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Adoption???HELP
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Adoption???HELP

My boyfriend just told me to get an abortion.

My parents will def throw me out. Is there any place I can go until I stabilize and get a job, ince my boyfriend does not want me anymore I don't have job cause I'm finishing my BA I'm 10 courses away but since it's psychology I'll need a Master to practice( I was going to do it in I/O psych). Is it that impossible to study with a child?

I don't want to get rid of the baby cause I don't believe in abortion I definetley will love my baby, it will destroy me for the rest of my life to get an abortion or give him in adoption. I see a lot of questions here from kids trying to find their parents, I really would like to hear what you have to say,  I don't want to leave my child with the feeling that I leave him cause I did not loved him, If someone here have passed through a situation like mine, a mother who have given their child in adoption I really need an advice

I don't know a lot of people and l will def have to leave my home and my parents, I don't want them to know cause it will destroy them even more than if i just leave maybe with time I can call them.

So I'm basically alone. Anyone has been in a similar place I really need an advice and I'm way too depressed to think right.

Thanks for ur time
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3 Comments Post a Comment
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If you can go through with adoption, there is a lot of help out there.  Tons of couples looking to adopt, and expenses paid, and so forth.  
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There should be some resources in your community, such as a women's centre or shelter, a place for supporting women that may be able to help you out in finding a place to stay, and supporting you with your pregnancy and baby, as well as resources to help you find a babysitter, child support, counselling and ways to live with it while you study. Take as much time as you need in coming to a decision.
Adoption is a wonderful thing, I was adopted as a baby into a wonderful family and they were supportive and told me about it from as early as i could understand, and if i ever decide to have any children i would adopt. Of course it is something you will live with, but if you know it is something you must do in order to give that baby a good life, then you can feel very good about it.
If I were you i would look into all of your options, give yourself time, and be calm and clearheaded when you make that decision, you may decide you are stable and would like to keep the child and finish your education. It is possible.
You just have to look into the resources and options in your community, you can find support and help through the different organizations.
If adoption is one of your options, it is a very good one. I am not sure how the agencies work nowadays, but when my parent's adopted me, my birth mother was able to choose from a bunch of letters, confidentially getting to know the lifestyle and type of people she wanted to raise me, was able to choose my parent's. Having talked to other adopted people, and people who have given up their children for adoption, it is something they always remember, especially when their child's birthday comes up. I think the age where i live is 19, and you can arrange to meet your birth parent's.
I tried to myself, but my birth mother did not want to have anything to do with me, so i don't have much to share about that experience. It was a long process of phone calls to the agencies, it costed money for them to do their sleuthing. I never had any hard feelings towards her. She was just a stranger to me my whole life, but i was very interested to meet her and learn about my ancestry and relative family history. I still have the option to meet my birth father, however he does not know i exist, and i am rather content living in the mystery now. I used to struggle with not knowing who i was, and being a different race from my family, i was born with cultural differences and did not quite mesh well with my families beliefs and traditions, but i am more than okay with it now. I think it is important for children with different cultural backgrounds to be able to be situated into a family and support that can at least teach them about their own background. I would love to adopt multiculturally for that reason.
I hope everything goes okay. In my eyes, the most important thing is having support from your family. Despite your age, and despite what you think they will think, i believe you should tell them, family is important, and they may be able to support you through it all.
I know my parent's would flip out if i got pregnant even now, but i also know they would still love me, and do everything to help me through it. If you are worried they will view it as a huge mistake, just remember all parent's go through their children making mistakes.
Most probably the last thing they will want is for you to ditch them, be alone and get into even more trouble without knowing how to support yourself properly. Even if a huge storm arises from it all, i still think it wouldn't hurt to ask them for help before you just abandon all hope of them understanding.  
And I am so sorry to hear about what happened with your boyfriend, it was terrible of him to tell you to get an abortion. In anyway, i think you should seek some counselling throughout this time to help you through, they may also be able to point you in the direction of support and resources. You can go to your family doctor to be referred to a counsellor.
Best of wishes, and congratulations with your pregnancy, i am sure whatever choice you make will be the best one.


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As a birthmother myself, I understand how hard it is to even think of giving up a child for adoption, but in the long run it was the best decision that I ever made for my family. My daughter is now 5 years old and happy and healthy. She loves her adpotive family. Ultimatley this has to be your decision and you have to be comfortable with it. DO NOT do this because everyone else wants you to. There are also lots of different types of adoption open closed half and half..... you are the birth mother, so therefore you get to pick the perfect family for your baby!
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