vicodin & morphine addiction??

My husband has been on prescription pain killers since I met him over 11 years ago.  He is now taking 60 morphine(30mg pills) and 90 vicodin(500mg pills) on a monthly basis.  Sometimes he runs out and can't even make it 30 days.  His doctor (VA clinic) continues to prescribe both along with sleeping pills and anti-depressants.  If you ask me - it's overkill for sure!  He is angry all the time and has frequent outbursts of physical anger.  He is absolutely miserable to be around.  He can snap from calm and charming to angry and threatening and back again all in a matter of minutes.  I have reached the end.  I don't know how to help him and he insists its not the meds and that I don't understand the pain he is in.  He blames me for his outbursts saying I 'push' him until he explodes.  He has trouble concentrating for even 2-3 minutes which makes any conversation  Has anyone successfully helped someone realize the harm they are causing themselves and everyone around them?  How do I get the doctor to stop prescribing - you'd think if anyone would know - he would?!

[Julia M Aharonov, DO]

I wish there was a magic word that I had to help you. I feel so bad for you, I could cry. You can talk to your husband and tell him you are there for him, that you see what is going on, that you see that he is not himself. You can tell him how much you love him and how devastated you would be to loose him. You can ask him to please try to get better and to try get off the pills for you and your family.
You can also try to ask someone else for help, may a pastor of a church that you go to? Or some one your husband respects?
You can not do anything other than that to make him quit. The addict has to want to quit by himself. It needs to come from inside of them, it must be their decision. But people have been known to do a lot for their families. So try to talk to him, tell him your fears and your worries about being left alone without him, or having to leave him, because he has changed so very much. Tell him how much he means to you. Tell him you want him to be healthy and happy and see you stay married for a very long time. Tell him that you don't want to find him dead one day of an overdose.
You have to understand  that it is incredibly hard to quit opiates once you are in their grip. Those pills change the actual physical make-up of the person. Your husband may not want to be an addict, he can not quit, or he does not know how. He needs to know that there are ways of doing it if he really wants to. He also has some actual pain issues to deal with. But as I said , the decision must be his. If he wants to quit, he can read some of my blogs by clicking on my name in blue or by going on my website www.mdsdrugdetox.com.
Please know that I am here for you. Keep in touch.
Dr. Julia

[take_care1]

I am going throuh the same thing with my boyfriend right now. its good to know im not the only one but its terribly hard regardless. I know its an addiction and its not his fault but the outbursts are scary and i cry and yell back out of frustation. its so hard for him to see that 99%of our problems stem from his addiction. the best thing you can do as a wife is stick by him and show him.you are there for.him to talk to and.lean on. even though its hard to find a good time try to sit with him and talk to him about how dangerous this is for both of you and how badly you want him to get better. he will more than likely need medical help to get clean (methodone,sobos) but the first step is he.has to want it and he has to be motivated. he goes through serious emotional and physical pain and probably.feels depressed and knows hes letting you down etc. let him know that you support him and are there to help him thru anything dont forget that you know him better than anyone. the more you underatand his addiction the more you can help him and help your self deal and cope with it. good luck sweetheart!!