xanax addiction

[Doris102]

I have been on xanax for many years,never thought for a minute i would get addicted.
my panic and anxiety attacts are awful, i cant function without xanax.
the doctors kept me on this drug all this time, i know i have to get help.
i am starting to count my pills now,this is so awful.
last week i was running low,asked my doctor for more,he rufused,the pharmacist
filled it.
the doctor was so incinsitive,told me to cut back.how can i cut back,when my body craves it.
i am now taking 1 mg ,the directions say to take 1 every 6 hours...what a laugh...
i take 1 about every 3 hours. when i get company or have to go to the store.(ETC)
i have to take another one,sometime i take 1\2, but it last only about an hour.
I recently lost my husband of 33 years,I am so heartsick and lonley.its just me and my 2 dogs.
i have 3 grown sons,they dont know how to cope with me.i am also a grandmother of 4.
how did i get myself in this mess???? when i talk on the phone,i get so nervous talking,i have to tell them i have to go.
getting to nervous to talk.I dont know how much longer i have in this world of ours.
but i would like it to be somewhat normal. idont know how to kick this awful addition.
I need HELP NOW !!! I should have done something about this years ago,
I didnt, so now im in limbo and want off this up and down roller coaster im on.
PLEASE !! CAN ANYONE HELP ME ?????

[sadinmichigan]

I am so sorry that you lost your husband..And also that you are in this position with xanax..It's a tiny, but powerful pill..The problem with xanax is it is a short acting drug..That is why you need to take more per day.. You have been on this medication a very long time so I would insist to your Dr. that you need help..You can die from withdrawals or have a stroke,seizures etc..If your Dr. is not taking this serious than you need to find another Dr..I know we talked awhile back and I had suggested slowly tapering but I that was befor I knew how long you had been on this..I really think you are going to need a dr's assistance here to avoid serious medical risks from w/d..You must really try to not take any more than you are because I don;t think it is really helping you anymore..Your tolerance is too great. Have you asked about switching to another type of Benzo? Like klonopin ? Please seek a good Dr. that can help you..I wish I could be of more help. I take xanax also and know how the w/ds go to that..Hopefully someone with more knowledge about some other longer acting benzo's can help..

[louise65]

i dont know that i can help but i can empathise with you, i also suffer from anxiety and depression and also have a an opiate addiction. its hard to cut back when you feel so terrible, i also cant do it. im in the process of trying to reduce my valium intake and have been given seroquel instead for anxiety but honestly some days like today nothing seems to take it away. i try to use meditation and when i do it regularly it helps. maybe speak to your doc about other meds that can be used more long term for anxiety, i hope ive been of some help, but mostly i just wanted you to know you are not alone, louise

[10356]

I I have no advice for you I just wanted to let you know you are not alone in this and that I'm very sorry to hear of the loss of your Dear Husband.. Lesa

[malenurse57]

My heart goes out to you for your loss. Concerning your addiction you have some potions contact your regular Dr. and be very straight forward with him or her. Contact a local substance abuse counselor and let them help you to get the help you need  or look into seeing another Dr. but no matter what option you choose honesty is a must. God Bless

[juliewave]

I feel for you.  I had to come of benzos.    You are going to need a doctor that specializes in addiction. Most doctors have no idea of the hell you are going through. Maybe they can put you on a longer acting benzo like valum.  Don't wait around too long.  You don't want to run out of your zanax and end up in the hospital. Go to a 12 step meeting and ask if anyone knows of a good doctor with some knowledge who can work with you.  There is no magic bullet but the slower the tapering the better. I send you my prayers.

[Doris102]

hi hun, just now getting back with you,are you trying to get off xanax?
it is so hard for me to wean myself off of it. i try to take 1/2 pill, doesnt last that long,and then my body,starts to go through all sorts of things.i cant walk straight,confused,
trembling,dizzy,you name it. my body needs it. i dont know if i can do this.
it seems like everydayi have to meet some sort of obligation.if i could just stay at home fora few weeks and try it,maybe it would help. yesterday i had to sell my truck,took 1 xanax before i left the house,tomorow i have to go to the bank and come monday,i have to see the dentist.to many obligations now. and i am getting low on the zanaz.ohhhhhhhhh i start to panic when that happens.
thank you for getting back with me..i need all the help i can get.
tomorrow i will try to get back with all of you out there who are giving me support.

