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2290570 tn?1339570378
how to find birth parents?
I am 18 and I'm adopted but my adoption was a closed adoption.  I know little to nothing about my birth parents and I know that one of the reason for a closed adoption is for it to be "closed" no contact, no names,no finding out. But I really just want to know. Its an emotional thing I believe a lot of people who have been adopted just want some closer. I was adopted mnths after I was born so I don't know anything else but the parents I have now. If I was to try to find out who my birth mom was how would I go about that? I'm very serious about it and have had a lot of time to think about it. I just want to know who she is or if she's alive, and if she still wants nothing to do with me then I will leave her alone. Just please help how do I start this process not knowing hardly anything. I just want to find my mom and know she is ok.. :(
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32 Answers
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Avatar universal
you should start from searching the institute where you adoption parents got, may open the door for the solution of your problem.
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its going too all depend on weather or not your birth mom kept the county updated on where she was living at each time she moved after she placed you for adoption i know this because i just placed my son for adoption
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757137 tn?1347200053
Ask your adoptive parents to help you. My brother has two adopted daughters. In their late teens they both wanted to find their biological parents. My brother and his wife helped them and were successful. Although the girls have included their biological parents in their lives, to some extent, their true parents will always be the adoptive ones.
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757137 tn?1347200053
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2290570 tn?1339570378
My adoptive parents don't want to help. I don't even know how much info they know. They just said it was a closed adoption and that when birth parents have closed adoptions it mean they don't ever want to see there kid again. But in my case I always wonder what if my birth mom is looking for me. I believe she could have changed her mind.
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2290570 tn?1339570378
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757137 tn?1347200053
Advertise. That might very well work.
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757137 tn?1347200053
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Avatar universal
Find out what agency you were adopted through, and contact them.
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the answers you people are giving here are short and do explain the question asked. if ands or buts are not going to help this girl find her birth parent(s). I wish i had the answer too as I myself am in a bit of a jam. my father was adopted from birth and my grandmother or my fathers mom who addopted him will give no info regardless of serious medical conditions that have arised in the past and MAY pose a serious threat in the future. my dad had a brain tumor as a early adult. he had brain surgery to have the tumor removed and has been on several medications since. Im now a father myself and my son now 4yrs old has had mild seizers or passed out on more than one occasion. me and my girlfriend had an appointment to take our boy in to have a EKG done and it scared the **** out me seeing my son with 30 wires hooked to his head to moitor brain activity. oh... also he had to fall asleep for this test to be successful. needless to say it would be nice to have some sort of knowledge on any hereditary issues. do any doctors keep notes on that type of stuff. if not maybe they should start if they havnt already. i could care less who my fathers biological parents are. as far as im concerned those are his real parents and im sure he feels the same. not knowing on the other hand keeps things interesting. i sometimes feel and act as if i have been put here on earth for somthing far greater than what im doing with myself and if i found out my true blood was garbage a just may be a little dissapointed. after all.... for one to give their child up for adoption, one must have a pretty damn good excuse. if your mom did change her mind about you hun. she would come to you. i couldnt imagine the shame and guilt one would carry for the rest of their life. im sure its mentally  challanging for every one involved at one point or another. good luck whatever you decide. everything will work its self out in the end. it has to...
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2290570 tn?1339570378
I'm sorry about your son, I really hope they find what's wrong and can get him feeling better and can ease your worries. I have a daughter myself and I know I would feel horrible if I saw her hooked up to wires and she was passing out for no known reason. As far as what other people have said I have tried to figure out if there was an agency I was adoptive from and my   adoptive parents deny there was, which I find that hard to believe but whatever. I always wondered if my birth mother or father would ever try looking for me if they wanted to see me but I always think what if there as stuck as me, what if they don't have enough info because in the beginning they agreed to never golooking for me that it would remain a closed adoption just like it began. It's so confusing and I never know if what my adoptive parents are telling me is the real truth or not. I've been wondering if I go to the hospital I was born at if they can give me any info. I know I was in the hospital a couple days before I went home like every baby is. Mayne they have an original birth certificate. I really don't know since my parents knew they were going to adopt me a couple mnths before I was born.
