Adoption Community
Question from a birth mother
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to adoption costs, foster children, adoption planning, Adoption Resources, adoption in foreign countries, birth parents, emotional issues, family issues, interracial adoption, legal issues, newborns, parenting, school issues, teens, toddlers, open adoption, and step parent adoption.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

Question from a birth mother

How do you guys view us.  Just wondering how adopted parents or adopted children view us
Related Discussions
38 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
165308_tn?1323190145
I am an adoptive mother of a little girl from China.  I thank God for her and pray for her everyday.  I am also so grateful to her for not aborting her baby...It is because of her, and her decision to allow someone else to raise her child that I am a mother today to the most wonderful little girl in the world.  I pray that she somehow "knows" that her daughter is very happy and very well taken care of, and most importantly, truly and completely loved.
Blank
142722_tn?1281537216
That makes me smile.  I hope that is how my son's mother views me ;)
Blank
165308_tn?1323190145
I am sure she does.
Blank
503422_tn?1218560541
I was adopted when I was 2 1/2.  I'm now 41 and have never had contact with my birth parents.  I know it's hard for a parent to give up a child; there are so many possible/legitimate reasons.  Many parents who give kids up for adoption suffer their entire lifetime b/c of the decision.  But b/c they choose to put kids up for adoption, they are giving the child a chance at a good life.  The parents who adopted me were honest with me and never showed any signs of resistance to me finding who my birth parents were.  

I've only once tried to get information b/c when I was ready to have kids I wanted to find out about any health issues.  However, I was not permitted to get information without a federal court order (Wash D.C.) so I did not.  Other than that, I figure that if my birth parents are still alive and want to contact me, they can.  I'm not bitter, just indifferent . . . although, it would be interesting to find out a little about my biological parents.
Blank
503422_tn?1218560541
Sorry last post was for kris123, sorry suzi-q
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I well my family want a new baby in our lives to help someone who didnt plan ,cant afford,or just dont want unborn newborn baby I am looking to adopt there are so many agentcies its crazy hard to choose and then be on a waiting list for how long I know theres someone out there pregnant that is just as confused its not easy but it can be if we get together if you or you know someone that is giving up their baby please give me a chance
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I don't know the circumstances in which you gave up your child.  My boys were abused by their stepdad.  Their mom was accused (by the courts) of neglect.  I never paint a grim picture of the boy's mother.  The boys sometimes make comments that they don't think their mom loved them.  I try to tell them that she loved them the best she could.  I figure she was just trying to cope, and couldn't.
Blank
316002_tn?1246556737
My husband and I  have just started contacting and getting info on adoption...I am very thankful there are birthmothers..after years of trying to conceive I finally decided that god had a better plan for me, and without birthmothers who so graciously decide it is best for their child to be adopted I would not have an option of  being a mother. I hope that when I finally get to that last step I can have a wonderful relationship with the birthmother , if that is alright with her. I would hope she would become some part of my family just like her child has. I know we have a long road ahead of us since we just started this journey, but we are ready for each step of the way!!! So thank you to all birthmothers out there who are so brave and giving. I know it must be tough but you love you baby THAT MUCH...and that is a wonderful thing.
Blank
82861_tn?1333457511
I can tell you what my adopted nephew thinks of his birth mother.  He loves her.  He has stated that many times in his life, the first being when he was about 5 or 6.  I'll never forget it.  He said to his mother, "I love her because she let me come live here."  He is an adult now, and although he says he would be interested in meeting his birth mother, he hasn't pursued a search at this point.  All we know about her is that she was a teen mother who had already given up one previous child, and another one after my nephew was born.  Everyone in our family adores this young man, and we all love the woman who gave him life and gave him to our family.  Wherever she is, and whoever she is, God bless her.
Blank
501792_tn?1261114706
I'm adopted. I'm now 28. I love my parents(technichally my "adoptive" patents...only technically) I met my bio family. Have visited them on and off for the past 10.
When I was growing up I always thought about my bio mother. My parents have told me they kept telling me that I was adopted since they brought me home at 3 days old until I could understand what "adoption" ment. But would never tell me any of the specifics. So of course I was curious, I thought about what she looked like...did I look like her. What she was like.
If she met me would she love me?
Not all adopted children think the same things though.
and adopted kids can go through stages on hwo they view there bio mother. It's like a process as you get older and understand things a little better.
I personally never stopped loving my bio mother. I always felt a connection even before I met her.  And even through meeting her, although it hasnt been perfect, there is still nothing she can do to make me love her any less.

