I have a history of pain killer abuse, but have been off of them since January of this year (2013). At that time I was visiting a psychiatrist for the pain med abuse and he put me on Vyvanse for ADHD. I may have mild ADHD, but it is manageable and I really don't need meds for it, but thought it would help with the pain med abuse and just listened to the doc. Since starting the Vyvanse I now realize that it is just as addictive and habit forming as the pain meds for me. I took it correctly for maybe a month if that (started on it in Jan of this year). I realized it was becoming a problem so I tried to stop. Right now I am in a cycle of filling my prescription, abusing it for about 3 days (I do sleep), then I trash the rest of the pills and stay clean for a few weeks until time to fill my prescription again, then the cycle repeats. Usually I can stay clean for about 2 weeks and either I will get some phentermine (diet pills) or my Vyvanse script filled and again use/abuse for 2 or 3 days then trash the remaining pills and abstain for about 2 weeks till time to refill. It is very embarrassing. When I am in the 2-3 day use/abuse period I think about ways to stop, treatment, counselor, telling a friend, getting a sponsor, etc. But after I trash the pills and wait a few days I feel good and I can handle it and wont get it filled next time. But it never fails, when it is time to refill, I am bored or just thinking of how easy it is and actually it seems part of a ritual (can I get it this time?). I tell myself oh I will just do it for a few days, just to have some extra energy and really I think boredom has a lot to do with it (I do have a busy life with kids, work, running, etc). What can I do to break this cycle?