xanax and alcoholism

[erik2776]

my wife has a history of alcoholism and anxity in her family.
every member is treated for anxity including the mother.  the father is an alcoholic.
my wife has been treated for anxity attacks with xanax for well over five years.   my wife takes 3mg at night"to sleep".  she also takes at least a liter of wine everyday.   she has blackouts and very abusive days.  in the mornings she acts much better.
i called her doctor to tell him about her alcoholism.  he in turn called her at work to tell her.   now i am the enemy.
i am at the end of my rope.
what can i do to help?
thank you,
erik2776

[Teelee1979]

Just found this forum.  I need guidance for myself to help my husband.  I will try to make this short.  Been married 9 years,2 daughters 8 and 6 yrs old. We had a wonderful beginning. We fell in love and the sun seemed to shine upon us. It all started when  husband was diagnosed with hep c approx 3 yrs ago, went thru treatment for 1 year, which did not help him. Before treatment doc put him on antidepressants and xanax(the treatment usually causes depression and having hep c gave him anxiety)  He is still on both.  And he does enjoy alcohol.  Life has not been good since.  I have been very supporting in every way. And I know I have not been perfect.  However our marriage has suffered alot.  We have no life together.  He takes more and more xanax, he cannot live without and is scared to try to withdrawal from it.  Also scared to talk to doc because he does not want him to take him off and he will have a terrible withdrwal symptoms. He never missed work due to any of the treatments(which were almost unbearable for him), and his job requires him to be on his toes with a clear mind. Sex life no longer exists. His personality is very bizarre. For awhile I thought he was having an affair, due to no sex or not wanting sex, not wanting to plan anything with us or our future.  He does at times get really down and wonder why he is still here.  I need some advice.  Please, Please I need to know how to help him and give him the support he needs.  He is 50 and I am 46.  We have so much to look forward to and I love him dearly.  But I am living with a shell of a man at this time, and I know he is scared.  Thanks for any words of wisdom.  Peace to all.

[Blanca]

My name is Gloria, I have panic attacks off and on. This started happening with allot of stress in my life. My boyfriend has many problems and my friends are with many problems. They don't really have time to listen to my needs, but only care about their own needs. I feel very hurt inside. My boyfriend is always yelling at me, he smokes pot so much, with out his pot he does not act normal. He calls me *****, *****, your no good, if you did not have me noone would put up with you. He said you don't need to drive. I'm on state disability because of my condition. My childhood was no good I was beaten by my mother and unloved. My children have been taken from me by a policeman who had beaten me up and made a false report on me. The day my children were taken no social worker came for no visit. The officer who beat me up got away with abusing me. I was always the kind one to people and my children. My abusive mothers said bad things about me to prevent me from getting my children back from me. My mother has stolen my children, my children are still in long term foster care. My children has bonded with my abusive mother. I lost my children, and I never abused them. Someone called the police and must of told a story, today I don't know what was said about me. I 'am in pain and feel hurt. I have asked God for help, I feel alone and unloved at times. My panic attacks began when I first lost my children, then another thing happen in my life I got close to my friend son, girlfriend son, his name is Fernando. He is such a good boy, he would always share his toys and bring me a book to read, when I felt down he would be kind and say good words to me. His mother was on drugs so the CPS took Fernando away and his baby sister to a foster home. This made me once again get the panic attacks. I now need to be under medication because of the panic attacks when they come my way. This is so hard for me. If someone reads this please email me:
mothers_friend***@****

[Blanca]