[duckandcover]

The symptoms you are describing are what i read about when my Dr gave me a small script to cope from anxiety from withdrawals.  It scared me to the point that I only take them when it's reeelay bad.

I realize it's hard for you to think clearly but unless one of you kids can come in and help you you really need to see a new doctor who understands your situation or possibly print out some information about xanex withdrawals and make your current doctor read it.  It's amazing how ignorant doctors can be about these drugs the prescribe so casually.  

It really is a dangerous drug to quit cold turkey.  You should find real help with this one.  You may want to see an anxiety specialist.  You are probably at the point where they would do you a world of good.  Hang in there and get it done.  It's really worth it.  you are really worth it.

All my best wishes are yours.

[Doris102]

Hi Louise,
thank you for your support,my doctor subscribed just a few days ago
(celexa)for anxiety. i have only take 2 of them, they made me very sleepy,alittle dizzy.
i hope that they help some. but they dont take the place of xanax.
I HATE THIS XANAX.!!! but i cant do without them yet.my body graves them.
i never thought in my wildest dreams i would ever get addicted to any drug.
i used to think  how in the world can people take drugs.!!!! well guess what
i am now one of those people..it makes me sick. when my doctor started me on them,
my world was upside down for a very long time. now my world is upside down
because of xanax.i hope and pray that i can get off of them,trying to cut down
1/4 at a time.
thank you so much. and good luck to you.i will try the meditation.thank you Louise, as your not alone either hun.

[sadinmichigan]

please go very very slow weaning off them..You have had them for 25 yrs? (if I remember correctly) Honey that is a long time..I still suggest you need a dr. that understands this. It is not impossible but you may even need to go down 1/8 at a time..I don't know if you remember what I told you before, but I really think you should at least try and stick to the dose you have first and then gradually taper off 1/8 of a time if you have too, stay there for several weeks before trying to take more away..Xanax is another one of those horrible w/ds..so please be careful. And your right,, the celexa is not going to replace the xanax..whatever you do...please do not go up on them..It's so easy to take another one when we are stressed out..I am presently taking 1 mg/day..I did however successfully wean off of @6 mg/dy..I went really slow..I was on them for about 3 years when i did that..you can do this..it's just going to take some time..

[toomanytimes]

I can't imagine what you are going through with the loss of your husband and now being worried about this. I'm so sorry. I know that you have to taper off xanax VERY slowly, but you will be able to do it. To me, the single most important thing is that you find a dr that you can talk to and is willing to help you, if you are having so much anxiety i agree with others that say you may need a longer acting med, and i'm sorry but shame on your current dr for not helping you with this sooner.  Please keep posting and use the support of this forum for help. And plz feel free to pm if you need someone one on one to talk to.

[ready2help]

I am sorry to hear of your loss - and I can hear the suffering you are going through with the Xanax. I think you have some serious issues that may warrant professional help. The issues that concern me are:

1. It is very dangerous to detox from Xanax without medical supervision (inpatient would be ideal). I strongly suggest you do not attempt this by yourself. Depending on several factors/variables, it could be miserable at best and fatal at worst. And it takes many days to get through it.

2. Your anxiety and panic attacks sound so consuming that I don't see you as an ideal candidate for home detox - it would be optimal to have this part of it addressed with the detox ("which came first, the chicken or the egg")

3. You would benefit from finding a qualified doctor to help you (do you live in a large city?) - go to a psychiatrist - get a referral from someone you trust - see if you can find one that is an addiction specialist (asam.org) - if all else fails or you just can't get it together = go to any emergency room (this is the last choice because you may sit there forever - and the care may be abrupt - after all, they are busy with all kinds of crises) - but if you get desperate, you always have that option.

