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Having baby in seot. Thinkin bout adoption.. possibly
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Having baby in seot. Thinkin bout adoption.. possibly

Im 19 years old and i am now 16 week and 3 days pregnant. I am very scared. The guy who got me pregnant is 25 years old , he is a ex drug addict and he just got fired from his job. I myself was adopted 4 years ago to the famioy i have now after being in foster care since i was 3 months old although i do know and still do talk to my bio parents. I am honestly considering adoption, It is a subject that i know alott about but i am not really sure what to do. I know and so does my family that i can take care of and care for my baby. I am also scared that the babys father will try and take the baby from me if i decide to keep it... Im at a loss for words and thoughts..
Please anyone with comments.. I would love to hear them

Thank you,
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16 Comments Post a Comment
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142722_tn?1281537216
If you are 100% sure you don't really want to don't!!!  I just found my son and he is 17 and he didn't excally have a wonderful childhood - his mother is a drunk - and his parents divorced when he was 4 and his father has anger issue - so you tell me how much more harm could I have done - they screen these people but you really don't know what your child will go through - this is only my experience.  Since I found my son, he loves me, wants to come see me, calls me mom and is very happy - i can say that his father has done a good job and if it wasn't for him he would be lost - his adoptive dad is the best!!!


I am preggo to 34 and wasn't sure if I should keep this one but I decided to and hope it works out - you got plenty of time to decide and I am sure there are good homes out there for you child, mine story is just a story ok and I am sure it is not the norm.

Point 2 a drug addict can not get your baby!!  There are ways to prove he is unfit, noth the less, he does have to say ok to the adoption to.  You are in a hard stop.  
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Avatar_f_tn
The day has to sign aways all rights as well otherwise the adoption is incomplete and he can take the kid back.
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961574_tn?1402509153
I am so sorry you are having to deal with all of this responsiblity and disapointment at your age.  I cannot tell you wether to put your child up for adoption or not, but I can tell you from a person who was adopted as a baby by wonderful parents, that it was the best thing my birth mother could have ever done.  Of course that was a long time ago, as I am 42.  I just found my birth mother a couple of years ago, and although I have not met her in person, I have a wonderful relationship with her and hope to met her someday.  I do not hold it against her for 1 minute that she gave me up.  My parents gave me a wonderful family and home to grow up in.  
I can also tell you from a woman who has been stuggling with infertility for 7 1/2 years with her husband, that there are sooooo many couples out there that would give you child a WONDERFUL and stable,both emotionally and financially, life.   You have plenty of time to decide, and I know you will do what is best for both you and your unborn child.  I wish you peace with your decision, and I am here if you need to talk.  