My name is Gloria, I have panic attacks off and on. This started happening with allot of stress in my life. My boyfriend has many problems and my friends are with many problems. They don't really have time to listen to my needs, but only care about their own needs. I feel very hurt inside. My boyfriend is always yelling at me, he smokes pot so much, with out his pot he does not act normal. He calls me *****, *****, your no good, if you did not have me noone would put up with you. He said you don't need to drive. I'm on state disability because of my condition. My childhood was no good I was beaten by my mother and unloved. My children have been taken from me by a policeman who had beaten me up and made a false report on me. The day my children were taken no social worker came for no visit. The officer who beat me up got away with abusing me. I was always the kind one to people and my children. My abusive mothers said bad things about me to prevent me from getting my children back from me. My mother has stolen my children, my children are still in long term foster care. My children has bonded with my abusive mother. I lost my children, and I never abused them. Someone called the police and must of told a story, today I don't know what was said about me. I 'am in pain and feel hurt. I have asked God for help, I feel alone and unloved at times. My panic attacks began when I first lost my children, then another thing happen in my life I got close to my friend son, girlfriend son, his name is Fernando. He is such a good boy, he would always share his toys and bring me a book to read, when I felt down he would be kind and say good words to me. His mother was on drugs so the CPS took Fernando away and his baby sister to a foster home. This made me once again get the panic attacks. I now need to be under medication because of the panic attacks when they come my way. This is so hard for me. If someone reads this please email me:
mothers_friend***@****

[Blanca]

My name is Gloria, I have panic attacks off and on. This started happening with allot of stress in my life. My boyfriend has many problems and my friends are with many problems. They don't really have time to listen to my needs, but only care about their own needs. I feel very hurt inside. My boyfriend is always yelling at me, he smokes pot so much, with out his pot he does not act normal. He calls me *****, *****, your no good, if you did not have me noone would put up with you. He said you don't need to drive. I'm on state disability because of my condition. My childhood was no good I was beaten by my mother and unloved. My children have been taken from me by a policeman who had beaten me up and made a false report on me. The day my children were taken no social worker came for no visit. The officer who beat me up got away with abusing me. I was always the kind one to people and my children. My abusive mothers said bad things about me to prevent me from getting my children back from me. My mother has stolen my children, my children are still in long term foster care. My children has bonded with my abusive mother. I lost my children, and I never abused them. Someone called the police and must of told a story, today I don't know what was said about me. I 'am in pain and feel hurt. I have asked God for help, I feel alone and unloved at times. My panic attacks began when I first lost my children, then another thing happen in my life I got close to my friend son, girlfriend son, his name is Fernando. He is such a good boy, he would always share his toys and bring me a book to read, when I felt down he would be kind and say good words to me. His mother was on drugs so the CPS took Fernando away and his baby sister to a foster home. This made me once again get the panic attacks. I now need to be under medication because of the panic attacks when they come my way. This is so hard for me. If someone reads this please email me:
mothers_friend***@****

[Blanca]

My name is Gloria, I have panic attacks off and on. This started happening with allot of stress in my life. My boyfriend has many problems and my friends are with many problems. They don't really have time to listen to my needs, but only care about their own needs. I feel very hurt inside. My boyfriend is always yelling at me, he smokes pot so much, with out his pot he does not act normal. He calls me *****, *****, your no good, if you did not have me noone would put up with you. He said you don't need to drive. I'm on state disability because of my condition. My childhood was no good I was beaten by my mother and unloved. My children have been taken from me by a policeman who had beaten me up and made a false report on me. The day my children were taken no social worker came for no visit. The officer who beat me up got away with abusing me. I was always the kind one to people and my children. My abusive mothers said bad things about me to prevent me from getting my children back from me. My mother has stolen my children, my children are still in long term foster care. My children has bonded with my abusive mother. I lost my children, and I never abused them. Someone called the police and must of told a story, today I don't know what was said about me. I 'am in pain and feel hurt. I have asked God for help, I feel alone and unloved at times. My panic attacks began when I first lost my children, then another thing happen in my life I got close to my friend son, girlfriend son, his name is Fernando. He is such a good boy, he would always share his toys and bring me a book to read, when I felt down he would be kind and say good words to me. His mother was on drugs so the CPS took Fernando away and his baby sister to a foster home. This made me once again get the panic attacks. I now need to be under medication because of the panic attacks when they come my way. This is so hard for me. If someone reads this please email me:
mothers_friend***@****

[Blanca]

