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adoption

So I'm not wanting to give my baby up for adoption. But I'm curious if anyone on here ever has. I want to know how hard it is to walk away from something you created.

I'm in a situation where walking away may be my only option, but it's so hard to even consider.
9 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
I've never done but I know someone who has and the person is not same anymore it seem to really hurt em I wouldn't even think about it I have 2 babies and I couldn't even imagine
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Avatar_f_tn
That's the issue. It's tearing me up just thinking about it. But since I've gotten pregnant, things have just gotten worse instead of better. And even though I know I'm not a bad mom, I can't afford the lawyer I'd want/need to make sure my child stays with me. And my boyfriend would make my life a living hell I'm sure if I tried to stay in the picture. Hell, I think he's gonna make my life a living hell if I try to leave. Idk what to do.
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7600327_tn?1393362485
Don't let him intimidate you. Do what you feel is right. I have 2 kids by my ex. He is a horrible human being & "tries" his best to make my life hell. It used to get to me, but I got over eventually & now I'd kill him dead if he ever came near my kids. You don't have to have money for a lawyer. In all states a father must prove the mother as unfit in order for the courts to even consider taking the child from the mother. Start keep a log of everything he does, so that if it comes down to you having to go to court you have everything documented. Also let your family know what's going on. You do whatever it is you have to for that baby. Do even consider giving up the life you created because your boyfriend is an ***. And I'm sorry to say, but if he's makes you feel this way he shouldn't be your boyfriend.
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Avatar_f_tn
I've never placed a baby for adoption but my husband and I did adopt. It takes a very strong woman to place her child with a different family. We have an open adoption so that our son will know her and she can see him grow up. I know it was extremely hard for her yet at the time it was her best option.
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973741_tn?1342346373
I really commend you for even considering adoption.  It's a brave woman that can look at a situation realistically and understand their own limitations.  There is no shame in that.  And the beauty of today's adoption is that you can have an 'open' adoption.  This would mean you know your child on some level, keep in contact with the adoptive parents, etc.  It can be a really beautiful thing.  Sometimes circumstances just are not right to raise a child.  And then for the child's sake, a couple steps in and becomes their caretaker and parents ----  which can be a wonderful thing for all.  

I think all would have sadness over this type of situation but knowing you are doing what is in the best interest for your child would MAKE you the best parent ever for putting a baby up for adoption.  

Now, I don't know your particular situation so am just talking about adoption in general.  But if you think adoption would be best, I would think you can overcome sad feelings over time by realizing that this was what was best for the baby.  The baby goes on to have a loving and stable home.  And you can know the baby so don't lose all contact.  And then when ready, begin a family of your own under better circumstances.

But only you know what is right for your particular situation.  Again, I am just speaking in generalities.  good luck sweetie.  hard things to deal with and think about.  peace and hugs
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Avatar_m_tn
No woman should have to give away their baby for financial reasons - and let's face it, that IS the main reason most do it.  It's disguised as not having help from a man, or wanting to finish school and get ones life together - but let's face it, it's really about being able to afford having a baby.  You don't need your boyfriend to do it, to be a good mom.  There is plenty of help out there for single mothers.

I think a woman should tHink long and hard before making a decision that will have such a major impact on their life, and on their baby's life.  But it should be YOUR decision alone.  It's easy to consider all this adoption stuff while you are pregnant, when the whole concept of another life is still very surreal...but I assure you, once the baby is born, it's a whole different story.  And in the days and weeks after, you will be over emotional and your hormones will be all over the place.  There is a reason why most agencies looking for babies for their clients want you to sign the papers within a few days of birth - because you won't be thinking clearly.  I suggest that if you do your research on your options, and really consider what it will be like to either give up or keep the baby, and if after that you really think adoption is what you might want, then it won't matter if you wait a few weeks before signing the papers.  Give yourself time after the birth to really understand what has happened, and what it will mean to lose the baby - and just be as sure as you possibly can about what you want to do.  Don't worry that you might bond with the baby if you don't sign it over right away - because I can assure you, you are going to be bonded already.  And so is your baby, who has listened to your voice, grown in your body, for all these months.  you are going to live whatever decision you make for a very very long time. There are women out there that can - but there are many many more who say it was the biggest mistake of their lives.  

Best of luck to you
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973741_tn?1342346373
Oh goodness.  What is your source for many many more?  That is doubtful.

Giving a baby is definitely a personal decision and something no one should decide for you.  I would not let fear stop you from making it if you feel it is best.  good luck
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Avatar_f_tn
I would love to see research or any proof to support your claims. Children raised in poverty are at an extreme risk of all sorts of things not the least of which is brain damage caused by high levels of stress hormones. Every day public funding is being cut for housing, food assistance, child care assistance, public transit, and student loans. I'm sorry but raising a baby by yourself without family support or a decent education with great job prospects is becoming close to impossible. It is really sad that this is where we have come to as a society, but this is MANY women's reality.

No woman should ever be bullied into adoption. It is a difficult decision. In the same vein, no one should be bullied out of choosing adoption with emotional scare tactics.
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Avatar_m_tn
Its very hard to give your child for adoption. But if you really love your child,  think of safe and good future for your child, its very important for you to take this step and move forward for your child life ahead. what you can do is you can consult a good child adoption agency who provide open adoption, so that whenever you wanted you can meet your child and can remain updated with medical health and all events.

When you will see your child is so happy and adoptive parents love your child a lot, you will definitely be very happy.

I know one of good adoption agency that can help you in very easy way as my friend also adopted from it: Providence Place

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