Those are my best ideas.

Doris, if you have a knowledgeable, level-headed friend that could help you navigate this, that would be terrific. Perhaps one of your kids? This is the time to reach out and ask for help. Good luck to you - I pray you find the help you need. Know that there are plenty of folks here to talk to until then.

[carliejo]

i just wanted to wrtie and let u know that i was HOOKED on xanaxs,once in my life time ;I REALLY HOOKED,THEY WERE MY LIFE AND SOUL !!!,EVEN HAD MED.PROBLEMS WITH THEM!!!!! DIDINT I COULD DO IT I GOT OFF OF THEM,AMD IT WAS HELLL !!!!!!!!! I DONT WISH THAT ON NOBODY!!!! ALL I CAN SAY IS THANK U 4 EVERYTHING AND HOLD ME !!!!! TO ME COMING OFF XANAXS.WAS HELL!!!! BY RIGHTS I SHOULD HAVE BEEN  THEG TO DIE THAT NIGHT,BUT IT WAS ME TO GO WITH A XANAX HABIT THAT I WAS TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM.ITS WAS ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS I HAVE EVER TRIED TO DO I CALL WHAT I WENT THROUGH IS X -HELL !BUT I DID AND I CAN SAY XANAX FREE!!!!GOOD LUCK IF U EVER NEED SOMEONE I AM HERE

[carliejo]

I FORGOT TO TELL WHEN MY HUSBAND O.D IT WAS XANAXS ANS SOMA,LORCET THAT KILLED HIM AND BY RIGHTS I STILL WONDER TO THIS DAY WHY    AM   I ?????A LIVE CAUSE I DONE ALOT MORE DRUGS THAT HIM WHEN HE DIED!!!!!!!

[Doris102]

Hi Lesa,
i want to thank youfor your response.It means alot to me.
i am trying,but i dont know how much of this i can take.what drugs
are you on or getting over.i hope its getting over  !!!
i never realized what drugs can do to a person.it s awful.
take care hun
Doris

[Doris102]

Hello,
what a wonderful site  that i found,i cant believe the support group
here.it make everthing worthwhile.
you have some very good advice.i knew all along that i should havetried
harder along time ago that i should try to get off of xanax.didnt really
know that it would be so hard,
I thank you for your response,I pray everyday for guidence from God to help
methrough this.
thanking you so much.
Doris

[troubleinohio]

Ive been on xanax for years too. Im on .5 mg and was Rx'd to take up to 3 a day. I usully only take 2 or less a day- i break them in half and take them 4x a day (at .25 a dose). The last month I almost ran out early, i only had one left when refill day came and Ive never had that happen in years. I had used a lot when i was really sick with bronchitiis and asthma-- i was having massive panic attacks due to not being able to breathe, and was popping them ALOT to get through that, so that is why i almost ran out early. normally i have extras each month when refill time comes. But my time is comign soon where my Dr will cut me off. He already dropped my quantity from 90 to 60 the last time. So Im trying very hard to take less each day. So far Im doing well, not having worse panic attacks or anything. Alot of times I would take one as preventive when i wasnt even panicking, KWIM? Id get scared that if i didnt take a dose before i ate, that Id get a panic attack and then the xanax wouldnt work fast enough if i had a bunch of food in my stomach in the way. So ive stopped doing this, not using it as a preventive.  YOu have to start somewhere too. GO to the store without taking an X first. Keep it in your purse at first, in case you do have a panic attack in the store or something, but dont take it before you go. you have to retrain yourself. Also you might want to read some books on panic attacks and taking control of your life again.  I know its hard, but you need to do something. you can PM me anytime if you want to talk more.  Keep us posted on how you do. THis place is awesome.  