My name is Gloria, I have panic attacks off and on. This started happening with allot of stress in my life. My boyfriend has many problems and my friends are with many problems. They don't really have time to listen to my needs, but only care about their own needs. I feel very hurt inside. My boyfriend is always yelling at me, he smokes pot so much, with out his pot he does not act normal. He calls me *****, *****, your no good, if you did not have me noone would put up with you. He said you don't need to drive. I'm on state disability because of my condition. My childhood was no good I was beaten by my mother and unloved. My children have been taken from me by a policeman who had beaten me up and made a false report on me. The day my children were taken no social worker came for no visit. The officer who beat me up got away with abusing me. I was always the kind one to people and my children. My abusive mothers said bad things about me to prevent me from getting my children back from me. My mother has stolen my children, my children are still in long term foster care. My children has bonded with my abusive mother. I lost my children, and I never abused them. Someone called the police and must of told a story, today I don't know what was said about me. I 'am in pain and feel hurt. I have asked God for help, I feel alone and unloved at times. My panic attacks began when I first lost my children, then another thing happen in my life I got close to my friend son, girlfriend son, his name is Fernando. He is such a good boy, he would always share his toys and bring me a book to read, when I felt down he would be kind and say good words to me. His mother was on drugs so the CPS took Fernando away and his baby sister to a foster home. This made me once again get the panic attacks. I now need to be under medication because of the panic attacks when they come my way. This is so hard for me. If someone reads this please email me:
mothers_friend***@****

[mntwister]

Hello...I read the anxiety issue and I can relate to taking a benzo (klonopon, same family as Xanex) for many years. The problem I learned in treatment 90 days ago is that the Xanax is probably not working anymore. It is a vicious cycle. Benzodiazapines are only meant for short term use. They continually need to be increased in dose after long periods of time because our bodies become used to them, and the vicious cycle I am talking about is what happened to me. The klonopon were not actually working anymore, I was only taking them to stop withdrawl, which is anxiety (the same problem the drugs were originally prescribed to treat). I never knew this, although I knew I was addicted. On occasion, I too would mix some alcohol in, this has an effect of making the klonopon (or xanax) work better, but it really is not doing this, it is poisoning the body. I highly suggest treatment (in-patient chemical addiction treatment ) where your wife can be under medical supervision. I was given "pheno-barbitol" to ease the withdrawl of the Benzos, which counter acts the drug and can be tapered off in a short time, and prevents severe axiety/seizures.  I am not a doctor, but feel I can help with my experience with these drugs, and I am off of them completely, and what really surprised me is I have no severe anxiety or panic...WOW....completely different from before I went in for treatment and was on the drug!!!!   There is hope, and I offer any support if you or your wife would like to know my experience further....I was on these drugs as long as she has been. My love to you!  Robert

[Kobe J]

Why do we do this to the ones we love??!!
I am getting that book today to remind me.:(

[wildcat]

Hello,
I had another busy day today so I am pretty tired. [Wizard], Thank you for the kind words. I am glad to hear so many people on this forum with such good hearts. I used to wonder about people after I fired for having a seizure disorder.
But this forum and words of encouragement have brought me back to wanting to help people again. I thank God I came across this forum not only to vent but mainly for the great thoughts and words that come from everyone.I am tired so I can't babble tonight, I gotta run, bye all, have a good day, I'll be praying for you all. I had to cram because it said the space is too full on this thread!!!! wildcat

[cindi]

all of you certainly have opened a huge can of "food for thought". some very thought provoking words....now all we need is Brighty back,,,,,soon  my friends.   she sent me some email asking which thread I used to tell you all about our lunch and guess what,,,it obviously wasn't important enough  I can't find it so it is lost in forum land...well it has been a very busy day...my son is still very sick,,,,i am really upset about this,,and once again my husbands doc changed his pain med..he was on 10 mg of oxycontin,,,doug hated them so he went to Vicoprofin,,,they didnt hlep so it was back to oxys's for awhile...this time 20 mg...once again he hated  them so he went to duragesic   no luck, the doc does't like Vicoprofin for safety reasons but he is so very willing to increase the oxy now up to 40 mg....what the hell...anyway  it is our 8th anniversary..hopefully we can get a sitter if my son is better and go out and cellibrate...we need to do that....ok  guys,, I am babbeling like an old brook...doug had to work and I am off to bed   got the day off...clean my house,,,,,can"t you feel MY excitement i suppose i should unpack  LOL    love to you all   cin

[Milo]

What wonderful, beautiful words indeed. I could tell you were writing from the heart & felt a sense of peace & happiness just reading your words. People like you give me hope that we as humans can, at least sometimes, move beyond the pettiness, arrogance, and division that plague our world. *Bless your heart*, my friend! -- Milo

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

All I can say is that we are simply "older children"!  All of us have so much to learn during our lives here. Always experimenting and learning is what we do in life! What "wonders" we possess in our little minds that can change a whole universe?

