My husband is a crack cocain addict. We have been married for 2 years 9 months. I became aware of his crack addiction 1 year 5months ago when he started using again after a stressful time when we both left our own countries and tried to start a happily married life which went wrong (I'm not making excuses for him but it was the wrong place to be in when we had many troubles).
He has been diagnosed with COPD (his left lung is destroyed, his right going that way, although I was not with him when he went to the doctor as I was abroad visiting my family. Even though he is a relatively young copd sufferer at 37 I tend to believe it is true as he has smoked for 20 years and abused crack for probably 10 years). My immediate reaction on my return was to convince him to see a lung specialist and get more tests or even at least to halt the disease by stopping smoking, but I have failed miserably. My life is an awake nightmare. I can also see and hear the deterioration in his lung capacity. I have tried to convince him to see someone, but to no avail and I can't control his behaviour ( he is a paranoid crack addict) On his crack binges he is now physically trying to die to stop the pain he feels in his lungs. I know I should have left him before things got to this, but he always stopped smoking for weeks or a few months, and I always believed there was hope.
Now I don't feel I can leave him, I don't want him to die alone but I'm unsure as to what his actual death will be like and I want to prepare myself. He is very stubborn and 'does not want a machine to help him breathe', he won't go to a doctor or a hospital. I don't want him to suffer anymore than he has to. What will it be like? What should I do?
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