[Doris102]

Hi there,
so nice of everyone ,what a great site this is.
I really like your advice.yes i always take a pill before i go anywhere.
i dont like the feeling when they wear off.i never leave home without them.
i have taken more everyday since i lost my wonderful husband.
it has been shear hell.  im alone with my 2 dogs. i cant sleep
or eat,to many sorrowsi have been up since 1:30 this am.
this is why i  am taking more xanax.
my doc put me on a new anti depressent,they make me feel strange.
but i guess i had better do something,the depression is killing me.
i have to look into a drug program.otherwise i am not going to make it.
thank you so much for your concern.
hugs to you.

[Doris102]

Hello there,
than kyou so much for your response,this is a great site.glad i found it.
you are so right ,about doctors be ignorant,i wish that he had never given me more
when i ask him for them.he should have kept me on a low dose.
since i lost my husband ,i have taken more and i am up all hours of the night,cant sleep.
the sorrow is killing me.mysons are all grown adults,have there own lifes plus working,so they cant help me. i wish i had someone to live with me,i wouldnt be so lonley.
my 2 dogs are my comfort.
i am going to try my best with xanax thing,alittle at a time.
thank you soooooooo much for your help.
sending you lots of hugs

[malenurse57]

Just remember you can do this. I have 2 scriptures that have helped me.
1. If God be for who can be against me.
2. I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me.

Good Luck and God bless.
"T"

[Doris102]

hi there,
thank you so much and for the invitation to the pm.that means alot to me.
yes it has been hell since i lost my husband.i still cantaccept thought
that he he is gone. im up all hours of the night,cant sleep,or eat.my 2 dogs
are my comfort,thank goodness for them.
my doctor should have never kept me onthis drug for so long.
i cant leave the house without them.i am taking more since i lost my husband.
that is why i am running out to soon. i have to find a drug place to get some help.
this is a great site to come to.am glad i found it.
thanks again for your support.
sending you hugs

[Doris102]

hello ,
thank youso much for the advice,this is a great site to come to forhelp.
those that are going through as me,either they have conqured itor trying.
you cant believe that my so called friends have left me since i lost
my husband.i guess they dont know what to say. it a shame people do that.
i get lonley,my sons cant be with me,as they have there own lifes to lead.
i have taken more xanax since loosing my husband, i never thought in a million
years that i would get hooked on a drug.
i knoweveryone in here is supportive,i thank them for that.
i do need help, because i cant do this alone.i have to find professional
help.I thank you so much for your response.
hugs to you

[Needhelp59]

Hi Doris,

Please talk to your doctor.  I too was on xanax for years.  It got so bad that I almost lost my marriage.  My husband spoke with my doctor and when I went in for a visit he talked to me and set up a taper plan.  It took months, but it worked.  I have been off them now for almost 2 years.  I took lexapro for a short time afterwards, but now I am on nothing.  PLEASE do not give up.  It is doable and with guidance you can come off with minimal withdrawal.  The dosage I was on was lowered like 1/8 mg. every few weeks.  Feel free to PM me if I can be of help.  God bless.

[Doris102]

Hello,
i am so glad to find this site.so many wonderful people here.
I am also so sorry about your husband.i know that i am not the same
since i lost my wonderful husband. i cant seem to accept it yet.i hear that it
takes time....for me its going to take alot of that.
I can feel your pain, my heart goes out to you.we have to just hang in there
together,and do the best we can.
please take care hun

[Doris102]

hi there,
yes,this place is awesome,thank you so much .i am so glad your off the pills.
you had a good doctor.i am taking alot more than you did, sorry to say,you were taking 1/2 of what i take. i only wish that i was taking that little.
i need another way out of this mess,get a new doctor,or counseling or something.
i have to look into that.
thank you for welcoming me here. that means alot to me. i have been under so much stress.
take care and many hugs

[Doris102]

hi there, i am so glad to hear from you,this is a great site,glad i found it.
i am so sorry about your marriage,that hurts big time.
i am so glad your off of this drug xanax,is hell to know your addicted to a drug.never thought i would be one of them.
thank you for your kind words,i need that.  im going to see what i can do to
get off this drug.
many thanks
God Bless

[Needhelp59]

You can do this.  My marriage is fine; however I have to admit that if my husband had not made the effort and gone to the doctor to discuss my abuse, I would most likely still be using them.  It was tough, but you can do it.  If I can make it, anyone can.  Stay on here for support - the people are great!!

