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I'm done!!!
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I'm done!!!

I have had 5 back sugary's in 2 years and I have been on pain med's for over 5. And now I'm in to deep and just had a baby and my wife is not happy with my pill prob. I can't go through with draw and I do t know what to do I think the only way is to just stop the pain if u know what I mean. I'm not a ***** and taking the easy way out but I have tryed before and I'm right back in to taking 10-15 Perc's 15mg a day spending over $200 a day I can't stop and I think I just need to end me I'm sorry I just had to tell someone before I go because I could not tell me wife so I hope that no one hates me but with draw is not a option. I'm so sorry I have let my wife and son and new son down and I can't live with that and I'm not and can't be a good dad with this problem . I hope someone reads this and does not get involved with pain med's.
1684282_tn?1350782543
There are was of dealing with your problem. We help people in your situation all the time and the leave us sober, drug free and stay like that. It is wonderful that you realized that you are at a point of your life where there is no turning back and you need to do something to solve this once and for all. Please click on my name and read my blogs which give you all the options fro detox, read especially about the naltrexone therapy that is so very important after the detox is done. It will help you stay craving free for as long as you are on it. Go on my clinic website and read the testimonials of people who have been in your situation and are now completely free of opiates. Do not give up!  There is hope out there for you. You have so much to live for.
4 Comments
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Avatar_f_tn
First off let me say congrats for stepping forward and taking responsibility for your mistake. I would like to tell you that you're not a bad father or husband you just have a sickness and need help. My husband had an injury about 12 yrs ago and got put on pain meds the first few years he really did need to take them for pain but then it got to the point where he needed them just to not get sick. At first I was mad at him and use to think he was selfish and didn't care about us until I did research on it and finally understood it was a diseas that he had and it wasn't by choice. Pain meds are adicting and get people caught up when they least expect it and its sad that not everyone understands that it's a disease that by no fault of the person takes over them. Don't get me wrong there are people who abuse them willingly. Anyways my husband didn't want to quit them for the fear of withdrawal also and it did upset me at first till I informed myself then I decided to support him till he was ready. No one can be helped till they actually want the help so he finally realized that he was addicted and it was taking over him. We decided to do an at home detox wich I'm not gonna lie it wasn't easy for both of us. But within two weeks he was able to start to go back to normal. Unfortunately he gave in again about six months later and again we had to do the detox. Once more two weeks after he was clean and ready to start over. He stayed clean a few years then went back, boy was I upset but there's nothing I could've done but support him and try to help him once more. This time we decided to get help at a clinic for more support and we found it. He's been going to a methadone clinic for about two months now and they are lowering his dosage a bit at a time so he won't have the withdrawals and he can be able to function and go to work. It's not an easy road but it can be done don't give up if anything you need to use your children as motivation to get clean. You're not a bad person, father or husband you just unfortunately became a victim of these adicting pills wich a lot of times the doctors won't warn people about. There are many  options out there that can help you when you're ready 1. Methadone 2. Subutex 3. Suboxone and these are just a few. Personally I think you're ready because you already took the first step by admitting your addiction and taking notice that its affecting your life. Be strong you can do it and remember Nobody Is Perfect.
Good luck and ill be praying for you and your family
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1683709_tn?1370713201
Hi, my name is Sue and I have had 2 back surgeries and I still need to take medication for the chronic pain I live with.  I don't know why you are being so hard on yourself?  Luckily for me, I go to a chronic pain clinic where they understand what it is like to live in pain.  

They help me to manage my meds and not get addicted. But at the same time we all know that using any opiates, will cause dependency.  So I don't know if you are truly an addict or are you just dependent on the drug you are taking?

When I was on morphine for 2 years, I got fed up with all the nasty side effects, and I was going into withdrawal a few times a day.  That is when I knew I had to come off morphine. I knew that I would have to taper down gradually. I went from taking 4/30mg a day, to 4/15mg a day and then 4/10mg.  At that point I was getting pretty sick and decided to just come off them, and my Dr. prepared me for what to expect.  

I was sick for 6 weeks. It was difficult, but I knew this and tried to get by one day at a time.  I was lucky to have a supportive family.  I think the worst part is not being able to sleep very well.  But my dr. gave me anti- anxiety pills and sleeping pills to help me come off the morphine.  I was so ill, my back pain surprisingly didn't bother me too much, since my brain was focused on the body pain (very flu like)!

I think you sound like a strong person, and I am sure you can handle detoxing of the drugs you are taking.  I would encourage you to tell your Dr. what is happening and see what he/she can do for you. I'm sure you will get the help if you are honest.  Then you can get a prescription, and make a plan to wean off them, you can do it.  And with your back surgeries, you may need to take something else?  Maybe you can cope with tylenol 3's, once you are off the percocet.  If you live somewhere that medical marijuana is legal maybe you can get that prescribed for you?  It will help you with the detox and help your back pain.

I live in Canada, and the medical marijuana saved my life!  It's true, because once I had detoxed off the morphine, my back pain was truly making me feel suicidal.  So I totally get how you just want to end the pain once and for all.  Hang in there, be honest with your Dr's and get the help you deserve.

You should not be punished for living with back pain.  You know you have a problem with percocet, but maybe you will do better without them or with a different drug that manages your pain.

You can do it, and treat yourself with love and kindness.  If you can't do it at home with a Dr's help, please get a referral to a detox facility.

I wish you all the best, and please know that you aren't alone.
Sue
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Avatar_f_tn
Let me give some advice from exp. Dont try methadone its horrible,but suboxene might be something to check into ive heard good things about it & also talk to a dr about getting on something for depression u dont wanna miss watching that baby grow up trust me I got 5 beautiful kids.
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