Keep on thinking Free!  J.B.

[Wizard]

Wildcat, you just pulled a heartstring in me. The homeless and children are my number 1 cause that I fight for. For me they are the most defenseless and weakest of our society and yet they seem to be some of the most abused. God bless you for your compassion. I salute you and anyone who would go out of their way to help someone else even if you are carrying heavy burdens of your own. This is why I say this forum is full of "angels" and you surely are one of them. Bless you again.
Power & Magick 2 U,
Peace & Light on us all,
Wiz

[Wizard]

Susan, I recieved your e-mail and I'll write you back later at work because I'm late right now as usual. Cin, welcome home even though you stayed with us through out you vaca! I'll catch up with you also.
J.B. bless you my friend and a big fat howdy to you! I haven't talked with you in a bit and am glad to see you.
Atch all later,
Peace & Magick 2 U,
Peace & Light on us all,
Wiz

[Milo]

Just wanted to say AMEN to Cindi, Wiz, & all re the comments about shame & stigma. I think shame is the most damaging thing most people can experience emotionally...and as long as society attaches shame & stigma to addiction, many, many people won't get the help they need. Cindi, it sounds like your mom was indeed a special person, & now you're passing that on to your kids. I think that is wonderful. I wish everyone would do the same! -- Milo

[erik2776]

thank you all for kind and caring thoughts, you don't know how much they mean at a timelike this.
thank you all,
erik

[cindi]

Geeze   I just re read my post....my typing is so bad    I don't have 5 daughters  LOL  I meant my 1 daughter who was 6 at the time...I appreciate hearing form all of you..shame and addiction seem to go hand in hand but I think that is slowly changing..at least from what I have read in some of my nursing magazines  etc...so many professionals. docs, nurses etc are entering into treatment centers and I think that is showing the public FINALLY that this addiction is a disease and it has no boundaries....it affects everyone regardless of race,religion, gender, sexual preference and social standings,..the judge who lives in the affluent upscale community can be affected as easily as the prostitute who sells her soul for the next high...I have been friends with both,,the judge and the prostitute,..one thing about being a nurse....especially in the area where I live....I have met people from all walks of life,,,,and for each and every person that I have met, from the prostitute that I have sat with and held her hand while she sobbed on my shoulder looking for a way out, to the little old man that was 101 years old and told me stories of the good old days.. to the young man I held while he took his last breath of life that AIDS robbed him of,,,and my own mom, as she laid there dying, worrying about me..I have learned something from each and every person,this my friends is why I love people so very much....how can I not...we, each and everyone of us are so very unique, with so many good qualities..my love for people is so very real, my caring is genuine, and to raise my children to judge a person because they are sightless, hearing impaired, mentally challenged or any other impairment..would be so very unfair to not only the impaired person but so unfair to my own Children as I feel I may be robbing them of the honor and the pleasure of sharing, loving and learning from someone they may feel has less to offer because of their impairment...when in fact these individuals are the ones who I think have the greater ability to live life on life's terms, thus teaching us the true meaning of humility, and Gods will...so despite their impairment.wheter it be addiction or anything else..they may very well hold the key to the most joyest of joys this life has to offer...and for each person that i may have crossed paths with in my life time and for those I will cross paths with,,,are all so very special to me in different unique ways...including all of you.....Love to all   cindi   PS<<<<I love animals and kids too  LOL  do spiders count?   ewwwwwww

[Wizard]