[toomanytimes]

I love to hear when a person has a great dr like it sounds like you had to help you get off the xanax-too often they are not so helpful getting off as they were getting you started.  Also hats off to you for sticking to that taper plan for so long, thats awesome!  And also great example that it CAN be Done!

[sadinmichigan]

i just have been thinking about you..I really hope you find a competant Dr. who understands the nature of this drug..I know how bad xanax w/d is and I had no idea that they were addicting when I first started taking them..not until I decided to flush them..I was in the e.r by the next day unable to breath thinking I was having a heart attack..I didn't even think to tell them in the e.r that I had flushed them until hours later..as soon as I said that..the dr gave me ativan in my i.v and i was fine pretty much right away..He looked at me and said ..You are addicted to xanax and don't ever do that again. I did wean down very very slowly and felt little discomfort. I know everybodys experiences are different. I agree how horrid they are to w/d from IF you do not go slow..for you as I said before might mean 1/2 of a1/2 of a 1/2..you know what I'm saying..it could literally mean a crumb..I eventually had got to the point where I forgot to even take them and I was just done..(from 7mg.day-for 1 1/2 yrs) but total I guess it has been longer than I thought..6 yrs or so..You can do this but I believe you are going to need help.  I am so glad you are posting...we are all here for you..xo your friend..Lisa

[Moosiegirl]

Hi,

I am so sorry you lost your husband and that you are dependent on Xanax. Ouch! I lost my Dad, and I became dependent on Ativan, and I couldn't get off it by tapering, and I wound up in cold turkey detox. Never even try that! What you really need to do is go to the website, benzo.org.uk and download a copy of the Ashton Manual. It will tell you to switch to Valium, the longest-acting benzo and to taper off it very slowly. I have Graves' disease, and I became accidentally addicted to Ativan, and now I am in the midst of a slow taper. It is really quite horrendous, but at least I can taper off that drug, whereas, with the Ativan, this was impossible for me. Considering switching to Valium, but first find a benzo-wise doctor in your area.

MoosieGirl

[Doris102]

I need help... Is there another way to fight depression without taking more drugs???
I have stopped taking my anti depressants, i dont like the side effects.they are awful.
than kyou for any information.

Doris

[ladyboop]

Doris,
      I sent you a message, Check your inbox, top right of the page...


                Lady

[christos24]

I was once addicted to xanax as weel, unroescribed and takigna roudn 4 mgs at a time. I did that along wtih opiates for a good two years and decided to go to detox and clean up my life. My suggestions sis to get ona  long alsting benzodiazepine, such as clonazepam, which i used, or valium(diazepam), there are a few otehrs but these are the amin two used in this sort of thing. In getting off xanax it is better to use a long lasting benzo and at least feel comfortable and be anxiety-free. Clonazepam is pretty stronga dn ina f ew months with the help of a doctor you should eba ble to ween of benzos completely I was defintely able to and with very ltitle discomfort. Everyone sis different so you amy react differently but this is my experience with xanax addiction. I am also on a suboxone maintenance treatment plan for oxycontin and heroin abuse and addiction. Both clonazepam and suboxone have been life savers in regaining my will to live. I had given up hope and now i am happier and healthier than I ever was before.

[Sajonna]

Doris,

I feel for you on the loss of your husband.  Really I do.

In the early 80's I was assaulted and beat up badly.  I started to have panic attacks.  I did not see a shrink until 1984 when my dad died suddenly. The panic attacks really set in then.  I was Rx Xanax and it saved my life.  I never abused it.  I only took what was prescribed.  I also saw a shrink regularly to talk about things. I was able to use the Xanax for a short time (.50 mg 1-3x a day as needed for panick attacks).  Somedays I did not leave the house so I didn't need to take them.