But that is only my experience.

TMA
Blank
142722_tn?1281537216
i am so heartbroken not to hear from Adams parents.  I just wanted a pic, but do understand why they may not be contacting me.  It is hard on them as well as Adam.  I just wonder and wish they could understand my pain.  I did what I could with my first letters and now it is left up to them, no pushing from me - i have to right to push them.  they are his parents and it is up to them as to what happens.  i am just so sad, i wish i could see what he looks like :(
Blank
217599_tn?1202854552
I feel for you.  I am an adoptee, and also an adoptive parent.  I love my birth mom and i deffinately am extremely thankful to my son's birth mother for giving him life and choosing my husband and i to be his parents.  He is a wonderful young man, a firefighter.  We are so proud of him.  we are also extremely grateful to his birthmom and pray for blessings on her life.

Lucy
Blank
142722_tn?1281537216
you really love your bith mother.  it is so hard to wait.  i feel a connection to him even though he is not around me.
Blank
416069_tn?1214609365
This is a nice thread.  I am a birthmother (11/22/78) and now hearing all the talk of the 30th year high school reunion and brings up memories of being pregnant that senior year in high school.

Blank
353148_tn?1293064764
DH and I are thinking of looking into adoption. I have always had the most respect for birth mothers, who love there kids enough to give them up. I have 2 teens of my own, and I have no idea how hard it must be to carry a child for 9 months then give them up for a better chance in life. That is the most selfless act, and the true meaning of motherhood. GOD will reward you for your sacrafices.

Love to you all!!!!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Kris123, as a birthmom myself, I understand how sad you feel to not have a picture of your son to assure you he is right there, safe, and so wonderful. I agree with you that you cannot go pushing his adoptive parents, they are after all the ones doing the parenting now (and, further, are his legal parents), but please do not stop recognizing that you, too, are his parent. Further, you do not "have no right to" ask----and if they promised to send pictures and have gone back on that promise, you certainly have moral right to hold them to their word. Even so, best to understand they may be afraid---apparently, many many adoptive parents live with a fear that "the birthmother" will come take their child back, a fear they may have developed during the transition time when the child was still not legally "theirs" but emotionally they'd bonded. So, yes, hold your sadness, let's not think in terms of "rights," and be glad knowing so many adoptive parents and children, like those on this list and, we hope, Adam's, care for and love the child's first mom---and your child.
Blank
655962_tn?1224471404
GOD BLESS YOU WITH ALL HIS MIGHT!!!!

I believe that you could be a poster child for all Bmoms and adoptees. I have a Past...3 boys up for adoption 18 years ago and I battle with wanting to see them all the time...I have contacted the older 2 and the oldest is not wanting contact and the middle is still only a boy, even though he is 18...I have a blog on adoption.com...........heres my story....
HELP!!!
Peace to all
I am going to Bible study and hopefully when I come home I will feel better.

well ss so long
but this is my story....and still I stuggle everday, because I really really love them
rch4hvn

    

Blank
655962_tn?1224471404
HELP!!! My oldest son just turned 18 last year and he wants nothing to do with me. I wrote him a letter close to his 18th birthday to say Hi and to explain in short terms who I was. He got the mail that day and his AMOM said that he was upset and angry because I had put B MOM on the letter. Well, now he talks to his older sister, but wants nothing to do with me. He said he is thankful to me for bringing him into the world and giving him a nice family, but as for me he has nothing to say. It hurts. I wonder, did his AMOM say something negative to him? Did I do something wrong? What? I want the chance to explain to him, why I did put him up for adoption. Ever since the adoption over 18 years ago I have this empty feeling in my heart and I was just waiting for the day they would be of legal age so I could have my chance, and now , here it is and .........What am I suppose to do now?

