coming with a pissy but positive attidude hopfully ill feel good too ill be back

[nursegirl6572]

Just want to lend my support and also say congrats on your accomplishments thus far!  You CAN do this!  We're all behind you.

Just an FYI...you MAY want to use some paragraph breaks.  No offense, but your post (for me) was VERY hard to read because it all runs together.  I don't want anyone's eyes to be bleeding!  LOL...Just kidding about that last part, but seriously, it would be super helpful to put some breaks in there.

Keep on doing what you're doing....better days are coming for you!!

[nursegirl6572]

Oh, and some periods too!  ;0)

[scottscott1973]

Lol sorry i actually thought i was doing pretty good,,good thing im good lookin lol thanks for the laugh i needed it

[nursegirl6572]

No problem.  It's not something a lot of people think about, but especially in a long post, it does make it much harder to read (and I'm old too, the eyesight isn't what it used to be...lol)

[FourJays]

Congratulations on day 9 and moving on!  I KNOW how hard it has been, but it will be the BEST thing you ever do in your life.  I completely agree with the hot tub soak - I think I spent half of my waking hours (which was most of the hours) of my detox in the tub accompanied by the playlist of my choice depending on my mood at that time.  Whatever it takes, just get through it.  You are almost there - keep up the positive attitude :)

[toothfairie]

Congrats on day 9 and going to work thru it all is amazing!! Keep posting for support. You can do this!!  You sound very positive! Keep it up!

[VICourageous]

Hi great job just keep stepping forward and do not look back. If u have been on this site you can see that the RLS is a big one on here and so is anxiety and sleep. Just check out some of the posting and u will find some hot info.I know I just saw yesterday a lot of natual vit they sell for the RLS. I was lucky and did not get it this time around but I prayed awful hard too!!!
Also a girl on this post was always talking about the Rhodiola on here and I have been using it now that I am almost in my 6 month. Wow just heads up, I got it and it is the best....It provides nutritive support for healthy stamina levels. The weakness seems to be the last stage. Also get the aminoacids. I got them compounded =1000mg for balnced protein protection. I just wanted to share besides my lig vit/min, magnz and on & on this has been a blessing...Just ride the wave it is short time compared to the yrs we used..
Vickie
PS Practice makes perfect when you post alot your writeing gets better & too the point!!!!!! My spelling su**ks but I have a dictionary by me!!!!!

[scottscott1973]

Day 9 coming to an end,,,getting this morning was ruff,ive been walking and standing all day my legs burned all day,,,,i crash at like 2 i was so tired and run down so i drank a monster rehab it got me thru my day,,,,,now im just layin in bed whooped,tense and in pain i took 2 advil jumped in hot bath tub for a bit and just took melitonin to try and relax ,,,,,this is day 9 i figured the hurting would be over ,,,,,its bringing me down like it wont ever stop. I caught myself thinking you dont have to go theu this what you were taking wasnt that bad,,,,dont think im letting that get to me my end goal is 14 days,,,,,,when i get there and if i still feel bad ill get my doctor involved again,,,,,,i think its just that im tense i feel my heart beating in my head and feel alittle dizzy i had the same thing last night and called it anxiety,,,,,,everyday is new ground for me i understand the well wishes but id like to hear how yall felt at stages of this,,,,.it would really help me out right now

[toothfairie]

I believe at 9 days i was still having some residual pain...and also i could feel my heart pounding as well when i lay down at night....the anxiety went away after a week or so....then it showed back up for couple week at day 22-23...but i made it thru work days....and it would stop after i got home and relaxed.  Hope this helped a little....but just know that you will feel better day by day....and you will have good and not so good days as well....i'm almsot to 120 days clean and i feel so much better and my energy is back almost to normal...working 2 jobs has helped actually, it forces me to move and helps me not think about other things.  Good luck with getting some rest...just let your mind relax and it will come...don't fight it.

[FourJays]

Hello - another 11 hours down - that is great!  I agree with toothfarie - you need to try to relax a bit and not worry so much about exactly what is going to happen each hour, each day.  Sometimes I think we get so anxious about it that the physical symptoms get worse.  By 14 days I was feeling MUCH better physically for sure - no more hot/cold sweating (one of my worst symptoms), much less anxiety and just overall felt better.  But there were ups and downs for the first month or so - heck even now at 100 days I still have some lingering symptoms (my main complaint is lack of energy).  Every person is different and it also depends on what you were taking, how much, how long, etc.  I think your plan of re-evaluating at 14 days is a good one.  Like you said, If you are not feeling like you are where you should be then your dr. may be able to suggest something to help.  In any case, w/d and recovery is rough.  Getting off the pills is the easy part; staying off is the real challenge.  You have to keep your eyes on the prize - even though I still have ups and downs, the feeling of being clean SO far outweighs the "high" that I chased for years from opiates.  Think about how crappy you have felt over the past few days . . . you will NEVER have to feel like this again.  Get to the other side - it is great here and gets better every single day.  Hang in there and keep posting how you are feeling ok?
Julie

