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Avatar universal

wtf!!!!!!!

Hello,ive responded to post from others hoping i helped im 8 days clean but having a ruff evening,my restless legs are all but gone my back is still tense but managable i slept 7 hours last night.i woke up alittle tense with my normal aches wich my normal morning was hope and skip to the bathroom open my cool little pouch grab a friend swing by the fridge to grab a dr pepper,jump back in bed and wait my 20-30 minutes for my day to start,4.5 years has been long enough ive gone 8 days welcoming every pain and every feeling that i deserve,im not hiding the pain will keep me from coming back. My goal is 14 days i already passed my first of 7 days wich i set because i read here a bunch of people felt better at 7-8 days wich is very true,but i think i just had a slight anxiety attack wich got my heart pumping and i could feel it in my head i came back here to get an answer but since i started writing this it has gone away so i answerd my own question,ive got alot of help here and i hope ive helped in return,in my normal life im a cocky jerk lol but am as human as they come i wish i would have posted daily on my progress as that was what i was looking for when i came here i wanted to know what to expect at daily stages for me setting time goals has been huge i make it to one and aet another,,,,,here is my run down day one,last 10-325 norco at 3 pm withdrawls started within 4 hours as i was taking one every 4-5 hours,i never slept was freezing cold, aching,sweating.i had 4 zanex bars that i got to help me get thru this i took one peace of a 4 bar to try and sleep fyi i hate zanex but i beeded to relax,,after about 2-3 hours i woke up and was up all night wich means i fell asleep at 9 woke up at 12 and was up all night,had to get up at 6 to go to work felt like death coild barley walk yawning every couple minutes and freezing,,fyi keeping a heating pad under your back really helps with the cold a?d aches i would lay on it to get warm and then move it under my but and it helped with my legs aching ,,,for ke my legs and tense upper back has been the worst pain i feel like there is acid flowing under my skin ,,,wich is what makes me want a pill to know that in 20 minutes i could feel fine is what makes me want to take one,this is my second time around the first time i went to my doctor and he gave me gabapintin for the pain and cembalta for my mind ,,i felt great took them when i left his office and never looked back until one day i figured if it was that easy to quit i could have a few and be fine?? Well here im am that is why im not taking anything to help myself i want to feel everything it will keep me clean as i will never ever go thru this **** again,,anyway back to my timeline day 2-3 were the worst freezing hurting all over my mind racing,but i finally had a awesome strech it felt so good i kept trying for another but you cant make yourself stretch unfortunatly,now ive been at work all week thru this and the only thing that got me thru was monster energy drink called rehab ive never drank energy drinks so when i was shopping them i thought rehab was ironic so i went with it ,day 4 was alittle better emotions got me and i was mad,crying, depressed but never thought of taking a pill ,ive made it to day 8 with 8 in my bathroom i figure if i cant quit with them in my house i cant quit ,,its not like there hard to get,,knowing they were there helped in a weird way ,,day 5 was pretty good i wanted to move around a bit,cleaned my apartment even washed my dog,but i was still on 2-3 hours of sleep per night wich i didnt fight i just put in my headphones and listend to music that moved me emotionaly and reved me up ,plus soaking in hot bath really helps by the way,i didnt and dont want to take anything that will dull pain or slow my body and mind from waking up i figure thats my goal so i dont want to drag it out ive taken advil and melitonin for the tense and pain,,,,nothingwith acetamiphin in it as thats a big part of my addiction,,,and im not feeding this thing anything,,,day 6 started pretty good i took my daughter to breakfast and we weny swimming at the gym for 2 hours plus i sat in the hot tub for a while oddly by the time we left i was so tense in my upper back and head i had to take a couple advil along with melitonin and managed a 1 nap maybe i was just really tired from still no sleep ,,it kindof felt like i stepped back to days 3-4 wich hurt mementaly but my end goal is 14 days so i didnt stress to much about it,,,my doctor says after 14 days your mind is not addicted anymore so thats where i set my goal ,,,day 7 was really good i had energy my mind felt good my legs took a big turn for the better and i slept a solid 7 hours wich was huge ,,,,today day 8 i got woke up by my alarm for the first time ,i laid in bed for a bit,got up clear headed went to work ,was in a good mood but around 330 i crashed hard was really tired and just wanted to lay down wich sucked cause i planed on going to the gym all day. Wich is maybe why i worked myself up i thought i was on the down hill side and got reminded where i really was,wich is ok im still not at my goal so im not expecting anything less but it would have been nice to cut this short,,,in the end its 9 pm day 8 heading to day 9 with an open mind. To all that are going thru this we can all make it you just have to want it,just know what you feel is your mind playing tricks on you try not to take it serously i know its hard as hell but thats what it boils down too,we are playing the ultimate game of patience and we are the ones that started it ,,you got to pay to play sadly its time to pay. Take care ill be around,,ill let yall know about day 9
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4341997 tn?1514588688
congrats on the 18 days!  that's great!   you are doing so well!  :)
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Avatar universal
18 days . . . wow, they add up don't they?  That is awesome to hear - you are doing great.  Thanks for updating; it's always so good to hear the positive stories.  Keep it up:))
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Avatar universal
im posting an update here since this is where i started,,,im 18 days clean feeling better everyday still killin the gym,,my crash time eveyday is getting later and later,,im asleep by 10 and up at 5-6 wich is ok cause it gets me to gym,,ill be back thanks
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Avatar universal
OMG I literally laughed out loud...hard. Tastes like a battery? Hey maybe the Duracell would be better right? Copper top ya know. Lol! I might have to try one just so I know what a battery tastes like ;)