He also has a brother that lives with him too that I am the BMOM too and he will turn 17 next year. I sent them both emails but no reply. I wish I knew what they were thinking.

You know how everyone says.....You are doing the best for your child and wouldnt you want your child to have all the opportunities you didnt, well, one thing they forgot to tell you is the pain of losing them never goes away. I just want to hold them and tell them that I have loved them since the day I found out I was pregnant...feeling them move inside of me....and dealing with the decisions I thought I would never have to make. I wanted a big family, but I didnt count on a drug addict for a husband. Yes, their dad was a drug addict and the drugs came first then the women then his family. It was very rare that he would ever get the time to spend with family.

I was so excited when I became pregnant with my son, which is now 18. I bought a cradle and decided I would handmake him a mattress for it that would be softer than store bought. His BDAD even helped me sew it. I was thinking, he is real excited. Maybe this is what we need to feel like a faamily and he would give up the drugs, but he never did. Later he was in Prison for burglary and attempted murder. 12 years in Prison, and blames me for giving HIS boys up for adoption, huh. The nerve.

You know originally the AMOM was going to send pictures every year and keep in contact with me and let me go see them when they were old enough to understand, but she never did any of those things and just recently she said, why dont you write me a letter, if you trust me, and I will read it to the boys and I will also send you some pics if you leave your forwarding address on the envelope. I said ok, sent the letter like 4 months ago and nothing.

more to come...........
Blank
655962_tn?1224471404
CONTINUED...when I was 16, I got preg with my daughter , who is now 21. She is everything to me. She has been my rock, my reason for trying and continuing trying and my support for the last 21 years. Well, I fell in love with her dad when I worked at this casino as a snack bar attenant. I was in love...awwwe Well later we moved into together and had Angela, in the meantime I find out that her dad is married in mexico and he left to go there when I was 7 months pregnant. I felt so alone my first child and no father...Well I went to seek support from my mom and she gave it to me....she was very supportive, she was even in the delivery room when I had her( had to do emergency c-secton). All in all things went well. I named her Angela, my angel. I felt God had sent her down to show me , there was a reason for living. Then while her dad was gone angela was abused physically by her dads cousin(will explain in depth later) well her dad finally came back when she was 4 months old and wanted to pick off where we left off and against my better judgement I did. I wanted her to have a father to love her and be there for her.

Well, while I was with her dad, I got pregnant again...omg...I was not prepared for that at all...so, I debabted do I have the child????? Well, I did the most selfish thing in the world.....I had an abortion...I was never going to do that, it was against all I believed in, I was young, in a bad and going no where relationship, Plus I was getting ready to end things with angelas dad, so there I went. Scared, This older lady that worded with me went to the office with me and held my hand the whole way...from then on I was determined not to get pregnant unless I met the right one, the one I wanted to spend my life with.

Time passes and Angela is now 2 years old. I was working at the Cal-Neva casino as a cashier and I meet this cook. He was so cute. I was googoogaga over him. he lifted weights, he was a cook , he made pretty good money and he liked me. wow

I fell hard, we moved in together, I really thought this was for a lifetime...well I got pregnant....I also found out that the man I loved was a drug additic, a womanizer and was irresponsible, but I couldnt help my self I was in Love stupid, but never the less in love, so I thought.

I found out I was having a boy and my boyfriend was so happy, he even helped me make a mattress for the cradle we had bought.
well my water broke and here I go into labor. I had regular labor for 12 hours and then c-section, once again my mother was there with me, not my boyfriend.Come to find out he was with this girl while I was in labor. I remember , the next day...he was so cute, has a head of black soft and silky hair and his skin was so soft. I couldnt stop kissing him and then his sister came in and held him and I called my dad, ( which I had never met, only talked to a few times in my whole like) and told him he was a grampa once more and this time I was going to name my baby after him David......His name Vincent( after his dad ) david ( ater my dad) and Carillo . That was his dads last name. I was so happy...I went home, his dad was never home. One day he brought these homeless people to our house and told me they were going to stay for a few days, I was furious. He didnt care. They were doing homemade tatoos, drinking and then they dissappeared along with my boyfriend to search for drugs. I never saw my boyfriend til about a week later. I thought he loved me..I was so in love with him, but now I realize it was obbsesion, not love, because love does not hurt as much as I was hurting.