[Jordan10013]

Day 9 coming to an end,,,getting this morning was ruff,ive been walking and standing all day my legs burned all day,,,
=========

Day 9 is past the point of no return, to drugs. You are over the hump. The discomfort will subside each day. From what I have read, the fatigue lasts the longest. You have to remember that an addiction was months or years long. Just like it takes a few years to take off the pounds put on by eating 4" thick pizza pies and donuts for dessert, it takes months to get back to 100% from an addiction.

Don't overdo it lest you get discouraged. I would NOT plan on long walks or exercise for the next 21 days.

Don't set unrealistic goals. This is not a science and you can't calendar how long each "phase" will take.

If you have to stand on your legs all day, at work. I feel for you. When experiencing WD symptoms I had trouble walking my dogs (meaning I did not walk them). I even had trouble cleaning up their messes on the pee pads. There was a total lack of motivation on my part.

I told the dogs to have mercy on me because was going through WD. They didn't give a rip. Instead they said "Here's some # 2 for you. Apply liberally, then repeat. And by the way, where's my breakfast!"
____________________

I crash at like 2 i was so tired and run down ,so i drank a Monster rehab it got me thru my day,,,,,now im just layin in bed whooped, tense and in pain.
========
That's fine. IMO you should be resting when you feel like resting. Don't push yourself hard. Don't psyche yourself out. Keep your mind busy. Getting exercise is in very small steps, literally.
____________________

I took 2 Advil, jumped in hot bath tub for a bit and just took Melatonin to try and relax.
===========

What works for me is hour-showers (usually until the hot water runs out). The water pounding all over is soothing.

Since Melatonin is natural, whatever works for you.

As to sleep I say that time sleeping is not time thinking about WD symptoms.
____________________

This is day 9 I figured the hurting would be over. It's bringing me down like it won't ever stop.

========

Again, don't psyche yourself out. Don't base your situation on what others say happened to them.

Don't set expectations on how you think you should be feeling, by now or at any set time.

90% of the game now is defeating the mind games the addiction is playing on you.
____________________

Other tips:

Make sure your potassium level is normal. (YooHoo chocolate drink and V8 work.)

Drink YooHoo, V8, and Gatorade like it is a daily religious ceremony.

Take two magnesium pills daily, one in the morning, one in the evening. That helps with the creepy crawly feeling, restless leg syndrome, and shakes.

You may be experiencing fatigue and a yucky feeling because of dehydration and hunger. (When going through WD most people don't feel like eating or drinking). See below.

I would NOT drink any energy drinks. The caffeine will add to your yucky feeling. If you can't get through the day, you can't get through it. IMO caffeinated energy drinks are not the answer.

Because going through withdrawals is a physical workout, you need to replenish fluids and proteins.

If you don't feel like drinking or eating, at the minimum drink Gatorade and Emergen-C vitamin drink.

Fill the freezer with easy-to-consume foods, that fill you up and provide protein (frozen bean and beef burritos are a good item, or any of the nuke-to-eat frozen meals). Any of the fruit smoothies are good too.

Dealing with the WD mind fcuk:

Keep the mind busy. An idle mind or where all you do is keep thinking "gee, I should feel better by now" will result in your feeling horrid.

If you have to work, tell the boss you have a wicked flu, stay home, and keep your mind busy.

I found what really helps keep my mind occupied is to watch something like "Game of Thrones" for free on Veetle *******. When I was going through horrid WD on day two and three, I got through an entire two days watching all 20 shows of seasons 1 & 2.

Veetle has FREE movies and many TV series.

There's also Netflix for $10 monthly. Consider Hulu.

But I have found Justin dot TV and Veetle ******* to be the best, because it is all FREE and there's always something you will find on there to keep your mind busy.

Disclaimer: I'm no expert. Hmm... now that I think about it, I'm not even an amateur. And others may differ. (For example, YooHoo has a high sugar content. But IMO when going through WD one needs the sugar to help with the fatigue and hunger pains. Plus it has potassium, which we all need.) I would not get hooked on YooHoo (pun intended) because of the sugar content, but while going through WD, gulp, gulp is the order of the day.

