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Is my new husband an addict?
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Is my new husband an addict?

I keep trying to post in here, but it won't. I'm at my wits end, I need to know the signs and where I get help for my new husband. I think he's an addict. I posted all of the details in a different community, but I don't know what to do.

Hides pills, pretty confident he takes 10-15/day (prescribed 6/day); mood swings, money issues. I know I sound stupid and naïve, but I'm highly educated and professional, I have never been around this before and I've only been married for 6 months. I'm 39. I didn't just 'jump' into this marriage thing, I made a lifelong commitment and I feel like my entire life is unraveling.
1684282_tn?1350782543
My heart aches when I get questions like yours. You must understand that your husband is probably dependent on his opiates and has not come to grips with the fact that he is losing control of his life to an opiate addiction. He is probably terrified of you finding out that he is not quit the man you thought he was when you met and fell in love. And he is right to be frightened because opiates have that effect on people. They take possession of their bodies and souls and I mean it in quite literal terms.
Chronic use of opiate actually changes the structure of the central nervous system at the neuronal level as well as on the actual anatomical level, where the size of certain brain structures can decrease over time. The amount  of opioid receptors increases, but the ability of the system to produce the endogenous endorphins is almost completely shut down. Thus the brain craves increasingly higher doses of exogenous (outside) opiates creating incredible physical craving.
That craving can be described as a passion that is consuming the person's mind from the moment they wake in the morning to the moment the go to sleep.  Nothing is more important, not a wife, not a child, not a job, nothing. That is when a dependence becomes an addiction and asocial behavior affects daily life, relationships, careers, etc...
You can certainly confront your husband, but you risk losing him.
There is not much you or I can do to help someone who is not willing to be helped. Your love will NOT save him. People get hooked on drugs for many different reasons - childhood trauma, depression, anxiety. But there are always better ways to deal with those issues. Drugs are always an escape and an excuse.
In my clinic we see patients who got hooked on opiates for all sorts of different reasons, but it is possible to detox and get their lives together, however only when it is the patient's decision and commitment.  Without such dedication no treatment will work.  
I wish you all the luck in the world. You will need emotion strength to get through whatever it is ahead of you. Tell him that you are there for her, but he needs to work out her issues or they will catch up with him.  He will find a myriad of excuses that have nothing to do with her. It is never the addict's fault, ever. The drugs take over what used to be their character and the essence of their being.  Impress on him that you are always there for him, but will not accept any excuses and lies. Sometimes it takes facing a loved one telling you the truth, sometime it takes losing that loved one, to realize what is truly important.
I welcome his questions should he have any. He can read my blogs by clicking on my name in blue and taking it from there. There is also an "Addiction Screener" that you may both find interesting on my clinic's website. Just click under my clinic's logo.
Sorry about the tough love.
2 Comments
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8552937_tn?1398785559
You fell in love with. If he is using you most likely you meat him using! I'm a addict i think I'm the same person unless I don't have one then I might be ill cause I hurt.OK if u ask him if his using he said yes would u look at him different?
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MDS Rapid Drug Detox
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