Please, any help and info appreciated!!!!

[vsentz]

Hello everyone! thank you for reading this post.
I am posting here because I know that this could make a difference in one of my bestestest ;) friends' life.
She has suffered from infertility for years... her and her hubby have come to terms with adopting. This is an option they are willing to take, this is not the last resort for them to become parents, rather, this is what they want to do.
=) I am so proud of her!
Anyway, they don't have a humongous house, they don't earn a lot... she's a nurse, he's a teacher. They have a pretty and cozy home with a small, very sweet doggie, a cat and lots of LOOOOOVE to give to their child. They have a backyard that is fenced in and live in (the same street we do) a nice, quiet dead end street.
They would be the dream american family... they just need one more piece to that puzzle.... a baby.

My friend was going with an agency but then found out they didn't offer financing... so they had to drop out... they were a little disappointed about this but still hopeful that adoption is be the best route. So they are looking for another agency for a speedy process.

They are not interested in rasing a caucasian child. Although they would take with all their love one, they know is extremely difficult  (sadly enough) to be matched. (Now I am not certain about this as I am not familiar with the adoption processes.. hence why I am here)
They would love to raise a child that is any race! they don't care! they would love him just as much! They 'know' that international adoptions 'tend' to take less time...?? so they are going for that.

I would like to know ANY kind of information, links, agencies and any extra thoughts that you could please share. I want to help her become a mommy! There's nothing she wants more in this life than hold her own child. Please share what you know with me so that I can pass it along to her!

Thank you!!!!
V

[adgal]

Hi there V!!  How are you girl?  I am not sure if you know this, but DH and I are also starting adoption proceedings, and I have learned quite a bit along the way.  We are pursuing both doemestic and international, and are working with a local agency here in Calgary that does both.  During my research, I was put in touch with a great agency in the states that specializes in International Adoption.  Its called "Its a Small World Adoption Agency".  The only reason we didn't go with them is it is a bit tougher for us Canadians working with US agencies...a few differences in the law, etc.  I can tell you this....Domestic Adoption can be much faster if A. You are prepared to take a slightly older child (we are saying up until 5) and B. You are ok with open adoption (that doesn't necessarily mean full contact...it's more photos, updates etc.  International typically takes about 9 months to a year, so yes, it can be faster.  However, once we started calculating all the costs, it comes in around 30 to 40K.  I am not sure how help with financing works in the US, but its not readily available in Canada.   I think they are doing a beautiful thing.  We are still trying to conceive ourselves, but for me adoption is something I have always wanted to do.  It's so sad it can be so expensive.  The good news is that when they do the HomeStudy, they do not base their decisions on financial wealth, etc.  I believe the minimum income required (this was from It's a Small World) was around $30,000.  I thought HomeStudies would be a lot more difficult then it was, but they did things like checked for police records (having one doesn't necessarily mean you are out, it depends on what it is).  They also checked us out with Social Services to ensure neither of us had any negative type contact with children, ie. had them taken away, that sort of thing.  The agencies also set you up with classes on adoption, go through some of the potential challenges you can face (such as detachement disorder, etc.).  We are only at the beginning of our journey, but so far so good.  

Good luck to your friend V, and she is truly lucky to have someone like you in her life!!!  Amanda

[vsentz]

Oh my goodness girlie!!!!! =)))) you don't know how HAPPY I am for you Mandi!!! this is awesome!! I am so glad you finally found something that will go for sure thru, and will work for you and your dh. It doesn't hurt that you are still TTC, but thru adoption, you know for sure something is gonna come up from it! =) and that's what my friend says... this is something I know is for sure gonna happen... TTC was uncertain and was really taking a toll on us..

Thank you SOOOO MUCH for all the info you wrote! I will forward it to my friend. She was over yesterday, she wanted to see Maddie walk. Her eyes were filled with tears and I could see she was trying as heck to smile... =((( it broke my heart. Maddie let her pick her up and carry her to get the newspaper at the corner of our block... she was talking/singing to her the whole time and she gave her a sloppy kiss when she left. My heart was shrinking. But she has a very good attitude and she's feeling very positive (or so it looks like). She says she was going for some agency and then declined because of the financing... it suck.s! so much money!!!! but they think they found another one that will do financing. So we'll see what happens! =)

We were talking about what she'd like... boy or girl... she said at this point she'd take anything... I sooo know that feeling!... but she says she'd like to dress up a little doll of hers.... ;) and dh was joking with her saying she shouldn't get a boy because she wouldn't let Maddie be friends with him... she'd end up dating him! lol ;))

Anyway, girlfriend, thank you VERY VERY VERY much for your time and info! I am wishing you and your dh THE VERY BEST of lucks on finding your little bundle and I KNOW you are going to be the BEST mommy ever! you deserve the entire heaven for what you'd put up with! =) I am so happy for you hunny!

(((HUGS))) xoxoxoxox

[suzi-q]

I went through an adoption agency in NJ and adopted a beautiful baby from China!  When I adopted my daughter the wait period after homestudy completion was only 11 months...I know that now it is up to approx 2-3 years...that is the down-side as also the cost.  Please remember, the agency fees are usually less than 10,000 over a year or two period...not all one lump sum...the majority of your money goes to government fees...it is a shame...our government as well as the government by which you are adopting are the ones making such a business out of it...The orphanage my daughter came from only got a 3,000 "donation" from us which is hardly enough for all the care and love they give your child before they are in your arms...I would say from start to finish, our fees totalled about 25,000, but that was also 3 years ago.  but, it is not paid all at once...from start to finish, my process took about 2 years.  BEST OF LUCK TO YOUR FRIEND!!!  IT HAD TO BE THE MOST AMAZING EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE!

[bastet56]

Have they tried through their county social services? We adopted through there and the fee 26yrs ago was $500. There are many adoptable children ( babies included) in the system. Ours was caucasian but considered hard to adopt because his mother was mentally ill and his father was unknown. He has grown up to be a fine man and father himself. There are many mixed race children too. Try there.

[jtssteph]

Just wanted to say that I am adopted and I want to thank everyone who considers adoption. Without it, I would never have been introduced to the best parents on the planet whom I love with all my heart. God bless the woman and men who can make the right choice for them and for their babies. There are so many people out there who are ready to make fantastic parents. Good luck to all.

[vsentz]

Thank you so much for all the responses... she's going to her second interview today and getting ready to do the home study. They are so excited! I talked to her the other day and she started to get teary eyed just to think about the magic moment when she sees that little one for the first time, and then come home with him/her!!!! I cannot wait to start planning her baby shower! I simply cannot wait.... =) I hope it's a fast, and not-so-expensive process for them.... they are awesome parents to be!

Thank you all!

[starladarling]

we had to do a second mortgage:(