[scottscott1973]

Day 10 ,,,,,asleep at 9 up at 3,,,,, i call 6 hours a win compared to what ive been getting. Thank you for the responses it really helped i was pretty frustrated,, as ive read alot of posting saying people felt great at 7-10 days i guess they are the lucky ones,,,,,

[scottscott1973]

Still day 10 ,,,,i seem to crash energy wise at 2-230 im trying not to drink anymore monsters cause i think they are making me crash in the evening,,,i fell asleep from 4-7 i had gone to the store for snuff and i got a muscle milk,,,,drank the milk on the.way home and laid back down in bed ,i was out till 7,,,,,i felt pretty good when i got up,in a pretty good mood and my body feels pretty good,,,,my daughter and i went swimming again and i tried to push myself ,,,,,other then being tired i feel pretty good maybe its letting up.

[FourJays]

That is great to hear . . . I agree with the energy drink thing too.  I have found if I drink one of those I do have a crash later.  Sometimes it's still good to have one now and then if I need a "boost" to motivate me on an off day, but probably good not to make them a regular or daily thing if you don't have to.  The swimming is great too . . . are you lucky enough to be somewhere warm where you get to swim outside?   It's about 20 degrees where I am, so I guess there wont be much swimming for a couple of months yet :(  It is good to hear you are doing well . . .keep it up!

[YesLife4Me]

You should notice a marked improvement here soon.  The waiting game is the hardest.   After the initial 7-10 days, you will notice it in couple day blocks then weeks, then months as your brain heals.   You are on day 10.  That's great!!  I know it seems like a long time when detoxing.  Just know each day you are getting better.  Even if it doesn't feel like it.  Keep pushing forward and don't look back!

[scottscott1973]

Thanks for the kind words,,,im lucky enough to have a golds gym membership so indoor pool a?d hot tub for me to use,,,,,im in dallas tx lucky for me spring looks like it just hit,,its 70-80 outside with sunshine,,,,,i hate cold and winter it depresses me in a bad wayno bs i know i took more hydros just for somthing to do when it cold,,i think i mighy have got lucky and timed all this at the right time,,,,its the only thing i got right for a while but it is huge,,,,,honestly i feel dam good right now my legs ache alittle.but i have some energy,,i just out walked my dog for the first time in a long while lol but then again hes a fat english bulldog that likes sleep more then i like pills lol. Wow thats got to be a step forward ?being able to make a joke about it. Lol. I really dont find myself craving them like everyone says they are im craving the feeling im hoping to get without them,,going thru this its really apperent to me that you can try and help people all you want but if they are really not ready to quit your waisting your time,,,,not saying i wouldnt help somone that asked me for help,,,,im here for anyone going thru this this site and the people thay wrote to me helped me so much i cant thank yall enough,,,,,,well im heading to day 11 now that its here and i feel alittle better it doesnt seem like that long,,,,,where as yesterday if you were selling minutes i would have been buying ,,,im hoping for some sleep tonight but ill take what comes i truly think taking zanex day 1-2 set me back,,,i also think having to be on my feet all day yesterday moved things along faster,,,,to be ready to die yesterday and feel the way i do today proves to me that laying in bed waiting for everything to wake back up isnt the answer,,,,,day 1-4 hell yeah lay around be a bumb but then get moving i wish i would have pushed myself harder ,,,,,ill be back in the morning day 11 here i come ,,,,hoping for the best

[toothfairie]

yep day 11 is right around the corner for you!!  sleep will come soon....just be ready to watch tv or read etc if it doesn't come all at once....you sound much better now than you did yesterday....just keep hanging around here when you need to...this site is great....you can do this....you've come this far....it only gets better each day...not saying every day will be great but you are about to turn the corner to a new life!!  and that is great!  no more worrying about pills, counting etc....

[Rubber_Duck_Dog_Bone_in_the_pool_WhyNow]

Hi Scotts-Cot--- You are doing great! 10 days is awesome an you WILL be feeling better each day. Just don't let you head mess with you now.  10 days! WOW,,, too awesome.  Question please... are you a male or female (profile says female)?  I just don't hear of too many females using snuff, Another habit to tackle next! I still dip Copenhagen (for many years) and want to quit. But tobacco seems much harder to quit then opiates. But, that would be a new post in another room.  However, just awesome. , . , . tomorrow is day 11. Wx is looking good this weekend. Time to get out. Treat yourself a Red Lobster meal!  or BBQ a steak. You should be able to eat normal food about now. No more Chicken Noodle ...LOL

Congrats Scott-on-a-cot!!!!

