Marina, I think you know the answer to your question! Understand, though, that if you are accurate in your self-assessment, then I have no idea what goes on in the mind of your species! I cannot really relate, because I have never been anywhere close to a situation where I could control my use of opiates.
It seems that like bad news and bad movies, messages come in threes. My last message or two were along this same line-- people who believed they were 'physically dependent' and not addicted. I wonder, though, in your case as well. Just because you weren't addicted for several years, does not mean you are not addicted NOW. And I worry about a couple things you wrote-- that you felt guilty for what you are doing with the Suboxone, for example. Also, it seems from your writing that this was not a case of a person taking NSAIDS for moderate pain, ice or heat for worse pain, and opiates for the severest pain... it sounds more like a case of taking a bit of opiate on a 'bad day'-- which may have been bad because of pain 'in part', but also bad for other reasons.
I will leave the decision over the state of your 'dependence' to you. But to answer your question about Suboxone-- yes, you are playing with fire. The ceiling effect that is by now well known occurs relatively early with Suboxone... or late with buprenorphine, depending how you view it. Buprenorphine is a 'microgram' drug; it is given in a dose of 20 micrograms to treat severe pain. When you take a sliver of a Suboxone tablet, say one eighth of a tab, you are taking 1000 micrograms! That is a small sliver of Suboxone, but a huge dose of buprenorphine. The ceiling occurs around 2-4 mg (2000-4000 micrograms), so when you take a sliver of buprenorphine you are near the maximal dose-- equal to taking 30 mg of methadone or 50 mg of oxycodone. Buprenorphine sticks around a long time, so it has the potential to push your tolerance up with one or two doses.
We really could use a lower-dosed formulation of buprenorphine, to help with tapering and to use to treat pain. Anyone out there own a pharmaceutical company?
And just to make the joke - once you find it's effective, and you no longer need your norco's - mail 'em to me. :) Sorry, couldn't resist.