I had fallen into this great deppression, somedays I didnt even take a shower or get dressed. I didnt want to face reality. My boyfriend use to take my daughter downtown in the pouring rain with just a diaper, undeer his jacket and then he had the nerve to take this girl to my job and ask for money to feed my baby. I couldnt believe it, well I gave it to them and this happened several time. One time I get this page at my job from the police, that my boyfriend was at the park passed out and my 2 year old daughter was walking alone through the park, I was like what. he said that wasnt true, he new where she was the police were just stupid, huh. Well, needless to say I believed him, not the police...to be continued
Blank
655962_tn?1224471404
Well.... We also were living in a motel before my son was born and I was paying everything, because (" the love of my life, rt") was fired from his cooking job due to him drinking on the job. Also he had this so called girl living with us because she had no where to go and he said she could babysit while he was looking for a job, huh...He didnt look for anything. He was having an affair with her rt under my nose, but do you think I saw it, nope...Denial, once again.I was so upset, angry, betrade, sense of worthlessness, I also tried to commit suicide, because now....My mother was not there for support, neither was anyone else. I felt lost and If I gave my boyfriend up I would have no one and at that time in my life being alone was not comphrehensable for me.

I was so obsest with him I even took 2000.00 dollars of my income Tax Refund and my daughter and I , 7 months pregnant, went with him to see his parents, in Mexico....He managed to spend all that money within 7 days and I had to ask my mother to buy me a bus ticket to come home. When I got home I didnt want anything to do with him and I moved in with my mom. That didnt last long because she was so wrapped up in her own life she didnt have time for me and my family and plus here came boyfriend crying on hands and knees teling me he still loved me and I believed it one more time...stupid...so I move in with him 1 more time.

Well....................The story goes on......
Now getting back to David being born....June 29, 1988. I was so confused, I wanted the best for my kids and I was not mentally stable after this rolling relationship with boyfriend. I had decided in my mind once he was about 6 months old that I was going to put him up for adoption, with the help of my mom and a friend of hers...you know everyone else always know whats better for you than you. Instead of them , maybe helping me get on my feet, they wanted to get rid of the problem. So, my moms friend had a girlfriend that worked with her that couldnt have kids and she was very anxious to adopt. She had a very good job at the power company and her husband worked as a computer programer at a well known Bank here. They had a big extended family....grandfathers, cousins, nieces, nephews..etc.. When we sat down to talk about everything she said that she would send me pictures all the time and that when the kids were old enough she would tell them that they were adopted and that they were extra special because they were chosen, they didnt just happen. She also said that she would explain to them that I loved them very much and it was very hard for me to let them go, but because all she had promised, it made things a little more bearable. Well we set a date for her to come pick up David at the house , I had to get all of his stuff ready to go....formula, bottles , his blankie, his clothes, his teather, his toys , etc....when she came in and said Im here I was frozen, she was here for my child, omg, this is really happening, she is going to take him forever...I couldnt watch , I said heres his stuff and let me get him...the moment I picked him up, I felt this sorrow, anger, disbelief, anxiety, everything you could think of, I didnt want to let him go and then she reached out her hands and he started screaming at the top of his lungs and I said bye papas I love you so much and that was it I couldnt compose myself. She just took him to her car and strapped him in the carseat and then came back for his stuff and I shut the door and balled like a little baby, I couldnt believe it he was gone....forever..I have longed for him ever since.......
Blank
655962_tn?1224471404
Well, I tried to put this behind me. But still obbsessing with having my family together. His BDAD came to me again and said he still loved me and he wanted to try and get D back so we could be a family again and that was all he wanted, and believe me thats what I wanted too....Keep in mind that the adoption would not be final until his BDAD filed a release of his rights with the court and that was a few months down the road. So, we start seeing each ther again and what happens, I get pregnant, omg...again....Well, once again I fall into his scheme of things...believing everything he says. Keep in mind , still my mom doesnt support me I felt so alone, no where to turn too so I fell and I fell bad.