[scottscott1973]

Lol,,,im a guy,,,, i changed that? I guess it didnt save,,,,,im copenhagen man myself and your right its much harder to quit. Plus norcos made dipping soooo much better i actually didnt dip day 2-3 i feltso bad i didnt want it i should have seized the opertunity and quit but ill take what i can get at this point its 405 in the morn i fell asleep at 1130 about 6 hours is all i can get and that is with melitonin im still not fighting sleep i know it will come,,,,,on the plus side after the swimming yesterday i was really tired my  daughter got a nap ,,,,i wish i would have ,,,,,after her mother picked her up i had a major energy rush and absolutly no pain it was like i switch got switched,,,,,,i didnt want to write this last night cause i didnt want to jinxs it ,,but i put my headphones on and went walking ,,not just walking speed walking hell i almost ran but even without pills im not a guy that runs unless im chased by somthing much bigger then me lol ,,,,,then jumped on my motorcycle went and tanned and grabbed a late dinner as i was starving,,,, finally.  It was great im hoping it stays like this but im still looking at my goal of 14 days if i take a step back it shouldnt get me too down ,,,,its day 11 im alittle tense in my back and neck and my legs are tight but think just from walking i sold all but 1 pill i had and i think ill have a flushing party for that bad boy today ,,,i still think knowing they were in the bathroom made it better,,theres no  reason to stress about not having them if your ready to quit your ready to quit,,,i could have held them in my hand this entire time and not taken one ,,,my mind was set on quiting and i was pissed off. It has been anything but easy but i got and am getting it done ,,,,,day 11 come on !!!!!

[VICourageous]

Good Job ! I like what you said if we were selling min u would have bought one...Ha! Well I remember back in sept when I came clean and everyday I woke up it seemed a bit better. If you look at my profile you will see my poly use and age. It did kick my but....But now there is a bigger light..
That is the best news that you go to the gym..Your dog sounds so cute. you know they say dogs and owners look alike???Ha!
Well keep on trucking forward and do not look back.
God Bless
vickie    Oh yes I live in N id I know about the snow!!!!!!!!!

[scottscott1973]

Wow,,,i got teased last night at around 9 i got a taste of freedom i had a huge burst of energy and was in the best mood i can remember ,,,no joke i grabbed my headphones and went walking im talking i walked atleast a mile ,,,fast,,,,i almost ran but was scared my legs would hurt and i cant take much more leg hurtin,,,i got done walking and jumped on my motorcycle and went to the gym and tanned lol yes im a guy still,,,high mantenence but a guy lol,,,, fyi if you dont set up your profile right at first abd yoi post it dont change when you change it,,,my bad ,,,anyway i got back home jumped in the car and went for chinese,,.after i killed that i fell asleep around 11-1130 and slept till 345 wich wasnt bad cause i felt great when i woke up ,,,,after laying in bed listening to music i managed to get up and go to the gym,,,,i killed it at the gym i worked out my upper body for 2 hours,,,,i just kept going and going it was crazy,,,i left gym abd went to work and had a great morning till about 1145,,,,then i crashed,,,,hard,,,,.my body started hurting i got tense the burning in my legs started again ???? I was crushed i thought this was over but i was very wrong,,,,i came home for lunch got my dog walked,layed in bed and fell asleel for bout an hour,..i woke up feeling like **** so i broke my rule and got a monster energy,,,,rehab,,,,if you hsve tp push thru your day they are great but in the state im in i do have a crash after i get home,,,,im hoping this is because i still havent got sleep,,,,im still not at my goal of 14 days so im keeping my chin up taking a pill still hasnt crossed my mind,,,,,after going thru the hell ive been thru for 11 freaking days now i will neved ever take another pill,,,ill never go thru this again,,i cant see how anyone that has felt like me would relaps and take the chance of going thru this **** again,,this is the exact reason why i didnt medicate to take away the withdrawls,,,ive been here for every minute off it this time and im not going back,,,day 11 coming to an end it wasnt what i hoped my 12 will be better ?

[scottscott1973]

Sorry,,forgot what i wrot this morning,,i did a double

[Jordan10013]

I sent you a PM about your one post, from yesterday. Take a look for it in your mailbox.

[Jordan10013]

You might want to keep a diary. Log your feelings, ups, downs, achievements, accomplishments, deviations from expectations, hard and soft goals, and a timeline. I find when I put things in writing it is far easier for me to keep track of events. And I stay motivated.

As to your questions, again, don't freak out. Don't set expectations, don't set goals according to what others experience.

No one can predict how things will go for you, mainly because we are all different, mentally and physically.

