Can alcohol cause a person to not sleep or eat

[judee357]

My husband is an alcoholic.  Even though he refuses to admit this.  He has just lately been unable to sleep more than 4 hours each night if that.  He always slept for at least 8 if not more.  He also has basically stopped eating.  He can go a whole day and not eat a thing.  Still has to drink his beer.  
What can I do???

[Jeffrey T Junig, MD PhD]

They didn't work because he didn't NEED them to work.  There are other recovery programs, but the basic principles are similar, and quitting drinking is a very difficult thing to do-- and the AA program is by far the most time-tested, and the basis for the majority of treatment centers in the US.

There is a comment in 'the Big Book' of AA-- it only works when the alcoholic seizes AA like a drowning man seizes a life preserver'.   I like that sentence (I probably was not exactly correct with the words-- but you get the idea).  They also point out that 'we thought we could find an easier, softer way-- but we could not'.  Realize, please, that stopping drinking is not an 'elective' thing to do.  A person cannot just keep the same personality but remove the drinking.  The person must CHANGE-- and that is very, very difficult.  This next comment is the crux of the issue and so I urge you to really think about it:  If a person does the treatment program that he 'wants' to do-- the one he 'chooses'-- then he probably will not have to change, and it therefore will have little effect.  Change comes from adopting a way of living that appears 'wrong', or 'foreign', or 'not for me'.    One thing I firmly believe about AA based on attending meetings over the past 16 years, sometimes very regularly, other times infrequently-- AA works if the person works it.  That is another 'saying' in AA-- but it is really true.  The best thing you can do is let the consequences fall on your husband;  do not protect him from them.  If he ever truly NEEDS to stop, then AA will work.  But there is nothing that you can do except protect yourself, and decide whether it is worth it to wait for something that may, or may not, eventually happen.

I'm sorry, but that is the plain truth of the matter.

[abby10]

Just a word from a recovering alcoholic. Alcohol ruins sleep, it's distrubs the REM sleep. Eating food absorbs to much alcohol and will reduce the effect of the drink. Try and get him to an AA meeting. He won't be judged there and will only get the help he needs. The courts and mental health care professionals recognize AA as the only 'proven' way to help an alcoholic stay sober.

abby

[judee357]

Thanks for your response, unfortunately he has done the AA meetings years ago and in his mind they didn't work.  I truly am at a lose as to how to help him.  We have been married 37 years and this is the worst is has been in a long while.  He hates his job, doesn't believe that his family cares about him, sees no reason why I should "*****" at him all the time.  I have tried sitting back and not doing anything but it just gets worse.  the only thing I am thankful for at this point is that he doesn't drink and drive anymore.  He waits until he gets home and then drinks constantly.  
Again thanks for your help, any other ideas will be greatly appreciated.
Judy

[abby10]

Sorry to take so long to answer, I have been out enjoying the beautiful Spring weather. I have been sick and am finally getting out after a very long time, and it's wonderful.

Dr. Junig summed it up... your husband must want it bad enough. Anything worth having is worth working for. Everyone wants a quick fix, but it doesn't exist.

Your husband is in an alcoholic fog and he is simply existing. He is totally self centered at this time and doesn't notice the pain he is putting you through. He doesn't want to listen to you about his drinking. Only another alcoholic can help him. You might want to consider Alanon for your own support system.

Just because he isn't drinking and driving now, doesn't mean sometime he won't grab the keys after drinking and go out. I'm not going to sugar coat it... I know people that have been in AA and drank again and drove and are serving 10 to15 years for vehicular manslaughter. Even if he just sits at home and deteriorates, there is not one part of the body that alcohol doesn't effect. The alcohol will just slowly kill you. Enough drinking without food and he will eventually start coughing up blood. There's a hundred more stories, but I will spare you.

All I can say is getting sober the best thing an alcoholic can do. Once sober, life comes back and personal growth returns. I had an addiction to prescription tranquilizers and this, I later found out, only exasperated the drinking. So don't let a doctor prescribe any benzodiazepines to him. This would include Xanax and klonopin.

Again, he's got to want it. Going to the AA rooms, even if he is still drinking will help. He will hear the stories of recovery and may realize that he can recover too.

Good luck,
abby

[judee357]

Thanks so much for your message.  I will print it so that he can read it.  Maybe if he hears or reads something like this coming from someone other than me it will mean something.  
Please enjoy your life now and thanks so much.
Judy