Found my older brother who was given up for adoption...
have depression..no doubt. But things had gotten better... I could write a book about what happened but I will say it as short as I can. My parents had a baby when they were 16 and they gave him up for adoption. My parents stayed together, and had me 10 years later, and after me, 4 years later they had my little brother. I just found out about my older brother about 2 years ago. November my boyfriend/bestfriend broke up with me after about 2 years. I was beyond depressed. So to keep my mind on something a lot happier, I decided to find my older brother. After extensive research, I found him in january. he was 27 (just recently turned 28)...handsome, had a girlfriend of 7 years, and extremely happy with his life, and extremely happy i came in contact with him.
Im just so redicuosly sad...I feel abandoned and I feel like he hates me...like..he means soooo much to me, and i dont think i mean much to him. I didnt really know where to post this question...I just have no one to talk about this really. Why has he suddenly stopped talking? Im so scared cause I dont want to loose my relationship with him..
You probably have built him up to be this ideal, perfect icon, and if he is so ideal and perfect, his approval makes your life seem more special, at a time when you ain't a-feelin' that much special (i.e., after a breakup). It's great that you found him, but don't make him into something he is not, he is just your brother, after all, not your savior. Work instead on doing things you like and that fulfill you by making you feel you're involved with something more important than your own concerns. Volunteering is great for this. (I used to volunteer at a local Humane Society when I was 18, and if you can believe it, learned the proper way to wash a puppy from a retired army sergeant. It was funny and sad, and it sure took me out of my own stuff, which I needed. Find something where other people's problems make yours look small by comparison, and where you can really feel like the work you do has immediate, positive results. It will lift you out of the loop you're in over your brother. Good luck!
Thanks for your response...it made me feel better.
Voulenteering is something that I want to do...I probably will do it a lot when I go off to college next year. I think I look up to him so much because my parents are extremely unsupportive and dont act like parents at all. I cant look up to any of them as role models, they offer me no guidence or anything and I grew up with that my whole life, and I finally found SOMEONE in my family who I could look up to. And hes at a perfect age (28) where hes young enough to be my friend, but old enough to be someone I can look up to and ask for guidence. We understand eachother a lot and I think i got too caught up with the idea that someone was actually there for me.
I just dont get why all of the sudden hes cut off communication from me. I didnt like, do anything to freak him out or anything...I just dont know.
Brothers and sisters often go long periods without direct communication. I think I talk to one of my sisters every six months or so. We're still glad to talk to each other, but we're busy. My sisters in the same town, I talk to more often, but it's usually about family matters that concern us both. I don't think your brother signed on to be your lifeline. Don't sulk if he's too busy to answer your emails, don't interpret it as "he suddenly cut off communication from me." He might just be genuinely busy. Again, he's your brother, not your savior there to carry you along through life. I'd just make it a policy to email him every Sunday, or every Saturday, and let the rest of it relax. Don't brood over his Facebook page and get mad at the siblings he grew up with. It's not appropriate to the situation.
Take care, honey. I know it was exciting to find him, but again, he's just your brother, not your boyfriend, not your mom and dad, and not your mom-and-dad surrogate.
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