rch4hvn
so sorry this is so long, but I thought if you heard my story you could better understand how I feel and alot of birth mothers feel

GOD BLESS
Blank
142722_tn?1281537216
I am the birthmother that posted and the only thing I can say is that i had to let it go to God, the idea of meeting him, wanting a picture, wanting to be in his life, wanting a reason as to why God let this happen, being bitter at my parents for making me do it, bitter at the agency - I had to let it go all the thoughts everything.  I put it in Gods hands asked him to deal with it and I left it there - my thoughts, my expectations, I don't matter, it is Adam that is the most important, it is his life that matters, not mine and not what I want.  No more will I sit around and cry about it, he has parents that love him, he has a wonderful family and if they want me to come into to it, I will and would be glad and grateful.  I am so thankful that God has taken care of Adam and God put him where he was supposed to be.  If he only wants to meet me once, that is fine, I love him enough to let him live his life, to let go, to be happy-
Blank
142722_tn?1281537216
you know i feel blessed by God that he chose me to carry my son, to give him a chance at a wonderful life/
Blank
655962_tn?1224471404
So true, You know, I went to the doctors yesterday and I was sitting there talking to my dr. and she said, by what I was saying, that is sounds like I feel guilty.....She hit the nail on the head. Dont ask me why, because I made this decision with sound mind and unselfishness. My mom and my moms' friend told me that I was doing what was in my sons best intrest and give them a chance at a great life, something I couldnt have given at that time and I do agree with you, that its best just to let go and let GOD, because we have no control on what will happen...just pray

GOD BLESS
rch4hvn
Blank
142722_tn?1281537216
yep,  i know how it hurts because I feel all those feelings you feel and it is ok to feel them.  Sometimes I take it back but I got to give it right back to him.  My parents made me give my son up at 14 and I had a shady adoption agency handling the adoption and there were a bunch of lies ect...  but like I said can't change any of that.  I feel for you so much and understand, you have had a hard life.
Blank
655962_tn?1224471404
Thanks for understanding. I was talking to my doctor the other day and she said that , she feels I made the best choice for my boys and that I should be proud of the way their lives have turned out,( I am), dont get me wrong, I just wish things had been a little different thats all. Oh, and through all the talking with her we found the root of my regrets is, guilt....extreme guilt....I told her that I didnt understand why my mom didnt help me more and she said,it sounds like your mom had her problems too( she was addicted to gambling), everytime I wanted her to help with the baby, shed say, well im leaving ill be back soon, so, whats done is done all we have left is waiting time. God Bless and I hope that God will deliver my boys bak to me soon. Wishes for everyone that we find peace with our pasts and our futures

Rch4hvn
Goonnight kris  :)
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I am grateful for my adoptive parents for giving me a lovely upbringing. I love my birth mother for being so brave to let me go. My birth father did not want a child, and although she loved me, she wasn't in a financial position to raise me on her own, so she turned to adoption. I know it was not easy for her to give me up.

In those days, the birth mother wasn't allowed to see the baby. She told me that when they released her from the hospital, she snuck back in and checked on me to make sure I was OK [I only found this out after we reunited, and it made all the difference in the world to me, too].
Blank
890388_tn?1241192762
Just wanted to put my perspective on what your biological son may be thinking and why he is reluctant to have a relationship with you. He may be feeling that he is betraying his mother and father by having any sort of a relationship with you. He may feel that since you "abandoned" him, you gave away any and all claim to him. Perhaps he feels that you took the easy road out and don't deserve to have a relationship with someone that has been out of your life for so long.