For example, there's people who by day 11 could not do 1/10th of what you did today. They cannot even get out of bed, much less do what you described:

- Went walking, at least a mile, fast.

- I got done walking and jumped on my motorcycle.

- Went to the gym and tanned.

- I got back home jumped in the car and went for Chinese.

- I fell asleep around 11-1130 and slept till 3:45.

- After laying in bed listening to music I go to the gym.

- I killed it at the gym. I worked out my upper body for 2 hours. I just kept going and going it was crazy.

- Had a great morning till about 11:45, then I crashed, hard, my body started hurting I got tense the burning in my legs. Started again ????


____________________

IMO you are pushing yourself too hard. You appear to be getting concerned that you can't slay dragons, so to speak, by day 12 to 14.

So what you are doing on day 11 that's remarkable, IMO.

IMO (since you asked) you need to SLOW DOWN, abandon your (posted) expectations (e.g. by day 14 this should all be over), and reduce your activities to 1/10th of what you are doing. (I have never seen anyone post that "by day 12 you should be able to workout for two hours at the gym, and that would be a hard workout.")

Then again, you know yourself better than anyone on the Net could ever figure out. So what I'm saying is very general. It looks to me like you have this carved-in-granite goals and expectations that by day 14-15 your mind and body will be at 70 to 100 percent. From everything I have read that's being unrealistic and you are setting yourself up for disappointment and maybe even failure.

Note: Most addicts relapse can relapse notwithstanding the memory and suffering of going through WD symptoms before. Such is one of the reasons it is called an addiction.

[Jordan10013]

Pardon errors (like the last two sentences). The phone rang when I was still finishing my thoughts. Rather than look my comment over I hit "Post" while gossiping to the caller.

[littlebit667]

the thing with withdrawals is that your brain is bouncing all over the place and trying to remember how to do it's job.  That is why one day you will feel on top of the world and the next feel like crap.  It will be up and down for awhile.  Enjoy the good days and know the bad ones will be further and further apart.  Keep up the good work.  

[scottscott1973]

1030 day 12. I got 8 hours of sleep wich was very needed,,,by 9 oclock last night i was so tired i crashed at 10 slept i woke up with sore,stiff that i always do wich made me run for a pill,,,,my entire body hurts from working out,,fyi if you feel good enough to have a crazy workout,,,,,,dont,,,,,,lol its a good hurt tho not the burning acid feel ive had for 12 days in my legs,,all in all i feel pretty good,,im in a good mood, im run down,tired but pushing thru.

[SmilingBright]

Day 12!!  That's great Scott!!! Keep it up.  

I'm kinda with ya on working out and keeping busy.  I have to keep my mind busy and LOVE to workout out.  Try not to push so hard that u crash and put yourself in a bind.  

I'm on 54 hours without any meds!!  But who's counting right.  Lol. Push through this.  Let's DO this!!!!  YEAH!!  Lol

Christina

[YesLife4Me]

Slow and steady wins the race.  As addicts we tend to pour ourselves in our activities.  As someone else said on here (can't remember who, sorry!)  "we don't have hobbies, we have obsessions".   I know that when I am focused on something, nothing is going to get in my way.  Even if it is painting my nails.  And the other day it was so nice out I started working on the flower bed and next thing you know I was edging the whole thing and I paid dearly the next day.  

No way to go but forward...so take it moment to moment and soon the days become weeks and months.  :)    

[Setting_Sun]

Just read this whole thread and wow,you should  be really proud of yourself! Give yourself the   credit you deserve. And I agree with the others ,,slow it down a little bit  ok? You don't need to wind up frustrated or overwhelmed. You have come a long way and just keep your expectations realistic. Way to go :) you inspire me..I'm just starting.

[scottscott1973]

Thanks for writing to me it means alot,,,for the 2 that are just starting i hope the best,,,,you can do it,,,i know you can,,,,,im here if you need me i wrote what i wrote here because stages off this journey were unclear to me,,,i found people at many stages but they seem to fade as they went thru this,,,i wanted my event,,,lets call it,  was somthing out of  a movie for me i hope its better for you. I honestly have no urge for a pill infact the thought of them make me sick,,,i think its from being so pissed at myself for doing this to myself,,,,but im a do the crime do the time type of guy. I did the crime,,,well i might add and now im doing the time,,but i can safley say the worst is over,,,,for me day 12 and i feel good mind and body lol im sore *** hell can hardly life my arms up but im loving it,,,to have the pain i have now ill take it over feeling like my body was rotting from the inside out,,,i cant wait for my sore muscles to heal so i can go kill them again lol. This has been life changing for me truly ,,,,,im not religouse but spending that much time in your own head does somthing to you atleast it did me. I turned this into a learning process maybe that how made it thru,,,,my body still feels weak but my mind is stronged then ive ever been ,,,i will destroy anything that gets in my way at this point im not going back,,,i wish everyone could feel how i feel right now this second if you could,,,,you would never need a usless pill again

[SmilingBright]

That's awesome Scott!!  Good for you.  You sound like you ate in BEASt mode.  Go get it!!  That's how I'm
Treating this too!!  It's time to get my life back.  

