You need to find other ways to cope, healthy way, nondestructive ways. Drugs will take everything and everybody from you. I know is hard but is worth the effort. Try to get involved in something that you can do for others, things that will keep your mind busy and make you feel good about yourself. Look in your community …Stay healthy…
Hey man. I had the same type of thing - recreational use for a few months, then my own supply, then having my life revolve around addiction.
What about marijuana is good for you? You're still very young; I personally do not believe marijuana is harmful... but you have to know your addictive personality. Taking drugs in any public place is a bad idea.
Try to moderate yourself, or see a therapist who won't just sit there and tell you to stop smoking weed. If I were in your shoes, and needed to be high to function, I would try to go 24 hours without smoking any weed.
The thing about dopamine is that it naturally occurs in your brain; your brain uses it to remember important things (i.e. where are my keys, have I made enough progress on this assignment, when is the last time I sat down to write a tune etc.) ... once you put dope into your brain, your brain wants more dope.
I'm thrilled to read you're not experimenting with other drugs. I have graduated to cigarettes (and now an electronic cigarette) cuz I am addicted to filling my lungs with smoke (and now vapor).
I don't know if marijuana is legal in your hometown or if it is commonplace amongst your circle of friends, but I do know this; call it a drug, a plant, an escape, whatever you want to call it... if it's affecting your life in a negative way, cut yourself off and refocus your goals.
An easy way to ween off marijuana is reward yourself with good nutrition; when you're craving a high, eat some amazing food. Or, try dark chocolate. Or do as many pushups as you can.
It's impossible to work on your mind AND body if you're too high to feel the difference. Keep updating, mang!