How should i begin to look for my bio-parents? At a loss on where to begin. I have medical questions and i would like to know if i have siblings. For the record i am fully prepared to walk away if i find them and they would not like a friendship, but would like some nessesary family medical history. Also the chance of them being together are a long shot so i would be on 2 different searches.
hello james i was put up for adopton when i was 3 months old and i think i might be able to help with a few sugestions first of all can you tell me where you live then i can do some look=ups for you and we can go from there. by the the way after many years searching i did find my birth mother it was truley wonderfull please get back to me thank-you and good-luck
After speaking with your parents to see if they may have any information on your birth parents, the next thing I would tell you to do is find out whether your adoption records are sealed. If they are, you can get a physician/psychiatrist to give a medical reason as to why you need to know your fmaily medical history. This will give you non-identifying information as to your biological parents.
As for them possibly rejecting you or not being thrilled with a reconciliation, I'll just give two completely different outcomes from when my brothers found their birth parents. My oldest brother was acceptive or her and she of him from the get go. He has 3 step brother/sisters and they vacation here and in California together. They have a great friendship.
My other brother was found by his birth mother. She called him on the phone and said, "Hello, this is your mother." Well, that didn't sit well with my brother, who basically told her to "F" off becuase you have never been my mother, and you will never get to have that priviledge again. He basically told her to get lost. I think alot of that stems from being hurt at being rejected at a baby, and then her ego in thinking they would just resume a mother/son relationship as htough nothing ever happened.
Good luck to youl. I hope that everything will go well and that you will be able to find what you are looking for.
Hi James, I started on my journey to find my natural mother when i was your age. In fact, unfortunately the month I started searching turned out to be the same mo. she passed away from a pulmonary embolism at 53. Sad I never got to meet or know her, but I got to know her sister and her kids, one of which was born the same wk I was, and I do have a much younger half-bfother whom I met when he was just 13. As to how this all came about...I was adopted at 9 days old by my wonderful mother and daddy....her Dr had delivered me and since she couldn't have children of her own... well, it was just meant to be. I had a great childhood and upbringing, but I was curious and having children of my own, I, like you, wanted some medical info mainly. This was in Houston in the late 70's and there was a group formed by a lady from Colorado named Jean Payton called Orphans Voyage. Anyway I got involved in it along with 20-30 other adoptees and we would meet once a month and get info on searching, etc. Someone there told me I should try to get a copy of my adoption decree, since the records in Tx were sealed and I think still are. I went to the courthouse in Houston where I was born and got a copy of the decree and guess what....lo and behold, there after the first and middle name my adoptive parents had given me was my birth mother's last name. So that was a great place to start. The name was not common, so that helped too. A man from NY had gotten involved with the group helping people search, didn't charge a dime and some how searched through Presbyterian church records and located my birth mother, although like I said, she had died months earlier. But yes, I did get lots of information and found out the summer I was conceived, she was Miss Tx, lol. It's definitely worth doing, don't give up. I really do wish I could have met her, but I guess that's life. Hey, if you have any questions, feel free to PM me anytime. Best of luck to you.
If you go to adoption.com and start a profile, a search angel should contact you. After a 3 year search with the home I was adopted from at birth, I went to this website, paid a woman who contacted me a mere $60 and she found my birthmother, her siblings, my siblings, and maternal birth grandparents within 15 minutes. I was amazed! I paid the home I was adopted from A LOT of money and they led me on a wild goose chase! I too had medical issues and was desperate. All the information I gave them was the city and state I was born in,my birthdate, and gender. I immediately got an email with my birthmother's name from the birth index as my original birth certificate matched my adopted birth certificate. Many adoptees don't realize they have 2 birth certificates, but they do. Original Texas birth certificates are now available and once you get your birthmother's name in Texas, you can request that document. It's very strange to see yourself as a "Baby Girl" instead of who you really are. The search angel contacted my birthmother and she refused to speak to me for 3 more years. She did tell me my BF had passed away and I contacted his mother who also was VERY hateful. I thought I was prepared for that type of reaction, but I really was not. It is very hurtful to hear you were not wanted (should that be your case, and it very well may not be). I finally got up the nerve to contact my siblings, which one responded quickly and happily and gave me the medical info. I needed. The others are very jealous of my existence. Sure enough, what I have came from my maternal grandmother. My BF died from diabetes at the age of 35, so there is a lot of health history. I have since met my birthmother, but as I'm sure many adoptees feel, she is certainly not my mother. God does know what he's doing. My BM is a wonderful mother to her 3 other children, but let me know, I shamed her family and she did not want me. It is your right to know your medical history and where you came from. Be prepared for any outcome and good luck to you! If I can help you in any way, just post.
I'm going through the search now. It's a long process. You have to contact an organization. There would be organizations for helping your find them.
The one I am doing, can help you in different searches, but it's a local one. The first step is you send them your info, fill out the applications, and they send you the actual papers signed by your bio parents when they gave you up for adoption. It works through the mail.
Those papers only sends you the names of your birth parents.
Kind of useless, because you cant hunt them down yourself.
The next kind of search is more elaborate, they somehow send out a message to your birth parents and if they obligue, they arrange a time for you to meet.
There are different organizations to help with it.
I found out her name so far. The next step i have to pay for.
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