[scottscott1973]

Im here if you need me ces

[toothfairie]

you sound so much better Scott!  congrats on your clean time...you are fighting your way thru this like a champ!  keep going, it only gets better!  

[YesLife4Me]

I just heard the theme song to Rocky when I read that...LOL!  

[toothfairie]

hahahaha!!  yep!!  

[scottscott1973]

Lol,i gotta tell you,,,,got goose bumps writing it .,,,i need everyone to do this with me,,,,,make a swoooosh sound,,,, i just flushed the last pill i was holding,,,,,i didnt even hesitate,, good ridens,,,,i know alot of you are thru hell and there are so many fixing to go thru it or going thru it,,,,,im here to say this is best thing i have ever done for myself not to mention my little girl,,,,all the pain and mental torment is worth it,,,trust me i know everyone is different and we all have our own reasons but the grass is greener on the other side,,,i know im not there yet but i take what i can get when i get it,if i feel like im free and clear im gonna write abouy it if i crash later ill deal with it then lol

[SmilingBright]

Yay!!!   Awesome job on flushing!!!!!!!!!  

And to think we all thought  scott was girl. Lol. Youre not a girl, you're a beast!!!!  Haha.

Just had to......  Awesome Job.  Proud of u!! Keep moving forward!!!!!

[FourJays]

Every bit of the pain IS worth it!  Congratulations on the flush!!!!!  You are doing amazing . . . . keep it up!

[toothfairie]

congrats on flushing that pill!  felt great didn't it??  now no more temptation!  you are doing fabulous!  keep going strong!  way to go!!  proud of you!

[scottscott1973]

Thanks everyone

[toothfairie]

oh and i DID make the swooshing sound just for you!!  hahaha

[scottscott1973]

Awesome !!!!!!@lol

[BobMarley714]

     Been there, it *****, but just know you are there,I kicked cold turkey a thousand times and 9 days you start to feel human again, you should wake up tomorrow and that lightning going thru your entire body will just NOT be there.  it always happens like that for me. BTW I have been clean for 13 years, b ut reading your story made me wonder if I had written it myself and forgot about it. I would have wrote the very same thing. the back pain, the crying, the mind racing, lack of sleep,FREEZING Cold, baths that help the whole bit. You can do it, you are definitely on the down slope, it WILL get better very fast, but don't let your body fool you, you may feel a thousand percent better and think you are fine,tghat's the most dangerous time, your mind will think, I am better, maybe I can just do one and stop for another week and just do it once in a while.  YOU CANNOT.  I don't know what got you started, I just was prescribed opiates for a few months for legitamite medical reasons and got hooked. I wasn't running away from anything, my dog didn't die, and I had a job, a girl and a life, didn't steal, never shot up, and I KNEW I was not like THEM, THE JUNKIES.  I was wrong.  You can be clean and free from drugs, but all you have is a clean junkie, not recovery. I am NOT one to shove recovery in your face. I DO NOT go to AA, or NA, and the only steps I do are the 13 on the way up to my apartment.  but you have to fix the underlying problem, IT IS THERE- even if it is only boredom, there is a reason you use. something tells all of us addicts that taking just one more will make us feel better than we do in everyday life.  Just think of it as i do, I am ALLERGIC to mind and mood altering drugs. and the only thing that comes of it is death, sickness, and jail time.  This was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but again 13 yrs. clean, it does get easier.  don't get stuck on that 14 day thing,you will feel about 95% back to normal, but you need to just take it one day, hour,minute,or second at a time. If you can't bear the thought of never using again, just say you'll use TOMORROW, which never comes.  Good luck, you can do it, and you ARE almost there.  And get those pills out of your house, trust me on that one, They WILL be calling your name. Peace, it is out there. just go get it.