Seriously though...you are doing GREAT! Keeping yourself moving and to the gym..(oh and to tan, even though you're a man lol) is probably the best thing you could've done. Maybe I should've done the gym thing I stead of going out dancing last weekend. My legs felt like jello for the next three days and I could barely walk. Lol!

You're almost to the two week mark...then you can start looking forward to three, four and forever more! You sound like a very strong willed man and I'm sure you can do this...no doubt about it!! Keep rockin' friend :)
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4341997 tn?1514588688
yes, don't let anyone or anything lead you to relapse!  life will still be tough at times...we just have to learn a diff way to deal with it....but you will have more good days than bad now off pills....way to go....keep strong!  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks tooff lol maybe ill start a new thread afted i meet my goal of 14 days even if its worse then today?? I got this lol my true test,,,just got in a knock down drag out fight with the ex wife normaly id go grab a couplr pills and chill,,,but im not giving that ***** the honor of making me relaps lol,,,,im good i got this coverd ill be around ,,.thanks everyone
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4341997 tn?1514588688
glad you are getting some sleep!!  i still get tired easily as well sometimes....keep posting when you need to!  just start a new thread....glad you are doing good!  you are staying positive and that's huge!!  
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Avatar universal
Ok,,so i guess ive posted so long this thing is a reader,,,i think im done bitching and moaning,,,so this will be my last posy in this spot,,,day13 late afternoon,,,i crashed pretty hard aroung 1-2 oclock drank a muscle milk and it did seem to help again so i recomend it,,,I feel good i just think my body needs more sleep,,,im still not getting enough,,,plus ive been running like crazy past week so im not stressing about how tired i am,,,i want to thank everyone that wrote to me you all helped me get thru this,,,i can never repay you for your support,,,i hope everone makes it thru there ordeal remember its all up to you,,,,,want it,,,seiz it,,,,its yours for the taking ,,,,,take care
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
The muscle milk tast ok it goes down good but then you wouth taste like you sucked on a battery lol but it does make me feel better,infact im fixing to go yo the gym and swim,,think ill try a different flavor maybe ill get one that taste like a duracel,,ive had to of thr energizers the bunny dont taste that great,,,,to jenni day 7 was very rough for me i honestly didnt feel good enough to say i felt good till late day 11-12 i got teased one day i forgot wich one,,but i killed myself at the gym,,,,,,dont do it go take a nice walk,,,if yoi want tp cut baths lay on a heating pad stick that sucker under your but,it heats your blood as it passes and helps with everything,,baths got taxting for me because of the chill when i got out but if they help do it,,,you have already peeked your body and mind are waking back up you will start to stretch and feel electricity shoot down your back and into your legs,,,,i loved it,,,,your are to far to quit now,,, 7 days is huge make it another 7 a?d then ask if yoi shoild stol yoi going thru what you expected to go thru now is the time to grab what you want are you strong enough??? Go look in the mirror and ask i say you are
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Avatar universal
Thank you for your posts..I have been on methadone for 2yrs trying to get off a 2yr opiate addiction..as of today im on day 7. I have had barely any sleep this week and my emotions are running high from aching n lack of sleep. Part of me wants to give in and go back on methadone just to stop this, but I knw ive made this far and it would be s huge step back...it helped tovread your posts and others. Knwing im not alone helps...I guess my tub n I are gonna be really good friends I take anywhere from 6-15 hot baths a day......as my mom says "this to shall pass"...good luck on your road to recovery...
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Avatar universal
I just read your whole thread and WOW!! You are doing awesome! Doing as much as you have throughout the withdrawal process is amazing. You must be chock full of determination. :) At day 13-14 I swore I was dying...lol. Though my case was a little different...I had been on methadone for a long time....too long. One of those things were it was a legit need for awhile but then I only took it to avoid withdrawals...so sissy-like I know. Tomorrow will be 11 weeks off the crap. :)

It's good that you've kept a positive mind set through this...I believe it really does help. And the working out...well you must be superman. Lol. And I wanted to ask...is the muscle milk stuff good? What's it like? I'm big on how something tastes...whether its good for me or not, if it doesn't taste good then forget about it! I ain't eating/drinking it. Lol. Just curious anyway.