Wildcat my friend, I just now this morning got back on line and saw your reply. I'm sorry it took so long and I missed your post from yesterday. I read your earlier post correctly the first time. I in no way was directing my response AT you, I was agreeing WITH you. My statements were written in general to anyone who wanted to read them. They were meant in the context to my feelings about society as a whole. Sometimes when I start to address an issue all KINDS of feeling emerge and I may go off into a whole different path down the "yellow brick road" LOL. I totally knew what you were trying to point out and you did quite eloquently at that. I was just backing you up when the "Wiz" got on a soap box. My friend, I'll always be in your corner any time you want.(just may take a day to find me) The "Wiz" may have "diarrea of the keyboard" sometimes when I see a subject that I feel passionent about.Take care my friend for you are always in my prayers.
Power & Magick 2 U,
Peace & Light on us all,
Wiz

[Thomas]

lovely post, cindi, thankyou for those words.

[cindi]

I'm glad you liked the post... a little long but I get so upset with snide remarks by people about someone's weight problem, or their acne or the fact tthat they are in a wheelchalir..anyway, I won't get started again  LOL...heard form Brighty today....I wish you alk had the pleasure like I did with meeting her....ok  long day tomorrow  off to bed   later tater   love to all   cin

[wildcat]

Cindi,

First, thank you for the kind words earlier and your explanation about the way you bring up your children and your mom's words to you. But that last post was even more meaningful, almost poetic. There was so much compassion and feeling in your words that I could actually feel it through this monitor. Those are beautiful thoughts. If only everyone could feel and think like that, the world would be so much better. Thank you for the good feeling you gave me and encouragement.


Wizard,

Hello, I was not challenging you either, I just was tired that night and read too fast I guess. You have some very good inspirational thoughts and comments for everyone. I enjoy reading your posts. They also are very encouraging. You are in my prayers as well.

God bless all of us, I think we have all known the high and mighties and the homeless people and each has their own set of problems to bear. I try to help as many homeless here as I can.

I am trying to help a guy right now who has constant shaking problem and he has no job or money. I will mow grass on the weekends with him to get him enough money to see a doctor and get some medication to stop his shaking. It's a Neurological problem he developed after falling as a kid and hitting his head. I want him to get an MRI to see what sort of damage there is. He doesn't qualify for free medical care because he is from the Marshall islands and is a U.S. citizen but different status I guess.

I am babbling again, I had better get running along. Love to you all.

P.S. Cindi, don't worry about the typos, we all have them because we think fast and try to type as fast as we are thinking and hit the wrong keys sometimes. LOL

wildcat

[cindi]

I love reading your posts about the stigma,,and you both are so right about people, society etc...for many years I "dabbled" until oneday, something caused me to cross that line from dabbling to full blown addiction....I lived with needles hanging out of me and thought I had nowhere to turn becase I feared losing my nursing licensem ,y friends and family would think I was an addict (which I was sure was not the case LOL) and I would be labeled trash, they would lock me up and be done with me....Then I found out about treatment (not voluntarily of course) several years later I got busted again,  this time I mad headlines on the news etc.. the shame really set in then.   and I share this story often here because just a few simple words from my mom helped me to overcome the shame and disgust I had for myself.....she said,,,"hold your head up when when you walk and look them in the eyes,,never be ashamed of who you are,,,everyone has a story, everyone has skeletons...these words coming from my mom changed me,,her who watched me and struggled with me but didn't quite understand really did to a degree understand just how I felt...I am teaching my children not to place stigmas upon those who are challenged...I had a child from down the street have an epileptic seizure in my front yard,I was not hime at the time and doug was doing something in the basement,,and my 5 daughter who was 6 at the time did what she had to do for him during his seizure,,,while everyone else including adults watched and gawked, Jenna knew...when she sees a person in a wheelchair etc.  the same thing,,no staring no gawking, quite a task for a child...anyway,,,i just wanted to add my "food for thought",,,,,talk to everyone later   love to all cin

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

I just wanted to say Hi!  I think that raising children to love and respect the challenged ones in life is absolutely a requirement.  Kids that are raised with hatred will end up hating themselves in the end.

I just spent 10 days with my five Grandchildren.  Hope your vacation was a blast!  J.B.

[cindi]

oopsss   sorry abiut the typos again   I meant joyous  instead of joyest..lol I'll let you in on a little secret.....I failed typing in highschool   TWICE.....  LOL