In 1988 my mom died suddenly (these were all natural cause deaths too--but neither parent was sick from a disease.)  Panic attacks set in again. This time I could not leave the house at all.  I went to a different shrink and they insisted that I take .50mg 4x a day.  This made me too tired. I asked if I could take them as needed like before. They said they work better if I take them round the clock. I switched shrinks.  Went back to the original doctor.  She laughed at that prescription.  She told me in no way was I ever to take that amount round the clock of this drug.  I respected her. I told her I was very depressed and could not leave my house without anxiety.  She put me on an anti-depressant for about 6 months. But she also told me "It is normal to feel depressed after what happened to me".  She insisted if I were to keep taking the meds I would have to see a psychologist.  So I did for about a year.  After about 6 months the shrink insisted I go in for a hormone test.

Come to find out, it was my hormones all jacked up. One of my ovaries was not working and the other barely functioning.  Plus I had another female problem going on.

So don't be so hard on yourself for taking this medication Xanax.  Perhaps you just have not found the right doctor to treat you.  

Were you getting the Xanax from a regular doctor or a psychaitrist? Please go talk to someone. Losing one's husband is a big loss.  

And please do not just quit those Xanax.  I was told never to do that if I was taking them round the clock.  In my case I was always able to go several days without any.

Hope you get help soon.

xoxox
SJ

[cubfan70]

Doris DO NOT take klonopin to get off xanax!!! I was taking 16 xanax a day in the height of my addiction and when I told my doc I wasn't remembering days at a time, all he did was put me on klonopin which were WORSE!!! not only did I have blackouts, but for some reason I would CRAVE opiates and go to any lengths to get them. I was totally out of control. I SWEAR those pills are a HORROR story all by themselves. I'm so sorry about how you are feeling, but as we all know, we're using these drugs to "feel better" and they only make it worse and they cause so much more heartache and trouble when we get addicted. I will check in daily to see how you are doing. Good luck, I'll be here if you need me. Peace

[Doris102]

i just counted my xanax.!!!! i have enough to last me 4 days.
my refill isnt due yet. i called the pharmacist,he  told me they cant refill  for another 8 days.   WHAT  AM I TO DO ..???
i know my doctor isnt going to let me have more. i talked with him 2 weeks ago.
he told me then,,i have to cut back.that i am over using...I cant help it..!!
my body is crying out for at least 5 per day...i cant sleep,because i lay and tremble
and every nerve is jerking. i cant function at all.
PLEASE TELL ME WHAT AM I GOING TO DO.

ever since i lost my husband,my mind and body has been a wreck.i miss him soooooo
much.    WHAT TO DO. WHAT TO DO.

[sadinmichigan]

First of all I can't help but notice that you constantly say you CAN"T do it!! You have to my friend..I know the loss of your husband is terribly painful but no amount of xanax is going to help that..Since you can't get them filled for 8 days you are going to have to cut them back...I'm not sure how you should split them up But honey..You are going to have no choice..Have you sought some sort of greif counseling?? If your Dr. gives in to your increasing need of xanax..he is doing you no favors and truthfully there will never be enough..I wish so badly I could take away your pain,,you are slef medicating and for that pain there will never be enough meds...You CAN help it!! and you CAN do it!! start by telling yourself that..Please know that i care..but you are the one that has to really pull it together in yourself and start to do this..

[Doris102]

thank you so much for your response.
I always say i cant . it is so hard, i am trembling right now.dont know how im going to make it .
somehow some way.
thank hun

Doris

[malenurse57]

You can do this ! It will be hard but it is possible. Remember I can , I CAN, I CAN

[sadinmichigan]

I am praying and praying for you!! You can do this and I know it is hard..our minds are so powerful and you have to get that mindset..YOU CAN...YOU CAN..and we will all be here for you..You have so much heartache right now ,reach out to all those around you too..One thing I have learned by being on this forum is that people are caring and willing to help..Much love to you Doris..Lisa