Melissa
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1182699_tn?1297578384
I'm not sure where teddybears4ever2 got their information, but I'm not sure that info.is correct unless the laws have recently changed...if they have I'm sorry for being so forward.  If you are considering adoption you need to get in contact with a legal adoption agency or a lawyer for an understanding of the current adoption laws and your rights as a birthmother.  I was adopted at birth and have a wonderful family...life wasn't perfect, but I would not change any of it.  I have met my birthmother recently and when she gave me up, she gave me up...she does not want to be a part of my life due to the fact it upsets her other daughter...be prepared for whatever you choose...going through an adoption home will allow you access to counselors, which I think are vital in this process...Best of luck to you.
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1296763_tn?1278648163
First of all the dad is not going to get custody. I had the same exact thoughts going through my head when it happened to me, i was 19 and pregnant with my daughter her dad wanted nothing to do with her, and then says if i decide to keep her he will be going for full custody. Well let me tell you he did end up taking me to court when she was 3 months old and he just ended up with visitation which turned into weekends when she was a year old. He now is a great dad since he grew up more and i could not ask for better. As for your situation if hes into drugs and issues like that, he will not get what my daughters dad got from the courts, i swear that to you. If you would like to talk more about this with me feel welcomed to send me an email. I promise i know what you are going through and ill be here to talk with you no matter which decision you think you may make.
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212161_tn?1410016711
from what i understand , if the dad is still around than he has a right to the baby, its his as much as yours so if you dont want the baby , he has a right to take it. i know a girl that gave up her baby , thinking dad could not get it , but he did. so check the laws in your state get a lawyer and see what rights the father has.  dont just take what you read on here be 100 sure before you let him have it.
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Avatar_n_tn
When I was 19 years old, I became pregnant and was soooo unprepared and immature.  I had never taken care of a baby, and had no idea what I was doing.  I was also adopted when I was a baby to the most wonderful, loving parents.  I considered putting my child up for adoption, but his dad encouraged me to keep him....and I am so greatful that he did.  It was the best decision I've made.  My child is the best thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life.  My parents helped me raise him, and sort of showed me the ropes on how to take care of a baby, I grew up and matured faster than I thought I could.  Now, he is a bright, sweet, happy 10 year old boy that loves music and swimming and has a lot of people around him that love him.  If you have a good support system like I did, it makes all the difference when raising a child at such a young age.  I must also note that he is my only child and I did not make the stupid mistake of getting pregnant again and again like so many of these young mothers you see that are overstressed, detatched, and many times impoverished.
      As for putting the baby up for adoption, since I was adopted, I am not opposed to adoption if you do not have the financial or emotional means to take care of the child.  If you are not ready to put your own needs and wants aside, and make sacrifices, then you may consider adoption. The best thing for this child is to have a family as a support system around him/her that will nurture, protect, and love him at any cost.  You must do what is right for your BABY, this is your number one priority now.  
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Avatar_f_tn
I am not unable to have children of my own.  What I really want to tell you is that I would love to adopt your baby, as I am unable to have children on my own.  I am currently doing ivf.  My heart tells me to tell you that while you will give so much up to have a child at your age,.........you will be giving up an amazing opportunity to allow a child to have a lasting impact on your life.  You have to make a very difficult decision.  Good luck!
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Avatar_f_tn
I have no idea what it must be like to be you right now. I do know what it's like to try and decide what is the best for your baby. I got pregnant with my son at 21 and knew adoption was an option but ultimately knew in my heart that he should be raised by his father and me. We weren't even together then but have since gotten married and have made a wonderful life for ourselves and our son who is 3 now. I'd like to give you my e-mail address so if you'd like to talk more privately, we can. Because of health reasons I am unable to have anymore children. My husband and I have been talking in depth about private or public adoption. Since your post caught my eye I thought we could talk about you, your life, your decision, what you want for your life and if you do decide to place your baby a good agency and maybe even my husband and I being the adoptive parents! I didn't even think of that til half way through my comment. Anyway, send me a private message on here if you can and I'll give you my e-mail address. I hope you're doing well and I hope I can help!
Xoxo Heather
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465737_tn?1315758522
You're in my thoughts during this time.
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Avatar_f_tn
I think you should keep it. I almost  gave my 2nd daughtr up 4 adoption because i didnt kno how to handle 2kids at 17...but i kept my baby and i am so glad because i love her so much from the day i saw her. Both my babies are great and i love them both to death. Its hard but i think all children really should b with their mother. And no1 can take your baby from you unless they hav full proof of you being a bad mother (beating your kids, on drugs, etc.)
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757137_tn?1347200053
Once you have carried the baby for nine months and then finally look into his innocent fact, I don't think you will be able to give him up.
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Avatar_f_tn
was just wondering what ever happened
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1687929_tn?1319429611
I just wanted to give to some suggestions from my experience helping my close friends who kept their babies when they were pregnant in highschool. If u know u have the will and modivation and love to raise your child do it!! Don't let the unfit father take that baby away from you. He has a right to be in its life but not to take it away from you. My advice would be to learn and get educated. Enroll in as many paerenting classes as you can that will not affect your schooling. I was lucky to convince 1 out of 3 of my friends to go to college while raising a baby and the other to tell me over and over how they should have listened and regret it. But all of them took parenting classes and realized that they needed to learn to be a good mom and they could give their child everything and be happy. Being informed about pregnancy and raising a child will help with your decision more than anything so I suggest first no matter how far along you are enroll in any parenting classes.
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Avatar_f_tn
Hang in there. If u need someone to talk to, I would love to be there for u. U can call me at 949-421-9666
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1689965_tn?1320760748
I am a birth mom. I have a beautiful daughter who has a wonderful life with awesome adoptive parents. I had the option to pick the lucky couple that would adopt my child. As a birth mother you are in control of who adopts your baby. I picked her parents and I'm confident that I made the right choice. I had the birth father sign the papers before she was born, screened the couples during my pregnancy and chose the ones that I felt most comfortable with. Her mother held my hand during labor then took her home from the hospital. Make the choice for you not anyone else
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