[scottscott1973]

Ok,,,i just teard up,ive been thru hell bob,,,now i feel like a puss,,,not your fault thanks for writing it honeslty you put me in my place,,,im the type that needs a kick in the *** every npw and then,,13 years is great,,,honestly i dont know if im a junky only time will tell,,i feel like im fixing my problem now,my day to day life seems easyer, the problems i thought i had are stupid they are the problems they are because i put them off while i was waiting for my pill to kick in,,,we all have and bad reasons,,,ill say it again if you are ready to quit and get your life back you are ready,,,im ready when i look at my little girl i know im ready cause now i see my little girl not somone i try to keep busy while i think i feel good,,,ill never tell her about this because i can neved eved say im sorry in a way that will make up for it,,,,i hear what your saying and i respect it but im not going out lime that,take care bob i really wish you all the best

[dominosarah]

Your actions will speak much louder than words with your little girl~

[paddleback]

Something that really helped me at night was an electric blanket. This helped me sleep and helped with the restless legs. I have one legs that itches and crawls because of the nerve being crushed but it helps that as well.. Keep going you can make it!! In the summer I ran the A/C all night so I could use it.  In the winter I turned off the heater and used only that. I was sleeping pretty normal by day 5 but everyone is different.

[scottscott1973]

Ok here we go,,day 12 coming to an end,,,i feel ? Good,,,flushed my backup earlyer,thanks for the swoooshes. My body and mind feel good,,after taking my daughter to jump on trampolines and then swimming at the gym,, i kindof crashed i got pretty tired around 3 ,,,i bought a muscle milk at the gym and 30 minutes later i felt pretty good this is the second time muscle milk has helped me,,i dont know why it helped just know it did. I think the last thing im gonna get is my sleep back but im ok with it as long as the burning pain is gone,,,i am absolutly not craving pills wich i really thought i would,,im high on wanting to be moving and doing what i have put off so long,,,after the day 12 ive had im looking forward to day 13 lez get it lol ps, dont let happy writings fool you. This has been a hellish experience but i managed to write and make it thru the bad so im gonna write and enjoy the good,,i hope everyone is doing well keep moving forward

[toothfairie]

well congrats on making it thru day 12!!  i knew you could do it!  you do sound much more positive....and i know it's still hard even tho you are upbeat and positive...just hang on with all you've got,...it truly will be worth it....keep up the good work!!  swoooosh!!  hahaha

[scottscott1973]

5 in the morning,.got another 6 hours sleep,,,would have got more but my monster woke me up lol,,,day 13 ,,,,,woo hoo,,,,i think this is the worst part for me now,,,the waking up stif ,,sore,mind computing my day ahead,,,like i said before my morning pill was my fav,,,oh well enough of that **** day 13 ,,,,,im ready, feel good,,body still hurts like hell from working out but withdrawl (withdrawal) pain is gone,,,,,looking forward to my goal day 14 ive been on hold till that point,,,,ill start counting weeks from there,,,,,hope your morning is great keep workin,,,we made another day!!!!!

[scottscott1973]

Lol heres a fun fact for ya,,,, just it just came to me,,,,i had about 300 bucks in my pocket when i started this my kido has been on spring break all week,,ive musterd up the energy to go do fun stuff with her,,plus eating when i could for the past 13 days and i still got 100 bucks in my pocket. Lol. I cant believe how much money i blew on this **** ,,,if i had it all back obama would look like such an *******!!!!!

[toothfairie]

oh i hear ya on the money part!  i didn't have an outside dealer...just got all my pills from the pharmacy but i STILL spent tons of money over the years....i don't even want to know how much....i'd be very depressed...lol  

[scottscott1973]

Lol my guy was a friend of a friend,,,,who now i call a friend????? Come monday im kickin his ***,,,,well

[toothfairie]

LOL kick him to the curb!  i was luck and never had friends that used or sold.....i'd be in financial ruin if i had....i was bad enough with the doctor shopping...lol  which caught up to me.  But it saved my life....

[FourJays]

Welcome to day 13 . . . you are doing awesome!  

[scottscott1973]

Thankfully,,i could afford my habbit so i didnt have to worry about the money,,,i spent tons tho and it helped me get out of control i didnt really have a down side until i started feeling like pills were making me sick,,,i started having crazy help problems wich i blamed on the pills,,,i could handlehow i was feeling they turned on me in a way,,,they started making me depressed instead of taking depresion away

[FourJays]

That is exactly what they do - turn on you!  But you called it and broke free anyway . . . awesome.  Stay strong!

[Sweetness91]

I just read your whole thread and WOW!! You are doing awesome! Doing as much as you have throughout the withdrawal process is amazing. You must be chock full of determination. :) At day 13-14 I swore I was dying...lol. Though my case was a little different...I had been on methadone for a long time....too long. One of those things were it was a legit need for awhile but then I only took it to avoid withdrawals...so sissy-like I know. Tomorrow will be 11 weeks off the crap. :)

It's good that you've kept a positive mind set through this...I believe it really does help. And the working out...well you must be superman. Lol. And I wanted to ask...is the muscle milk stuff good? What's it like? I'm big on how something tastes...whether its good for me or not, if it doesn't taste good then forget about it! I ain't eating/drinking it. Lol. Just curious anyway.