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4775557 tn?1359038281
I am so sorry to know about your situation, if it is closed adoption then may be very difficult to find the way out of it. First you need to talk with your current parents and convince them that you just want to see them and nothing will go wrong. If they are willing then it may be easy but trying to find out with the institution will be very difficult.
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4775557 tn?1359038281
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Avatar universal
Aww I really hope u find them! I was hoping to read this post and u found then,  best of luck to u - keep us updated :)
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Im a birth mother who marked the adoption closed. I asked to recieve pictures of her from time to time and have recieved a few within 3 years. Its not true we never want to see our children again! I long for the day for her to want to find me.
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5654101 tn?1371738121
I am so sorry to know about your situation. I always wondered if my birth mother or father would ever try looking for me.  best of luck to you.
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5654101 tn?1371738121
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Avatar universal
Ok here's the deal 4 every1 lookin 4 bio parents...I knw cuz I was adopted when I was 5 & now I'm 31...u see every adoption has adoption papers & in those papers ull find the name for the social worker that handled ur case so with that said u need to talk to ur folks & have them help u but...u really need to make sure that this is somethin u REALLY wanna do but there r ways to find her...I knw bcuz my adoption was closed & with the help of the social worker & support of my folks & hubby I was able to find my bio mother...best of luck to u in ur journey
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A closed adoption is for the safety of the child NOT bcuz the parents dnt want the child...I'm srry but ur parents shld b supportive not negative...
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I realize this an old thread so I don't know if you are still around here. I was also adopted and the Sam feelings as you growing up. I was adopted in the 60's so mine was also closed. To make this short I went to the agency in my county and asked for the info. They found it and contacted my birth mother to find out if she wanted to meat me. She agreed. They met with her and then gave her my contact info. We did reunite and now have a relationship. It actually brought closure to my life and made me realize that my adoptive parents will always be my true parents as they were the ones who raised me and gave me so much love. You can PM me if you want more info. Good luck.
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i am 26 and was adopted at age 2, i started looking for information about my birth family when i was pregnant with my oldest child at 17, i went to my local D.F.S (division of family services) office i was given the run around for years..
you have to be this old to get information.. you have to go here, then you have to go there.. long story short recently i went to the family court office and finally received non- identifying information about my family and am currently waiting for a response saying if they would like to meet me. im not sure if you have recieved any leads but try family court in your area and good luck
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it will be ok imean you will find them you said your 18 right arnt you able to see the papers since your an adult
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2290570 tn?1339570378
Thank you guys for all your helpful comments. I recently turned 20 and unfortunately am still looking for my birth parents. I have had no luck so i took a bit of a break to focus on nursing school and my daughter. I am still desperate to find either one of my parents so I am going to try to talk to my parents again. The worst that could happen would be they would say no again...Some of you guys have been mentioning something about looking at the adoptions papers. If my parents won't give me or let me see my adoptions papers where can I go to get my own copy of the adoption papers. Once again thank you for all your comments.
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560091 tn?1437054632
I'm an adoptive mother and I really hope your parents give you some answers were doing an open adoption for my son so he will always know his birth parens.  If you know the city you were born you can find the local family court division and contact them, they should have record of your case. Hopefully you'll find some answers! Good Luck
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560091 tn?1437054632
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Avatar universal
My adoption was closed. Both my sisters and myself were adopted, but when I was 15 I searched my name and found a letter written by my biological mother, who had been looking for me for almost 8 years at that time. Don't give up hope.
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I have a friend who needs to find his birth parents. He was adopted at two weeks and is now almost 35. His adoptive parents are both deceased and they never told him about his birth parents and left no records for him to use. what can he do?
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I think that you should just be careful about what you do choose to do. That if finding your birth mom will make you happy, then do whatever you need to do to find her.I found my birth dad and I did not want to see what I did see in him. It really hurt me to see my birth dad the way I did because now I do not want to meet my birth mom, I am scared to find out who or what she is now. My advice is that you should just do what you want to do with your life and if you want to find your birth mom or both of your birth parents then I say to go for it, but be ready or prepared to find out who she is. Well good luck
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