Congrats on your clean time and goooood job!!! Keep rockin' it!!
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Avatar universal
That is exactly what they do - turn on you!  But you called it and broke free anyway . . . awesome.  Stay strong!
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Avatar universal
Thankfully,,i could afford my habbit so i didnt have to worry about the money,,,i spent tons tho and it helped me get out of control i didnt really have a down side until i started feeling like pills were making me sick,,,i started having crazy help problems wich i blamed on the pills,,,i could handlehow i was feeling they turned on me in a way,,,they started making me depressed instead of taking depresion away
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Welcome to day 13 . . . you are doing awesome!  
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4341997 tn?1514588688
LOL kick him to the curb!  i was luck and never had friends that used or sold.....i'd be in financial ruin if i had....i was bad enough with the doctor shopping...lol  which caught up to me.  But it saved my life....
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Avatar universal
Lol my guy was a friend of a friend,,,,who now i call a friend????? Come monday im kickin his ***,,,,well
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4341997 tn?1514588688
oh i hear ya on the money part!  i didn't have an outside dealer...just got all my pills from the pharmacy but i STILL spent tons of money over the years....i don't even want to know how much....i'd be very depressed...lol  
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Avatar universal
Lol heres a fun fact for ya,,,, just it just came to me,,,,i had about 300 bucks in my pocket when i started this my kido has been on spring break all week,,ive musterd up the energy to go do fun stuff with her,,plus eating when i could for the past 13 days and i still got 100 bucks in my pocket. Lol. I cant believe how much money i blew on this **** ,,,if i had it all back obama would look like such an *******!!!!!
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Avatar universal
5 in the morning,.got another 6 hours sleep,,,would have got more but my monster woke me up lol,,,day 13 ,,,,,woo hoo,,,,i think this is the worst part for me now,,,the waking up stif ,,sore,mind computing my day ahead,,,like i said before my morning pill was my fav,,,oh well enough of that **** day 13 ,,,,,im ready, feel good,,body still hurts like hell from working out but withdrawl pain is gone,,,,,looking forward to my goal day 14 ive been on hold till that point,,,,ill start counting weeks from there,,,,,hope your morning is great keep workin,,,we made another day!!!!!
Helpful - 0
4341997 tn?1514588688
well congrats on making it thru day 12!!  i knew you could do it!  you do sound much more positive....and i know it's still hard even tho you are upbeat and positive...just hang on with all you've got,...it truly will be worth it....keep up the good work!!  swoooosh!!  hahaha
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Avatar universal
Ok here we go,,day 12 coming to an end,,,i feel ? Good,,,flushed my backup earlyer,thanks for the swoooshes. My body and mind feel good,,after taking my daughter to jump on trampolines and then swimming at the gym,, i kindof crashed i got pretty tired around 3 ,,,i bought a muscle milk at the gym and 30 minutes later i felt pretty good this is the second time muscle milk has helped me,,i dont know why it helped just know it did. I think the last thing im gonna get is my sleep back but im ok with it as long as the burning pain is gone,,,i am absolutly not craving pills wich i really thought i would,,im high on wanting to be moving and doing what i have put off so long,,,after the day 12 ive had im looking forward to day 13 lez get it lol ps, dont let happy writings fool you. This has been a hellish experience but i managed to write and make it thru the bad so im gonna write and enjoy the good,,i hope everyone is doing well keep moving forward
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Avatar universal
Something that really helped me at night was an electric blanket. This helped me sleep and helped with the restless legs. I have one legs that itches and crawls because of the nerve being crushed but it helps that as well.. Keep going you can make it!! In the summer I ran the A/C all night so I could use it.  In the winter I turned off the heater and used only that. I was sleeping pretty normal by day 5 but everyone is different.
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495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Your actions will speak much louder than words with your little girl~
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Avatar universal
Ok,,,i just teard up,ive been thru hell bob,,,now i feel like a puss,,,not your fault thanks for writing it honeslty you put me in my place,,,im the type that needs a kick in the *** every npw and then,,13 years is great,,,honestly i dont know if im a junky only time will tell,,i feel like im fixing my problem now,my day to day life seems easyer, the problems i thought i had are stupid they are the problems they are because i put them off while i was waiting for my pill to kick in,,,we all have and bad reasons,,,ill say it again if you are ready to quit and get your life back you are ready,,,im ready when i look at my little girl i know im ready cause now i see my little girl not somone i try to keep busy while i think i feel good,,,ill never tell her about this because i can neved eved say im sorry in a way that will make up for it,,,,i hear what your saying and i respect it but im not going out lime that,take care bob i really wish you all the best
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