Pleasee in desperate need of advice?~

I'm a 17 year old girl and suffer from anxiety/panick attacks. I've developed (or so i think) anxiety from watching porn. In 8-th grade 14-15 was my first exposure to porn just because i was curious. Every week i would watch porn and afterward i'd feel EXTREMELY guilty, i didn't feel like a good girl should behave. At 16, i experience my first panick atatck, racing thoughts, depression just because of porn!
However why do some teens consider porn Ok..and i went crazy and developed anxiety?
I still suffer from anxiety and it got worse since i don't treat it!
(afraid to leave house alone, scared of talking to myself, son't want to leave house)

PLEASE HELP

[J T Junig, MD PhD]

Your question is a good one for a psychodynamic psychiatrist (like myself).  The theory behind your symptoms would be that your anxiety and panic are coming from 'conflict' between natural sexual drives and the morality that you have inside of you, built up from lessons from your parents, church, and other guiding forces in life.  Freud talked about the 'id', the unconscious part of your mind that is motivated by drives like sex and aggression, the ego, and the 'superego', which is the part of your mind that wants you to be good, pure.. the type of person your parents can be proud of.  

Your symptoms could be treated with a prozac-like medication, or with psychotherapy, or both.  Psychodynamic psychotherapy would include helping you see the conflict, and helping you work out a compromise between the competing forces in your conscious mind-- or 'ego'.  

A couple thoughts... first, sexual thoughts are normal as a person goes through the teen years, but pornography, particularly some types of pornography, usually portrays women in very humiliating ways.  Some things can make a person more susceptible to being drawn in by pornography, such as early exposure to sexual images or ideas, or sexual abuse by an adult.  

Second, as a good friend once told me about a different subject:  there are some things that one sees that cannot be 'unseen'.  Pornography creates attitudes in the viewer that are hard to simply erase when the images are removed.  I do suggest that you seek treatment;  you can start simply by telling someone about the anxiety, and leaving out the pornography aspects of the anxiety until you are speaking privately with a professional.