It's impossible to say what thoughts are his and if anything has been said negatively by the adoptive parents to try to color you in an unflattering light. There are so many feelings that we adoptees feel, whether they are the truth or not. We feel unwanted, abandoned, not good enough, and sometimes boys are more likely to just say "screw you" I just don't care about you enough to get to know you. I know that hurts, but I would bet that it's unresolved hurt that he is feeling more than a dislike for you.

Try to write him a note explaining your feelings as you had to decide to give him up. Let him know what your life was like, and ask him if he thinks that you made the right decision for him. Let him know that you did love him, and did want him, but that it just wasn't possible at the time. Try to reason with him as best you can.

All you can do is try. The ball is in his corner now, and feelings and hearts change over time. Try not to push the issue too far, but let him know that you understand his feelings and that you are there for him if he ever has the need.

Hope this helps a little

Steph
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
What a sad story! I agree with kris123, you have had a hard life. It is good you can be glad that your kids are, even so, doing well in life, and that your decision to give them up had good results (I don't want to say "the right results" because you/we cannot know what the results of a differnt decision could have been). I am writing because, though I like many of Steph's points, I have also heard of adopted boys (young men, but 18 is still a boy, often) who react against long explanations from their birthmoms about why they did as they did. It might be better to stress how much love you felt and feel, how glad you are that your son's adoptive parents have raised him so well, how you have thought and prayed for him, how hard and sad it was to give him up and how bereft you felt to suddenly have the adoption happening. And to tell him you are there should he ever seek to meet you, and that you hope he will.  Because it is to be remembered that kids around the 14-21 age do not like to feel that *any* parent is trying to get them to do something; best he not feel pressured to any extent. And you have no idea what pressures about decisions--this or any other decisions--he gets, in general, from his adoptive parents, or how he reacts to stress.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hi, TMA, your post reminds me of my own birthson. He too was open to his love for his birthmom, who turned out to be this person who is me, and in spite of some rough times his sensitivity and, though less than his, my own, apparently have kept us connected so far since. Eighteen years now since he found me. I still remember giving birth to him, and holding him, and seeing him in the nursery just before I left the hospital when he was born, and a week later holding him in the adoption agency--he was so much bigger--and then going in to another room and signing the papers. There were over twenty years before, single mother to a 13-year-old  son, I put my hand in the mailbox and found the letter from the adoption agency saying---well, saying very little, but saying enough to indicate that I should contact them--and when I did, they told me he was looking for me. We had a very caring and moving reunion, and I am glad for this, glad as a human can be. And I am glad for you and your birthmom that you, too, have an ongoing awareness and connection.
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
I still don't know how to feel as an adopted son. I sent a long heartfelt letter to my birthmother 2 years back and received a very terse one paragraph response.

I realize my birthparents probably have families now, and I know they're not together anymore. However, I just want closure...and they refuse to talk to me further despite repeated attempts through the agency.

I have no desire to take anything from them but information, and perhaps to see what they look like. I'm about to write one final letter...as they've never responded except my birthmother that one time. My records indicate they would speak to me, but obviously things have changed.

