Adoption Community
NEEDhelp!!
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This patient support community is for discussions relating to adoption costs, foster children, adoption planning, Adoption Resources, adoption in foreign countries, birth parents, emotional issues, family issues, interracial adoption, legal issues, newborns, parenting, school issues, teens, toddlers, open adoption, and step parent adoption.

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NEEDhelp!!

I'm Only 18goin on 19 & I Already have a 2yr Old Baby boy, I Raise him alone with No help from "Baby Daddy".. I jst found out I'm 5mons pregnant Having a Baby Girl.. yes from same Dad & I'm Totally confused I don't know what to do? I Would love too keep Her but its Already hard enough as ot is Too raise My son Alone. I know that if I Keep my daughter I'm going to be Doing it Alone. I wanted to have an Open-Adoption but I find it Hard giving up My Baby... but it seems that I Have too.... Anyone out their That can give me some GOOD advise, I'm really in Need...
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1548028_tn?1324616046
I think this is something you will have to decide and I am so sorry.  I see lots of people go through this and I think it's one of the hardest decisions one can make.  I think you guys have lots of options.  I know girls who have an open adoption to a family member, some to a family they have picked but they have it all lined out in a contract regarding visitation, pictures, telling the child who they are from the beginning or not.  I can tell you it is one of the most selfless acts I've seen and I am always so amazed.  Only you and the dad know what you need to do and what's best for your family.  I wish you the very, very best.  If you decide to keep the baby it will all work out, if you decide to adopt your baby to a family you will make someone so very happy.  Goodluck in your decision.  We are here.  ((hugs))
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1852310_tn?1341999145
Hi, have you considered meeting with an adoption agency or attorney to get more information? Having more information may help you make your decision and not obligate you to do anything. Whatever you decide, I'm sure it will be the best decision you can make! Best wishes!
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Avatar_f_tn
Best advice i have is do what's best for your whole family. That incluse you, your son AND your expecting child. Adoption is not something to be ashamed of or a bad option. Giving life to a family that without you couldn't have done it is a great thing and that alone would make me sleep better at night! Good luck!
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Avatar_n_tn
If you know in your heart that you can not raise two alone ..adoption at the earliest age is best . My husband and I have one child and we were approached by a family member to take in a child who was not in the system but , no one wanted her ..well they did but for the wrong reason ..she is 8 and has been living with us now for 2 months she is a beautiful butterfly but she has what is called RAD it is where when she was born between the 8 mothers she has had she was never able to bond or be able to trust. So if you have to do it do it very early so that the child will have a better chance to bond:.. Open adoptions are wonderful and it is not a bad thing it is a very good thing . And it take a lot of courage to do it . But there are many people out there willing and able to provide for the child but , you have to make the choice . You could make it .yes it would be hard but possible ..you are young ...for two years attend college get a education , the government will pay you to attend school as well as provide daycare ..you can do it , but you have got to want it .. And after this baby is born to prevent this from happening again IUD are great and last 7 years and no side effects :) as well as no babies :)
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Avatar_f_tn
I just read your story. & I felt compelled to respond.Like you I was in the same predicament... I went to an adoption agency and did some research & asked lots of questions. I then told the agency exactly what I wanted for my unborn child. Right down to the fact that I did not want him to be an only child! The agency gave me packages of letters from incredible families who were unable to have their own children & were just waiting to shower my unborn child with unconditional love! All there'd families have gone through rigorous background checks to ensure they were good candidates to even be parents! Something we don't have to do ourselves! While we can have babies so easily these families have gone thru many obstacles to even be given a chance to be chosen to adopt a child! The couple I chose to adopt my son had gone through so many disappointing miscarriage & ectopic pregnancies since they'd been married & just really wanted a child/children to share all their love with! I met with them several times throughout my pregnancy that we had such a beautiful bond they even suggested "adopting " me! However, I didn't want to confuse my son and wanted him to have a normal life. We are in constant touch with eachother & my son is going to be 20 tomorrow! Adoption was a blessing for all of us! My son has 4 biological siblings as I've been married now for 10yrs, been able to go to school/college & became a pharmacist to better provide for my family! That family includes my firstborn son & his loving parents who raised him & his sister they also adopted from another young teenage girl who was in the same situation as you & I! Clearly, at the end of the day adoption is something only You can decide is what's best for you & you're family. I just wanted to shed some light on the situation to let u see that it can be as open as YOU want it to be! In my case it's been a blessing for everyone! I will keep u in my prayers & I believe that God will be with you when u make ur decision!
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4775557_tn?1359038281
I can see that you want to give away your child to someone for the good cause and help both the child for future, if you think that it may be difficult to take care of two child then you can go for adoption or else you may talk with the Child daddy if he can help you take care of both.
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