Congrats on your clean time and goooood job!!! Keep rockin' it!!

[jennlp29]

Thank you for your posts..I have been on methadone for 2yrs trying to get off a 2yr opiate addiction..as of today im on day 7. I have had barely any sleep this week and my emotions are running high from aching n lack of sleep. Part of me wants to give in and go back on methadone just to stop this, but I knw ive made this far and it would be s huge step back...it helped tovread your posts and others. Knwing im not alone helps...I guess my tub n I are gonna be really good friends I take anywhere from 6-15 hot baths a day......as my mom says "this to shall pass"...good luck on your road to recovery...

[scottscott1973]

The muscle milk tast ok it goes down good but then you wouth taste like you sucked on a battery lol but it does make me feel better,infact im fixing to go yo the gym and swim,,think ill try a different flavor maybe ill get one that taste like a duracel,,ive had to of thr energizers the bunny dont taste that great,,,,to jenni day 7 was very rough for me i honestly didnt feel good enough to say i felt good till late day 11-12 i got teased one day i forgot wich one,,but i killed myself at the gym,,,,,,dont do it go take a nice walk,,,if yoi want tp cut baths lay on a heating pad stick that sucker under your but,it heats your blood as it passes and helps with everything,,baths got taxting for me because of the chill when i got out but if they help do it,,,you have already peeked your body and mind are waking back up you will start to stretch and feel electricity shoot down your back and into your legs,,,,i loved it,,,,your are to far to quit now,,, 7 days is huge make it another 7 a?d then ask if yoi shoild stol yoi going thru what you expected to go thru now is the time to grab what you want are you strong enough??? Go look in the mirror and ask i say you are

[scottscott1973]

Ok,,so i guess ive posted so long this thing is a reader,,,i think im done bitching and moaning,,,so this will be my last posy in this spot,,,day13 late afternoon,,,i crashed pretty hard aroung 1-2 oclock drank a muscle milk and it did seem to help again so i recomend it,,,I feel good i just think my body needs more sleep,,,im still not getting enough,,,plus ive been running like crazy past week so im not stressing about how tired i am,,,i want to thank everyone that wrote to me you all helped me get thru this,,,i can never repay you for your support,,,i hope everone makes it thru there ordeal remember its all up to you,,,,,want it,,,seiz it,,,,its yours for the taking ,,,,,take care

[toothfairie]

glad you are getting some sleep!!  i still get tired easily as well sometimes....keep posting when you need to!  just start a new thread....glad you are doing good!  you are staying positive and that's huge!!  

[scottscott1973]

Thanks tooff lol maybe ill start a new thread afted i meet my goal of 14 days even if its worse then today?? I got this lol my true test,,,just got in a knock down drag out fight with the ex wife normaly id go grab a couplr pills and chill,,,but im not giving that ***** the honor of making me relaps lol,,,,im good i got this coverd ill be around ,,.thanks everyone

[toothfairie]

yes, don't let anyone or anything lead you to relapse!  life will still be tough at times...we just have to learn a diff way to deal with it....but you will have more good days than bad now off pills....way to go....keep strong!  

[Sweetness91]

OMG I literally laughed out loud...hard. Tastes like a battery? Hey maybe the Duracell would be better right? Copper top ya know. Lol! I might have to try one just so I know what a battery tastes like ;)

Seriously though...you are doing GREAT! Keeping yourself moving and to the gym..(oh and to tan, even though you're a man lol) is probably the best thing you could've done. Maybe I should've done the gym thing I stead of going out dancing last weekend. My legs felt like jello for the next three days and I could barely walk. Lol!

You're almost to the two week mark...then you can start looking forward to three, four and forever more! You sound like a very strong willed man and I'm sure you can do this...no doubt about it!! Keep rockin' friend :)

[scottscott1973]

im posting an update here since this is where i started,,,im 18 days clean feeling better everyday still killin the gym,,my crash time eveyday is getting later and later,,im asleep by 10 and up at 5-6 wich is ok cause it gets me to gym,,ill be back thanks

[FourJays]

18 days . . . wow, they add up don't they?  That is awesome to hear - you are doing great.  Thanks for updating; it's always so good to hear the positive stories.  Keep it up:))

[toothfairie]

congrats on the 18 days!  that's great!   you are doing so well!  :)