I feel a mixture of sadness, anger and longing just to know. My family is my adopted family now, and that will never change. I just want to know things...and it seems like that may be too much for them.
Blank
922475_tn?1243965897
As an AMOM, I can tell you, my emotions are mixed.  I have 3 kids. Twins, adopted at age 5  that are now 20 and also a son age 16. He was adopted at 14months.  My children have some history behind them.  I realize not all BMOMs have their reasons for the placement.  My twins, a boy and girl,  were placed on the front porch in a diaper at the age of 2 in January. BMOM called 911 told the dispatch to have them picked up she didnt want them. So, I do have some negative feelings toward her.  And yes, I have heard the 911 recording of that call.  However, I refuse to speak my negative thoughts outloud.  My kids deserve better than that. I don't know her reason behind what she did but I'm glad she did it because I have a wonderful son and daughter from her actions.  My youngest son, well, his BMOM chose drugs and a dealer over her baby.  She went on the have 3 other kids who didn't survive due to extreme birth defects.  Again, I will not speak of her in a negative light to him.  They are MY children.. and for whatever reason they came to be my babies... so be it.  They are chosen children....chosen by God to be my babies... and me to be their Mom.  I'm not at all threatened by the fact that one day they might want to meet their BMOMs.  I will stand proudly beside them... help them in any way I can... and hold their hand if I need to.  My kids call them their Mother's... but they call me their Mama or Mom.... that's cause I'm their REAL Mom. We are a family.
Blank
142722_tn?1281537216
I think that in your case you draw on what you have experienced.  My adoption was different then you wrote.  I loved my son and wanted him.  The term "real" mother is a term I don't like, but that is me.  You got every right to say that, you are the mother who raised them.  Their birthmothers are different from me, so my case is not the same.  My son is not a pieace of property to be clamed by any one.  As far as my concern he is God's.  With out me my son would not be with his father - he and his wife divorced and my son lives with his amom.  I will always be his family and my blood is running through him and if he never wants to meet, but he has wrote me telling me he does, I would be fine with that.  God put him in my, gave him my blood and that can NEVER be taken from me.  Just a you are your children's real mother to him, I am just as a Real mother to my son.  You and his parents may never see that, but without me they would have no son.  He is happy and I won't contact them, his family loves him.  I view him in my own way and I have that right, even if he doesn't feel the same, which he does because he wrote me. Wow I sound really nasty about this.  I agree with you, you are their mother :) and God gave you those babies, but their birthmothers didn't love them. I fought for my son and my parents made me give him up - that is a big difference.  In life we draw from what we know and thinking outside of the box can be hard.  In your case, I agree.  Good for you for loving them and taking care of them.  
Blank
930042_tn?1244338280
We adopted a (then) 2 and 3 yr old siblings. We had tried for years of having children and did not have any luck. So a friend of mine decided to introduce us to a DHS worker which inturn signed us up for foster to adopt classes. We finished those classes in October of 03 and received our first children December of 03. They were out of a sibling group of 6 but the other 4 were already placed in a adoption home. We had them for 3 yrs before the rights of the parents were actually terminated and we were able to adopt them. We adopted them in July of 06 and they are now 8 and 9. They actually get to see all of their siblings except for one. We aren't for sure where he was placed and actually that he moved out of state after being adopted. Im so glad that they get to continue to have a relationship with the siblings that aren't together. My two are extremely happy and totally understand that they were specially picked and chosen to be in our family. Sometimes I think they wish they were normal when kids talk about it at school. We have had several instances at school with the 8yr girl reguarding issues of birth questions and who was in whos belly and where they were born and what hospital. I just got on the internet and researched it. I also have their origional birth certificates along with the ones that have our names on them now.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I would read my post. It basically says exactly how I feel.

Some days I wish I was just like alot of other people, not adopted. When you're little it's hard. In middle school people used to say "Noone loves you, you're adopted" and even though they said it to everyone, I REALLY WAS. So I would so "I am adopted and i'm pretty sure my adoptive parents love me." but later those days, I would just cry.

Another time my cousin(of my adoptive family) said "You're not even my real cousin" I was so mad at him, and we've never been the same since.
Blank
631676_tn?1333721803
agree with jtssteph. he may be feeling that he is betraying his mother and father by having any sort of a relationship with you. i always felt my dad was so insecure about his infertility (i had no idea it was him that could not conceive but i just guess) that my search would hurt him dearly.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
You are my hero, my fairygodmother, my santa claus, my savior.
Because of you and others like yourself I am a mom.

(details: http://www.ask.com/bar?q=can+metamucil+make+you+lose+weight%3F&page=1&qsrc=2106&ab=9&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.medhelp.org%2Fposts%2FWeight-Loss-Alternatives%2FMetamucil-and-weight-loss-gain%2Fshow%2F22521 )
Blank
1080992_tn?1256140030
If only you'd known what was gonna happen to me....
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Adoption Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
The 3 Essentials to Ending Emotiona...
Sep 18 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Control Emotional Eating with this ...
Sep 04 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eating Control: How to St...
Aug 28 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top Parenting Answerers
480448_tn?1403547723
Blank
nursegirl6572
PA